The ocarina is an ancient instrument (possibly dating back 12,000 years) that has appeared in Zelda games. Which makes it dear to my heart. And I post all things Zelda on Geekologie. Because I love it that much. You could send me a tip about naming your boner Link and I'd post that shit. I'm honestly that stupid. Anyway, now there's an ocarina application... | More →

I've seen it all now. A $13 mouse pad that looks like a welcome mat. Jesus, what will they think of next? And could it possibly be this freaking stupid? UPDATE: Jesus said their next pad is gonna look like a little mouse cage. Aaaaaand I'm out. *BANG* Product Page Thanks to Reece, who knows that the only good mouse pad is a bearskin... | More →

Honda's taking another stab at the growing assisted walking market (that's a market!?), this time with what appears to be a robot that hides between your legs and pokes you in the genitals. The device will supporting a portion of user's body weight whether they're crouching, walking or climbing stairs and is meant to help both those physically weakened with age or injury as... | More →

Looking for a sweet new hoodie to rock this fall? How about a Super Mario inspired joint? The MarioFlauge hoodie is currently available for pre-order and will set you back 65 pieces of eight. It's jam packed with enough golden coins, warp pipes, and phallic mountains for even the most discriminating hoodier. DO WANT. Product Page Thanks to Dan, who wears a hoodie the... | More →

This is a wicked Mega Man (or Rockman) stop motion video made with paper and kickass. I liked it. It got kind of silly towards the end, but it's Friday, and sometimes it's good to get a little silly at the end. Obviously I'm talking about drinking at work. You have my permission! Rockman 1 [blip] Thanks to VeryLiberating, who doesn't wear pants at... | More →

Super Obama World is an online game you can play and a take off on -- you'd never guess in a million years -- Super Contra. I jest, it's soon to be 44th U.S. president Barack Obama in Super Mario World. Except it's not actually Super Mario World, it just looks similar. You run around in Alaska stomping pigs and collecting American flags. It... | More →

According to a recent IGN poll of 2,000 gamers (that's not enough), Wal-Mart is the go to for buying video games. I find it hard to believe, but I find a lot of things hard to believe. Moon landing my ass -- I'm gonna be first! Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, is also king when it comes to videogame sales. To prove it, they've... | More →

Police in Saratoga Springs, NY are looking for the asshats in this video for breaking that poor fiberglass horse after repeatedly trying to mount it in their drunken stupor. There were three people involved, two males and a female (obviously a lady of the night). Catone said police officials are tracking down the hosts of two functions held Saturday night at the Saratoga Springs... | More →

Well, it's been a little while since we've kicked it oldschool style here on Geekologie, so let's take it back to '79 -- 1879 -- with this steampunkified ergonomic keyboard. This keyboard was commissioned by a female client and has some elegant, feminine design features such as violet LEDs, an acanthus-leaf pattern etched into the brass, and a soft burgundy wrist pad that is... | More →

Scientists, spurred on by the passing of Michael Crichton, have kicked their efforts of cloning extinct species into high gear. And I think I speak for all of us here when I say, sex with dinosaurs: it's about freaking time. Japanese scientists have produced clones of mice that have been dead and frozen for 16 years -- a feat that could lead researchers to... | More →

After much trial and tribulation, scientists have finally developed a safe way to grow blue roses. What was wrong with just putting white roses in a vase of water dyed blue with food coloring? Pfft, that's some unscientific bullshit, that's what. The blooms are genetically modified and have been implanted with a gene that simulates the synthesis of blue pigment in pansies. "They are... | More →

The Home Theater Watch costs $120 and brings all (2GB worth) of your favorite shows and movies to you in incredible unstunning quality. Truthfully, I'd rather watch hair grow out the mole on my arm. Or, alternatively, duct tape an iPod to my glasses. You will have as home theater experience available everywhere you go. You can even use it to show people your... | More →

There are many things in this world that simply remain unexplainable. Like why all banana-flavored candy tastes like ass. And also, why the hell anybody would put treads on a Hummer H2T. Hell, or even buy one for that matter. My own poverty aside, what could possibly be cooler than a Hummer with treads? Ha, you're right -- a Hummer with treads on fire.... | More →

This is Youtube user ApprenticeA's a capella tribute to composer John Williams (who scored such perennial favorites as E.T., Jaws, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, and pretty much every other movie in the past 50 years that's had good music). At first I had trouble figuring out what I was watching, but after about a minute, I realized I had absolutely no freaking... | More →

It is with a heavy heart that I write Michael Crichton, 66, author of such genius as Jurassic Park, The Andromeda Strain, Congo, Disclosure, and Timeline, passed away unexpectedly yesterday. He was battling cancer. While the world knew him as a great storyteller that challenged our preconceived notions about the world around us -- and entertained us all while doing so -- his wife... | More →

Okay it doesn't really sting, it's just a freaking car. Oh wait, maybe it does. The Scorpion gets its sting from a hydrogen delivery system the company calls H2GO. While cars like the Honda FCX Clarity and Chevrolet Equinox use hydrogen fuel cells to drive electric motors, the Scorpion uses electrolysis to convert water into gaseous hydrogen. The hydrogen is mixed with 91-octane gasoline... | More →

Because he clenched the robot vote. This $250 ObamaBot cast 30 ballots and swayed human voters with the threat of annihilation, and also, a set of pretty sweet set of retreads. Yay democracy! Even robots love Obama [engadget] Thanks to Julian, my campaign manager, for siphoning off all campaign contributions to line his own pockets. With ones. To the strip club!... | More →

