Nov 14 2008 What If?: The Matrix Ran On Windows

Is this is what would have happened if the Matrix ran on Windows? I dunno, maybe. But the real question is this: what if the Matrix ran on ethanol? If you answered "we'd be drinking buddies," you are correct.

The Matrix Runs On Windows [collegehumor]

Thanks to Jen, who once went down the rabbit hole and found herself in Wonderland. Remember, Jen, what the dormouse said: "FEED YOUR HEAD! FEED your head!"

Nov 14 2008 First Peek At Another Planetary System!

That's right folks, this is the first photo (I have no idea what this was then), taken by the Hubble Space Telescope, of a planet orbiting another star. "[The picture] shows a planet orbiting the bright southern star Fomalhaut, located 25 light-years away in the constellation Piscis Australis." Hit the jump for another pictures of a planetary system 130 light-years away. That Hubble must have some camera! And, wait a minute -- THAT'S NOT A PLANET, THAT'S THE EYE OF SAURON! We're all dead! But, before I go, where'd that sexy little Gollum run off to?

Hit it for a couple more photos.

Continue Reading " First Peek At Another Planetary System! "

Nov 14 2008 Kami Kami Bite Counter Helps Ensure Proper Chewing. OMG, I Wore Headgear As A Child

It's weird the things you block out from your childhood. Like wearing headgear or touching a friend's penis. The Kami Kami Sensor counts how many bites a child makes (to ensure proper chewing), and beeps to notify every 30 and 1,000 bites. It's available now for $189 and I just bought one. Finally, a definitive answer to how many licks it takes to get the the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop! One, two, three *CRUNCH*. Three! And two chipped teeth. Oh shit, and a cavity.

Kami Kami Sensor counts your bites while scaring away friends [dvice]

Nov 14 2008 It's Beautiful!: A Crystal (Meth) Apartment

Roger Hoirn is an artist. An artist that grows crystals on things. Because that's what floats his boat -- crystals. I like turtles. Roger was able to grow copper-sulfate crystals on every possible surface of an apartment. How?

The answer is simple and at the same time remarkably difficult to achieve on this scale. Anyone who has had a chemistry lesson knows how you grow copper-sulfate crystals: make a supersaturated solution by dissolving lots of them in hot water, then, as it cools, they recrystalize, growing on whatever you dangle in the solution.

He sealed a ground-floor flat - turning it into a huge tank - and filled it with 75,000 liters of hot, supersaturated copper-sulfate solution, poured in through holes in the floor of the flat above. Then he waited for it to cool, pumped out the remaining liquid and broke back into the sealed flat to see what had happened. It had worked.

Cool. And by cool I mean you can freaking forget about your security deposit.

Hit the jump for another picture and worthwhile video.

Continue Reading " It's Beautiful!: A Crystal (Meth) Apartment "

Nov 14 2008 FAKE!: Guy Loses His Cool In Hotel

There are few joys in life like laughing at some poor bastard's misfortune. Which is why I loved this video so much. Unfortunately, it's fake and actually an ad for Cisco's Integrated Communications or some such poppycock. I know, major letdown. It's still worth a viewing though. I mean, it's Friday and you've already started drinking. You have already started drinking, right? Come on, have a couple cocktails with me. They'll make lunch taste that much better!

Youtube

Thanks to Mike, who once blew up in line at Target. Nobody survived.

Nov 13 2008 Good Idea!: Man Submits Drawing Of Spider Instead Of Payment For Overdue Account

David Thorne didn't have the $233.95 to pay an overdue account. So what did he do? What any other budding young genius would do, he submitted a picture of a spider he drew instead. Unfortunately, Jane Gilles, who is clearly a mega-bitch to the nth degree, wouldn't accept it. So what happened next? Hit the jump to find out. But I'll give you a hint: time travel! And also, David's account not getting paid.

You really want to read the rest, so hit it.

EDIT: Here's the original page which provides a little more info.

