Dec 6 2008 Dude, Stop Boggarting The Stash: 2,700 Year Old Pot Found Buried In Gobi Desert Grave

Scientists unearthed two pounds of chronic in a Gobi Desert grave this week. The herb, which is believed to have been buried some 2,700 years ago, breaks the previous record for oldest marijuana stash by 2,700 years.

The size of seeds mixed in with the leaves, along with their color and other characteristics, indicate the marijuana came from a cultivated strain. Before the burial, someone had carefully picked out all of the male plant parts, which are less psychoactive, so Russo and his team believe there is little doubt as to why the cannabis was grown.

No shit there's little doubt why the cannabis was grown.

What is in question, however, is how the marijuana was administered, since no pipes or other objects associated with smoking were found in the grave.

Three words folks: up the ass. Try it sometime.

World's oldest marijuana stash totally busted [msnbc]

Thanks to Eric and Matty, who know to pass to the left.

Dec 6 2008 Yes Please: An A-10 Warthog Motorcycle

The A-10 Thunderbolt II (aka Warthog) is a plane that never fails to make me swoon. I don't know if it's the styling or the 30mm Gatling gun in it's mouth, but my god does that plane do something to me. And now the guys over at ICON Motorsports have gone and made an A-10 inspired motorcycle. Complete with 800-watt sound system, 8-inch LCD screen and minigun, the bike is clearly ready for combat. And by combat I obviously mean me in my "If you can read this, my bitch fell off" t-shirt.

Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups and a little artsy film ICON made for the bike.

Continue Reading " Yes Please: An A-10 Warthog Motorcycle "

Dec 5 2008 Stripper Robots Make Me Question My Life

As a vehement hater of all things robotic, these stripper-bots have me in quite the quandary. I freaking hate robots, but my god do I love some strippers. So, what's the deal -- should I hate them? Should I love them? Should I still tip? Haha, I never tipped in the first place!

Hit the jump for an older video of the pole-freaking robots at some concert. BBC video here.

Continue Reading " Stripper Robots Make Me Question My Life "

Dec 5 2008 U.K. Launches (Teddy) Bears To (Near) Space

The University of Cambridge, in cooperation with a bunch of school kids, ballooned four teddy bears to 30,000 meters. Because, I mean, why the hell not?

A helium balloon was used to get the bears up up and away flying to Near Space or the Edge of Space as it is known. The bears endured temperatures of minus 53 degrees on the three hour flight from Cambridge and all were returned safely to Earth.

The project was intended to "engage local schoolchildren in science and engineering" with young pupils making the Teddy-nauts' space-suits.

Oh yeah, making Teddy-naut suits, that's science and engineering for you. Let's see, the dumbass bear on the left doesn't even have a freaking helmet, so that poor bastard's long gone. And the one on the right....is that an inside out Doritos bag zip tied to his body? Wow. There was no good picture of the balloon they used, but we can only assume it was of the 'Get Well Soon' variety from the grocery store.

Photos of teddy bears in space [newslite]

Thanks to Charles, who once launched a polar bear into space with a single punch. The dude's strong.

Dec 5 2008 Wicked Awesome Original Mario Kart Song

First a real world Mario Kart video yesterday, and now a Mario Kart inspired emo song by Youtube user blinktwice4y. It's actually really freaking good. And it may or may not have made me cry. But if it did, it's only because I used to have that same Dirt Devil. :'(

Youtube

Thanks to Krista, who could kick my ass on Rainbow Road any day.

Dec 5 2008 Geekologie Reader Gets Credit For Spider

Geekologie reader Dustin got partial credit (2/5 points!) for pulling the ol' picture of a spider trick on an algebra test in college. Good looking, Dustin! It's just too bad your teacher's a dick -- I think we can all agree that spider's easily a 3-pointer.

Thanks again Dustin, may all your future math tests be arachnid-y.

Dec 5 2008 Ninja Turtle + Poodle = TMNToodle, WTFoodle, Wrong, Just Plain Wrong

Wow. That poor f***er.

