Nov 7 2008 iPhone Ocarina App Won't Call Epona, Turn Night Into Day, Warp You Anywhere, Make You Look Cool

The ocarina is an ancient instrument (possibly dating back 12,000 years) that has appeared in Zelda games. Which makes it dear to my heart. And I post all things Zelda on Geekologie. Because I love it that much. You could send me a tip about naming your boner Link and I'd post that shit. I'm honestly that stupid. Anyway, now there's an ocarina application for the iPhone. It's called SMule Ocarina, and it'll set you back a penny short of a buck. You just blow into the phone's mic, push the simulated holes on top, and look like a jackass. But go ahead, play the Song of Time, I dare you. You know what's gonna happen? I'm gonna punch you in the face. I have a real ocarina bitches! TOOT TOOTLE TOOT DOODLE DOOT!

Hit the jump for a video that made me cut myself.

Continue Reading " iPhone Ocarina App Won't Call Epona, Turn Night Into Day, Warp You Anywhere, Make You Look Cool "

Nov 7 2008 Why God, Why?: A Welcome Mat Mouse Pad

I've seen it all now. A $13 mouse pad that looks like a welcome mat. Jesus, what will they think of next? And could it possibly be this freaking stupid?

UPDATE: Jesus said their next pad is gonna look like a little mouse cage. Aaaaaand I'm out. *BANG*

Product Page

Thanks to Reece, who knows that the only good mouse pad is a bearskin rug.

Nov 7 2008 Thanks But No Thanks (I Value My Ass): Honda's Assisted Walking Device

Honda's taking another stab at the growing assisted walking market (that's a market!?), this time with what appears to be a robot that hides between your legs and pokes you in the genitals.

The device will supporting a portion of user's body weight whether they're crouching, walking or climbing stairs and is meant to help both those physically weakened with age or injury as well as workers who would need to reduce the stress on their bodies from heavy work or unusual positions.

The device will support users within two inches of its preset 5-foot, 7-inch user height. The entire system, including its lithium ion battery and shoes, weighs 14.3lbs, and uses two electric motors to assist users' leg movement for up to two hours before a re-charge is required.

Interesting, but I'm going to have pass. You see, I accidentally violated myself with a pogo stick once, and ever since, well, I just couldn't imagine ever cheating on it. I heart you Springy!

Hit the jump for another picture of the barebones device, along with a video of the piece in action.

Continue Reading " Thanks But No Thanks (I Value My Ass): Honda's Assisted Walking Device "

Nov 7 2008 Stylin' And Profilin' (And Kicking Myself In The Nuts For Writing That) With A Mario Hoodie

Looking for a sweet new hoodie to rock this fall? How about a Super Mario inspired joint? The MarioFlauge hoodie is currently available for pre-order and will set you back 65 pieces of eight. It's jam packed with enough golden coins, warp pipes, and phallic mountains for even the most discriminating hoodier. DO WANT.

Product Page

Thanks to Dan, who wears a hoodie the only way he knows how: backwards. You see, Dan is special.

Nov 7 2008 A Sweet Stop-Motion Mega Man Video

This is a wicked Mega Man (or Rockman) stop motion video made with paper and kickass. I liked it. It got kind of silly towards the end, but it's Friday, and sometimes it's good to get a little silly at the end. Obviously I'm talking about drinking at work. You have my permission!

Rockman 1 [blip]

Thanks to VeryLiberating, who doesn't wear pants at work.

Nov 7 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Super Obama World

Super Obama World is an online game you can play and a take off on -- you'd never guess in a million years -- Super Contra. I jest, it's soon to be 44th U.S. president Barack Obama in Super Mario World. Except it's not actually Super Mario World, it just looks similar. You run around in Alaska stomping pigs and collecting American flags. It wasn't the worst game I've ever played, but that's only because I've had games played with my heart. True story -- the red team pulled it out Temple of Doom style and started kicking it around like a soccer ball.

Official Website

Thanks to Caroline and Romeo, both of whom claim there's a warp whistle to the White House hidden somewhere in the third level.

