Is this is what would have happened if the Matrix ran on Windows? I dunno, maybe. But the real question is this: what if the Matrix ran on ethanol? If you answered "we'd be drinking buddies," you are correct. The Matrix Runs On Windows [collegehumor] Thanks to Jen, who once went down the rabbit hole and found herself in Wonderland. Remember, Jen, what the... | More →

That's right folks, this is the first photo (I have no idea what this was then), taken by the Hubble Space Telescope, of a planet orbiting another star. "[The picture] shows a planet orbiting the bright southern star Fomalhaut, located 25 light-years away in the constellation Piscis Australis." Hit the jump for another pictures of a planetary system 130 light-years away. That Hubble must... | More →

It's weird the things you block out from your childhood. Like wearing headgear or touching a friend's penis. The Kami Kami Sensor counts how many bites a child makes (to ensure proper chewing), and beeps to notify every 30 and 1,000 bites. It's available now for $189 and I just bought one. Finally, a definitive answer to how many licks it takes to get... | More →

Roger Hoirn is an artist. An artist that grows crystals on things. Because that's what floats his boat -- crystals. I like turtles. Roger was able to grow copper-sulfate crystals on every possible surface of an apartment. How? The answer is simple and at the same time remarkably difficult to achieve on this scale. Anyone who has had a chemistry lesson knows how you... | More →

There are few joys in life like laughing at some poor bastard's misfortune. Which is why I loved this video so much. Unfortunately, it's fake and actually an ad for Cisco's Integrated Communications or some such poppycock. I know, major letdown. It's still worth a viewing though. I mean, it's Friday and you've already started drinking. You have already started drinking, right? Come on,... | More →

David Thorne didn't have the $233.95 to pay an overdue account. So what did he do? What any other budding young genius would do, he submitted a picture of a spider he drew instead. Unfortunately, Jane Gilles, who is clearly a mega-bitch to the nth degree, wouldn't accept it. So what happened next? Hit the jump to find out. But I'll give you a... | More →

We've seen light-emitting wallpaper in the past, but that was just conceptual. This fiber optic wallpaper is actually available. Like today, if you have $231 to blow on a roll. There are several color options, but it looks like you're limited to flowers as far as the design goes. Not that anybody even uses wallpaper anymore. Except me. Now call me old fashioned but,... | More →

This is a litter of Shiba Inu puppies brought to you in live, streaming video. Why? Because they're cute and I want one (the one in the yellow collar). Porn aside, this is clearly what the interweb was built for. So I can lie here on the couch and watch a gaggle of puppies , without fear of shit on my own carpet. You... | More →

Love edamame? Have no idea what edamame is? They're soybean pods. And the beans inside are delicious. Mmmm, soybeans, mmmm. Half the fun of eating them is kicking the scrumptious little bastards out of their pod home. Pop! Now you can get that feeling anywhere thanks to Bandai's Puni Puni Edamame keychain. The $6 gadget gives you that satisfaction of evicting soybeans whenever you... | More →

This is a Gundam-esque robot made out of recycled styrofoam packaging. Thankfully, I'm not that afraid of him because I'm pretty confident I could karate chop right through his ass. HI-YA! Holy shit, he broke my arm. Quick, a lighter! UPDATE: Mmmm, I love the smell of *cough* burning styrofoam in the morning. Smells like *cough*....cancer. Recycled Styrofoam Gundam Robot [dinosaursandrobots] Thanks to Stephanie,... | More →

Allegedly this is the 'Moto-Terminator' bike set to appear in next year's Terminator Salvation featuring Christian Bale and Dick Dragon. Production director Martin Laing was responsible for envisioning some of the near-future killing devices, and has created (among a lot of other scary looking metal) this Moto-Terminator motorcycle. The bike seems to be the chilling Terminator character we know and love in motorcycle form... | More →

Korean manufacturer IDOCI is releasing a small refrigerator specifically designed for storing cosmetics. The unit will keep eyeliner, blush, rouge, lipstick, war paint, and fake blood in "the ideal 8 - 12 degree Celsius (46 - 53 Fahrenheit) range." Not only that, each fridge has an interior light. So you can see the shit inside! No word on price, but they do come in... | More →

Huseyin Kalkan, the mayor of Batman, Turkey, is suing (director) Christopher Nolan and Warner Brothers for using the name of the city in The Dark Knight without his permission. In other news, Batman may have elected a retarded mayor. And should totally sue this little twerp. "There is only one Batman in the world," Kalkan said. "The American producers used the name of our... | More →