Continue Reading " Good Idea!: Man Submits Drawing Of Spider Instead Of Payment For Overdue Account "

Nov 13 2008 Light Up And Wall Out: Fiber Optic Wallpaper

We've seen light-emitting wallpaper in the past, but that was just conceptual. This fiber optic wallpaper is actually available. Like today, if you have $231 to blow on a roll. There are several color options, but it looks like you're limited to flowers as far as the design goes. Not that anybody even uses wallpaper anymore. Except me. Now call me old fashioned but, WHAT THE....my typewriter screen just went out.

Hit the jump for another picture with blue/white light.

Continue Reading " Light Up And Wall Out: Fiber Optic Wallpaper "

Nov 13 2008 Live Streaming Puppy Video: What The Interweb Was Built For (No, Not Porn)

This is a litter of Shiba Inu puppies brought to you in live, streaming video. Why? Because they're cute and I want one (the one in the yellow collar). Porn aside, this is clearly what the interweb was built for. So I can lie here on the couch and watch a gaggle of puppies , without fear of shit on my own carpet. You know, sometimes life isn't so bad after all. Oh my god my yellow one is running in his sleep! Precious. Now the green one bit the red one to wake him up! I think I'm gonna cry.

Shiba Inu Puppy Cam

Thanks Heather. This is, in fact, the cutest thing I've seen all day.

Nov 13 2008 Now You Can Get That 'Whee, I'm Popping Edamame!' Feeling Wherever You Go

Love edamame? Have no idea what edamame is? They're soybean pods. And the beans inside are delicious. Mmmm, soybeans, mmmm. Half the fun of eating them is kicking the scrumptious little bastards out of their pod home. Pop! Now you can get that feeling anywhere thanks to Bandai's Puni Puni Edamame keychain. The $6 gadget gives you that satisfaction of evicting soybeans whenever you want. Each bean has a different face on it, so you'll never get bored because each pod will contain three different faces! That's a lot of entertainment. For six dollars. Also, it says you're not supposed to eat them but I did anyways. I'm growing a bean plant in my tummy!

Hit the jump for a disturbing promotional picture featuring a guy with streamers coming out of his eyes, and two videos. Of which you should at least watch the first, so you can see all the fun to be had.

Continue Reading " Now You Can Get That 'Whee, I'm Popping Edamame!' Feeling Wherever You Go "

Nov 13 2008 Styrofoam Gundam Looks Styrofoamy, Tasty

This is a Gundam-esque robot made out of recycled styrofoam packaging. Thankfully, I'm not that afraid of him because I'm pretty confident I could karate chop right through his ass. HI-YA!

Holy shit, he broke my arm. Quick, a lighter!

UPDATE: Mmmm, I love the smell of *cough* burning styrofoam in the morning. Smells like *cough*....cancer.

Recycled Styrofoam Gundam Robot [dinosaursandrobots]

Thanks to Stephanie, who knows the only good robot is one made of packaging peanuts. Or macaroni.

Nov 13 2008 A Peek At The Terminator Salvation Bike

Allegedly this is the 'Moto-Terminator' bike set to appear in next year's Terminator Salvation featuring Christian Bale and Dick Dragon.

Production director Martin Laing was responsible for envisioning some of the near-future killing devices, and has created (among a lot of other scary looking metal) this Moto-Terminator motorcycle. The bike seems to be the chilling Terminator character we know and love in motorcycle form (note the signature red "eyes"), replete with plenty of new mean toys attached.

ZOMG, the Terminator as a motorcycle. What will they think of next?

A: Transformers.

'Moto-Terminator' Bike Coming to Terminator Salvation [nextautos]

Thanks to Jordon, who once fell off the back of a motorcycle and into a homeless bag-lady's heart.

Nov 13 2008 For The Ladies Everyone: A Makeup Fridge

Korean manufacturer IDOCI is releasing a small refrigerator specifically designed for storing cosmetics. The unit will keep eyeliner, blush, rouge, lipstick, war paint, and fake blood in "the ideal 8 - 12 degree Celsius (46 - 53 Fahrenheit) range." Not only that, each fridge has an interior light. So you can see the shit inside! No word on price, but they do come in a ton of different colors. Which, if you're actually considering a fridge for your makeup, is probably far more important than cost.

Hit the jump for color options!