Nov 7 2008 IGN Names Wal-Mart #1 Video Game Retailer

According to a recent IGN poll of 2,000 gamers (that's not enough), Wal-Mart is the go to for buying video games. I find it hard to believe, but I find a lot of things hard to believe. Moon landing my ass -- I'm gonna be first!

Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, is also king when it comes to videogame sales.

To prove it, they've linked to a chart showing that 62% of respondents bought games at Wal-Mart, compared to 54% who bought games at Best Buy or Gamestop. Only 17% of the people surveyed bought games from Blockbuster, where they're dirty and used.

Wal-Mart? Really? I don't like it. Nope, the only thing I buy there are late-night shopping cart races. Beat you to the toy department! Also, let's try to return something we bought on eBay.

Wal-Mart declared 'king' of videogame sales [dvice]

Nov 6 2008 Fail: Drunk "Businessmen" Break Horse Statue

Police in Saratoga Springs, NY are looking for the asshats in this video for breaking that poor fiberglass horse after repeatedly trying to mount it in their drunken stupor. There were three people involved, two males and a female (obviously a lady of the night).

Catone said police officials are tracking down the hosts of two functions held Saturday night at the Saratoga Springs City Center. The three people in the video are "very well dressed, and look like they just came from a party," Catone said.

The vandals, two men and a woman in their late 20s to early 30s, are seen walking south on Broadway in front of the real estate office when the two men attempt to mount the artwork as the woman snaps pictures.

Wow. If I could count the number of times I've done stupid shit like this, well, I wouldn't be such a drunk.

Spa police searching for horse vandals [timesunion]

Longer, uncut video here and here.

Thanks to Julian, who once tried to escape a crowd of pursuing women on one of those coin-operated horse rides. He didn't make it far.

Nov 6 2008 I Dare Say Old Bean, Beautiful Keyboard

Well, it's been a little while since we've kicked it oldschool style here on Geekologie, so let's take it back to '79 -- 1879 -- with this steampunkified ergonomic keyboard.

This keyboard was commissioned by a female client and has some elegant, feminine design features such as violet LEDs, an acanthus-leaf pattern etched into the brass, and a soft burgundy wrist pad that is removable for cleaning. It also has a built-in "buttonless" touchpad mouse in the center (tap anywhere to left-click and drag, tap in the top-right corner to right-click). This keyboard is interesting because the typing plane is actually tipped forward rather than back. It looks odd at first, but actually makes for a very comfortable typing position.

Sweet, but where do you put the coal? Plus -- wait a minute -- chicks are into this whole steampunk thing? *donning tophat and monocle* Laaaaadies? No, I'm not Mr. Peanut!

Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures, including what the original keyboard looked like.

Continue Reading " I Dare Say Old Bean, Beautiful Keyboard "

Nov 6 2008 Scientists Still Hope To Clone Extinct Species

Scientists, spurred on by the passing of Michael Crichton, have kicked their efforts of cloning extinct species into high gear. And I think I speak for all of us here when I say, sex with dinosaurs: it's about freaking time.

Japanese scientists have produced clones of mice that have been dead and frozen for 16 years -- a feat that could lead researchers to one day resurrect long-extinct species, such as the mammoth.

Researchers had thought that frozen cells were unusable because ice crystals would have damaged the DNA. That belief would rule out the possibility of resurrecting extinct animals from their frozen remains. But the latest research -- published in the journal, Proceedings for the National Academy of Sciences -- shows that scientists may have overcome the obstacle.

Yes please! Now tell me somebody's got some frozen dinosaur remains around here somewhere. If not, we're going to need to go back in time and get some. Damn, sometimes my profound logic amazes even me.

Scientists hope to clone extinct species [cnn]

Thanks to Jonathan, who fears for a dinosaur apocalypse. Which, incidentally, is my dreamworld.

Nov 6 2008 20 Years Of Research For This?: Scientists Develop Way To Grow Blue Roses, People With Incurable Diseases Do Not Rejoice

After much trial and tribulation, scientists have finally developed a safe way to grow blue roses. What was wrong with just putting white roses in a vase of water dyed blue with food coloring? Pfft, that's some unscientific bullshit, that's what.

