Nov 17 2008Oooh, Nice Ride: The New Presidential Limo
General Motors, best known for their delicious line of breakfast cereals, has designed an all new presidential limo for when Barack Obama takes power next year. They were going to do it four years ago, but figured, f*** it, let's focus our efforts on going belly-up for awhile. Anyway, the car.
Most of the specs of this car are top secret, but a few tantalizing details are floating around, such as the five-inch-thick windows that are about half as transparent as regular glass and can stop projectiles from assault rifles, rocket-propelled grenades and high explosives. It's also said to be built of a combination of blast-proof ceramics and exotic metals, and certainly won't have a convertible top or sunroof. While GM's trying to make it look like a Cadillac DTS, it's based on the company's line of heavy-duty 2500 trucks.
Top secret specs my ass. I'll tell you all about this thing: It runs on a rocket engine powered by the tar-like blood of terrorists. It can also hover. Comes complete with dinosaur chauffeur who doubles as sexual masseuse should you hit rush-hour traffic. AM/FM radio. Four tires and spare donut in the trunk. Mini-bar. Wicked two-tone paintjob. Left and right turn signals. Bomb proof undercarriage. 7MPG city/13 highway. A real pussy magnet. I'm serious -- the CIA stole my blueprints.
Obama's new presidential limo is built like a tank, looks like a Cadillac [dvice]
Reader Comments
1. Elmo - November 17, 2008 4:42 PM
but, are the tires bomb/ bullet/ knife proof too?
what's a safe-car if crazy people blow the tires out?
2. haha - November 17, 2008 4:42 PM
haha, first.....
3. Elmo - November 17, 2008 4:43 PM
hey haha
HA freakin HAAA you faaaail
4. LSDiesel - November 17, 2008 4:45 PM
And what happens when the driver locks his keys in the car? Then the only way to open it would be to take it back to the fires of Mount Doom where it was first constructed....
Oh and Batman called. No, he doens't miss his limo, he just wanted to say hello.
5. Davo - November 17, 2008 4:46 PM
No PEW PEW PEW gettin' in this biatch.
6. OJ's Mom - November 17, 2008 4:46 PM
Hey Gookologie Writer - This could be a problem. I blame Obama:
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7. Thumperchica - November 17, 2008 4:47 PM
This is the Caddy I was reffering to in the last post....
8. The Artist Formerly known As GRAMMARNAZI & YOURAYNUS - November 17, 2008 4:51 PM
Looks like a cross between a Limo and a Hummer, ....a Lummer.
9. The Artist Formerly known As GRAMMARNAZI & YOURAYNUS - November 17, 2008 4:52 PM
Looks like a cross between a Limo and a Hummer,.....a LUMMER.
10. The Artist Formerly known As GRAMMARNAZI & YOURAYNUS - November 17, 2008 4:53 PM
excuse me... I had the hickups!
11. Paul - November 17, 2008 4:55 PM
Quite possibly the ugliest car I've ever seen.
12. Thumperchica - November 17, 2008 4:57 PM
OK, I know I'll get in trouble, but how much do you want to bet the new prez requests "Spinners" and an Alpine stereo?
c'mon, it's funny, you know it is...
13. Mike - November 17, 2008 4:58 PM
needs a better paint job. Doesn't look very presidential to me.
*against the window* FAP FAP FAP FAP
14. Thumperchica - November 17, 2008 4:59 PM
That reminds me... This limo will have tank treads and a spare tire, just cuz that's how america rolls!
15. TAFKA GRAMMARNAZI & YOURAYNUS - November 17, 2008 5:03 PM
@12
Yesss, it is. But be nice.
He could also have a "half court" installed in the back.
I shouldn't have, but Thumperchica started
16. Moose Knuckle - November 17, 2008 5:06 PM
Convertable option? Back, and to the left.
17. Anonymous - November 17, 2008 5:06 PM
I agree with #11 in that it is ridiculously ugly. What is with the combination of mirror black and dull grey? Come on it's gross!
18. boredom - November 17, 2008 5:07 PM
I want to be on the team that gets to test the design out. Come on guys, spinners, really? You went there? That's jsut wrong, it's going to have gold spoke players rims with the bonus LED message package built in. DUH!
19. Sp4rkR4t - November 17, 2008 5:13 PM
I thought Obama was just going to go for a classic lo-rider as the power of "hope" will protect him.
20. Derrick - November 17, 2008 5:24 PM
I want some switches installed for that bitch. - Signed, Your motha f'ing president
(P.S-Obama for the win!)
21. TAFKA GRAMMARNAZI & YOURAYNUS - November 17, 2008 5:25 PM
That's the power of "Ho", not "hope. He hopes to be protected by a bunch of Ho's.
22. Derrick - November 17, 2008 5:32 PM
P.S.S- I want some mothaf***in gold flake paint sprayed on that bitch...don't give me no fools gold either
23. Bernie Kosar - November 17, 2008 5:34 PM
Before McGloin has a chance to say this, isn't it odd that the car for Obama is half black?
24. Elmo - November 17, 2008 5:35 PM
*sings Low Rider*
bewp bewp bewp bewp bep bep bew
bew bew bew bew -boo
25. Daisy - November 17, 2008 5:44 PM
FAKE!!!!