Continue Reading " For The Ladies Everyone: A Makeup Fridge "

Nov 12 2008 Mayor of Turkish City 'Batman' Is Suing Christopher Nolan And Warner Brothers

Huseyin Kalkan, the mayor of Batman, Turkey, is suing (director) Christopher Nolan and Warner Brothers for using the name of the city in The Dark Knight without his permission. In other news, Batman may have elected a retarded mayor. And should totally sue this little twerp.

"There is only one Batman in the world," Kalkan said. "The American producers used the name of our city without informing us."

Kalkan claims he has evidence, which will show the city of Batman was founded before the 1939 debut of Bob Kane's DC Comics superhero by the same name.

Wow. Just wow. It all makes sense now. I mean, Batman, Turkey is like the crime-fighting capital I've never heard of. Why has this been a non-issue for the past 70 years? Simple -- stupid mayors. Somebody send that city a big bag full of cash, pronto.

Christopher Nolan being sued by Batman [msnbc]

Thanks to Morrocco Mole, Marc, and Adam, governors of The Riddler, Penguin, and Mr. Freeze, respectively.

Nov 12 2008 Sharpie Lamborghini For Sale on eBay

Remember the Sharpie Lamborghini posted a couple months ago? Well it's back, and this time on eBay. That's right folks, for the low, low price of somewhere between $255,000 and $289,950, this marvel of modern drawing techniques can be yours.

This is a 'ONE OF A KIND ' Gallardo Coupe: The car has been featured on MTV 'My sweet 16 with 'Timbaland'. This car is the most Famous Gallardo ever made for the U.S. market. It took over 1000 hours of art work done by hand to complete this incredible masterpiece. This car is still on M.S.O. so you would be the first owner if you win the auction.

So, which one of you readers is gonna buy it? And, when you do, will you take me for a spin? Gas, grass, or ass, nobody rides for free -- I live by that creed. *wink* Ass.

Hit the jump for several more pictures and a link to the auction.

Continue Reading " Sharpie Lamborghini For Sale on eBay "

Nov 12 2008 And You Thought I Was Kidding -- Well, I Wasn't: Jules The Scary-Faced Robot Openly Discusses Destroying The Human Race

We're all dead. This is Jules, a robot head created to make the most realistic facial expressions possible, talking about destroying humanity. The really disturbing part is that some sick f*** actually programmed him to say this shit. So yeah, we're gonna need two bullets.

Youtube

Thanks Jeff, Scanner Erik, Marcus, and Uncle Eccoli, you owe me a new pair of pants.

Nov 12 2008 Best Buy Gift Card Doubles As Speaker, Target Gift Card Doubles As Digital Camera, Geekologie Writer Doubles As Your Father

Reader, I am your father. And you can tell your mother I'm not paying her shit, she's been bleeding me dry for long enough. But I'll still send you a gift card for Christmas, you know, because I love you. And also, if you grow up to play a professional sport, I want you to remember your dear old dad. Anyway, Best Buy and Target are taking a different approach to gift cards this year. By making them both gift card AND present. That's right, the Best Buy card doubles as a speaker, complete with mini-headphone jack, and the Target one is actually a 1.3 megapixel, 8MB digital camera. You ever redeemed a giftcard with pictures of your genitals on it? No? Then you haven't lived. Unfortunately, you have to buy at least $50 cards to get the cool ones. So yeah, there goes my $5 surround sound system.

Hit the jump for a shot of the camera card.

Continue Reading " Best Buy Gift Card Doubles As Speaker, Target Gift Card Doubles As Digital Camera, Geekologie Writer Doubles As Your Father "

Nov 12 2008 WMDs: Death By Great Flaming Balls

So the Pentagon is employing a new weapon in the fight against WMDs. Namely, giant flaming balls (aka rocket balls).

These are hollow spheres, made of rubberized rocket fuel; when ignited, they propel themselves around at random at high speed, bouncing off the walls and breaking through doors, turning the entire building into an inferno. The makers call them "kinetic fireball incendiaries." The Pentagon doesn't want to talk about them, but published documents show that the fireballs have undergone tests on underground bunkers.