And if you think Leonardoodle there has it rough, just hit the jump to see a UFOodle, Chickoodle, Peadoodle, Camoodle, and Dragoodle.

Continue Reading " Ninja Turtle + Poodle = TMNToodle, WTFoodle, Wrong, Just Plain Wrong "

Dec 4 2008 Annoy Coworkers With The Annoyatron 2.0

The Annoyatron 2.0 is a little gadget that makes annoying noises at random so you can drive a very special coworker to the point of stabbing you and/or stealing your lunch from the communal fridge. The sounds are as follows:

-15kHz (Mosquito tone) (full volume)
-Cricket chirping (medium/low volume)
-IM Doorbell (low volume)
-Grating Electronic noise (full volume)
-Typical Electronic Beep (medium volume)

Just hide the little board in somebody's office, don your stab-proof jacket, and wait for the insanity to set in! Don't have a stab-proof jacket? Well you're in luck -- I happen to be selling them! They may just look like garbage bags, but you have The Geekologie Writer's personal guarantee they are real garbage bags.

Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun [gizmodo]

Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't need an Annoyatron, because he's got warlock powers and shit.

Dec 4 2008 Red Shells: Guy Plays Mario Kart In Real Life

Some guy named Remi Gaillard decided it'd be a good idea to rock out with his go-kart out and play some Mario Kart in real life. This is the result. The graphics left a little something to be desired, but overall, awesome! Especially the *SPOILER ALERT* running away from the cops at the end. What -- don't blame me, you're the one that chose to read the spoiler before watching the movie. Jesus, exercise a little self control. Actually, just exercise a little period -- you look awful.

Youtube

Thanks to Tom, Jay, and Nicolas, any of which would have red-shelled that little bitch back to the NES.

Dec 4 2008 Kinda Tacky: Diamond Plate Foosball Table

Foosball: the sport of champions. And by champions I mean those who like to drink in dark, smoke-filled bars. Which I freaking rule at! *high-five* Whoa, watch the drink buddy. So yeah, a $1,200 foosball table with diamond plate accents. This thing is straight tacky as shit but might look okay in a garage. Provided it's in pieces. Under a big blue tarp. With bricks holding it down. Geekologie: helping not sell your company's products since 2006.

Product Page

Thanks to KXHone, who, along with yours truly, could school any of you mothers. Bring it!

Dec 4 2008 Geekologie Reader's Brother Makes Awesome Super Mario Inspired Gingerbread House

Loyal Geekologist Fally sent me a tip to show off the sweet-ass Super Mario gingerbread house her brother made with some friends. As you can see, it's freaking amazing. Certainly way better than anything I could ever make. And I'm not just saying that because I've never built a gingerbread house without it catching fire, but *BEEP BEEP BEEP* goddammit, not again.

Hit the jump for some closeups. Especially note the 'Super Mario Holiday' mosaic in the background, which was made out of individual candy pieces similar to the the Mario pushpin mosaic.

Continue Reading " Geekologie Reader's Brother Makes Awesome Super Mario Inspired Gingerbread House "

Dec 4 2008 Toby Jones Stores Your Stuff On The Cheap

God, I wish he offered a babysitting service too.

Youtube

Thanks to Jake, who's used Toby's services and swears they're legit. Well, as legit as $11 storage can be.

Dec 4 2008 Terrorist LEGO Minifigs Stir Controversy

I can't say that I'm surprised, but apparently people are taking offense to LEGO minifigs that have been modded (by BrickArms) to resemble terrorists and Nazis.

Mohammed Shaffiq of Muslim organisation The Ramadhan Foundation told The Sun the figures were 'absolutely disgusting'. He said: 'It is glorifying terrorism - the makers should be ashamed. We should be coming together to unite against terrorism but how is that possible when children are playing with toys like this?'

