Oct 13 2008$43 Japanese Stress-Relieving Milk
Stressed? Love milk? How about a $43 bottle of stress-relieving milk straight from the Lon-Lon Ranch?
Tokyo-based Nakazawa Foods will launch the "Adult Milk" line of products in October targetting "adults who live in a stressful society," the company said in a statement. The milk is taken from cows once a week at the break of dawn, as they discharge a lot of a stress-relieving hormone called melatonin during the night, the company said. It is said to contain three to four times as much melatonin as usual milk.
Mmm, stress-relieving milk. But $43? No way. So here's what you do: go to a strip club, a really seedy one. Oh, and one that stays open till 5am (when melatonin production is at its peak). Then pay one of strippers that just gave birth $2 for a taste. And, if it's legit, offer her a five-spot to fill up an empty beer bottle.
Japanese can now buy stress-relief milk -- for 43 dollars per bottle [akihabaranews]
Thanks to Karina, who agrees you should be allowed to suck straight from the teat for $1.
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Reader Comments
1. lurker - October 13, 2008 4:46 PM
epic comment from the gw
2. .Ben - October 13, 2008 5:03 PM
Would I buy milk from China lately? No thank-you.
3. K Lee - October 13, 2008 5:03 PM
Sweet Zelda reference.
4. K lee again - October 13, 2008 5:04 PM
I'm also glad that #2 has pointed out that China and Japan are the same country.
5. NES--still-the-best - October 13, 2008 5:07 PM
Good call on the Lon-Lon reference. I hope Ingo tries to hijack the company.
6. Davo - October 13, 2008 5:09 PM
Last I checked for $45 you could buy 10 jugs of milk and a bottle of melatonin caplets from the supermarket.
7. James - October 13, 2008 5:10 PM
sick mind, man =P
8. Sell Porn Make Money - October 13, 2008 5:12 PM
I would like to relieve some of my stress on her chin ;)
9. My Taint Itches - October 13, 2008 5:15 PM
Hello one and all!
First off, they should be selling porn stars breats milk for $43.
you'd sell way more titty milk that way.
Hey Sell porn Make Money, I cant check your website out now cause I'm at work, but what are you running? Key-hole or affiliates?
10. Hunter - October 13, 2008 5:16 PM
YAY MILK!!!!
11. commentzor - October 13, 2008 5:20 PM
Me and my buds can provide you with the best milk known to men (especially men on geekologie).
But you will have to collect it yourself --- you could give me a hand collecting that milk or something
if you know what I mean : )
8======D O-:
12. Davo - October 13, 2008 5:22 PM
I will sit on your face, commentzor.
13. My Taint Itches - October 13, 2008 5:24 PM
Motor boat my taint you bitches!!!!!!!!
14. Davo - October 13, 2008 5:44 PM
@12, who are you? I'm Davo.
And @11, that wasn't me originally saying I'd sit on your face, but if the price is right...
15. ahha - October 13, 2008 5:53 PM
I stopped considering consuming this stuff at "Adult Milk."
Relaxing cup of cream of Sum Yun Guy anyone? Guaranteed Fresh.
16. Bonefish - October 13, 2008 6:14 PM
And why is it so much more expensive to milk the cow in the morning as opposed to the afternoon? If im going to pay $43.00, it better be for 2 jugs, and they better be attached to a hot milk maid!
17. Elmo - October 13, 2008 7:47 PM
is it breast milk? wtf...
18. boxofwine - October 13, 2008 8:00 PM
I bet this milk f***s you up. You guys remember that fitty cent song, right?
" You can find me in da club, bottle full of warm milk... "
It went something like that. ...remember?!
19. gotchabitch - October 13, 2008 8:20 PM
i know something that comes in a s20 sack and provides a lot more relaxation than this milk ever can
20. ...in America! - October 13, 2008 10:13 PM
#17: It's breast milk from cows...
$43 is a little ridiculous. I'll take 20 of them.
21. dove - October 14, 2008 2:46 AM
Isn't "melatonin" the thing that is killing people in China right now? From the excess of it in the milk?
22. Tenchi059 - October 14, 2008 2:56 AM
"Adult milk"?? Ehm... let's just say that I wouldn't drink it. You know, just in case.
23. Daisy - October 14, 2008 8:04 AM
Fake!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell because the shadows are all wrong. It kinda looks like a scene from "Never Back Down III - Tokyo Drift"
24. Farva's Twin - October 14, 2008 9:10 AM
Interesting you would mention this. The hosebag got a faceful of stress releiving cream last night, and this morning she's in a happy mood, and getting me coffee, while I play on the interwebs.
25. MightyD - October 14, 2008 10:18 AM
Melatonin?? no, no that must be wrong. I'm sure they met melamine...
and #2...way to break the stereoptype of mistaking a japanese for chinese and vice versa...
26. havoc - October 14, 2008 4:23 PM
@21 No. you're thinking about malanine. Melatonin is a hormone which regulates cyadian rythms or basically your sleeping patterns.
My advice: just take a damn melatonin supplement and screw the $40 milk are they nuckin futts!!!
27. don - October 26, 2008 10:19 AM
actually this is old news from Dec 2007. The hot model is Liza from JJ magazine
http://japansugoi.com/wordpress/japanese-stress-relieving-adult-milk-from-nakazawa-dairy/