The blooms are genetically modified and have been implanted with a gene that simulates the synthesis of blue pigment in pansies. "They are attracting lots of attention here because they are so unusual."

The creation of blue roses - long thought to be impossible - was masterminded by an Australian-based subsidiary of Suntory, a Japanese company.

A blue rose has long been synonymous with the unattainable, from signifying unrequited love in Chinese folklore to its Victorian era connotations of symbolizing a quest for the impossible.

Well thank Jesus. Finally I'll be able to sleep at night knowing scientists may not have cured cancer, but, screw it, roses now come in blue. Your rose color lesson for the day:

Red: Love. Alternatively: I cheated on you.
Pink: Gratitude. Alternatively: I cheated on you with the secretary. Twice.
Orange: Desire. Alternatively: I want somebody else but they're not having it, so l'd like to continue doing you in the interim.
Yellow: Friendship. Alternatively: you have a butter face.
White: Purity. Alternatively: I know you're a filthy whore, but let's pretend anyways.
Lavander: Enchantment. Alternatively: you should be burned at the stake!
Blue: Mystery. Alternatively: f*** you.

World's first blue roses after 20 years of research [telegraph]

Thanks to Momboelitist, who only sends black roses. And then stabs you.

Nov 6 2008 The Future Is Now!: A Home Theater Watch

The Home Theater Watch costs $120 and brings all (2GB worth) of your favorite shows and movies to you in incredible unstunning quality. Truthfully, I'd rather watch hair grow out the mole on my arm. Or, alternatively, duct tape an iPod to my glasses.

You will have as home theater experience available everywhere you go. You can even use it to show people your favorite television shows or prime time specials. Simply convert your video from any of the digital formats listed above (ASF, AVI, MPEG, WMV, DAT/VCD, and ASX), and you will have your favorite television episodes whenever and wherever you want. Imagine watching your favorite sitcom while stuck on the train commute to work in the morning or while sitting in a traffic jam.

Oh yeah, watching tv on your wrist while driving, brilliant. I mean, the drivers around here are almost too good. And on a side note, a home theater watch -- what is this 2025? The future is now folks -- hoverboards, hoverboards!

Product Site

Thanks to Woo Doop "It's about a Watch with a TV and shit on it", for giving it to me straight.

Nov 5 2008 Hummer Tank, Because, Yeah, Just Because

There are many things in this world that simply remain unexplainable. Like why all banana-flavored candy tastes like ass. And also, why the hell anybody would put treads on a Hummer H2T. Hell, or even buy one for that matter. My own poverty aside, what could possibly be cooler than a Hummer with treads? Ha, you're right -- a Hummer with treads on fire.

Hit it for a bunch more of the ridiculousness.

Continue Reading " Hummer Tank, Because, Yeah, Just Because "

Nov 5 2008 An A Capella Tribute To John Williams

This is Youtube user ApprenticeA's a capella tribute to composer John Williams (who scored such perennial favorites as E.T., Jaws, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, and pretty much every other movie in the past 50 years that's had good music). At first I had trouble figuring out what I was watching, but after about a minute, I realized I had absolutely no freaking clue.

Youtube

Thanks to Jeff, who can hum better than anyone I know.

Nov 5 2008 R.I.P.: Michael Crichton Passed Away

It is with a heavy heart that I write Michael Crichton, 66, author of such genius as Jurassic Park, The Andromeda Strain, Congo, Disclosure, and Timeline, passed away unexpectedly yesterday. He was battling cancer.

While the world knew him as a great storyteller that challenged our preconceived notions about the world around us -- and entertained us all while doing so -- his wife Sherri, daughter Taylor, family and friends knew Michael Crichton as a devoted husband, loving father and generous friend who inspired each of us to strive to see the wonders of our world through new eyes," his family tells ET. "He did this with a wry sense of humor that those who were privileged to know him personally will never forget.

We're gonna miss you Michael, save a spot for me in that great dinosaur park in the sky.

Jurassic Park Author Dies Unexpectedly [usmagazine]

Thanks to The Superficial Writer for sadly bringing this to my attention.