Have a mouse problem? Stop leaving cheese out yo. But if you want to get rid of them and feel like a sadistic bastard in one fell swoop, look into the Victor Multi-Kill Electronic Mouse Trap. Basically a mouse walks in, up some stairs, gets his electrocution on in the Shock N' Drop chamber, smells like burnt fur, and then falls into a box... | More →

Sign failure, always good for a laugh. At least a chortle. This one comes to us from the distant land of Wales, which may or may not be real and ruled by a powerful sorcerer. According to his black magical highness, all road signs must be bilingual, with both English and Welsh. When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they... | More →

Space: Our vacuum-y landfill to the north, south, east, and, uh, left. A 1,400-pound (635-kilogram) ammonia tank burned up over the Pacific Ocean late Sunday, more than a year after an astronaut chucked it from the International Space Station because it had become obsolete, NASA said yesterday. Astronauts routinely trash equipment in space. Most of it - including a 212-pound (96-kilogram) video camera stand... | More →

YouTube user DustoMcNeato (the man behind the Take on Me and Head Over Heels literal videos is at it again, this time with Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Banana Peppers. It's okay. Mostly it reminded me how hot I thought Anthony Kiedis was when that video came out. And I'm not even gay anymore. I was "cured" by religion! Just kidding, still... | More →

If you haven't voted yet, go do it. Like right now. I'll still be here when you get back, no worries. And, if you live in New York or Seattle, go collect your free sex toy afterwards. Ah, democracy. To encourage your involvement in the democratic process, Babeland is offering a Get Out the Vote Special Giveaway!! Stop by any brick and mortar store... | More →

You remember when you were a kid and wanted to be an astronaut? Well I still do. And I'm building my own rocketship (screw you NASA -- rules and regulate this!). Originally I was gonna blast the eff off in a pair of gym shorts and novelty t-shirt, but now I'm thinking I might need something a little more....official looking. Enter the replica Apollo... | More →

BAPA (Balanced Angular and Proportional Analysis) Web is a web-based facial analyzer that apparently determines if a person is attractive or not (for a fee). You know, based on balanced angular and proportional analysis. So if you have big lips and tiny eyes, you're screwed. If you have chiseled features and a wicked scar from a bar fight like I do, you're in. As... | More →

Zero Pollution Motors plans to drop the AirPod like it's hot. And soon (~2011). The compressed-air powered vehicle will cost about $20,000 (!) and run on little more than, well, air. Oh, and, alternatively, a little oil, alcohol, or gas. The air car can tool along at a top speed of 35 mph for some 60 miles or so on a tank of compressed... | More →

Well folks, today's election day. And, if you haven't already, you need to go vote. Now get out there and rock out with your democracy loving penis out. Just kidding, totally wait till you're in the booth. This is a series of political ads run by Sentator Palpatine and Lando Calrissian during this year's election. They feature the real Lando (Billy Dee Williams) and... | More →

A 19-year old British kid legally changed his name from George Garratt to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk And The Flash Combined. Because, WTF, you only live once, right? Just kidding, this is my second go around. "I decided on a superheroes theme and whenever my friends offered up suggestions to me, I added them." He added: "My family... | More →

As the saying goes, you can take the boy out of Halloween, but you can't take the Halloween candy out of the boy. Without surgery. And you'd still probably miss a jawbreaker. So it may be 362 days till next Halloween, but I figure I'd put up one last tribute to the night I saw Optimus Prime make out with a ninja turtle. This... | More →

Got $110,000 burning a hole in your golden pants pocket? How about sharing the wealth with your favorite blogger? Damnit, no, not The Superficial Writer. That guy's a dick. No, not Iwatchstuff either. I was talking about yours truly, folks. Way to kick a guy in the freaking head while he's bent over to tie his shoe. Now I don't even want your money.... | More →

Being able to selectively delete memories, this sounds promising. A team of scientists from the United States and China announced last week that, for the first time, they had found a means of selectively and safely erasing memories in mice, using the signaling molecule αCaMKII. It's a big step forward, and one that will be of considerable interest to the military, which has devoted... | More →

Royal Carribbean is having the world's largest cruise ship built for them, and it's gonna be ready to set sail next November. The Oasis of the Seas is being billed as a traveling city, and will include not one but TWO 24-hour buffets. The liner will span 16 decks, encompass 220,000 gross registered tons (GRT), carry 5,400 guests and feature 2,700 staterooms. Almost 1200... | More →

Ooooh, I like that tie. The Immersion Scarf is basically a smaller version of a whatever the hell you'd call this thing. But, instead of being used in conjunction with a computer, it was designed for use with cell phones and portable gaming systems. And no so much for warmth and privacy as much as anti-glare and privacy. So yeah, totally different. Nope, no... | More →

Okay, so the wave of literal translations of music videos continues. This time it's Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up, aka the Rick Roll song in case you've been a vegetable for the past year and just came to. And, if that is the case, it's good to have you back. But tell me -- was there a tunnel? Was a bearded man... | More →

If there's two things I love in life it's Zelda and cake. And women. And long walks on the beach and off short piers. Did I mention beer? It's in the top two. Along with my dog and stimulating conversations. Oh snap, and road trips. Anyway, this is a Super Metroid cake made to look like the lovely Samus Aran's head. Or helmet rather.... | More →