Sep 18 2008Large Hadron Collider Gets New Name


The Royal Society of Chemistry in London recently held a contest to rename the Large Hadron Collider. The votes are in, and the doomsday machine's new name is *drumroll please*....Halo!

After sifting more than 2,500 responses, ranging from The Big Banger to Infinite Devil Machine and The Matter Splatterer, it has now selected a winner to rechristen the vast enterprise.

"Halo conjures visions of radiant beauty, power and wisdom. The circle of light reflects the collider's form; it is a crowning achievement of science and engineering. It also gives more than a nod to the experiment's importance to religious debate."

Visions of radiant beauty, power and wisdom? I get it -- like Master Chief, right?

Large Hadron Collider: Public chooses 'Halo' as its new name [telegraph]

Thanks to Kevo and Mikeeeeeeeeeeeee, both of whom swear they voted for the much catchier 'Oh Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck'

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Reader Comments


Oh, sorry. Thought I was on the superficial.

Microsoft is going to sue their asses off!

Halo. You gotta be f***in kiddin me. How much more f***ing pretentious bullshit can we take! Radiant beauty? ITS A GIANT METAL TUBE! Go shove it up your ass!

Boo .... they shot down my suggestion of:
Chocolate Hadron Covered Starfish...

Man, this is so dumb. I ALREADY MADE A SHIRT THAT SAYS "SCIENCE GIVES ME A RAGING HADRON"!!!!!!!!!!!! I will still call it it's proper name for now and evermore!!!!

halo....i am verry disapointed

I think it fits.

Since it does (though it will not) has the capability's to destroy the entire planet.

I wonder how many 14-year-old boys submitted that as a suggestion?

What was so bad with the Large Hadron Collider, anyway? A name like that is intimidating! No one will respect Halo, especially after they get teabagged and booted from the game.

@1, I'm sure that liberal douche bag misses you over there.

Hmm, I was hoping they'd name it the Armageddon Cheese Wheel. By the way, if that whole discovery of subatomic relationships doesn't pan out they could still turn it into an awesome ride at Disneyworld. Imagine what we could learn from all that puke colliding.

Halo. Hay-ay-ay-lo.
Haylight come and I wanna go home.

Only a matter of time before the UK gets smashed into Sweden, causing the new 4th Reich and Master race!

halo is a sick ass name yeah man

Too bad that 16 year-old Indian chick didn't wait for the new name before killing herself. She would have reconsidered.

"Oh, we are all going to perish! Oh the humanity of the - wait, it's called what? Halo? OH HELL YES! Fire that bitch up! Thank you, come again!"

I wonder if they realize that Halo, from the game, was designed to destroy all life in the universe. Now I'm scared.

You know what would be killer? Let the Mythbusters guys have at this thing for a week. They could test some crazy shit with it. Did you guys see the Water-Taser show? How the hell do I get a job like that?

I say they paint three parts of it red and call it the red ring of death.

How the hell did Matter Splatter not win?! Thats f'n brilliant!
H - Hadron
A - Apocalyptic
L - Life
O - Obliterator

my suggestion: L.H.C.

aah, reminds me of pwning sanghelli. does anyone else notice on halo 1 one of the marines sometimes shoots keyes in the back of the head when you're rescuing him?

I don't think many people actually know the storyline of Halo.

But if you think about it, the name is pretty appropriate in that sense.

Now we just need the flood to appear, then we can activate Halo!

gamers ftw.

Nope, I'm sorry. This has already been branded into my mind as the Hard-on Collider. I can't shake the image of lots of gay men in lab coats and hard hats, getting their sauce on at high speeds. KA-POW!

Don't tell me. The A.I. user interface is named Cortana right?

I had no problem referring to this thing as "CERN", "LHC", or "Large Hadron Collider".

I refuse to use its new moniker, likely suggested by a bunch of nasally, homophobic, 13-year-old console fanboys.

What was wrong with "Infinite Devil Machine"? That's badass. I'm going to make a band with that name.

Adding to religious debates? Are you insane, science people? There won't be time for religious debates when we are swalled into a black hole!!!

(Even though that is completely absurd and I highly doubt that it will ever occur...)

@24 - Scientific researchers are almost in 100% agreement that being swalled by a black hole is not survivable. They usually warn, once you go black, you never go back.