WTF!? Suffice it to say the Indiana Jones franchise would have ended 15 minutes into Raiders of the Lost Ark if the ancient Peruvians had employed a rocket ball instead of a giant freaking rock.

Click the article for a much longer explanation of the the weapons.

Secret Rocket Balls Target WMD Bunkers [wired]

Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who even giant flaming balls can't kill.

Nov 12 2008 Heat Sensitive Pillows Change Colors, Whee!

The Please Touch Pillow wants you to touch in -- in a bad way. So it can change colors! They cost $160 and are made by witches. The more you wash them the less color changing they get, until, eventually, they're just regular pillows you paid $160 for. Now there was something else I was going to say, what was it? Oh right, I had a Hypercolor shirt 20 years ago! Sucketh thine, Please Touch Pillow -- I shalt not fondle thee!

Please Touch Pillow [outblush]

Thanks again to RyanThePerson, who may or may not be RyanThePillowFondler behind closed doors.

Nov 12 2008 Finally, Some Research I Can Get Behind -- And Drink!: Students Aim To Help Prevent Cancer With Delicious, Refreshing Beer

Students at Rice University are using genetic engineering to develop a beer that contains resveratrol and may help prevent cancer.

BioBeer, as it's called, has three genes spliced into special brewer's yeast that produce resveratrol, the chemical in red wine that is thought to protect against diabetes, cancer, Alzheimer's and other age-related conditions.

The only problem, from the students' perspective, is that many of them aren't old enough to legally consume their creation.

Ha -- too young to drink! Maybe you could ask some seniors to go buy you a six-pack of Zima. Just kidding. But yes, that's a picture of my brother and I playing 24-hands a couple weekends ago. We would have played with 40's but my brother (on the left) weighs 135 pounds and 80 ounces of malt liquor would probably kill him. So, yeah, next time. But cheers to being cancer free! And also, somebody help get this tape off my hands.

'Bio-Beer' Designed to Extend Life [discovery]

Thanks to Phil and Pat, who actually play keg hands because they're that hardcore.

Nov 12 2008 Sexy Animal Crackers Fetch $7.25 On eBay

A bull and donkey were caught mid-coitus in a bowl of animal crackers by some guy's wife. And, like a Virgin Mary pork rind, it ended up on eBay.

As you can see from the pictures, What we have here is a bull making sweet, sweet love to a donkey. (too bad it isn't an elephant---it would make a great political piece!) My wife pulled this out of a bowl of animal crackers a few weeks ago. I have been storing it in an air-tight bag since! The cracker was baked like this!!! No foul play!

No foul play my ass! That poor donkey. I think they're stuck together. Seriously though, who knew crackers could be so sexy? Just imagine cookies! *rolling out dough* Anybody have dinosaur cookie cutters?

eBay Auction

Thanks to RyanThePerson, not to be confused with RyanTheAnimalCracker.

Nov 12 2008 It's The Future!: Gmail, Now With Video Chat

Truthfully, I only use Gmail and Gmail chat to communicate with two select individuals (you know who you are). But now, thanks to the marvel of modern technology, we can talk it up with streaming video. Oh happy day! You ever videochat with a blogger that's only left bed to let the dog out and eat three bowls of cereal? And on a side note: did that just make your loins tingle? Because it did mine. Just kidding, bed bugs.

Gmail gets voice and video chat capabilities [dvice]

Nov 11 2008 Help A Virgin Devirginize!: Actually, Nevermind

Nobody has helped me devirginize, so why should I help anybody else? Gotta look out for numero uno, if you know what I mean. I'm gonna touch a boob yet. Anyway, some poor schmuck allegedly has a lady friend that will have sex with him if his website gets 5 million unique hits by New Years (just get a hook already you cheap bastard). Which, since he was only at 84,939 the last time I checked, probably isn't going to happen. How do I know? Click the link to his page to find out.

Help a Virgin

Haha, f*** you buddy!

Thanks to "this is not my site, I am happily sexed up" Brad, for rubbing that in my face.
Real site here if you really want to help the undeserving bastard.

Nov 11 2008 Get That 'Peeling A Banana' Feeling Anytime!

