Oct 1 2008eBay: Castle Crashing With Your Own Ballista
Some crazy mothers in the United Kingdom are selling a full-size Roman ballista on eBay.
Yes, this is for real. We are selling a full-size Roman siege catapult (or ballista), which we believe to be the only one of its kind (for at least 2000 years).
The catapult was recreated by a team of experts, following all known records, as accurately as possible - and then successfully fired. It was created for the BBC, for a programme called Building the Impossible, in 2002. It was built by the timber-frame team at Carpenter Oak & Woodland.The ballista weighs approx 12 tons so postage or even buyer collection is not an option. Fully built, it is approx 7.5 metres tall and 8.5 metres long.
Originally, this cost over £120,000 to build - so we are only looking for serious bidders.
The bidding starts at £25,000 ($44,500) and I'm totally gonna buy it and lay siege to the neighbor's house. That'll teach the lazy asshole a thing or two about keeping his lawn mowed. PEW!
Hit the jump for a video of the beast in action and a link to the auction.
eBay Auction
Protect Yourself from Visigoths with Roman Siege Engine, Now for Sale on eBay [gizmodo]
Reader Comments
1. Miles - October 1, 2008 6:20 PM
It makes me moist just looking at it.
2. CaptainMorgan - October 1, 2008 6:20 PM
How much is shipping?
3. GOP is the sux - October 1, 2008 6:27 PM
I'm going to buy this and use it on the GOP hQ if they steal the election
4. LSDiesel - October 1, 2008 6:29 PM
It would be just like anything else. You'll play with it a lot when you first get it, and soon the excitment will wear off and will just be another Roman Ballista laying around the garage.
5. the_Goat - October 1, 2008 6:39 PM
I don't know 157 ft? a little disapointing. plus its lacks the swing and satisfing THWUNK! of a good catapault.
6. Mike Hawk - October 1, 2008 6:46 PM
PEW PEW PEWWWWWWW!
7. Test Tickles - October 1, 2008 6:59 PM
so much effort put into building such a brobdingnagian turd slinger. it sorta sucks brobdingnagian balls.
8. P05TMAN - October 1, 2008 7:20 PM
@4
Until your friend's come over, you get a little hammered, and then you whip it out and remember how freakin sweet it is. I was mostly talking about your penis though but I think the same applies to cool shizzit like this.
9. Antonio - October 1, 2008 7:28 PM
That video would be way more impressive if they had set that rock on fire. I they did that then maybe I'd be interested in purchasing it. oh. And it'd be cool if they lowered the price to something around $12. That'd be nice.
10. Foobar - October 1, 2008 7:40 PM
PEW pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click
PEW pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click
PEW pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click pull click
11. Elmo - October 1, 2008 7:56 PM
that's the final straw
I'm moving to England
12. Nacon - October 1, 2008 8:00 PM
Does that come with free shipping?
And if that's what they did long ago.... Made me realize how long it takes to set it up near by enemy's castle... Wouldn't the enemy walk up and stab them before it's up and ready? Or even use a freaking Bow and Arrows to stop them from completing it.
Don't you love stupidity in Human?
PEW! .......excuse me, can I have the ball back? Thanks! ......PEW!
13. sirrix - October 1, 2008 10:06 PM
It seems like it says that shipping is not an option and also picking it up is not an option... So... Real? No.
14. Atrides - October 1, 2008 10:47 PM
@5 Way to pay attention, It was 125 yards
15. Centurion - October 1, 2008 11:02 PM
"I don't know 157 ft?"
"And if that's what they did long ago.... Made me realize how long it takes to set it up near by enemy's castle... Wouldn't the enemy walk up and stab them before it's up and ready? Or even use a freaking Bow and Arrows to stop them from completing it."
Check again, that's 125 yards 375 feet. Modern bows would be hard pressed to make that distance unless I'm mistaken. And I can't imagine bows a couple thousand years ago were better. And comming outside to kill the crews setting it up, would involve engaging the entire roman army outside your city walls.
