Sep 8 2008Epic Fail: How Not To Clean Your Fishtank

Fail.

Holy Carp!
Stupid people deserve stupid comments...

Troy Mclure anyone?

Later his girlfriend commented how his privated smelled fishy, and accused him of cheating on her.

El Basto - Troy Mclure had a thing for large lizards, not fish

I had absolutely nothing to do with this particular diagnosis, however this is an incredibly common cause of acute urinary retention, most notably in single men between the ages of 35-55, and especially among perverts.

#6: "...incredibly common..." nice

I'd heard of parasites doing this...but fish?? Damn, this kid's hardcore stupid/perverted. Craziest thing I did was...well...not this by far.

@7 - Good start, I believe it would be funny to list the craziest/dumbest/perv thing we've done - you all can go first... lol

I just can't...I mean, dear god.....I'm speechless....what's worse, this incident, or the "explanation" the kid gave to doctors? Hehehehe he'll be the talk of the village for a while. "We don't want our daughter marrying him. He's the fishpisser."

I think 'epic fail' has run its course already...

@5 Nope, El Basto's right - it was fish. Don't remember his fishtank house?

And his bumper sticker.

I'm Troy Maclure, you may remember me from sexual perversions such as the public bench rape and urinating a fish backwards..."

Darn, I fail... I am no longer a Simpsons fan in good standing...

That is insane....

and I want to hear the story about the turtle??

the dreaded candiru strikes again!

Wow... Well.. Ya know... I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say that this person first managed to "clean" a bottle of some strong alcohol product first... [Don't care about his age!!] And then decided it was time to clean that fishtank of theirs... Just they didnt have anything to hold the fish in so they came up with a genius idea...

This reminds me of "Jackass: The Movie" with the toy car...

When I was a kid this girl that lived on the next block stuck a frozen hot dog up her hoo ha and it broke off. I remember seeing the ambulance going up the street to get her.

How do I know this? Her brother who I hung around with on occasion immediately rode his bike down the street telling anyone who'd listen.

How did it affect me: got me all excited...sexuuuallly speaking.

Holy Pee Stream Batman!!

Okay, I'm not sure this is real. I can't make out the fish in the picture. Can you please circle it and some "pew pew" type?

Patent's name doesn't rhyme with Bichard Jere, does it?

Mombo, riddle me this...why was the ambulance called for a broken off frozen hot dog? Just like with tampons, just because you lose the "string" doesn't mean you can't fish it out with your fingers.

And in other news, the vagina still remains to be a bastion of confusion and awe among menfolk. And, oh yes, this story is silly in a perverse and sad sort of way.

I don't get how this is possible. How big is his penis opening/how small is the fish?

It wasn't even the candiru fish! It was a Beta. What the hell.... Those things don't swim fast at all. At least, not with enough velocity to swim up a urine stream.

Poor fish. With that kind of erotic action, you'd think the kid would've at least bought it dinner first...

what a retard why would you want to stick a fish up your penis

Fake. First, I can't see a fish and second, without a pair of long hemostats there would be no way to shove the fish up a male urethra. The canal isn't even straight. And third, the pain would be horrific. You guys barely tolerate a tiny Foley catheter thats all lubed up. And Fourth, Christ there would be blood all over the place. Fake.

Yes. The Internet Journal of Urology is a totally trustworthy source of information and scientific writing.

it's a good thing he dosn't have pet orcas.

Long life to photochop, it's doing miracles today.

Lemme finish my snake in the brains IRM scanned one, i'll post that on the cnn.

ha ha that kid's a fucking pervert

@2: hah! I see what you did there.

And wow, smokingirl, youre enough of a bitch to make us all think you're actually a man, considering the rules state that there are no girls on the internet. DURR.

Oddly enough, a visit to the Internet Journal of Urology turns up no such story. Shocking, I know (if your birth certificate has yesterday's date on it), but there it is.

According to the linked story above, the fish in question was said to be about 1/2 inch across. Now we all brag about length, but there is no way the inside diameter is anywhere close to 1/2 inch, even in an adult. The result of the forcible introduction that would have been required: blood everywhere and the scream heard around the world. Passing a 'kidney stone' is said to be the most intense pain there is, and the typical kidney stone is WAY under 1/2 inch in diameter. Further, there would not have been urinary retention unless the fish got stuck along the way, which is what would have happened (the force required to insert it would have killed it). Ergo, no fish in the bladder.

This story should be written up in the Internet Journal of FAIL.

@29 - Thank you, I was wondering if my awesome witty-ness-ocity was wasted here, I am redeemed to lamely comment again!

i cringe, therefore i am.

all I can say is the stupid F***er deserves what he gets for doing stupid things...

You think that's bad? Read this: http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=797

you can put all kinds of stuff into your penis. see:

http://www.populationpaste.com/img/2006/08/bugbites/centipenis.mov

"Thanks to Jennifer, who has a friend that had a similar accident with a turtle."

I like turtles!

@3: totally Troy Mc Lure. LOL.

Must have been a small fish to get up there!