Sep 26 2008 Safe For Work Porn Is Still Highly Questionable

Note: Possibly still NSFW

This is an allegedly safe for work porno video. It's supposedly safe because they've cleverly covered up all the action with cartoons. I dare say I found it more stimulating than the real thing. Especially the pinball scene. RAWR!

Diesel: SFW XXX [creativity-online]

Thanks to Jonathan and Patricio, who, despite the tips, insist they're not perverts.

Sep 26 2008 Sarah Palin Is All Ears In Corn Form!

Wheeler Farms, near Toledo, Ohio, created a Sarah Palin corn maze in a 16-acre field. As you can see, it looks like a pretty shitty maze. Sadly, that didn't stop me from getting lost and circling her lapel for two hours.

A face from ears: Palin is carved into cornfield [boston]

Thanks to Richard, who would look devilishly handsome as a corn maze.

Sep 26 2008 Awesomest Jesus-Themed Song EVER

Not just a friend, but a great drinking buddy. Isn't that right, Big J? Dude, you're puking on my shoes.

Youtube

Thanks to Walrus, who's totally BFF's with the man upstairs. You know, the creepy one that never leaves his apartment.

Sep 26 2008 Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack

Yves "Fusion Man" Rossey successfully crossed the English Channel with a jetpack today. This is one small pew for man, one giant PEW PEW PEW for mankind.

Rossy, a pilot who normally flies an Airbus airliner, crossed the 22 miles between Calais and Dover at speeds of up to 120 mph in 13 minutes, his spokesman said.

Awesome. And as a guy who has made his girlfriend wear a jetpack during sex, I've got to tell you: don't do it from behind.

Hit the jump for a video.

Continue Reading " Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack "

Sep 26 2008 Sleep Standing Up With The Vertical Bed

Artist Jamie O'Shea's Vertical Bed combines two of my favorite things: sleeping. Standing can go f*** itself, because I hate it. I like lying down.

The Vertical Bed won't save you from poking and prodding, but with sunglasses on, noise-canceling headphones, a neck-pillow for comfort, and an umbrella to keep you dry, that's a pretty good start. The Vertical Bed will keep you upright thanks to hooks attached to the shoes that will lock into subway grates, and braces and concealed harnesses that keep your legs and back supported. It all conveniently folds down into a briefcase.

You know, I tried to sleep standing up once, but when I started to doze I fell over. To my credit though, I was pretty drunk -- on life! Just kidding, it was the shine.

The Vertical Bed: Power nap in the middle of the street [dvice]

Sep 26 2008 Wait, What?: An Underwater Lake

So apparently there are lakes of super-saline water at the bottom of the ocean.

During the Jurassic period the waters here were shallow and became cut off from the ocean. The area soon dried out, leaving a thick layer of salt and other minerals up to 8km thick. When ocean water returned after the region rifted apart, the super-saline layer at the bottom of the Gulf became an underwater lake. Now brine, which is continually released from a rift in the ocean floor, feeds the lake.

Now I know what you're thinking -- there has got to be magic involved. But you're wrong, my friend. This is pure sorcery.

Hit the jump for a longer David Attenborough clip about the lakes.

Continue Reading " Wait, What?: An Underwater Lake "

Sep 26 2008 Wicked Case Mod: Computers As Wall Art

Designer Fredrik Perman decided to jazz up the lobby of his new office with a little custom built computer casage. There are actually six computers in the setup, designed for serious rendering.

The acrylic case doesn't have a top and sides to add some ventilation, and a battery of six, upward-blowing LED-lit fans keep everything cool. That monitor allows access to the render farm from the lobby (though there are several other terminals on the other side of the wall, all linked to the unit by a KVM switch).

Not bad. But you know what would look even better than a computer tacked to the wall? Deez nuts. It would hurt, but it's true.

Hit it for several more.

Continue Reading " Wicked Case Mod: Computers As Wall Art "

Sep 26 2008 Metal Gear Solid Rubber Band Gun

Some guy went and made a rubberband shooting replica of Solid Snake's Silver Wolf pistol from Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. The weapon was made from cross-drilled stainless steel plates and even has a laser sight and flashlight. I want one -- just imagine the damage you could do with that thing! Upwards of not any.

Hit the jump for a video of the gun in action.

Continue Reading " Metal Gear Solid Rubber Band Gun "

Sep 25 2008 Play The Drums -- On Your Shirt!

That's right folks, ThinkGeek is selling this $30 Drumkit T-shirt so you can rock out with your high-hat out anywhere you go.

Hit the drums on this shirt with your finger and they play through the built in speaker... simple but amazing. With 7 different drum sounds you're ready for a personal drum solo on your chest.

Hell yes, personal drum solo on my chest! Any of you lovely ladies interested in a duet?

Product Site

Thanks to Brad and Sarah, who don't need drums to know how to rock.

Sep 25 2008 Best iPhone Application EVER

paiTouch, an iPhone application created by Japanese blogger Technohippy, is a virtual breast. You can poke and prod it all you want and it kind of jiggles around. It's actually pretty crappy. You can test it out here, just click and drag the cursor around. I've got to admit: if this is what touching a booby is like, I'm not that excited about it anymore. Now a penis....JK!