Remember the Sharpie Lamborghini posted a couple months ago? Well it's back, and this time on eBay. That's right folks, for the low, low price of somewhere between $255,000 and $289,950, this marvel of modern drawing techniques can be yours. This is a 'ONE OF A KIND ' Gallardo Coupe: The car has been featured on MTV 'My sweet 16 with 'Timbaland'. This car... | More →

We're all dead. This is Jules, a robot head created to make the most realistic facial expressions possible, talking about destroying humanity. The really disturbing part is that some sick f*** actually programmed him to say this shit. So yeah, we're gonna need two bullets. Youtube Thanks Jeff, Scanner Erik, Marcus, and Uncle Eccoli, you owe me a new pair of pants.... | More →

Reader, I am your father. And you can tell your mother I'm not paying her shit, she's been bleeding me dry for long enough. But I'll still send you a gift card for Christmas, you know, because I love you. And also, if you grow up to play a professional sport, I want you to remember your dear old dad. Anyway, Best Buy and... | More →

So the Pentagon is employing a new weapon in the fight against WMDs. Namely, giant flaming balls (aka rocket balls). These are hollow spheres, made of rubberized rocket fuel; when ignited, they propel themselves around at random at high speed, bouncing off the walls and breaking through doors, turning the entire building into an inferno. The makers call them "kinetic fireball incendiaries." The Pentagon... | More →

The Please Touch Pillow wants you to touch in -- in a bad way. So it can change colors! They cost $160 and are made by witches. The more you wash them the less color changing they get, until, eventually, they're just regular pillows you paid $160 for. Now there was something else I was going to say, what was it? Oh right, I... | More →

Students at Rice University are using genetic engineering to develop a beer that contains resveratrol and may help prevent cancer. BioBeer, as it's called, has three genes spliced into special brewer's yeast that produce resveratrol, the chemical in red wine that is thought to protect against diabetes, cancer, Alzheimer's and other age-related conditions. The only problem, from the students' perspective, is that many of... | More →

A bull and donkey were caught mid-coitus in a bowl of animal crackers by some guy's wife. And, like a Virgin Mary pork rind, it ended up on eBay. As you can see from the pictures, What we have here is a bull making sweet, sweet love to a donkey. (too bad it isn't an elephant---it would make a great political piece!) My wife... | More →

Truthfully, I only use Gmail and Gmail chat to communicate with two select individuals (you know who you are). But now, thanks to the marvel of modern technology, we can talk it up with streaming video. Oh happy day! You ever videochat with a blogger that's only left bed to let the dog out and eat three bowls of cereal? And on a side... | More →

Nobody has helped me devirginize, so why should I help anybody else? Gotta look out for numero uno, if you know what I mean. I'm gonna touch a boob yet. Anyway, some poor schmuck allegedly has a lady friend that will have sex with him if his website gets 5 million unique hits by New Years (just get a hook already you cheap bastard).... | More →

In the same vein as the bubble wrap popper and envelope ripper, comes the banana peeler, a device that gives its user the sensation of peeling a banana, complete with sound effects. The Dazzling Banana will cost six coconuts when it hits stores in Japan next March. Sadly it isn't edible (although I'll still sure as as hell try). While six pineapples isn't bad,... | More →

This is allegedly a television ad for the new Toyota Corolla. It has a bunch of weird ninja cats in it and doesn't make an ATM lick of sense. And then, to make matters worse, one of the ninja cats steals a car at the end. Now what is this teaching the nation's cat population? Whatever it is, it can't be -- WHISKERS, NO!... | More →

Mimoco, the company best known for making cute USB drives (particularly the Star Wars series), recently held a contest in which fans were encouraged to design their own Mimobot and submit them for voting. Well the ballots were cast, and these are (five of the) six winners, each made into a real Mimobot. Available in 1, 2, 4 and 8GB capacities, they'll set you... | More →

Tokyoflash is back at it, this time with their new Fire design. Created from a fusion of plastics carefully wrapped around a solid, seamless sheet of highly polished stainless steel, Tokyoflash Fire features a new formation of multi-colored LEDs and is a lightweight design, built to last. Each hole, with two LEDs beneath the surface represents one unit of time. Yellow LEDs indicate hours... | More →