Nov 5 2008 The Scorpion: A 40-MPG, 450-Horsepower Hydrogen-Powered Arachnid -- That Stings

Okay it doesn't really sting, it's just a freaking car. Oh wait, maybe it does.

The Scorpion gets its sting from a hydrogen delivery system the company calls H2GO. While cars like the Honda FCX Clarity and Chevrolet Equinox use hydrogen fuel cells to drive electric motors, the Scorpion uses electrolysis to convert water into gaseous hydrogen. The hydrogen is mixed with 91-octane gasoline to improve the fuel economy and reduce the emissions of the car's 3.5-liter internal combustion engine.

Ronn Motors is confident that the sexy Scorpion will top 200 mph. The chrome-moly chassis and carbon-fiber body surrounds a twin-turbo 3.5-liter V6 in a car that weighs just 2,200 pounds. The engine was sourced from Acura -- it's the same mill found in the TL Type S, albeit turbocharged -- and mated to a six-speed gearbox. The car will set you back $150,000, and if 450 ponies isn't enough, another $100 grand will get you a tweaked version with another 150 horsepower.

Oh man. I want one. Badly. Really badly. Just imagine: you're cruising along in your Scorpion, when you decide to swing by the BK drive-thru for a #4 with a Coke. ZOMG I'm making myself moister than a towelette. Just kidding, I don't even know what that means. Or do I?

Hit the jump for a couple more worthwhile pictures.

Continue Reading " The Scorpion: A 40-MPG, 450-Horsepower Hydrogen-Powered Arachnid -- That Stings "

Nov 5 2008 Why Obama Won: A Geekologie Perspective

Because he clenched the robot vote. This $250 ObamaBot cast 30 ballots and swayed human voters with the threat of annihilation, and also, a set of pretty sweet set of retreads. Yay democracy!

Even robots love Obama [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, my campaign manager, for siphoning off all campaign contributions to line his own pockets. With ones. To the strip club!

Nov 5 2008 Mice Killing Has Never Been Easier, More Disturbing, Electrocution-y, Efficient

Have a mouse problem? Stop leaving cheese out yo. But if you want to get rid of them and feel like a sadistic bastard in one fell swoop, look into the Victor Multi-Kill Electronic Mouse Trap. Basically a mouse walks in, up some stairs, gets his electrocution on in the Shock N' Drop chamber, smells like burnt fur, and then falls into a box (which can hold up to ten!). My parents just got one, but mostly because it's safe for kids and pets. Speaking of which -- mom, have you seen Hammy?

NEW! Multi-Kill Electronic Mouse Trap from Victor, The Power Tool of Rodent Control [prweb]

Thanks to Richthegringo and Mike, who kill rats the old fashioned way, with cement shoes. Now they sleep with the fishes.

Nov 4 2008 Sign Fail: Double Check Your Translation

Sign failure, always good for a laugh. At least a chortle. This one comes to us from the distant land of Wales, which may or may not be real and ruled by a powerful sorcerer. According to his black magical highness, all road signs must be bilingual, with both English and Welsh.

When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed.

Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: "I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated".

You've reached The Geekologie Writer. I'm currently unavailable, probably locked in the office supply closet again after The Superficial and Iwatchstuff writers lured me in with the promise of a floozy/pizza party. Help. HELP! Oooh, free pens.

E-mail error ends up on road sign [bbcnews]

Thanks to Tom, whose name actually means Lord Asskicker in Elvish. And Jonathan, whose name means God's Gracious Gift to Women.

Nov 4 2008 Space: Screw It, It's Just A Vacuum-y Landfill

Space: Our vacuum-y landfill to the north, south, east, and, uh, left.

A 1,400-pound (635-kilogram) ammonia tank burned up over the Pacific Ocean late Sunday, more than a year after an astronaut chucked it from the International Space Station because it had become obsolete, NASA said yesterday.

Astronauts routinely trash equipment in space. Most of it - including a 212-pound (96-kilogram) video camera stand Anderson got rid of during the same spacewalk - burns up before making impact on Earth.