Last night the business's founder Will Chapman said: 'It's not my intention to glorify terrorism or Nazis - but kids love the bad guys. He added: 'I can see why people might get offended but that is not what I'm trying to do. We have sold thousands and thousands of them.'

He later added: 'CHA-CHING!'

When reached for comment, the Geekologie Writer had this to say about the figures: 'Finally, terrorists versus Nazis! PEW PEW.'

Hit the jump for a few more of the offensive minifigs.

Continue Reading " Terrorist LEGO Minifigs Stir Controversy "

Dec 3 2008 Mad Skills: Amazing Digital Art Techniques

This is a gallery of several different exemplary digital painting techniques (sorry, no Star Wars porn here). I posted 10 of my favorites out of the 52, so make sure to check out the full gallery for the others. Some of the stuff is seriously mind boggling. Granted, I personally could have done better in Microsoft Paint, but that's just because I'm the l337 photohaxor. Even with both hands tied behind my back. And ball-gagged. And some leather-clad dude beating the shit out of me with a riding crop. Oh yeah, that's the stuff. I'm gonna....oh....oh....PAINT BUCKET TOOL!

Hit the jump for a bunch more and a link to the gallery.

Continue Reading " Mad Skills: Amazing Digital Art Techniques "

Dec 3 2008 Look, I'm A Magician!: Levitating Water

Levitating water isn't actually levitating at all. In fact, the shit's just falling. Like rocks. Rocks of water. Did that just blow your mind? It only LOOKS like it's levitating due to sorcery and, quite possibly, a little witchcraft as well. Fine, strobe lights. Regardless, it's still pretty damn cool, and I would definitely drink from it. I'd drink it dry! Like a desert. No oasis here folks, just a guy spooning a camel. And speaking of Camels: Joe. Who else had a crush on him?

Youtube

Thanks to Melissa, who thinks levitation is weak sauce because she can fly. I just want X-ray vision.

Dec 3 2008 Wicked!: Vincent Van Gogh Counter-strike Map

As a guy who's been playing Counter-strike since the fall of 1999, I've shot many of you poor bastards in the head time and time again. What can I say, I am the l337. So anyway, cartographer Nipper went and make a wicked Vincent Van Gogh inspired board in which all the textures were made using Van Gogh paintings. It looks pretty freaking awesome. Hit the jump for a video walkthrough of the map, which features many of the scenes from his most famous paintings. Seriously, it's worth a look. I mean, Jesus, the dude cut his ear off and gave it to a whore. Now that's a present. Also, I embedded the video in high quality because I want to get in your pants.

Hit it like a headshot for the video.

Continue Reading " Wicked!: Vincent Van Gogh Counter-strike Map "

Dec 3 2008 Out Of This World Deliciousness: Space Beer

Mmmm, space beer. It's the stuff my sci-fi fantasies are made of. Well, that, and the aquamarine breasts of alien chicks. Well now fantasy and reality collide -- with honest-to-God space beer (sort of)!

The beer will be made with barley -- to be harvested this weekend -- descended from seeds that spent five months in 2006 aboard the International Space Station.

Sapporo isn't planning to sell the special brew, at least for now, and hasn't decided how it will distribute the planned 100 bottles, Matsumura said.

So far, scientists have not found any difference between space barley and the Earth-confined version, she said.

First of all, The Geekologie Writer clearly deserves a bottle. And secondly, have you tried the new beer on tap at the Mos Eisley Cantina? It's called PEW PEW Pilsner. BWAHAHHA HAHA! Han shot first! Whew *wiping tear* God I hate myself.

Japanese brewery to make beer from space barley [heraldtribune]

Thanks to Jumpin_J and Pat, who, for the tips, can each get a sip of my space brew. Backwash.

Dec 3 2008 Highly Questionable: Stoned Sesame Street

This is a Sesame Street ripoff featuring the Pot Cookie Monster. You know, because he loves pot cookies. Now as someone who's done several people's fair share of drugs in their life (do as I say kids, not as I do), I found it lacking. I question if the makers have ever actually made a GB out of a Mountain Dew 2-liter or eaten a peanut butter and mushroom sandwich. Just saying, I spoke to a parking cone for over an hour. Good people.