In the same vein as the bubble wrap popper and envelope ripper, comes the banana peeler, a device that gives its user the sensation of peeling a banana, complete with sound effects. The Dazzling Banana will cost six coconuts when it hits stores in Japan next March. Sadly it isn't edible (although I'll still sure as as hell try). While six pineapples isn't bad, but what's so fun about peeling bananas? I prefer my bananas pre-peeled. Now mush you stupid monkeys, MUSH!

UPDATE: It was brought to my attention that calling monkeys stupid doesn't do justice to their keen intellect. So, my little banana peeling minions, I apologize. Now put the turds down, and nobody gets tazed.

Dazzling Banana an electronic Banana peeler [newlaunches]

Thanks to Richthegringo, who has a banana in his pocket. If that's a good thing -- if not, it's a wad of cash.

Nov 11 2008 WTF?: Toyota Corolla Ninja Cat Commercial

This is allegedly a television ad for the new Toyota Corolla. It has a bunch of weird ninja cats in it and doesn't make an ATM lick of sense. And then, to make matters worse, one of the ninja cats steals a car at the end. Now what is this teaching the nation's cat population? Whatever it is, it can't be -- WHISKERS, NO! AWAY FROM THE....*tires squealing* Goddamnit, thanks a lot Toyota.

Youtube

Thanks to Jaybone the Hispanic Dude from Greenpoint who may or may not be a ninja cat simply going by Jaybone the Hispanic Dude from Greenpoint.

Nov 11 2008 Design Contest Mimobot Flash Drives

Mimoco, the company best known for making cute USB drives (particularly the Star Wars series), recently held a contest in which fans were encouraged to design their own Mimobot and submit them for voting. Well the ballots were cast, and these are (five of the) six winners, each made into a real Mimobot. Available in 1, 2, 4 and 8GB capacities, they'll set you back $25, $35, $50 or $80, respectively. I really want the Russian Cosmonaut myself. And not just because I'm building a rocketship and blasting off to the moon (although I totally am). Nope, I'm just a man that loves good Russian vodka. You ever broken the top off a bottle so you have to finish the whole thing in one sitting? Mmmm, something about the broken glass really makes your stomach bleed.

Product Site

Nov 11 2008 Fire: Set Your Wrist Ablaze! (Metaphorically)

Tokyoflash is back at it, this time with their new Fire design.

Created from a fusion of plastics carefully wrapped around a solid, seamless sheet of highly polished stainless steel, Tokyoflash Fire features a new formation of multi-colored LEDs and is a lightweight design, built to last.

Each hole, with two LEDs beneath the surface represents one unit of time. Yellow LEDs indicate hours 1-12, red LEDs indicate groups of 10 minutes and green LEDs indicate single minutes 1-9.

So it's a fairly easy to read model too. Go ahead -- test yourself on the watch in the picture. Did you get it right? If so, pat yourself on the back. If not, put your helmet back on, your mommy's probably worried about you. The Fire is available now for about $130 and makes the perfect Christmas gift for the person who has everything -- particularly wrists.

UPDATE: F*** it, kankles work too.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a link to the product page.

Continue Reading " Fire: Set Your Wrist Ablaze! (Metaphorically) "

Nov 11 2008 Sure, Why Not: A New, Flatter Lightbulb

Korean designer Joonhuyn Kim came up with a novel improvement for lightbulbs -- making them flatter!

unlike ordinary bulbs its volume is 1/3 smaller, reducing the cost of packaging and transport. its slim shape allows bulbs to be easily stacked and prevents breakage as it does not roll.

Sweet. But as a guy who's smoked crack thinking it was something else, a word of advice: you catch yourself freebasing out of a lightbulb and it's time to reevaluate your life. Or admit you're a crackhead.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.

Continue Reading " Sure, Why Not: A New, Flatter Lightbulb "

Nov 11 2008 Fake! Shadows Are Too Perfect, This Is From The Summer Blockbuster Never Back Down From Beating A Dead Horse: Real Life Photoshop

This is what Photoshop would look like in real life. If you think it's fake you can go this Flickr gallery to see its construction, then suck it. And if you think it's from the scene in Never Back Down where The Geekologie Writer stabs a commenter through their monitor, well, I can make that happen.