Virtual Breasts, Coming to Your iPhone [inventorspot]

Thanks to Phil, who touches enough of the real thing to not need a stupid app.

Sep 25 2008 This Is Where Babies Come From

They just crawl out the end of this thing.

Note: Possibly NSFW depending on your employer's "watching videos of kids crawling out the end of a giant inflatable pecker" policy.

Youtube

Thanks to Romeo and Stephanie, who both agree a giant vagina would have been much more appropriate.

Sep 25 2008 The Last Thing You'll Ever See

Imagine: You're comfortably asleep when suddenly you're startled awake by this creepy bastard leaning over the foot of your bed. What do you do?

A: Bleed, he just stabbed you.

NTUST's humanoid robot walks into your nightmare [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who, for two tips in one day, wins a special prize.

Sep 25 2008 Google Makes Google Timeline For Birthday

To celebrate its 10th birthday, Google went and made themselves a little interactive timeline so interwebbers like ourselves can see the company's progression from no-name to world dominatrix. What does the future hold for Google? How the hell should I know, I'm no fortune teller. But I am a bank teller -- come hold me up!

10th Birthday [google]

Thanks Pi Kappa Phi, I drank all your beer.

Sep 25 2008 Wearable Airbags For The Clumsy, Elderly

Japanese manufacturer Prop is now selling wearable airbags for old folks and people who just can't stand for long.

Its newly announced personal, wearable airbag looks like a cool fanny-pack and weighs a mere 1.1 kilograms (2.4 pounds) -- but springs forth in one-tenth of a second when sensors detect you're headed for the floor, protecting your head and ass with two inflated bags that contain 3.9 gallons of gas each.

Unfortunately, safety comes at a price. And that price is $1,400. Are grandma's delicate bones worth the cost? Hint: Duct tape and pillows.

Wearable airbags keep the elderly from hitting the ground so hard [engadget]

Thanks to Julian and Ross, who both threw themselves down the stairs wearing bubblewrap jackets and lived to tell about it.

Sep 25 2008 Wicked 20-Sided Die Tattoo (Plus Bonus!)

Check it out -- if I jiggle my arm it looks like the die is rolling!

Hit the jump for a blue arm of death tattoo.

Continue Reading " Wicked 20-Sided Die Tattoo (Plus Bonus!) "

Sep 24 2008 OLD!: How To Sell Samurai Swords

Now that's what I call a samurai!

Youtube

Thanks to Ben, who once kicked Leonardo's ass in a ninja fight.

Sep 24 2008 PETA To Ben And Jerry's: Use Breast Milk

PETA, in their unending quest to make ice cream even more delicious, is urging Ben and Jerry's to start using human breast milk instead of cow milk.

On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I'd like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry's. Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers--and cows--would reap the benefits.

The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.

Well, they do have a point there, the breast is best. But still -- human breast milk ice cream? I dunno....

UPDATE: LEGIT! Two scoops of Mammary Madness please!

The Breast Is Best! PETA Asks Ben & Jerry's to Dump Dairy and Go With Human Milk Instead [PETA]

Thanks to The Superficial Writer, who, despite the tip, is still a major dick.

Sep 24 2008 Yikes!: A Creepy Pinhole Camera Skull

This pinhole camera was made out of a skull by artist Wayne Martin Belger, mwho may or may not dress entirely in black and scrawl pentagrams on the floor of his apartment in virgin's blood.

This work entitled Third Eye, a study of "the beauty of decay," uses precious metals like titanium and silver to expose the memory of time onto film, sheering the 150 year old skull of a 13 year old girl.

Wow, it doesn't get much creepier than that. Well, unless the skull still had a jawbone and said "Say cheese!" Jesus, I just gave myself goosebumps.

Hit the jump to see a scary picture taken with the thing.

Continue Reading " Yikes!: A Creepy Pinhole Camera Skull "

Sep 24 2008 Woops: Guy Mishandles Antique

I remember seeing this a while ago, but for those of you who have yet to witness its awesomeness, here it is: some guy showing off his one of a kind antique recording. Warning: he says shit and the host of the show made me punch through my monitor. But still, totally worth a watch.

Old man breaks one of a kind antique [googlevideo]

Thanks to chaosthirteen, who agrees there's just nothing funnier than another person's misfortune.

Sep 24 2008 Wicked LEGO Star Wars Diorama

Flickr user roguebantha_1138 made this wicked LEGO Star Wars diarrhea.

Welcome to Mustaneer! (it's not as distant as Mustafar) Basically it's a Rebel attack on an Imperial base and mining installation. About a year in the making, on and off, it is 75 by 125cm and all built in 1:200 scale. I've taken LOADS of pictures (OK, I've taken too many) but I've tried to write something interesting with each, so if you have a bit of spare time join me on a journey to a galaxy far far away....

Hey, I've got some spare time AND I love journeys. Great selection, got my last pair of kicks there.

Hit it for a few more and a link to the massive gallery.

