Sep 15 2008Uh-Oh: Large Hadron Collider Hacked, Countdown To Destruction Initiated !!
Last week a group of hackers busted all up in the Large Hadron Collider's network and did stuff. Okay, so they didn't really do anything. That we know about.
Calling themselves the Greek Security Team, the interlopers mocked the IT used on the project, describing the technicians responsible for security as "a bunch of schoolkids."
However, despite an ominous warning "don't mess with us," the hackers said they had no intention of disrupting the work of the atom smasher."We're pulling your pants down because we don't want to see you running around naked looking to hide yourselves when the panic comes," they wrote in Greek in a rambling note posted on the LHC's network.
Of course they're not going to disrupt the atom smashing. They have to make sure the LHC is fully functional before they bust back in. Then they'll use the system's time machining capabilities to travel back in time and fulfill man's quest to have sex with dinosaurs. Lizard people yo, lizard people.
Hit the jump for a video explaining the experiments conducted using the LHC.
Hackers infiltrate Large Hadron Collider systems and mock IT security [telegraph]
Thanks to Christian, Roberto and Shauno, all of whom would make great sexual partners in the minute before the world ends.
Reader Comments
1. mikagami - September 15, 2008 9:54 AM
they probably chronosphered into the past to make tons of money.
one of them now calls himself steve jobs.
first.
2. Madgame - September 15, 2008 9:57 AM
Hmmm...I wonder what dinosaur would have the best 'tang.
3. yomega - September 15, 2008 9:58 AM
i dont get it, no really someone explain it to me like i was a kid
4. The Superficial Writer - September 15, 2008 10:04 AM
One day you are going to have a sex with a dinosaur.
I believe in you.
5. Amaranth - September 15, 2008 10:08 AM
@1 you must be speaking of Lt.Dang
6. http://webescape.wordpress.com/ - September 15, 2008 10:12 AM
why would anyone f*** a dinosaur unless they were REALLY well hung?
7. Amaranth - September 15, 2008 10:23 AM
I wonder what the Pope and other religious groups think about the LHC since there is a chance that all religion will not make sense anymore after the mystery has been solved.
8. Thumperchica - September 15, 2008 10:27 AM
@ SW - I thought your mom was a dinosaur?
9. Wam ! - September 15, 2008 10:34 AM
The translation is inaccurate.
The GST did that only for local (i.e. Greek) purpose on the Greek hack scene, hence the message posted in Greek instead of English.
And the "high-school kids" they refer to are in fact Greek wanabee-haxorz
http://grayhatforensics.secbible.org/index.php/2008/09/13/greek-hackers-deface-cerns-lhc-related-website/
10. Farva's Twin - September 15, 2008 10:36 AM
@6 - Dinosaurs are so huge even the small ones have huge genetalia.
11. neko - September 15, 2008 11:07 AM
soo i gess looking up your ass make you go in time then ?
12. neko typo - September 15, 2008 11:07 AM
soo i gess looking up your ass make you go back in time then ?
13. Thumperchica - September 15, 2008 11:44 AM
Neko you have a few more than that one...
Should like more like:
So, I guess looking up your ass makes you go back in time then?
14. YAY! - September 15, 2008 1:17 PM
Geekologie writer, I'm sorry to shatter your dream of lizard people, but a time machine would only go as far back as when it was turned on. Sorry.
15. Nacon - September 15, 2008 2:16 PM
What made you think they actually hacked into their system? The machine is not hooked up on internet.
(idiots)
16. iota1 - September 15, 2008 3:13 PM
I'm going to crawl up inside a brontosaurus with some scuba gear and a flashlight.
17. Pas - September 15, 2008 3:36 PM
Nacon-- yeah i was gonna say the same thing, they only hacked their website or something you cant run the machine from the website, its just there to give updates and news,, geez, hackers sure have a lot of free times on their hands,,,,,
18. asdadas - September 15, 2008 3:41 PM
@14 Please elaborate
On a completely different note: my arm smells to semen, cat's fur and household bleach.
19. avsky - September 15, 2008 8:20 PM
wait - they're greek. they have computers over there? i thought they only had olives and ugly folk with lots of hair.