Youtube

Thanks to Hunter, who knows the magic's in the butter. And also, the hat. We're on to you Frosty!

Dec 3 2008 Time Cube Clock Is Rarely An Actual Cube

The $12 Cube Clock is shaped like a cube at noon and midnight but rotates to create all kinds of crazy-ass shapes in the interim. "The largest triangle is for displaying hours while the medium is for minutes and the small triangle on the edge represents seconds." At only $12, the clock makes a great stocking stuffer for Christmas. Alternatively, you could stuff it into the bottom of a sock and use it to beat off a would-be thief. Just trust me, you don't wanna use your hand.

Hit the jump for a couple pictures of the rotational fun!

Continue Reading " Time Cube Clock Is Rarely An Actual Cube "

Dec 3 2008 Platzhalter Bookshelf Has Room To Grow

The Platzhalter bookself expands in the middle as your literary collection does so you've got room to store all those delicious pages. Of course, you could just buy a bigger bookshelf. Or another one. Still, a clever idea, I'll give them that. And also, extra points for it turning into a giant V. And speaking of giant V's....I should probably just quit now while I'm ahead.

Platzhalter Bookshelf Splits To Store Extra Books [gizmodo]

Dec 3 2008 Okay: Sled Works In Winter AND Summer

The Ice Meister Slicer isn't only horribly named, it's also a monster piece of crap that costs $70. For a molded piece of plastic. Anyway, if I haven't (or the nozzle in the pictures hasn't) turned you off already, the sled is ride-able in both the winter AND summer. How? Look at the picture. It comes with two molds you fill with water and then freeze. Attach the blocks to the bottom of the sled, and TA-DA -- why's that kid wearing a helmet? He looks like my roommate the time he shat in the cat's litterbox. Which I may or may not have filmed. Rule 34 baby.

And, to get you in the holiday spirit:

Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?

Ice Meister Slicer lets you sled down hills all year [dvice]

Dec 2 2008 Happy Something! iPhone Has 10,000 Apps

The iPhone now has over 10,000 apps, and to celebrate, somebody made a mosaic. Not exactly how I celebrate (I get drunk as shit), but a little time in front of Photoshop works too. And speaking of iPhone apps, I have like four. Including, and pretty much limited to: rotary dialer, that maze game with the ball, Facebook, and AIM. And I may or may not have that ocarina app (I do). Oh snap, and the booby one. Maybe I'll get some more.

UPDATE: Okay, I got distracted and didn't get any new apps. Folks -- there is porn ON THE INTERNET!

iPhone Mosaic Celebrates 10,000 Apps and Counting [gizmodo]

Dec 2 2008 That's Cold!: Ice Sculpture Carving Fail

If there's one thing I love in life it's another person's misfortune. A close second is dessert. One time I was scarfing grimace proportions of peach pie a la mode in a restaurant and some guy tripped and busted his face open on the sidewalk. I whip creamed my pants. So this ice sculpture fiasco was a real treat. Of course, it helped that I was finishing off the last of the pumpkin pie while I watched. And taunting a bum with a half eaten turkey sandwich.

Note: The Geekologie Writer actually takes no pleasure in other people's misfortune. He is a caring and sensitive man-boy who volunteers at the local strip club and once saved a busload of schoolchildren from alligators because their teacher was hot. Did I mention he has a wang the size of Texas? Because he does. Unless that's too big, in which case it's one of the Carolinas (take your pick) but shaped like Florida (cooking accident). Laaadies?
Youtube
via
Failblog

Thanks to Colin, who once made love to an ice sculpture mermaid.

Dec 2 2008 'Tis The Season....To Crack Nuts?