16. DanMazkin - October 2, 2008 1:47 AM
Castle Crashers FTW. You sir, just earned my respect.... again.
17. Ginormagantuan - October 2, 2008 1:52 AM
OH MAN! this thing is so kickass!
18. SmokingGirl - October 2, 2008 1:54 AM
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
And I fart in your general direction.
...Perhaps if we made a large wooden badger...*beating insues*
19. heynow - October 2, 2008 1:55 AM
@13
The auction says it will deliver to the seller - it's currently in pieces. Delivery is included in auction price but assembly would be an additional 17,000 pounds!
20. Ginormagantuan - October 2, 2008 1:56 AM
#8 calling another man's penis sweet is not by any means a cleaver comment.
21. LSDiesel - October 2, 2008 2:18 AM
I would love to put a dildo in this thing, run 2 miles away, pull my pants down, bend over, spread my cheeks, and wait for a little bit of heaven to pierce my behind.
22. assbastard - October 2, 2008 5:36 AM
Mine's bigger than that
23. john - October 2, 2008 6:50 AM
reminds me of a bad case of hemroids i experienced last year
24. Douchie Mc Bagman - October 2, 2008 8:10 AM
@19 - Doesn't the SELLER already have it?
25. you know who - October 2, 2008 8:35 AM
thats where they get you, they send you all the pieces some twigs and shit, but if you want tha manuel most people use as coffee coasters or to start that fire in the fire place you have pay another $30,000 us to get the stick A into B and B into F
26. John - October 2, 2008 10:05 AM
The thing will not fire ever again (read the ebay auction). Oh.. yes that's well worth a $50,000 starting bid! What's that? It doesn't work? Just super!
27. LSDiesel - October 2, 2008 10:36 AM
@21, I really love it that you admire me enough to impersonate me.
Either that, or I got too drunk last night and don't remember posting. But since I didn't get drunk last night, I think somone is having a bit of fun using my name.
Not only that, I can't run two miles. Damn cigarettes.
28. Aaron - October 2, 2008 10:56 AM
@20 Was that a Lorena Bobbitt reference?
"calling another man's penis sweet is not by any means a CLEAVER comment"
If it was, then yours was certainly a clever comment
29. commentzor - October 2, 2008 11:03 AM
Hrm, 125 yards, that means you should be able to shoot it through both sets of uprights on a football field in one shot. That's pretty cool. Especially if you manage to hit the opposing mascot.
Though.... does it come with a castle to crash? It better for that price!
30. Darren TheJunction - October 2, 2008 11:03 AM
omg
who they want to conquer???
31. aaronk - October 2, 2008 11:38 AM
Wait - does this mean that a British are selling weapons of mass destruction ?
we better invade the U.K. and put a stop to this before iran gets this and storms our castles.
32. Jo Mama - October 2, 2008 11:49 AM
I could absolutely picture Johnny Knoxville buying this thing.
33. SlowMonkey - October 2, 2008 1:05 PM
@18 It's not a migratory issue.A one pound swallow cannot carry a five pound coconut.........
34. SmokingGirl - October 2, 2008 1:49 PM
@33, are you saying that coconuts migrate?
35. Andrea - October 2, 2008 2:06 PM
Do you know that show, Little People Big World (if not, its a TV show about a Midget couple raising their family with 3..maybe 2...normal kids and one midget child) They had something like this on one of their episodes!! YOUTUBE it!! i even remember that one of the little kiddies was injured while using it!
36. SlowMonkey - October 2, 2008 2:27 PM
SmokingGirl (heart you) - how come ye to be a woman of science?
37. SmokingGirl - October 2, 2008 2:35 PM
SlowMonkey (heart you too) - What do you burn apart from witches?
38. Jo Mama - October 2, 2008 3:38 PM
Haha monkey said swallow. (33)
39. leon - October 3, 2008 5:38 PM
they state on ebay that the machine wont fire again.
40. Kirk - October 3, 2008 9:52 PM
What? it won't fire?? then why buy it if it doesn't work?
I had plans!
damn. guess I'd better cancel that loan.