Sep 11 2008Buy Your Own Creepy Bioengineered Pet
GenPets are bioengineered pets specifically created to make petcare as simple as possible. They come in a state of hibernation, but awaken when the sleep inducing protein serum is removed from their nutrient supply tube. Some highlights from the FAQs:
Are Genpets Real animals? How?
Genpets are living, breathing mammals. Bio-Genica is a Bioengineering Company that has combined, and modified existing DNA to create the Genpets lineup. Genpets have blood, bones, and muscle; they will bleed if you cut them, and die if mistreated just like any other animal. The electronic components are only in the packages and are for basic life support, outside of the packages the Genpets are wholly organic.
Do Genpets feel pain?
Yes. However the Genpets have limited vocal chords so they will not create a large amount of noise when disturbed.
Can Genpets become angry or violent?
The Genpets are designed to be docile, combined with that, the nutrient packs keep them well tempered. If a Genpet were to be taken off of its nutrient pack it would die long before any behavioural issues could develop as the nutrient packs are also the Genpets sole source of food.
If you haven't guessed by now, GenPets are faker than my girlfriend's bra busters, but not nearly as fun to poke at in the car while she's trying to drive. GenPets a hoax and art exhibit by Adam Brandejs, and are meant to start an open discussion about the benefits and drawbacks of bioengineering. But they did a bangup job on making the website look believable, so send friends and family there to freak them out. Or, if you're really aiming to scar them, make em watch 6 girls + 2 pitchers.
More pictures after the jump, and stop searching you sicko, there is no 6 girls + 2 pitchers (I hope).
Thanks to David and Miss Rachel, who have both killed multiple pet rocks.
Reader Comments
1. Amy - September 11, 2008 12:59 PM
First! PEWPEWPEW
2. kerfluffer - September 11, 2008 12:59 PM
err...about 2+ years too late on this, but....FIRST!
3. mowzah - September 11, 2008 1:00 PM
th3rd!!111!!
4. Cacaroll - September 11, 2008 1:04 PM
that sucks
i really wanted one
5. happymat27 - September 11, 2008 1:08 PM
fifth doesn't count does it :(
6. Hunter - September 11, 2008 1:09 PM
"Do Genpets feel pain?"
"Yes. However the Genpets have limited vocal chords so they will not create a large amount of noise when disturbed."
GOOD, because the last thing a need is my 80 year old neighbors thinking there's going to be a nuclear strike (which, indeed sounds like little baby creatures crying... who knew?).
Haha funny stuff, but no.
7. Thumperchica - September 11, 2008 1:10 PM
The entire concept of a completely bioengineered anything creeps me out. We humans will eventually technologically phase ourselves right out of existance...
8. Christos - September 11, 2008 1:17 PM
Sweet! Finally something to put on the shelf next my bonzai Kitten!
9. notbob - September 11, 2008 1:17 PM
I think that the are rather creepy..... they dont look like anything familiar... atlest make 'em dog or cat or something familiar-ish, even if they are going to be fake....
Still..... .creepy....... not cute in the least bit.......
10. Foobar - September 11, 2008 1:22 PM
The idea of armies genetically engineered slaves has really appealed to me for a long time. I'd be able to get them to clean my house, and get me beers, I could treat them like crap and they would have to take it. When they get old you can return them for credit, since the army of slaves would eat food manufactured from the bodies of used up slaves.
Can you imagine being able to buy a sex slave with 3 fully functioning holes, no teeth a self lubricating ass and a genetic inability to get pregnant or to carry disease?
11. Thumperchica - September 11, 2008 1:32 PM
@ Foobar - Just stop by Riverside, CA - and get a "girlfriend"...
12. hairy testicles - September 11, 2008 1:46 PM
this is older than the crust in my grandmothers panties....
i remember this from like 8 years ago..
13. otterpop78 - September 11, 2008 1:49 PM
Heck First never actually counted.
This would be creepy as hell if it were real. I wonder if Dr. Moreaux could have gone this route.
14. Rachel - September 11, 2008 1:50 PM
Fake site.... and its wayyy old
15. Icon - September 11, 2008 1:50 PM
@2, 12
No one cares if you saw this before. Your post simply to say this was old and you saw it 8, 10, a brazillion years ago is pointless. Not everyone sits on the interwebz like you do all day. Some of us have important shit to do during the day than look for bioengineered pets.
I'm not one of them, but I'm sure there are some people out there.
16. Icon - September 11, 2008 1:51 PM
^--- and 14
17. bass - September 11, 2008 1:54 PM
dude this shit scares me cause it could happen
then what........some old creepy guy goes and trains them to eat real food and it starts to walk, and millions and millions of them start to take over the World!!
@foobar
wow dude........i would find that so nasty...
18. bass - September 11, 2008 1:58 PM
@ icon
you are a beast.....i love your comments=]]
19. Foobar - September 11, 2008 2:01 PM
@17 - Don't be such a pussy. You engineer the clones without the ability to reproduce and without the PEWPEWPEW geneand we are completely safe from clone uprisings.
Let them work hard and make them age quickly about 15 years in a month. you buy them when they are about a month old, and return them a month or 2 later.
Whats your problem?
