Oct 20 2008Hover Scooter Is Wicked Freaking Uncool
Haha, so I haven't left New Orleans. And you know what? I might not. One of the awesomest parts of being king of the interweb is being able to work from any seedy, gin-soaked, smoke-filled bar with Wi-Fi that you want. So I'm at a coffee shop. And I want this freaking hover-scooter. Sold by Hammacher Schlemmer, the piece of monkey shit costs $17,000, and, apparently, should only be ridden with a safety helmet. Oh, and acting like you're humping the handle.
Hailed by The New York Times as a "miniature flying saucer with handlebars, the hover scooter provides an unprecedented experience in personal transportation, levitating inches above the ground and speeding a single rider across level land on a cushion of air. Gentle lift from an engine-powered fan elevates the scooter off the ground, and a stream of air exiting a vent in the back provides light forward thrust.
Light forward thrust, huh? As opposed to some heavy backwards stabbing? Which, incidentally, I may or may not have experienced in the quarter last night. They're not all chicks!
Thanks to Jeff, who made me swear I'd buy him one for posting this. But guess what Jeff? I'm a lying asshole!
Reader Comments
1. Gizmoduck - October 20, 2008 11:43 AM
first!!!
BOOSH
2. Sharpie - October 20, 2008 11:45 AM
Its about time!, they need to spend more time on hover toys then ground toys. This is what I'm talking about. looks a little tacky but what the f***, were a step further to releasing it to the public. By the way, love his helmet, hahahaha what a fag
3. Thumperchica - October 20, 2008 11:46 AM
THWARTED!!! You weren't supposed to post until 11:47am...
4. Hah - October 20, 2008 11:46 AM
I'd rather walk than use this red air conditioner.
5. you know who - October 20, 2008 11:46 AM
pretty awesome so f***ing awesome like potato head awesome i want one........... green goblen bitch
6. you know who - October 20, 2008 11:47 AM
pretty awesome so f***ing awesome like potato head awesome i want one........... green goblen bitch
7. Gizmoduck - October 20, 2008 11:47 AM
el oh el
8. cliche waste - October 20, 2008 11:47 AM
gayer than the segwey. at least he has a matching tie.
9. LSDiesel - October 20, 2008 11:47 AM
This might make a cool lawn mower, but other than that, it looks pretty useless. Props to the guy in the picture though, who looks a little late for work due to nailing a possum with some light forward thrust.
10. Thumperchica - October 20, 2008 11:49 AM
But can you weild a Zombie Apoc Sword while riding? I'm thinking you can't, seeing as how you have to look like a total douche while riding this, and we all know douche's wouldn't carry a sword...
11. Sharpie - October 20, 2008 11:49 AM
Like f***in seriously, they couldn't put a f***in seat on it?
12. Mcfeely Smackup - October 20, 2008 11:51 AM
Yet again, Geekologie is on the cutting edge of last year. Or more specifically, abut 5 years ago.
WTF? Who picks content for this place? It's not just old, it's "my grandma farts dust" old.
13. Bewilderment - October 20, 2008 11:52 AM
My light forward thrusts smell awful.
14. Sharpie - October 20, 2008 11:52 AM
I agree. even Back to the future had a cooler looking hover toy and that movie was made like 423452352 years ago.
15. Gizmoduck - October 20, 2008 11:53 AM
how fast is that guy going?!?
16. Sharpie - October 20, 2008 11:55 AM
haha @ 15 he must be a good actor cause for one, i dont know anywhere in the world where the scenery is pure white and the tie kills me. its floppin in the wind but yet hes at a dead stop, hahaha.
17. LSDiesel - October 20, 2008 11:56 AM
Haha, I just noticed the arrested development refference in the tags. Nice one GW.
*excpet its Gob, for future entrys.
18. mamadough - October 20, 2008 11:57 AM
i wonder if that would support a veggie in a wheelchair?
19. Daisy - October 20, 2008 11:58 AM
Fake!
This is about as fake as it gets. These lazy bastards didn't even bother to put in a fake photoshop background.
The hoverboard itself looks like Max's roomba from the movie Never Back Down.
20. Todero - October 20, 2008 12:02 PM
I wanna one. this personal hovercraft is amazing!!! And Daisy it is not fake, I saw a video on TV days ago.
21. Sharpie - October 20, 2008 12:04 PM
@20 Daisy thinks everything is fake. But i have to say i agree with her on this one. im going to add a background to this pic one sec guys.