What the -- we're already trashing space? I swear, if I see a single freaking McDonald's cup on the way to Moonbase Brothel, it's somebody's ass. And hopefully an alien stripper's -- in my lap.

Trash crash: Space litter makes landing [sciam]

Thanks to loyal Geekologist Hunter, who, even on his birthday, takes the time to send tips. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!

Nov 4 2008 Tired Yet?: Another Literal Music Video

YouTube user DustoMcNeato (the man behind the Take on Me and Head Over Heels literal videos is at it again, this time with Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Banana Peppers. It's okay. Mostly it reminded me how hot I thought Anthony Kiedis was when that video came out. And I'm not even gay anymore. I was "cured" by religion! Just kidding, still totally gay.

Youtube

Thanks to Zaquisha and Gord, who both cry along with their respective cities.

Nov 4 2008 Go Vote (And Recieve A Free Sex Toy)!

If you haven't voted yet, go do it. Like right now. I'll still be here when you get back, no worries. And, if you live in New York or Seattle, go collect your free sex toy afterwards. Ah, democracy.

To encourage your involvement in the democratic process, Babeland is offering a Get Out the Vote Special Giveaway!!

Stop by any brick and mortar store (New York or Seattle) between November 4th and 11th and bring your voter registration card, voting stub or word of honor. If you voted, we'll give you a Silver Bullet or a Maverick Sleeve (get it?) for free! Yes, free. It's because we value voting that much. Sex toys for voting, only the satisfaction of having helped ensure your country's future can be better than that.

I have no idea what a Maverick Sleeve or Silver Bullet is, but they sound, well, awesome. And they're free! Then, when you candidate loses, you can [insert joke about getting f***ed in more ways than one for the next four years].

GO VOTE!

Get Out the Vote with Babeland [babeland]

Thanks to Jennie, who's upset she doesn't live in Seattle or New York.

Nov 4 2008 Own Your Own Apollo Spacesuit (Replica)

You remember when you were a kid and wanted to be an astronaut? Well I still do. And I'm building my own rocketship (screw you NASA -- rules and regulate this!). Originally I was gonna blast the eff off in a pair of gym shorts and novelty t-shirt, but now I'm thinking I might need something a little more....official looking. Enter the replica Apollo 11 spacesuit. Made based on a real Apollo A7L suit, it looks and feels like the real deal -- and all for only $9,500! Which, incidentally, is more than my entire rocketship cost to build. Speaking of which, I'm now accepting applications for one lucky lady (or dude that's really convincing) to join me on my groundbreaking journey to blowing up on the launch pad and dying. Pre-liftoff lunch will be included, no purchase necessary, just send a picture and five bucks to help cover the cold-cuts.

Buy a real Apollo spacesuit and finally live out those childhood dreams [dvice]

e. -- I'll blast off with you any day. And, God willing, we won't explode.

Nov 4 2008 Move Over Hot Or Not: A Digital Face Analyzer

BAPA (Balanced Angular and Proportional Analysis) Web is a web-based facial analyzer that apparently determines if a person is attractive or not (for a fee). You know, based on balanced angular and proportional analysis. So if you have big lips and tiny eyes, you're screwed. If you have chiseled features and a wicked scar from a bar fight like I do, you're in. As long as the programmers were smart enough to take badass scars into consideration. Oh shit, and eyepatches. Also, I burnt my good eyebrow off cooking ramen the other night. I'm gonna go ahead and use a picture from a few years back.

UPDATE: The computer's smoking -- it's a sign!

UPDATE: The computer caught fire -- things are looking good!

UDPATE: The computer exploded -- I'm ugly :(

Product Page

Thanks to Antonia, who doesn't need a program to tell her she's smoking hot.

Nov 4 2008 Coming Soon: The Air Car Pod

Zero Pollution Motors plans to drop the AirPod like it's hot. And soon (~2011). The compressed-air powered vehicle will cost about $20,000 (!) and run on little more than, well, air. Oh, and, alternatively, a little oil, alcohol, or gas.

The air car can tool along at a top speed of 35 mph for some 60 miles or so on a tank of compressed air, a sufficient distance for 80% of consumers to commute to work and back and complete daily chores.