Thats a complete photoshop job. You can tell its fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
If Max had this car in the movie Never Back Down baja probably would have gone out with him.
26. ratm - November 17, 2008 5:46 PM
wow, ugly.
27. Uncle Eccoli - November 17, 2008 6:18 PM
Anybody else think this is a bit excessive?
28. Leg3nd - November 17, 2008 6:38 PM
@12 Well, Seeing as how we're taking shots at his black half..What about his white half?....I'm sure he gonna want to have something to bump on that Alpine stereo of his. So I'm thinking The Who U2 maybe?
29. godiva - November 17, 2008 6:52 PM
THAT IS SO UGLY.
30. PLEEEZE! - November 17, 2008 8:09 PM
FAKE!!!!
Daisy's boobs are a complete photoshop job. You can tell they are fake because the squishyness is all wrong.
I bet that thing bumps! With windows five inches thick, you can put some SERIOUS subs in that beeotch!
31. PLEEEZE! - November 17, 2008 8:12 PM
@23
BAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...cough...hahaha..choke..hahaHA! In my estimation, Bill was blacker.
32. Eva - November 17, 2008 8:59 PM
HAHA! General Motors... General Mills... haha, that was funny!
33. Karan - November 17, 2008 10:14 PM
Ah did General Motors Buy Chrysler already? cause DODGE makes the 2500 Truck NOT GM .... Stupid retards learn to google.
34. poonhandler - November 18, 2008 2:30 AM
For all the fools who think it's ugly... this is a mule shot. The final car will most certainly be a uniform black.
35. butterbee - November 18, 2008 2:50 AM
This car is a giant step forward for Hardvard Law grauates in the US! Most other law school graduates have already been riding these too and from Secret Funzone for decades.
p.s. Cat's outta the bag!
36. Post a Comment - November 18, 2008 3:18 AM
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37. Comment a Post - November 18, 2008 3:24 AM
Better put Obama in a thicker glass (bottle) and throw him in the sea.
I hope America follows.
38. McGloin - November 18, 2008 7:37 AM
What ever it takes to keep MY new president safe. My, oh, my. How I do love that new president of mine! Long live Obama!
39. Nick Pollotta - November 18, 2008 7:41 AM
The tires have wide steel plates inside them. If the rubber is damaged, the vehicle can still roll on the steel plate. Doesn't even slow down.
There is very little that can stop one of these heavily augmented juggernauts.
40. www.fukt.com - November 18, 2008 8:25 AM
Big wheels rule!
Cadillac drools.
41. Loony Lovegood - November 18, 2008 8:27 AM
that thing must weigh a hundred tons
42. pojojuniper - November 18, 2008 8:49 AM
I think they should make it look a little more ghetto. You know, some bondo, key scratches, big-ass whomping speakers. It also reminds me of the car the aliens who abducted me were driving, right before they made me put on the bite-counting apparatus to wear while making fiber-optic wallpaper in the grays crystal-filled apartment.
43. Thumperchica - November 18, 2008 9:19 AM
@33 - You're a jackass, Chevy, GMC both have 1500, 2500HD, 3500HD model trucks. Speaking of google, go use it.
44. Thumperchica - November 18, 2008 9:28 AM
@28 - maybe some jazz fusion? Flip Flops, Jamba juice, and a driver named Buffy?
45. Jo Mama - November 18, 2008 10:44 AM
Bwahaa 40 some odd posts and I still get to be the 1st to say it!
BUBB RUBB SAYS, "PUT SOME WHISTLER TIPS ON THAT HO TRAIN" WooooooWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
46. Jo Mama - November 18, 2008 10:45 AM
... Sorry I meant to say "Hope Train"
47. Jo Mama - November 18, 2008 11:12 AM
And not to get toooo far off topic but does anyone else find it funny that the new black president got elected by begging for change?
48. DJ CJ - November 18, 2008 11:48 AM
"General Motors, best known for their delicious line of breakfast cereals" - LOL
49. enflamed - November 18, 2008 12:37 PM
@45 damn you the whole time i waas reading comments i was thinking whistle tips whistle tips. douchebag!
50. Hazums - November 18, 2008 6:08 PM
ugh hate the paint job, looks like two different cars got ductaped together
51. Really - November 19, 2008 3:13 PM
Oh wait, they forgot the 24 inch rims, 10 subwoofers, hydraulics, and kool-aid dispenser.
52. SVO - January 30, 2009 10:53 AM
If only you had any idea of what your talking about, which is absolutely NOTHING. Your a hacker writer w/no resources/research/or brain in your head. And to all you retards that don't recognize primer, yes that is primer you know that gray stuff-GM produced a top of line vehicle for our President-So called writer/bloggers like you give hack to the freedom of speech liberty we all share.
53. Limo hire - August 14, 2009 6:47 PM
That really is a limo, check my limos out then, l have a limo hire company in the UK.
54. seo company - August 14, 2009 6:50 PM
Hey this is one nice limo, when my seo company takes off, hopefully l can be chauffeured around in a limo just as nice.
55. chauffeurs - August 14, 2009 6:53 PM
I have many chauffeurs, and l know all of them would be proud to drive this limo.
56. public disgrace - November 7, 2009 3:49 AM
Looks like a cross between a Limo and a Hummer,.....a LUMMER.