22. LSDiesel - October 20, 2008 12:04 PM
I just thought of a way to make this cool. I'll give you a hint. Instead of using boats, inner tubes, and the lake, you could use your friends mustang, this hover scooter, and the highway.
Now THAT is real fun.
23. Gizmoduck - October 20, 2008 12:05 PM
@16
agreed.
that guy really needs to be tea bagged.
24. egleaves - October 20, 2008 12:09 PM
"Stopping is as easy as releasing the throttle and clutch controls and allowing the hovering scooter to gently coast to a halt over a distance of approximately twenty feet."
Holy shit! You better wear more than just a helmet if it takes twenty feet to "gently" stop this thing.
25. Dix Hauser - October 20, 2008 12:10 PM
I rode this like I rode your mom... with my penis.
Would you like to know more?
26. JRod - October 20, 2008 12:15 PM
wow... what a POS... i agree w/ (14) hoverboard was waaay cooler
27. Douchie Mc Bagman - October 20, 2008 12:26 PM
@25 - so you are saying this thing gives herpes too?
28. Sharpie - October 20, 2008 12:28 PM
heres my version of how it should look. now remember I'm at work so i dont have all the time in the world t clean up the edges and tone the color balance.
http://i35.tinypic.com/6dy24j.jpg
29. Jason - October 20, 2008 12:30 PM
If you're still in New Orleans tomorrow night, you have to go to the Maple Leaf Bar (Oak Street) to see Rebirth Brass Band play. It'll change your life. I swear.
30. Ash - October 20, 2008 12:34 PM
Wow that Blows, $17.000 for this P.O.S. Id rather Blow that kind of cash on my porn and booze supply for the zombie apocalypse. Although it's always a Blast Of Fresh Air to see us Thrust closer to having hover boards. Well some Air head is Hovering over my desk so i better Jet.
31. butterbee - October 20, 2008 12:34 PM
Red is the lamest color for manufactured products. This has always been true.
Evidently, avocado, white and brushed silver are the correct surfaces.
32. TOASTY - October 20, 2008 12:40 PM
GW coming to Nashville?
33. PeterD - October 20, 2008 1:50 PM
Who the hell is going to pay $17,000 for a converted lawnmower? You can buy a car for that price - a real one with seats and brakes and the ability to go really fast. This thing looks like they accidentally added a 0, $1700 I might be able to believe (barely) but $17k is just stupid.
34. Elmo - October 20, 2008 2:29 PM
THAT guy went to college
35. TehNewbHunter - October 20, 2008 2:39 PM
And we wonder why there's an energy crisis....
36. TE - October 20, 2008 2:45 PM
Who rides an Airboard in Dockers and a tie? Nobody, that's who.
37. Mcfeely Smackup - October 20, 2008 3:01 PM
The Airboard was featured in the opening ceremonies of the Olympics.
The 2000 Olympics.
Geekologie proudly welcomes you to 8 years ago...
38. Bernie Kosar - October 20, 2008 3:38 PM
This is old. Its so old I'm just finishing up downloading the pictures off a 2400 baud BBS. There were like 75 files to download and put back together to get the whole one, and number 38 had a problem. Its just finishing up now, and I can see the pictures on this interwebsite.
39. Robyn - October 20, 2008 3:53 PM
Rides on "level ground"? So what happens when the ground isn't level - does it just crash gently for 20 feet before stopping or what?
40. Zombienator - October 20, 2008 6:02 PM
Open a phonebook and look up a joint called Parasol's.
Go there before 8 and get a poboy with a side of hushpuppies, a guiness and 2 shots of jameson.
You'll understand why after you have done it.
Love.
41. Dix Hauser - October 20, 2008 8:30 PM
@27
Your mom said I couldn't get the H when she wasn't having an outbreak. Damn that woman!
42. Douchie Mc Bagman - October 20, 2008 11:52 PM
When she's having an outbreak just rail her in the stinker. Its the only way to be sure.
43. Lessssss - October 21, 2008 2:52 AM
I could have sworn the title read "Hoover Scooter". I could use this bitch to clean my floors.
44. assbastard - October 21, 2008 8:49 AM
If i saw this dick hover-scootering to my office I'd run out into the car-park with a shovel and un-level the terrain, just to show him what a cunt he is.
45. Jeff - October 22, 2008 7:26 PM
Curse you, Geekologie writer!
46. Dix Hauser - October 27, 2008 1:56 PM
I've f***ed so many moms, I accidently did it once to my mom's mom.