On highways, the CAV can cruise at interstate speeds for nearly 800 miles with a small motor that compresses outside air to keep the tank filled. The motor isn't finicky about fuel. It will burn gasoline or diesel as well as biodiesel, ethanol or vegetable oil.

Even if running on gas, the death trap averages over 100 mpg. Which, while impressive, is nowhere near as good as a pirate ship.

One more picture of the shoebox on wheels after the jump.

Continue Reading " Coming Soon: The Air Car Pod "

Nov 4 2008 Get Out And Vote (For Lando Calrissian)!

Well folks, today's election day. And, if you haven't already, you need to go vote. Now get out there and rock out with your democracy loving penis out. Just kidding, totally wait till you're in the booth. This is a series of political ads run by Sentator Palpatine and Lando Calrissian during this year's election. They feature the real Lando (Billy Dee Williams) and bear a striking similarity to our current election. Who will win? Will I have to leave the country? Will I go somewhere tropical? Somewhere with good health care? Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself -- GO VOTE. Unless you're Canadian, in which case, vote twice.

Vote for Lando Calrissian! w/ BILLY DEE WILLIAMS [funnyordie]

Thanks to The Superficial Writer, who keeps this democracy running strong the only way he knows how: with boobs.

Nov 3 2008 British Boy Legally Changes Name To 'Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk And The Flash Combined'

A 19-year old British kid legally changed his name from George Garratt to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk And The Flash Combined. Because, WTF, you only live once, right? Just kidding, this is my second go around.

"I decided on a superheroes theme and whenever my friends offered up suggestions to me, I added them."

He added: "My family have begun to expect these sorts of things from me, and although my friends thought it was ridiculous most people do call me Captain and it's been a great conversation starter."

A spokesman from The Legal Deed Poll Service, said: "We get so many outrageous name changes that these days it barely fazes us, but when this one was brought to my attention I knew there was something special about it."

Oh there's something special about it all right. Listen, Superman and The Flash are the only fast ones out of the bunch, so tacking on all those others is only increasing overall speed incrementally (and the time it takes to write your name exponentially). Snap -- your name just got learned, Captain Fantarded! Also, you're 19-years old man, come the f*** on.

Teenager's new name is fantastic [bbcnews]

Thanks to Chris, who wants to change his name to Captain Kickass Planet, and totally should.

Nov 3 2008 Now You're Talking!: A Wicked Mech Costume

As the saying goes, you can take the boy out of Halloween, but you can't take the Halloween candy out of the boy. Without surgery. And you'd still probably miss a jawbreaker. So it may be 362 days till next Halloween, but I figure I'd put up one last tribute to the night I saw Optimus Prime make out with a ninja turtle. This is a kid dressed up in a homemade chicken walker mech costume. It's very well made. Now somebody hit the kid up with some candy for his effort. Seriously, just wing it at him, he's a freaking tank.

Hit the jump for a video of the mech build, a similar AT-AT, and the cutest damn mini Mega Man you've ever seen.

Continue Reading " Now You're Talking!: A Wicked Mech Costume "

Nov 3 2008 $110,000 Solid Aluminum Speakers

Got $110,000 burning a hole in your golden pants pocket? How about sharing the wealth with your favorite blogger? Damnit, no, not The Superficial Writer. That guy's a dick. No, not Iwatchstuff either. I was talking about yours truly, folks. Way to kick a guy in the freaking head while he's bent over to tie his shoe. Now I don't even want your money. Just kidding, I totally do. All of it. Stick 'em up! Jewelry too. Anyway the KEF Muon speakers are each milled from a solid piece of aluminum and take a week to make. And allegedly they sell for $110,000. Which is $1,000 times ninety-something. For speakers. But if you're seriously interested, call me, I'm an authorized dealer -- of kicking your rich ass!

Product Page

Thanks to Momboelitist, who wouldn't pay a dime over $69,950 for those mothers.

Nov 3 2008 Who Am I And Where The Hell Are My Pants?: Scientists Study Possibility Of 'Amnesia Beam'

Being able to selectively delete memories, this sounds promising.