What Photoshop Would Look Like in Real Life [gizmodo]

Thanks to Harrison and Roberto, who are neither fake nor from a stupid freaking movie.

Nov 10 2008 Thanks A Lot Big Guy, All I Got Was An Extra Tooth: God Gives Man 260-Horsepower

Allegedly Allah gave Sayyed Muhammad Ahmad Abdallah the power of 260 horses, roughly the equivalent of 30,000 men. He has been married 24 times, fathered 35 children, and can bend coins with his eye socket and rip them with his hands. WTF! He has to have sex with his 4 current wives at least 15 times a day (in total) and can't shake hands with someone without breaking all their fingers. Needless to say, masturbating is completely out of the question.

Youtube

Thanks to Ian, who God actually gave 330-horsepower -- and leather seats.

Nov 10 2008 Why Am I Not Surprised?: An R2-D2 Aquarium

He's been steampunkified, LEGOfied, made into cakes, a fridge, a USB hub, a home theater system, a trashcan (surprise, surprise), a computer case, and even a beanie, and now, in his latest incarnation, it's R2-D2 as an aquarium. The $129 aquatic habitat is sold by Hammacher Schlemmer and has a 1.75-gallon capacity. "R2's eye-piece even works as a periscope so you can get an up close look at your little buddies while they meander around." Then, you can eat them. Mmmm, fish sticks!

R2-D2 aquarium [crunchgear]

Thanks to Hunter, who had a birthday last week and is finally old enough to legally kick ass.

Nov 10 2008 Dance Dance Revolution Musical Coming Out

So, yeah, there's a musical based on Dance Dance Revolution coming out. Why? Because it's the end of the world as we know it, that's why.

It's set in an Orwellian society where a dance prophet named Moonbeam Funk helps dancing youth gangs rebel against a fascist government. The company working on the show describes it as "like Footloose set in the future -- but kind of scarier, and with 40 really attractive, barely-clothed young actors and buckets of free beer."

Wait, is that free beer for the audience? Because I can sit through a lot for a free bucket of free beer. Including, but not limited to, karaoke, and a horrible play based on a video game. And yes, I Photoshopped Zac Efron into the picture for The Superficial Writer. Dude sings that High School Musical bullshit all day long. Damnit, hold on. *leaning over cube wall* SHUT THE FUCK UP!

DDR, The Long Overdue Musical Version [kotaku]

Thanks to Jen, who could dance your ass off. And also, out-costume you.

Nov 10 2008 World's Largest Piñata Sadly Not Filled With Thousands Of Airplane Bottles (BOOO!)

The world's largest piñata was recently constructed and displayed in Philadephia, PA as part of a publicity stunt and commercial for Carnival Cruise Lines. "The donkey was 28.5 meters (94′) long, 7.2 meters (24′) wide and 18 (60′) meters tall and fill with 3,628 lbs of candy. (8,000lbs)." Carnival got the crowd riled up by promising to bust the monster ass open with a giant wrecking ball, but never did. Which is pretty freaking disappointing. And you know what else is? That it wasn't filled with cars. Lamest. Fiesta. Ever.

Hit the jump for one more picture.

Continue Reading " World's Largest Piñata Sadly Not Filled With Thousands Of Airplane Bottles (BOOO!) "

Nov 10 2008 A Darth Vader Toaster: Dark Side That Bread

This $55 Star Wars toaster burns a perfect Vader face into each and ever slice of delicious multi-grain bread (not included) and is available for pre-order even as I type (ships in January).

If there's something every Sith Lord knows how to do it's make a balanced breakfast. While the Jedi have to live off of Jawa juice and fried nerfsteak, the Dark Lord of the Sith prefers to have a reminder of his fiery Mustafar defeat at his breakfast table. Every morning he burns that moment into a slice of bread with the Darth Vader Toaster. This black, ominous kitchen appliance easily leaves the mark of Vader's helmet in every yummy piece of toast. Slather some Bantha butter on top, or make two pieces for an extra-Sithy BLT. Force power not required to operate toaster.