With Jesus's b-day rapidly approaching, it's time to bust out the eggnog and nutcrackers and have a holly jolly boozefest. Am I right? And what sort of holiday spread is complete without nuts? Man, I freaking love nuts. Filberts, walnuts, pistachios, almonds, I gobble them all. And you know what they say about almonds don't you? Eight almonds a day, uh, keeps pederasts at bay? I don't actually know if they say that, but I'm gonna start. Anyway, this is a Star Wars nutcracker set available from Hammburgler Slumlordicus (that's two in one day!). 99 coconuts takes the whole set.

Darth Vader stands 10" tall and is draped in a vinyl cape, capped by his signature black helmet. He holds his red lightsaber and is decorated with details including vinyl boots, his breathing apparatus, and chest control unit. R2-D2 stands 7" tall displaying his handpainted circuitry; his anterior louvered vents conceal the "cracker." Master Jedi Yoda stands 7 1/2" tall with his walking stick and his humble burlap robe. Non-functional, they are for decorative purposes only.

Now wait just a long time ago minute! Non-functional? How hard is it to make the damn things functional? Isn't a nutcracker just a freaking hinge? WTF! I'll tell you what -- you just can't bust a nut like you used to. Wow, did I just go there? I did. I went there, I raged, I burnt the village down, I came back, got drunk again, lost a shoe, and puked in the other one. Now it's all mushy when I walk. And it stinks. But I'd still drink out of it. Hardcore. HARDCORE!

Product Page

Thanks to James and Allison, who can both crack nuts between their pinky and ring finger because they're from that same planet Superman is from. Krypton. They're from Krypton.

Dec 2 2008 Let's Play Dress Up!: Officially Licensed Gears Of War Armor Suits And Assault Rifles

This is an officially licensed Gears of War armor suit and Lancer assault rifle. They're made by Nightmare Armor Studios and probably cost a pretty penny. I couldn't actually find the price for the armor, but the Lancer alone will set you back 950 bones of your enemies. However, if you're poor, you can always make your own suit out of cardboard. Because that's what The Superficial Writer did. And I've gotta admit: the Locust Horde is gonna rape his ass.

Hit the jump for several more of the wickedness.

Continue Reading " Let's Play Dress Up!: Officially Licensed Gears Of War Armor Suits And Assault Rifles "

Dec 2 2008 PEW PEW: Star Wars Vs. Star Trek Mashup

This is a pretty well-made mashup of Star Wars and Star Trek. It's captain Jean-Luc Picard vs. Darth Vader in an epic space battle of galaxial proportions. It's definitely worth a view. The video is almost six minutes long though, so, depending on how your boss feels about you actually doing something awesome with your time, you may have to watch it at home. And for all of you that work in an organization where Youtube is blocked, well, you should quit. Tell your boss the Geekologie Writer told you to. And also, I slept with his wife. Or, if your boss is a woman, I slept with her. Ha, in her wildest dreams! Unless she's a fifty-something with a really deep voice and a tattoo of a rose on her thigh, in which case, damnit, I may have taken her home one night.

Youtube

Thanks to This Is Me Posting, whose name just made my head explode.

Dec 2 2008 Tokyoflash's Latest: Is That A Watch On Your Wrist Or Are You Just Happy To Tase Me?

Another day, another dollar. And also, a sweet new watch from Tokyoflash. The Ni is Tokyoflash's latest wristwear, straight from the streets of Japan (but not the subway -- no groping here folks).

Made entirely from stainless steel with a polished finish, Ni features crisp horizontal grooves on the face and strap giving the design a continuous appearance. The tapered edges where the case meets the strap ensure a neat finish.

Each LED on the lowest line indicates two hours, the line above indicates a single hour, a combination presenting the current hour. Groups of 10 minutes are presented on the centre line and single minutes on the upper two lines. The date can be read in a similar manner with second touch of the upper button.

Simple enough. The Ni is available now and sells for about $144. You can get it with blue, white, or multi-colored LEDs. Personally, I'm digging the blue. And also, a tunnel to China. I'm gonna ride in a rickshaw!