A team of scientists from the United States and China announced last week that, for the first time, they had found a means of selectively and safely erasing memories in mice, using the signaling molecule αCaMKII. It's a big step forward, and one that will be of considerable interest to the military, which has devoted efforts to memory manipulation as a means of treating post-traumatic stress disorder. But some military research has moved in another direction entirely.

Wow, really? Who would have thought -- another direction entirely. Brainwashing anybody? I didn't really bother reading the rest of the article because I've been picking through my Halloween candy, but it said something about flashing lights and microwave exposure to the brain. Which can only mean one thing: how can I get the microwave to run with the door still open?

Military Investigates Amnesia Beams [wired]

Thanks to....uh, damnit, it was just on the tip of my tongue. Thanks to....shit, hold on. Thanks to Allegro, who could out-memory two elephants easily.

Nov 3 2008 World's Largest Cruise Ship Being Built

Royal Carribbean is having the world's largest cruise ship built for them, and it's gonna be ready to set sail next November. The Oasis of the Seas is being billed as a traveling city, and will include not one but TWO 24-hour buffets.

The liner will span 16 decks, encompass 220,000 gross registered tons (GRT), carry 5,400 guests and feature 2,700 staterooms.

Almost 1200 feet long, 154 foot wide and rising 213 feet above the water line, the Oasis of the Seas will be able to host 3,000 crew to service every passenger's need.

Oasis of the Seas will be the first ship to tout the cruise line's new neighborhood concept of seven distinct themed areas, which include Central Park, Boardwalk, the Royal Promenade, the Pool and Sports Zone, Vitality at Sea Spa and Fitness Center, Entertainment Place and Youth Zone.

Remind you of anything? No? I'm talking about the Titanic. Remember that one? It too was touted as the latest and greatest in shipage, and we all know what happened to it. Yep, I think there's a definite lesson to be learned here. "Jack, I'm flying!"

Hit the jump for a bunch more pics, many in stunning rendered detail.

Continue Reading " World's Largest Cruise Ship Being Built "

Nov 3 2008 How To Get Hit By A Bus: The Immersion Scarf

Ooooh, I like that tie. The Immersion Scarf is basically a smaller version of a whatever the hell you'd call this thing. But, instead of being used in conjunction with a computer, it was designed for use with cell phones and portable gaming systems. And no so much for warmth and privacy as much as anti-glare and privacy. So yeah, totally different. Nope, no idea theft going on here at all. And also, no plagiarism. Just kidding, I copy/pasted this shit from your mom's blog. Funny lady!

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.

Continue Reading " How To Get Hit By A Bus: The Immersion Scarf "

Nov 3 2008 Damn Son, You Just Got Literally Rick Rolled

Okay, so the wave of literal translations of music videos continues. This time it's Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up, aka the Rick Roll song in case you've been a vegetable for the past year and just came to. And, if that is the case, it's good to have you back. But tell me -- was there a tunnel? Was a bearded man beckoning you towards the light? Did he creep you out at all? One time The Superficial Writer passed out humping the water cooler and said all angels have perfect tits. Is it true? Can you touch them or does your hand just pass through like that time I copped a feel on Casper's mom?

Youtube

Thanks to Lamezoid, who once Rick Rolled Rick Astley and then punched him in the face. Also, to AJ, "if you are going to thank me for the tip, write 'AJ says LSDiesel and Sharpie suck balls'"

Nov 3 2008 Samus Cake Is Mmmm, Nom Nom Nom

If there's two things I love in life it's Zelda and cake. And women. And long walks on the beach and off short piers. Did I mention beer? It's in the top two. Along with my dog and stimulating conversations. Oh snap, and road trips. Anyway, this is a Super Metroid cake made to look like the lovely Samus Aran's head. Or helmet rather. Allegedly it's a wedding cake, but I find it a little hard to believe there's a woman out there cool enough to let this fly on her special day. Which can only mean one thing: gay marriage. Congrats guys!

Super metroid Samus helmet cake [flickr]

Thanks to Jenny, The Bloggess, for kicking ass and taking cakes.