Oct 27 2008Oh God, No. No, No, No: Robot Determines Humans Taste Like Bacon, Are Delicious
Great. NEC's Tasting Robot, the diminutive bastard originally designed to assess wines, has now assessed humans -- and determined they'd taste delicious.
It's all pretty straightforward tech: stick a bit of nosh in front of the robogourmet's infrared spectrometer and it analyzes the reflected light to determine the chemical composition of the sample. A nice trick, although it can only be programmed to accurately identify a few dozen wines.
Innocent enough, you may think. However, when NEC demonstrated the cybersommelier to a reporter and snapper from Associated Press, the robot claimed the former's hand tasted of prosciutto ham, while the latter apparently had the unmistakable whiff of bacon about him.
Great, so it looks like we might end up fighting the robot and zombie apocalypses simultaneously. Wow, could today get any better? Not unless I get hit by a delivery truck. Oh shit -- or see a boob.
Humans taste of bacon, says gourmet robot [theregister]
Thanks to Birchie, king of ruining my day.
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Reader Comments
1. Elmo - October 27, 2008 3:08 PM
I don't wanna be ass-assed by a robot
2. firsty - October 27, 2008 3:09 PM
FIrst maybe!
3. Sharpie - October 27, 2008 3:09 PM
First
4. Sharpie - October 27, 2008 3:09 PM
dammit, haha
5. mamadough - October 27, 2008 3:11 PM
but wouldn't the robots think that zombies would taste like really good cheese?
6. Ash - October 27, 2008 3:20 PM
We need ninjas to help fight. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXBT9eKKj6A
7. Daisy - October 27, 2008 3:29 PM
Fake!!!
This is an obvious photoshop fake. You can tell, the shadows are all wrong.
It kinda looks like Max's science project from the Movie Never Back Down, except for the part where its a robot, and the part where it can judge what stuff tastes like.
See you all at The_Don's tonight. I hope I don't wear the same dress as Thumperchicka.
8. Farvas Twin - October 27, 2008 3:31 PM
My finger tasted of ass, and I couldn't figure out why, and then the hosebag reminded me I had it up her stinker earlier this morning.
I need to carry wipes when she's around.
9. LSDiesel - October 27, 2008 3:37 PM
@8, you could've just got this robot to tell you that your finger tasted like ass instead of putting it in your mouth.
10. Daisy, shut up - October 27, 2008 3:41 PM
Hey, Daisy. Your not-very-funny joke is now a not-at-all-funny joke. Please, enough with the photoshop comment.
11. BOOSH - October 27, 2008 3:41 PM
/b/
12. illwill - October 27, 2008 3:42 PM
Maybe the repoter was just touching some bacon earlier that day?
13. Elmo - October 27, 2008 3:50 PM
what about the unidentified pig-meat on the Hawaiian Pizza Hut things?
14. venort - October 27, 2008 4:10 PM
CHEESE
PETROL
if you don't get it, you fail.
15. Elmo - October 27, 2008 4:11 PM
no, I don't fail
16. LSDiesel - October 27, 2008 4:16 PM
@14, if you post jokes that no one gets, you fail.
17. claire - October 27, 2008 4:28 PM
I don't think we need to worry about robots thinking we taste like delicious. robots don't eat, so they would have no reason to eat something that tasted of bacon. although, the fact that we taste like bacon makes sense, because a pig's meat is pretty close to human meat (smoothe epidermis, fat, etc...)
I prefer my human meat hickory smoked. yumm
18. DrNecropolis - October 27, 2008 5:09 PM
I heard about his on the TWIS podcast a couple of months ago. All I have to say is, i we taste like bacon we don't need to wait for robot or zombie Apocalypses (apocalai... apocalae?) Cause I'm totally gonna start eating people too! Though I'm suspicious, I'd think that we'd taste like redmeat not bacon
19. Elmo - October 27, 2008 5:24 PM
@16
so I don't fail? whew...
you know how much I care for petrol-cheese-ass-hole's approval
20. LeftRIGHTLeft - October 27, 2008 6:19 PM
uh, has anyone noticed this robot bears a startling resemblance to a ghostly Aunt Jemima...?
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3251/2671919640_3e37cf3833.jpg?v=0
..at least why hasn't anyone question the fact that this is wearing a f***ing hat and scarf..
21. v tard - October 27, 2008 10:53 PM
I believe the robot.
The Papua New Guinea cannibal word for human flesh roughly translates to "long pig".
22. Greg - October 28, 2008 2:19 AM
@ 21
I was just about to say, "Has no one heard of the term 'Long Pork' before?"
23. The_Don - October 28, 2008 2:56 AM
Folks, why let a puny stupid robot prove it to you (the scholar) what YOU taste like. Just tear off a chunk from your left thigh and taste all the flesh you ever wanted. Remember to add hotsauce.
@7 The fake Daisy, you looked fabulous. Or maybe I was too drunk Sickie Woooo! Guys if you don't go to work today 'coz of "the party" remember not to change your facebook status to "wasted". They might use it as an excuse to fire you.
24. venort - October 28, 2008 4:21 AM
explaining 14:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=B_m17HK97M8
25. Adra - October 28, 2008 6:53 AM
All we need now is the robot designed to prepare the meat....
Gx
26. Thumperchica - October 28, 2008 7:34 AM
petrol-cheese-ass-hole - It's the new BLT!
Irony - I left work early yesterday do to illness... So Daisy, there was never a need to worry about wearing the same dress, I only wear 80's exercise gear, not that I exercise mind you....