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.

Continue Reading " Tokyoflash's Latest: Is That A Watch On Your Wrist Or Are You Just Happy To Tase Me? "

Dec 2 2008 Mystical Fire Powder Turns Your Fire Different Colors, Is Probably Mad Carcinogenic

$2.29 will get you a 25 gram sachet of Mystical Fire Powder. What is Mystical Fire Powder? It's powder. That you toss in the fire. To make it all mystical and shit. Sorcery yo, sorcery. The stuff makes your fire burn with all sorts of crazy colors and will stunt your growth if you eat too much of it. But it's so good! If you're a cheapskate and don't want to drop a whole nine quarters and four Canadian pennies on the powder, I'll tell you what else makes fires turn cool colors: burning witches! And remember: a woman is every bit the witch you accuse her of being. Accuse often. Yelling helps. Also, brandishing a pitchfork and getting the townspeople riled up.

One more of a sweet blue flame after the ja-ja-ja-jump.

Continue Reading " Mystical Fire Powder Turns Your Fire Different Colors, Is Probably Mad Carcinogenic "

Dec 2 2008 Wait, What?: A Gas-Powered Snowboard

Hammacher Schlongmeister, purveyor of the utterly ridiculous, is selling a gas-powered snowboard this year. Because, you know -- shit, beats me.

This is the gas-powered vehicle that combines the thrill of riding a snowmobile and the freedom of a snowboard, enabling you to surf effortlessly over the deepest fresh powder or on packed, granular snow. Powered by a 6 1/2-hp four-cycle gasoline engine that starts with a pull, it can accommodate riders up to 250 lbs. and has a maximum speed of 18 mph, operating up to two hours on only 3/4-gallon of gasoline.

All that and it'll only set you back $2,000. They're practically giving them away! And as a guy who's broken his arm snowboarding, I've got to admit: two grand is a small price to pay to shatter it again. *CRUNCH* I can see the bone!

Gas-powered snowboard secures your dominance over nature [dvice]

Dec 1 2008 Yes Please!: A Sweet Chainsaw Bayonet

So I was out shooting the ol' shotgun the other day, and I thought to myself, "self, could blasting the hell out of this stump get any more awesome?" And the answer, dear reader, is yes, a chainsaw bayonet would have totally made it awesomer. PEW PEW, BRUUUM BRUUUM BR BR BRUUUM!! Oh yeah, that's the stuff. The stuff of boners.

Hit the jump to see a picture of the saw mounted on a shotgun, along with a video of a guy terrorizing pumpkins with the AR-15/saw combo. Fun for all ages!

Continue Reading " Yes Please!: A Sweet Chainsaw Bayonet "

Dec 1 2008 CONTEST: Win This Awesome Monty Python Box Set

Want to win the ridiculously awesome Monty Python Collector's Set shown above? Of course you do. The set features a 21-disc box set with four seasons of the series, two new-to-DVD documentaries, two live performances, and six "personal best" compilations. Just head on over to our sibling site I Watch Stuff for all the contest details.

Dec 1 2008 Man Teaches Robot To Play Pong, Robot Taunts Man, Man Foolishly Doesn't Kill Robot

Some fool went and taught a robot how to play Pong. Next thing you know, the crazy bastard will teach the archangel of the apocalypse how to play Donkey Kong, and from there, well, I think you can imagine what happens next. Hint: we all die. I must admit though, I did almost chuckle before pissing my pants when the robot taunted the guy. He says, "No, no, no, and no. You are a loser." Man, if I had a quarter for every time a girl's told me that, well, I could play pinball for decades.

Youtube

Thanks to Marc and Pedro, who could both school that robot at Pong then kick its head off and say something insulting about its mother (who I heard had sex with a Speak & Spell -- BURN!)