20. bass - September 11, 2008 2:04 PM
...you thought things through.....i would want some slaves =]
ok your right lets make some creepy bioengineered guys to make me food
21. TWITCHY - September 11, 2008 2:06 PM
i particularly like the way that "Orange" model in the last picture seems to be developing some kind of sores, possibly because the "nutrient pack" is almost depleted? is "model" the word i'm looking for here? i think so.
22. Mcfeely Smackup - September 11, 2008 2:14 PM
@2
Try almost FOUR years old. Geekologie yet again remains on the cutting edge of stuff everyone else got bored with years ago.
23. Whitey - September 11, 2008 2:17 PM
Mr Geekologie writer.... w.r.t ure 6 girls and 2 pitchers... all i have to say is this...
rule 35.
24. Icon - September 11, 2008 2:22 PM
^-- and 22, see post 15.
I can do this all day.
25. Thumperchica - September 11, 2008 2:27 PM
Icon, that is so old, I saw that post way back when you did it at 1:50pm.
26. master of the PEWPEWPEW - September 11, 2008 2:32 PM
what the frak .. are they serious ,, that is nasty !!!
27. Major Kira's Baby Daddy - September 11, 2008 2:33 PM
@10 & 17
You guys need to rewatch ST:DS9. The Dominion wrote the book on genetically engineered slaves, like the Jem Hadar. The key is to make them dependent on a controlled substance that only you can provide, like ketracel-white (ie. cocaine).
28. TWITCH AKA DJ FAKE & EMCEE OLD - September 11, 2008 2:51 PM
Coky The Bear sez: "Only YOU Can Provide Cocaine For Your Cloned Slaves!"
29. Gingersnapz - September 11, 2008 3:05 PM
If these have been around so long, then you all know not to feed them after midnight because they will all turn into.....Sarah Palin
30. Sarah Palin - September 11, 2008 3:20 PM
It's okay to feed them after midnight... Really! Don't listen to a word this
^ ^ ^ deceitful harlot ^ ^ ^ tells you!
31. deceitful harlot69 - September 11, 2008 3:24 PM
FOILED AGAIN! Curses....
32. Willie - September 11, 2008 5:40 PM
The really nice thing is they taste like chicken! So go ahead and pull their plug. Then drop them in the deep fryer, YUM!!
33. chris - September 11, 2008 8:29 PM
doesn't anyone remember lovelump?
34. Hobbes - September 11, 2008 9:28 PM
My first thought was: PETA would have an aneurysm if this were true. PETA scares me.
35. MUSCLES - September 11, 2008 9:45 PM
bah!
this scared me as much as bonsai kittens did. and was about as real too.(-_-)
36. Doucheburger - September 12, 2008 3:41 AM
You're all a bunch of turdburglers
my god i hate you all
37. monkeymuscle - September 12, 2008 5:09 AM
If anybody believed these are real, they have to be the dumbest assholes on Earth.
38. Robyn - September 12, 2008 5:44 AM
They look gross, also ugly. Glad they're not real, because I sure wouldn't want to take care of one of those things. At least make it furry.
39. Adam Brandejs - September 12, 2008 9:30 AM
I'm really enjoying the comments this round.
for once it didn't revolve around "OH MY GOD R THEY REALZ?!"
also, ICON has renewed my faith in the species.
thank you.
40. Icon - September 12, 2008 12:42 PM
You are welcome sir. Cheers on the awesome website and exhibit with these little guys. Do you think they will ever be for sale as a novelty item? I'd love to own one just for giggles.
41. LaTara - September 12, 2008 3:02 PM
From the pictures they just look like they sit in their original packaging for their whole lifespan and you feed them through the tube. Even if it is a hoax, I want to see pictures of them moving around and stuff.
42. Icon - September 12, 2008 4:39 PM
@41
Not the brightest crayon in the box, are you?
43. yammy - September 14, 2008 12:35 AM
i actually know who is responsible for this integrated media project...they went to Ontario College of Art & Design....this sure was a good one..
44. Nintendoll - September 16, 2008 12:59 PM
Oh thank God they're not real!
I was nausiated there for a minute..
Funny writers ;)
45. Val - September 25, 2008 11:56 PM
The whole idea scares me shitless and I'm sure mankind will produce something like this one day. I would still be curious to buy one....
46. penni - September 26, 2008 5:28 PM
ok WTF ......................................
this is not cool ....to make animals like this ..,.
the posen who did this shude be exicutid
No realy this is not cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
47. Vindex - September 28, 2008 5:21 PM
"1. Amy - September 11, 2008 12:59 PM
First! PEWPEWPEW"
WTF?
________________________
This thing may scare my future son to death if he awakes on the morning and turns to see the sunshine on his window xD!
48. paula - December 26, 2008 3:13 PM
how can I buy a genpet?¿
49. DannyBoi - January 22, 2009 9:13 PM
I have really enjoyed reading all of your comments ! I lmao !!! Its really old news to most of you, but I only heard about it JUST TODAY from a co-worker! Hell, this comment might not even be posted, . . . thats how late I am !!! lol
50. carlos de lorenzo - September 17, 2009 3:07 PM
were i can buy a genpet??y wont to buy for 2 years,and i have never find a page in the web whit that information.
sorry for my english, is because i am spanish