Korean designer Joonhuyn Kim came up with a novel improvement for lightbulbs -- making them flatter! unlike ordinary bulbs its volume is 1/3 smaller, reducing the cost of packaging and transport. its slim shape allows bulbs to be easily stacked and prevents breakage as it does not roll. Sweet. But as a guy who's smoked crack thinking it was something else, a word of... | More →

This is what Photoshop would look like in real life. If you think it's fake you can go this Flickr gallery to see its construction, then suck it. And if you think it's from the scene in Never Back Down where The Geekologie Writer stabs a commenter through their monitor, well, I can make that happen. What Photoshop Would Look Like in Real Life... | More →

Allegedly Allah gave Sayyed Muhammad Ahmad Abdallah the power of 260 horses, roughly the equivalent of 30,000 men. He has been married 24 times, fathered 35 children, and can bend coins with his eye socket and rip them with his hands. WTF! He has to have sex with his 4 current wives at least 15 times a day (in total) and can't shake hands... | More →

He's been steampunkified, LEGOfied, made into cakes, a fridge, a USB hub, a home theater system, a trashcan (surprise, surprise), a computer case, and even a beanie, and now, in his latest incarnation, it's R2-D2 as an aquarium. The $129 aquatic habitat is sold by Hammacher Schlemmer and has a 1.75-gallon capacity. "R2's eye-piece even works as a periscope so you can get an... | More →

So, yeah, there's a musical based on Dance Dance Revolution coming out. Why? Because it's the end of the world as we know it, that's why. It's set in an Orwellian society where a dance prophet named Moonbeam Funk helps dancing youth gangs rebel against a fascist government. The company working on the show describes it as "like Footloose set in the future --... | More →

The world's largest piñata was recently constructed and displayed in Philadephia, PA as part of a publicity stunt and commercial for Carnival Cruise Lines. "The donkey was 28.5 meters (94′) long, 7.2 meters (24′) wide and 18 (60′) meters tall and fill with 3,628 lbs of candy. (8,000lbs)." Carnival got the crowd riled up by promising to bust the monster ass open with a... | More →

This $55 Star Wars toaster burns a perfect Vader face into each and ever slice of delicious multi-grain bread (not included) and is available for pre-order even as I type (ships in January). If there's something every Sith Lord knows how to do it's make a balanced breakfast. While the Jedi have to live off of Jawa juice and fried nerfsteak, the Dark Lord... | More →

It's a mirror. It's interactive. It's an interactive mirror. You can touch it to paint pictures and manipulate text. "Conceptualized by Alpay Kasal of Lit Studios and Sam Ewen of Interference Inc. This is a patent pending touch capable mirror." Now I'm not sure about the practical applications of such a reflectionary device, but hey, who said anything about practicality? If I wanna do... | More →

While this was originally designed as a barstool for kilt-wearing Scots, I think we can all agree it doubles as the world's most ergonomic computer chair. It even has an ashtray for cigars! Scottish Bar Stool (for Kilts) [imagef1] Thanks to Ubergeek85, 85th in line for the the throne. | More →

A group of sickos at Carnegie Mellon have decided to automate the world's largest truck, a 3,550-horsepower, 700-ton behemoth designed to haul 240-ton loads. Autonomous vehicle technology is pretty much in its infancy," said Tony Stentz, a professor at CMU involved in the project. Stentz expects that over the next five to 10 years, the technology will expand to areas beyond mining, eventually finding... | More →

Microsoft bought a bus and now offers free transportation to and from work for some of its employees in China. The only catch? You have to sit at a workstation. Good if you like reading email and catching up on the day's news, bad if there's a sweaty man with a whip behind you demanding productivity. Seriously, the last thing I want to do... | More →

Always wanted an iron-on decal of C-3PO distracting R2 while he wipes his golden dipstick across his diminutive friend's neck? Now's your chance! Bidding starts at $0.01 with $2.99 shipping. - The size of this transfer is about 4 x 5 inches. - Works on 100% cotton or polyester blend fabrics, such as T-shirts, caps, bags, pillowcases or mouse pads, just be creative and... | More →

I love Zelda. I eat that shit up like week-old Halloween candy. Or spaghetti. Except The Adventure of Link, they made that last Palace far too hard for a 6-year old. Or a 20-something. Seriously, eff that thing. Anyway, this is a $20 officially licensed Zelda belt buckle. It's Zelda's crest if you couldn't tell, and I bought two. One for my belt, and... | More →