Nov 26 2008Wrong, Just Plain Wrong: Vajayjay Hero
Vagina Hero is a fake Guitar Hero knockoff centered around pleasuring a woman's Thingy McThingThing. It's not even a fake game as much as a couple pictures and an article. Still, I know how some of you have never seen one before, so I figured I'd go ahead and post it. That's pretty much it right there. There's lots of crazy colors and shit and round button-y things. Ladies, back me up. I have too seen one!
The stages in Vagina Hero are women, much like the individual songs in previous Hero games released by a completely different publisher that is in no way related to Arctivision. There is no background or story explaining how you suddenly find yourself with a naked vagina in your face -- the stage loads up and it's just there.
Classy 70's-style bow-chika-wow-wow starts playing, and you find your screen assaulted with colored button-press indicators called "E-Zones". The E-Zones (or "EZ's") correspond to the same colored buttons on your Vagina Hero controller, dubbed "HodgePodge". Why HodgePodge?"Just look at it. What the f*** is that? We designed it and we don't even really know. We tried to stay true to real thing, but that's the best we could do."
Hit the jump to see a picture of the controller, which looks pretty much like every vagina I've ever seen. Just remember: the blue button takes you to a very special bonus level.
Mash that button!
Vagina Hero: Exclusive First Look [ripten]
Thanks to Birchie and Phylwx, who don't need a video game to know how to rock. The vagina. Rock the vagina.
Reader Comments
1. Daisy - November 26, 2008 6:30 PM
FAAAAKKKEEEE!!!!
This is an obvious photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadows are all wrong - just like in that movie Never Back Down.
2. Harrison - November 26, 2008 6:30 PM
I wish it was for the Wii, just so I could say I'm going to turn on my Wii and play Vagina Hero. Natch, I'm going to play with my vagina on my Wii.
3. Ollie Williams - November 26, 2008 6:32 PM
I'd hit it.
4. Benjy - November 26, 2008 6:33 PM
someone explain y there is a little kid playing this game i mean like ooo myyy god
5. Pew³ - November 26, 2008 6:43 PM
I invented that game a long time ago. Nobody took me seriously. It was originally intended as a learning tool and had a tongue activated controller.
I want my royalties! ®
pew pew pew
6. GRAMMARNAZI - November 26, 2008 6:56 PM
@4
i think that's actually a picture of a kid and his mom. So, that's o.k.--right?
7. Pew³ - November 26, 2008 7:00 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone (but Daisy, eat a dick.)
Especially Moose Knuckle. You are a funny mofo! I don't care what anyone else says, I don't think your'e a shithead!
pew pew pew
8. RC-960018 - November 26, 2008 7:06 PM
Yeah, a kid with somebody who seems to be his mother.
9. JFreezy - November 26, 2008 7:07 PM
Wow! I didn't know Daisy finally got a video game themed after her vagina!! Way to go Daisy!! I'd play that all night long!!
10. Drew - November 26, 2008 7:07 PM
Ohhh i mash buttons all the time.
11. Pew³ - November 26, 2008 7:09 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone (but Daisy, eat a dick.)
Especially Moose Knuckle. You are a funny mofo! I don't care what anyone else says, I don't think your'e a shithead!
pew pew pew
12. Drew - November 26, 2008 7:11 PM
I love it when people re-post comments on the same page, just incase we didnt read it the first time. But yes daisy can eat a dick....donkey dick
13. Devout Gregorian Monk + - November 26, 2008 7:15 PM
"HodgePodge" because you hodge the podge when you dodge the lodge!
I guess...
THIS IS WRONG!
TOTALLY WRONG!
14. Benjy - November 26, 2008 7:19 PM
its even worse with his mum unless she is teaching him sex education
15. Drew - November 26, 2008 7:22 PM
I love it when people re-post comments on the same page, just incase we didnt read it the first time. But yes daisy can eat a dick....donkey dick
16. Drew - November 26, 2008 7:25 PM
I love it when people re-post comments on the same page, just incase we didnt read it the first time. But yes daisy can eat a dick....donkey dick
17. GRAMMARNAZI - November 26, 2008 7:29 PM
@14
Ya, that's it...."EDUCATION"...riiiiiiiiiight. That's what's going on,
18. Pew³ - November 26, 2008 7:33 PM
Drew, we get it. You love it. Stop now!
19. tylerdurden - November 26, 2008 7:37 PM
Bow Chicka Bow Wow
Red Vs Blue f***ing rules.
20. Drew - November 26, 2008 7:38 PM
sorry too busy mashing the buttons.
21. Moose Knuckle - November 26, 2008 7:40 PM
@7 Thanx pew3, you have a safe and wonderful holiday as well. Thanks to all the intelligent and sexy posters here at geekologie, thanx to the GW heathen god for entertaining us sad wage slaves, and a special shout out to all my clones, although the only real vagina you've seen is in the mirror, I still appreciate your wanton attentions.
pew
22. Daisy - November 26, 2008 7:43 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max wore an armadillo helmit and tried to warn the townspeople that Boss Hog was taking advantage of them. They ended up throwing hot dogs at him, which he and Baja ate.
23. Adam - November 26, 2008 7:51 PM
that kid is fake, the shadows are all wrong
24. meanmofo - November 26, 2008 7:54 PM
BAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
This is so FAKE! Still funny, but fake!! For the ultra-nerds out there it would only have one button!!HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
25. jecka - November 26, 2008 8:11 PM
blue button FTW! extra bonus if it starts bleeding. then you unlock the hidden character, tommy lee.
