Nov 30 2008Gay Penguins Steal Eggs From Straight Couples, Get Proposition 8'ed By Zoo
Two gay penguins at Polar Land in Harbin, China have been stealthily stealing eggs from straight couples and replacing them with rocks. Brilliant!
But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracized the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.
"One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite this being a biological impossibility for this couple, the natural desire is still there," a keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper."It's not discrimination. We have to fence them separately, otherwise the whole group will be disturbed during hatching time," he added.
Not discrimination my ass. Next thing you know the couple won't even be allowed to marry. Seriously, I have had it up to here *raising arm as high over head as possible* with this nonsense. Penguins are people too, you know? And wow, my pits smell like chili-dogs with lots of chopped onion. F***ing love those things. Gay penguins too. Pittsburgh, eh, not so much.
Gay penguins steal eggs from straight couples [telegraph]
Thanks to Matt, who allegedly saw a turtle threesome at the zoo once.
Reader Comments
1. GRAMMARNAZI - November 30, 2008 3:41 PM
"FLURST!!!!!!"
2. GRAMMARNAZI - November 30, 2008 3:44 PM
Personally, i'd rather look at some chicks photo-shopped ass then a bunch of gay penguins--call me crazy.
(no phone calls please)
3. Codfish - November 30, 2008 3:45 PM
SLECOND!!!!!!
4. Jimmy - November 30, 2008 3:58 PM
Holy crap! I didn't know gays could walk on water!
5. TNT - November 30, 2008 4:34 PM
i love how they have to say "it's not discrimination"...because they know that some dumbass GLBT group will actually complain about gay penguins being discriminated against, lmao
6. Lap - November 30, 2008 5:01 PM
gay penguins! Cutieieieeieee!
7. SlowMonkey - November 30, 2008 5:15 PM
I swear, gays have to cause a commotion some way or another, wherever.
8. SlowMonkey - November 30, 2008 5:16 PM
Oh, and they are busted gay looking too.
9. GRAMMARNAZI - November 30, 2008 5:18 PM
Who th' f*** is gonna' complain 'bout "gay penguin rights" besides other gay birds & Richard Simmons.
10. I had to... - November 30, 2008 5:26 PM
VOTE NO ON PROP H8!!!
hahaha
11. Daizy - November 30, 2008 5:29 PM
It's obvius phatoshopped works. I find that crezy and cheesy.
It's from movie "ever find back" when saily sex up michael.
12. Mr. Sausage - November 30, 2008 5:55 PM
Fancy that! Geekologie on a Sunday! Who'd've thunk it!
13. Hotrod - November 30, 2008 6:12 PM
#11 Best post ever.
14. Spider - November 30, 2008 6:15 PM
Of course! There can't be a post about something GAY because ppl start dishing out on ALL gays, PATHETIC!
15. Codrut - November 30, 2008 7:05 PM
fake fake fake, you can see it because the shadows are all rite? :||||||||||\ THEY SHOWED ME THE WAY MY MEMORY FEELS LIKE IT'S PLAYING WITH ME???
16. Depressed - November 30, 2008 8:46 PM
Oh no. Don't tell me you're a New England fan. Damnit, now I have to find a new blog to read. Eff.
17. Daisy - November 30, 2008 8:48 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is an obvious photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Ray shows Max some superhero outfits and he thinks they are all gay looking.
18. eron - November 30, 2008 9:10 PM
I has a penguin
19. ExZ - December 1, 2008 6:28 AM
Gay penguins are destroying family values, they are snatching the eggs and ruining familys.
20. CaptainJugglebug - December 1, 2008 6:43 AM
Awesome.
We had lesbian penguins in the zoo here...it was on the national news!
21. HellYessss - December 1, 2008 9:29 AM
@20
Too funny. How did the lesbo pengies express their love for each other? The world NEEDS to know this information. Wouldn't the beak hurt 8^0
22. Teo - December 1, 2008 12:00 PM
It's not discrimination, we're just forcing our view of normative behavior onto the penguin's natural behavior. The zookeepers are just adjusting the abnormality to provide a nice normal and sanitized experience for both penguins and the penguin watching public. It would hurt the world's brains and heart to know that complex social dynamics can happen in animal populations. It hurts the brains of bigots to know that homosexuality is a part of nature.
23. fax - December 1, 2008 12:32 PM
@22 LOL, and here I thought that two penguins mating, laying eggs, and raising their OWN young was the natural behavior. Now I know that it's just bigot zookeepers forcing their view of normative behavior onto them. They're also naturally monogamous. More social engineering? It is also natural behavior for penguins, upon losing a chick, to try to steal another penguin's chick. Gee, everything seems to be natural penguin behavior except for the whole problem of these two penguins trying to be like the others except for the whole "incompatible anatomy" thing. Something is out of place here. I wonder what the biological function of that is. You can't have it both ways.
24. big brown - December 1, 2008 2:48 PM
gay penguins he thats funny
25. Thumperchica - December 1, 2008 4:42 PM
Stealing eggs is so Ghey...
26. Right so um no - December 1, 2008 5:33 PM
This completely explains the whole Easter bunny thing, I always knew he was gay.
27. LOL@22 - December 1, 2008 10:02 PM
You all seem to forget that they're in captivity and nature can't necessarily play its role here. If everyone is so truly concerned about doing things as nature wanted wouldn't wildlife in captivity go against this? In nature if a penguin steals an egg there's probably a slim chance of the penguins whose egg was stolen to fight back to the penguins who stole the egg. Penguins in captivity simply aren't allowed to as nature created them to do on most basic levels. Ponder on this hun if this couple steals eggs, then wouldn't that put them at risk for getting hurt from other penguins? Why isn't then your "omg hate crime" alarm blaring off? Or would that simply be nature at work? Don't start using "nature this and nature that" if you're aren't able to accept it's double edged sword...
28. Ginormagantuan - December 2, 2008 9:40 AM
HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT NATURAL, Just becawse this sheet right heuh be hapenin in natur n' shit does not make it natural...... k'naam sayin' it's like this my nukuh' nahhmeen it's all like you got like the two shit stabber penguins n' shit you know an like all the other penguins be all like.... "EWW THAT NIGGA GAY AS HELL NIGGA" and then the gaay penguin be all like "OH WHY YOU GUYS LIKE THAT" AND THE OTHER PENGUIN BE ALL LIKE "DAMN NUKKA WHAT U MEN U PEOPLE? IS YOU RACIST MOHF***A?" then BLAT! pulls out his nine and shoots that gay ass nigga penguin.... hater ass mohf***a nah meen shoots that nigga right in his gay hed n' shit just like dat.
29. WHAT DID #28 SAY!? - December 4, 2008 2:15 AM
What!?