Dec 1 2008 Large Hadron Collider May Never Start Again

Well, that's a lie. Actually, no it's not. *brandishing crowbar* At least not if I have something say about it! Anyway, the LHC, which was thought to only be down until the spring, may not kill us all until late 2009, or even 2010. We're saved (but still be wary of terrorists)!

According to spokesperson James Gillies, the complicated repairs can be simplified into modest Plan A and Plan B approach.

Plan A is a quick and dirty fix, getting the particle accelerator online as quickly as possible (late summer 2009) at the cost of operating at lower power. In this scenario, 3 of 8 pressure relief-system segments are replaced (only the broken ones) with the other 5 getting upgraded at unsaid maintenance dates in the future.

Plan B is the more extensive but also more delayed approach, requiring the complete redesign and replacement of the LHC's entire pressure-relief system. Under this scenario, the LHC wouldn't go online until 2010 at the earliest, though at that time the system could operate at full power.

Well, looks like we're gonna have to find another way to destroy the planet in the meantime. Any ideas? I'm thinking good old fashioned CFCs. Or, alternatively, whip-its. Just remember: stop before the whipcream comes out. You squirt it, you buy it -- grocery store policy.

LHC Might Not Be Back Online Until 2010 or Later [gizmodo]

Thanks to Harrison, who promises to help me break into CERN and rollerskate around in the hallways.

Dec 1 2008 Meteor Fragments Found, Geekologie Writer Plans To Pilfer And Sell On eBay

Remember the meteor that PEW PEWed over Canada last week? Well a bunch of the fragments have finally been located by scientists. So what I'm going to do is grab one of the guys, beat the whereabouts of said fragments out of him, liberate the stones, and then sell those mothers on eBay for a hefty profit! It's the American way. In Canada. It's the Americanadian way!

U of C planetary scientist Dr. Alan Hildebrand and graduate student Ellen Milley announced Friday morning they located several meteorite fragments late Thursday afternoon. They believe thousands of meteorite bits are strewn over 20 square kilometers near the Battle River.

Friday afternoon, they led a group of reporters to the site -- a region called Buzzard Coulee, about 40 kilometres from Lloydminster Reporters were told those observations, combined with the physical evidence, give scientists a treasure trove of data that could give them a better understanding of the solar system.

Haha, I didn't have to beat up the scientist after all. Woops. Anyway, what is this about a better understanding of the solar system? I'll tell you everything you need to know about the solar system in three sentences: It's big. It has a bunch of shit in it, but it's all pretty spread out with lots of nothing in between. Sometimes stuff busts all up into earth's atmosphere and goes buck-ass wild in here. Seriously, just ask the dinosaurs. OH HO -- that's right, they're all dead! My God were they sexy though.

Meteorite pieces found in Saskatchewan [cbcnews]

Thanks to Larry, who made fun of me for crying during The Land Before Time. Also, Dan smells.

Dec 1 2008 Haha, I'm Rich!: Fiber Optic Placemats

The LumiTable table runner is made from woven fiber optic strands and glows while you dine in the dark. Available in a variety of hideous colors, each 63"x13" runner will set you back a costly $200, but is sure to get the neighbors talking. Talking about what a tacky freaking idiot you are. Seriously, the only people that eat in the dark are vampires. And if there's one thing I know about vampires, it's that I tried to stab myself to death with my nachos watching Twilight this weekend.

Luminous tablecloth adds an eerie glow to your dining experience [dvice]

Dec 1 2008 The Race Is On: To A Camera In Your Eye

Remember the story a few weeks ago of the artist woman that wanted a webcam installed in her eyeball? Well it turns out she may have been beat to the chase (and subsequent fall and eye gouging) by Steve Mann, who is *this close* to having the procedure done. Check out the Eyeborg blog for more info on Steve's quest to become part machine (and thus, a mortal enemy). There's even a really gross video of Steve getting his (already damaged) eye removed. Awesome! And by awesome I mean I just threw up cereal all over the keyboard! Cool! Not really! But kind of! Okay I'm mostly just grossed out! Can you tell the period key is stuck?