26. Blopit - November 26, 2008 8:12 PM
finally a game where i can show my talents. Poor sap, only beat veronica on expert well guess what bitch i just bet yur mom on uber ultra awsomnesss expert of doom! and if you f***in try that level yur f***in messed
27. Farva's Twin - November 26, 2008 8:20 PM
Does it ooze fishy mucous when its excited like the hosebags does?
28. Blopit - November 26, 2008 8:30 PM
hmmm....i was expecting a hole in the controler.....well lets just hope they make adjustments in 'Vajayjay' Hero 2....hmmm...Vajayjay hero: 3 legends of f***
29. Thumperchica - November 26, 2008 9:28 PM
um... wow... I like the idea of the tongue controller better...
30. big brown - November 26, 2008 9:33 PM
you guys posting comments are freaking hilarious, you guys make this site funny as f***, everyone have a good thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
31. Steve Hadwin - November 26, 2008 9:51 PM
O.K.
The "Shadows are all wrong" thing is played out!
Please; find something funny to say
32. Gambit - November 26, 2008 10:03 PM
Just like the real vagina, it is the most complex contraption that has ever been conceived.
33. Pew³ - November 26, 2008 10:21 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone (but Daisy, eat a dick.)
Especially Moose Knuckle. You are a funny mofo! I don't care what anyone else says, I don't think your'e a shithead!
pew pew pew
34. GRAMMARNAZI - November 26, 2008 10:29 PM
@31
Hadwin you useless cum-shot,
Shut the f*** up--
Never, never, ever say "please" to Daisy.
35. Hunter - November 27, 2008 1:25 AM
One day, Daisy will drop dead, and all of the little woodland creatures will feed on her fat ass and leave the rest for vultures.
Fun sounding game though, haha. If you're good at it in real life, do those skills translate to the game ;)
36. Zig - November 27, 2008 5:37 AM
I don't need no console to be a vagina hero.
Noobs.
37. greg - November 27, 2008 6:24 AM
Daisy is first
haha
38. Post a Comment - November 27, 2008 6:26 AM
@31 Please keep your comments relevant to the post.
39. eron - November 27, 2008 8:20 AM
Is this game compatible with Guitar Hero Controllers? Because in the "real thing" it truly is... UP TO THE ORANGE FRET!!!!
40. J - November 27, 2008 10:37 AM
I like how it has four green buttons on each side...like you're supposed to have both hands up there.
41. Moose Knuckle - November 27, 2008 11:17 AM
Hey F*** YOU PEW3! I hope you eat shit turkey and die!
42. Boost - November 27, 2008 1:38 PM
"I am green today, a chirp with joy and the crickets on the way"
THAT COMMERCIAL SUCKS!! AHHH!!!!
43. Spider - November 27, 2008 1:49 PM
how the hell did Daisy get a first? guess that means any brainless whore can be first :P
44. Adra - November 27, 2008 2:02 PM
Natures Rubics Cube.
There is only one button on my Vagina Hero controller: Plough.
I just press that for about 10 minutes and then activate the sleep function.
Gx
45. buzz_clik - November 27, 2008 7:22 PM
Daisy got first because it's probably the GW in disguise, trying to beat her to the punch.
46. buzz_clik - November 27, 2008 8:16 PM
Dammit... try as I might, I just can never seem to find the red button.
47. Fubiz - November 28, 2008 9:05 AM
Fake!
48. LSDiesel - November 28, 2008 11:45 AM
My reaction to the controller was very much my reaction to the real thing
"What the hell do you do with it....?"
49. venus - November 28, 2008 3:21 PM
Um, as a female, I'd say hitting the big red button and orange button simultaneously, over and over, should do the trick. Do not neglect the red button. Stay away from the green and blue buttons, though. You know, unless you obtain consent for the latter. ;)
50. Brooke - November 28, 2008 7:12 PM
Oh i do have rainbows coming out of my vag, and teeth but i see they failed to put those in there.
51. cdawg - November 30, 2008 1:39 AM
what's the point of making the vagina seem even more complicated?
all i need is orange and red, and i'm set. i have no idea what the point of the purple and green buttons is, and i actually have a vagina.
52. Dr.Death - November 30, 2008 3:35 AM
great concept but
i got a girl for that
53. shaynanator - December 3, 2008 3:27 PM
this is quite possibly the funniest shit ive ever seen
54. potbot - December 5, 2008 12:59 PM
Donkey Dick is a great commercial yielder. Donkey Dick is a big skunky plant with long buds and a skunky taste. Grow Location Outdoor. Flowering early Sept. Yield 1/2 to 1.5 lbs
Donkey Dick (Hybrid Coastal Mountain H. Plant) - Donkey Dick is one of the nicest genitors from the North Coast of the USA. Loved for its good taste and sticky touch with good results indoor. This mix particularly stands up like French bread. Winner of the PUF 1997 in Quebec.
55. BiSEXUO - January 29, 2009 4:11 PM
damn this game would make me so wet!. i'd buy it....then go f*** some bitches sexy ass girlfriend...DO IT ALL THE TIME. she eats mine and i suck her nipples. i make girls moan like crazy...imma hard gurl to please but this would please me!
56. Remus - October 19, 2009 6:18 PM
why don't you just play with a real vagina?
57. Casey - December 1, 2009 10:13 PM
I wish someone taught men how to pleasure a woman, Jaysus knows they need some help.
I blame excessive porn, with all these bitches ready and waiting for them they have no need to pleasure a real woman :X
and by real Im not saying ugly either
58. edhardyplus - December 4, 2009 10:22 PM
I really appreciate your help.Thank you very much!