They wouldve gone with "Black Mesa Research Facility" but the red tape didnt clear up in time... I am serious! They already have Gordon Freeman on the staff:

Well it made me laugh anyways

the guys at bungie came from the future, they were just trying to warn us

I thought Herpes Feltcher was a better name.

Oh well, perhaps Microsoft can use it now.

Royal Society of Chemistry?
what've they got to do with it? this thing is physics.
i think the chemists are jealous of all the publicity the physicists are getting.


What about ConCERN?
oooh, wait BOOM!

LMAO, I like alot of those names.
What ever is within that circle is going to go BOOM, created the first Butt Hole of the Earth. They should have called it the Anal Avenger.

@32, Everyone knows that the butthole of the earth is New Jersey.

Right. Halo. Way to make something scary and ominous sound even more scary and ominous. Who the hell is funding this? Dr. No??

God dammit... just... god dammit.

You just know there was some gaming forum out there full of thirteen year old kids that stumbled upon this contest and initiated a crapflood of requests for the name "Halo".

Why couldn't the name have been scarier? Like "Colossus"? Or better yet, "The Breen Machine".

@4: I would have picked Chocolate Hadron Covered Starfish. It sounds tasty.

A bit of poetic partisan ranting before high energy collisions might begin in October…

is this wise, [17]
little white lies, [1][6][7][8]
one scientist cries, [3]
in time everyone dies,
but to win a Nobel prize… [6]

safety they tried to infer,
a disaster they tried to deter,
Wagner[5] and Sancho[1] and Plaga[4] and Rössler[2][3],
nobel their concerns were,
but their concerns CERN did spurn and slur[6]

risk CERN did censor,[1][7][9]
populace did get tenser,
holes blacker than crows? [2]
strange particle mass grows? [5]
earth to get much denser?

will Black holes we bake? [10][11]
would strange matter break?
could possible harm they make? [12]
did Steven Hawking blunder? [2][14][15][16]
could Earth be taken under?
will our world they take?[13]

or just secrets of nature to tame,
no black holes to grow from flame?
no strange matter condensing earth?
no unstoppable growth given birth?
or just no one left to blame?

law suits filed,[5]
scientists riled,[18]
collisions to begin,
nobel prizes to win,
god to have smiled? [17]
or earth to be defiled? [2]

Nuclear Safety Officer Walter L. Wagner seeks proof safety[5], Dr. Otto Rössler seeks proper refutation of his concerns[2] and Dr. Habil. Rainer Plaga proposes feasible risk mitigation measures.[4]


[2] Abraham-Solution to Schwarzschild Metric Implies That CERN Miniblack Holes Pose a Planetary Risk, Prof. Dr. Otto Rossler (2008)

[3] A Rational and Moral and Spiritual Dilemma - Otto E. Rössler (2008)

[4] On the potential catastrophic risk from metastable quantum-black holes produced at particle colliders - Dr. Habil. Rainer Plaga Rebuttal (2008)

[5] US Federal Lawsuit Filings - Walter L. Wagner (2008)

[6] CERN?s Dr. Ellis tells only half of the story - (2008)

[7] CERN wins battle at Wikipedia, LHC history scrubbed, TWO MOSQUITOES

[8] Culture of Superiority? (June 1, 2008)

[9] Wikipedia LHC Page is Being Altered by CERN (July 9, 2008)

[10] The case for mini black holes, CERN Courier (2004)

[11] Threats Won’t Stop Collider, (Sep 9, 2008)

[12] Particle Accelerators, CERN, and Doomsday. Prof Shahn Majid (2008)

[13] A 1-in-1,000 Chance of Götterdämmerung, Will European physicists destroy the world? Ronald Bailey | September 2, 2008

[14] Do black holes radiate?. Dr. Adam Helfer (2003)

[15], On the existence of black hole evaporation yet again, Prof. VA Belinski (2006) [16] On the Stability of Black Holes at the LHC, M. D. Maia, E. M. Monte (19 Aug 2008)

[17] Peter Higgs launches attack against Nobel rival Stephen Hawking, TimesOnLine (Sep 11, 2008)

[18], We must be wary of scientific research, Gerald Warner, (10 Sep 2008)

@26: the Gman is also there. theres a pic somewhere on the latest lmao pics thread that I started and postal nicked.

crowbars at the ready for the resonance cascade, guys!

oops forgot: lmao pics thread is on the fast threads bit on facepunch.

The Big Banger sounds kinda appropriate... as my nickname!
get it?

all comments aformentioned are useless and tired.

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