Eyeborg

Thanks to Arni, who had a camera installed in his ear but broke it with a Q-tip.

Dec 1 2008 The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls. Alternatively, Developing An Eating Disorder

Wow. Last week it was cooking with paste, and this week, actual balls. The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls is completely uncalled for and contains many delicious rocky mountain oyster recipes. An excerpt from the 'About The Author' section:

Ljubomir Erovic has been cooking testicles for over 20 years.

When not cooking or eating testicles, or helping others to do so, he now runs a company involved in the maintenance of medical and dental equipment.

He is married with one daughter and one testicle.

*HORF* When will the insanity end? I completely understand the "waste not, want not" mentality of using all possible edibles on an animal, but the balls? Those things weren't made for eating -- they were made for necklaces. BLING!

Hit the jump to see how to properly peel a testicle and a testicle pizza. Both of which will make you puke if you've eaten recently. Cheers!

Continue Reading " The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls. Alternatively, Developing An Eating Disorder "

Nov 30 2008 "Stack The Memory": A Nerdy Rap Song

"Stack the Memory" by the Sniper Twins is a geeky rap song about computers. I thought it was pretty humorous, and definitely worth a watch. The video was very well made too. And I'm not just saying that because the twins called to tell me they've got my dome lined up in their crosshairs even as I type. But they totally do so please call the authorities. And tell them to bring extra pants. Oooh, and nachos -- my tummy's rumbling.

Official Site

Thanks to Dax, one of the twins, for threatening to kill me.

Nov 30 2008 17,000 Push-Pin Super Mario 3 Mosiac

You know, sometimes you come across something that really makes you appreciate human ingenuity and dedication to a project. This isn't one of those.

What you're looking at it is a 17,000 push-pin mosaic mural, a product of three revisions and a total of two and a half semesters of work. The final revision took a whopping two months of work by the CIS Student Association at the University of the Fraser Valley, and it's currently sitting in the Student Computing Center over there.

17,000 push-pins, wow -- impressive work! And, whether you like the piece or not, I think we can all agree that these kids should be expelled for ganking office supplies.

Hit the jump for several more of the craziness (including an in-progress shot), along with a link to the Flickr gallery.

Continue Reading " 17,000 Push-Pin Super Mario 3 Mosiac "

Nov 30 2008 Gay Penguins Steal Eggs From Straight Couples, Get Proposition 8'ed By Zoo

Two gay penguins at Polar Land in Harbin, China have been stealthily stealing eggs from straight couples and replacing them with rocks. Brilliant!

But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracized the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.

"One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite this being a biological impossibility for this couple, the natural desire is still there," a keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper.

"It's not discrimination. We have to fence them separately, otherwise the whole group will be disturbed during hatching time," he added.

Not discrimination my ass. Next thing you know the couple won't even be allowed to marry. Seriously, I have had it up to here *raising arm as high over head as possible* with this nonsense. Penguins are people too, you know? And wow, my pits smell like chili-dogs with lots of chopped onion. F***ing love those things. Gay penguins too. Pittsburgh, eh, not so much.

Gay penguins steal eggs from straight couples [telegraph]

Thanks to Matt, who allegedly saw a turtle threesome at the zoo once.

Nov 30 2008 Christmas Came Early This Year (And You Might Too): Gen¹³ Caitlin Fairchild Cosplay

As the angel of holiday cheer, I felt obligated to post these pictures of some chick cosplaying it up as Caitlin Fairchild from the Gen¹³ comic book series. Honestly, I had no idea who Caitlin was, but now I can safely say that her image is burnt into my retinas. Literally, I used a coat hanger and butane lighter. Hit the jump for three more pics, all of which are significantly cheekier than this one. You catch my drift? I'm talking about her ass -- her ass is hanging out.

Hit it, you want to.

Continue Reading " Christmas Came Early This Year (And You Might Too): Gen¹³ Caitlin Fairchild Cosplay "