A Darth Vader face in your toast is cool and all, but I can think of plenty of other things I'd rather have burnt into my toast. Namely butter and jam. ZOMG I'm gonna be rich!

Product Site

Thanks to Romeo, who can burn whatever he wants onto his toast because he has laser eyes.

Nov 10 2008 Not Just A Pretty (Reflected) Face: An Interactive, Touch-Sensitive Mirror

It's a mirror. It's interactive. It's an interactive mirror. You can touch it to paint pictures and manipulate text. "Conceptualized by Alpay Kasal of Lit Studios and Sam Ewen of Interference Inc. This is a patent pending touch capable mirror." Now I'm not sure about the practical applications of such a reflectionary device, but hey, who said anything about practicality? If I wanna do my hair and browse recipes at the same time, that's my God-given right. Kidding ladies, that one's yours.

JOKING!

Youtube

Thanks to Brooke, who probably wishes she hadn't sent this and now thinks I'm a racist.

Nov 10 2008 It's About Time!: A Comfy Computer Chair

While this was originally designed as a barstool for kilt-wearing Scots, I think we can all agree it doubles as the world's most ergonomic computer chair. It even has an ashtray for cigars!

Scottish Bar Stool (for Kilts) [imagef1]

Thanks to Ubergeek85, 85th in line for the the throne.

Nov 10 2008 What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Everything): World's Largest Truck Going Robotic

A group of sickos at Carnegie Mellon have decided to automate the world's largest truck, a 3,550-horsepower, 700-ton behemoth designed to haul 240-ton loads.

Autonomous vehicle technology is pretty much in its infancy," said Tony Stentz, a professor at CMU involved in the project. Stentz expects that over the next five to 10 years, the technology will expand to areas beyond mining, eventually finding its way into consumer cars and trucks.

Autonomous vehicle technology. Really has a ring to it, doesn't it? No, it doesn't -- and anybody that answered yes is a robot sympathizer and officially on the FU-BOTS shit list. Seriously, this is bad news. You know what happens when a 700-ton robot truck gets road rage?

A: Everybody dies.

World's Largest Truck Goes Robotic [discovery]

Thanks to Hayden, who gets a free membership to FU-BOTS for finding this as scary as I do.

Nov 9 2008 Microsoft Running Slave Camp In China (J/K Microsoft, Please Keep Advertising With Us)

Microsoft bought a bus and now offers free transportation to and from work for some of its employees in China. The only catch? You have to sit at a workstation. Good if you like reading email and catching up on the day's news, bad if there's a sweaty man with a whip behind you demanding productivity. Seriously, the last thing I want to do on the way to work is work. If I found myself having to blog in the car I'd drive straight off a bridge -- and into your heart! Here, I got you a promise ring.

Microsoft turns a bus into a mobile office [dvice]

Nov 9 2008 eBay: Questionable Star Wars Iron-On Decal

Always wanted an iron-on decal of C-3PO distracting R2 while he wipes his golden dipstick across his diminutive friend's neck? Now's your chance! Bidding starts at $0.01 with $2.99 shipping.

- The size of this transfer is about 4 x 5 inches.

- Works on 100% cotton or polyester blend fabrics, such as T-shirts, caps, bags, pillowcases or mouse pads, just be creative and let your imagination run wild.
- Homoerotic, and roboerotic.

Remember: BEEPITY BOOP BEEP = No means no.

eBay Auction

Thanks to James, who, even drunk, has never tried to stick it to a trashcan.

Nov 9 2008 Yes Please: A Zelda Themed Belt Buckle

I love Zelda. I eat that shit up like week-old Halloween candy. Or spaghetti. Except The Adventure of Link, they made that last Palace far too hard for a 6-year old. Or a 20-something. Seriously, eff that thing. Anyway, this is a $20 officially licensed Zelda belt buckle. It's Zelda's crest if you couldn't tell, and I bought two. One for my belt, and the other I just pounded into my skull. Now I know what you're thinking, "Jesus, Geekologie Writer, that almost sounds too sexy." And you're right, my brain hurts.

Product Site

Thanks to Justin, who wasn't sure if I was being serious about posting everything Zelda. These hips don't lie Justin!