Sep 17 2008Woops: How Not To Dispose Of A Sex Doll
The best way to dispose of a sex doll is to hump it until it melts. But if you don't have superhuman stamina or a laser penis, your options are limited. So what do you do? Dump it like a dead hooker.
A 60-year-old man, having lived with his rubbery companion for a few years after his wife passed away, but when he decided to move in with his kids we felt like it was time to move on. He was too attached to chop his former lover up into pieces and toss her out with the trash, so he did what any respectable guy would do: stuck her in a sleeping bag, brought her to a remote, wooded area and dumped her.
Unshockingly, hikers stumbled upon the sleeping bag and notified authorities. One very brief post-mortem exam later, and the guy finally came forward to claim his former lover. He faces littering charges and future relations with a once-dead sex doll. You know, this reminds me of the time a dead hooker came back to haunt me. If I told her once, I told her a million times -- I'm still not paying you one-legged ghost of a whore!
Dumping Someone is Hard, Even if that Someone is a Sex Doll [gizmodo]
Related Stories
Asleep At The Keyboard: Candle 1, Laptop 0 (04/13/2009)
Steve Jobs's Obituary Accidentally Published (08/29/2008)
Fail: Two Nuclear Subs Crash Into Each Other (02/17/2009)
Oops!: Girl Loses Virginity, Texts Her Dad (12/10/2008)
ISS Orbiting Toolbag Filmed From Earth (12/08/2008)
Reader Comments
1. EROBOS - September 17, 2008 4:57 PM
FIRST
2. JaC - September 17, 2008 5:03 PM
"hump it until it melts" That is classic! I will be whispering that into someone's ear tonight.
3. Madgame - September 17, 2008 5:10 PM
I eat my dead hookers. Mmmmmm tasty
4. mrtnclzd - September 17, 2008 5:16 PM
finally game? didn't u mean 'came'?
5. chaosthirteen - September 17, 2008 5:25 PM
YES. How dare you mispel a word GW auther. I know you have tpyed hundreds of atricles, all for our enjoymint, but how dare you force you're poor typing skills on us. This one misstake is utterley unforgivible.
See that it doesn't hapen again.
6. Miles - September 17, 2008 5:50 PM
And this is interesting because.............................................?
7. Konkey Dong - September 17, 2008 5:58 PM
He didnt chop it up?? Thats a perfectly good, used sex doll! People are starving in Africa and this guy just ditches that gold in the forest? That son of a bitch.
Also, they strictly used sex dolls as stunt doubles in the movie Never Back Down.
8. guate6 - September 17, 2008 6:00 PM
"humping it until it melts" made me pee a little during my laughter...but only a little...being at work I am supposed to be presentable; had it been at home, I'd have gone all out.
I did this once, but to a carton of ice cream...oh the fond memories. I was sad to see it go...I wrapped it up in a sleeping bag, and by sleeping bag, I mean garbage bag. So it's just about the same...I never got cited for littering though.
9. illy McIllersen - September 17, 2008 7:59 PM
dude should have just buried it in his backyard.
in the middle of the night.
with the lights on.
or maybe a wood chipper.
10. Daisy - September 17, 2008 8:32 PM
Thats such a fake. This is part Weekend at Bernie's, part never back down. If you look closely you can se how the pictures were faked in photoshop. The shadows are all wrong.
PEW PEW PEW
11. theotheraaron - September 18, 2008 12:04 AM
i hate it when that happens
12. SmokingGirl - September 18, 2008 8:15 AM
People do silly things.
13. Momboelitist - September 18, 2008 10:35 AM
@5, your typing skills are bad enough.
Why am I being so cruel this week? Maybe because I lost my rubber doll of love.
14. Martin - September 18, 2008 11:30 AM
I saw something similar to this in Never Back Down.
15. Icon - September 18, 2008 11:35 AM
@10
Could you post a comment that doesn't include you playing out super old "jokes"? kthx.
16. Gingersnapz - September 18, 2008 11:59 AM
The guy dumps a dead hooker in the woods, and is faced with littering charges. That is too funny.
17. Parah Sailin - September 18, 2008 12:10 PM
@10 never back down comments on every post =NOT FUNNY !!! you got nothing better to say?? why don't you run off and I dunno...eat a bag of dicks.
@14 Epic fail ......thanks for coming out ......that was outrageously funny!!!! HAHAAAAAAAA. your gonna need 2 bags
18. Mr. Man - September 18, 2008 1:19 PM
I dropped my pop tarts in the parking lot.
19. Thumperchica - September 18, 2008 3:46 PM
@17 - Bag - O - Penis? I didn't know that product was still around... hmmm I needs me some wheels....
and a sleeping bag...
20. Gingersnapz - September 18, 2008 5:11 PM
The Dick bags are back?
Oh yeah, I think I got a coupon in "penny saver"
21. Muryu - September 19, 2008 8:27 AM
the only way to deal with a bag of dicks is a satchel of vaginas
Long Live The Flighty Zeus
22. ugg metallic boots - October 20, 2009 9:21 PM
It was a very nice idea! Just wanna say thank you for the information you have shared. Just continue writing this kind of post. I will be your loyal reader. Thanks again.