Continue Reading " Wicked LEGO Star Wars Diorama "

Sep 24 2008 We're Saved!: LHC Shut Down Temporarily

The Large Hadron Collider won't be doing any colliding until next spring due to a magnet failure that allowed a ton of helium to leak out one of the tunnels.

Cern said the most likely cause of the equipment failure was a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's magnets. This connection melted during testing of the machine and caused a huge leak of super-cool helium.

We're saved! There will be a Christmas after all! Just kidding, the robots are coming. Let's just say Thanksgiving won't be so thankful this year.

On a side note, your friend the Geekologie Writer is going through a really tough time right now (divorce). Please don't give up on him, he'll be back to rocking the shit out of shit as soon as possible.

Collider halted until next year [bbcnews]

Thanks to Flash, Josh, Daniel, and Dave, who all know the only good collisions happen at the demolition derby.

Sep 23 2008 Thinking Makes You Fat

Thinking makes you fat.

It turns out that performing mental tasks, like trying to solve problems while working at a computer, stimulates the appetite so much that people tend to eat significantly more calories than they burned while performing the "knowledge-based" tasks.

You know what else makes you fat? Blogging. NOM NOM, bitches, NOM NOM!
Does Thinking Make Us Fatter? [abcnews]

Thanks to barney, living proof that being dead sexy makes you skinny.

Sep 23 2008 For Kids!: Plushie Animal Head Mounts

There comes a time in every child's life when they want a unicorn. And now you can get them one thanks to the $80 Plushkill Forest Unicorn mount! If unicorns aren't your kid's thing, don't fret -- they also come in deer, rabbit, moose and pony varieties. Collect them all! Remember, nothing teaches children about the preciousness of life better than a dead animal's head.

Official Website

Thanks to Britany, who agrees that teaching your children to hunt unicorn at an early age is just as important to their development as regular whippings.

Sep 23 2008 Oak Bar Hides Sweet Video Game Setup

Let's face it, drinking and video games go together like drinking and firearms -- a match made in heaven. So why not build yourself a video game bar? This oak bar hides four joysticks in a fold down panel in the front (picture after jump), which are connected to a PC and the flatpanel on the wall. Not a bad setup, but I'm sticking to my shooting gallery. POW POW POW POW meow POW. Oh shit.

Hit the jump for two more pictures.

Continue Reading " Oak Bar Hides Sweet Video Game Setup "

Sep 23 2008 Penny Gets First Change(!) In 50 Years

To commemorate the 200th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's birth, the U.S. Mint is redesigning the penny and releasing four new designs. That's them in the picture.

The designs show milestones in the life of the 16th president: the Kentucky log cabin of his birth, his youth working as an Indiana rail splitter, his service at the State Capitol in Illinois, and his effort to preserve the union during the Civil War as depicted by a half-finished image of the U.S. Capitol dome.

The first of the coins debuts Feb. 12, with the others following in three-month intervals. The release date, besides being Lincoln's birthday, comes a century after the production of the original Lincoln cent in 1909.

Eh, I would have gone with a more traditional image -- like standing over a dead bear with a plasma rifle, puffing on a stick of dynamite. You know, the classic Lincoln pose.

New Lincoln penny designs unveiled [cnnmoney]

Thanks to Alex, who thought these were the new Lyle Lovett pennies.

Sep 23 2008 Cribs: Geekologie Writer Edition

I guess things got a little out of hand.

Hit the jump for more of the disgustingness, as well as a link to a whole gallery.

Continue Reading " Cribs: Geekologie Writer Edition "

Sep 22 2008 I Just Pray To God She's Joking

Mark my words: I'm never, ever, driving again.

The Dumbest Woman On The Highway [break]

Thanks to Calypso, who's seen a tow-truck before.

Sep 22 2008 DIY: Your Own Sweet Laser Tag Setup

Let's face it, no other sport has as high a PEW PEW PEW factor as good old fashioned laser tag. Unfortunately, a quality rig is pretty expensive. So what's a boy to do? Simple, make your own.

This homebrew LaserTag game uses a cheap laser pointer combined with a toy gun and a PIC16F628A microcontroller that connects up to a piezo transducer which is used for producing various beeps. The 5 pin header plug at the bottom of the device is used to connect to a programmer for in-circuit programming.

As cool as this system looks, there's just no way it compares to the feeling you get when braining an opponent with a Mag-lite.

Build your own laser tag system [make]
via
Homemade laser tag makes laser tag that much dorkier [dvice]

Sep 22 2008 I Want A Mirror Background On My Monitor

This is old. And sadly hilarious. I can't believe poor Wekweti can even use a scanner. In case you haven't noticed, it's stupid people day here on Geekologie.

How turn computer monitor into mirror? [yahooanswers]

Thanks Roberto, but it will work if I take a picture, right?

Sep 22 2008 Crazy Rainbow In The Sprinkler Conpiracy

This is a video of a woman who ate a bunch of lead-based paint chips filming a rainbow that appeared in her sprinkler. She's convinced it's a government conspiracy and they're pumping something into our water/oxygen supply to run tests on us. Needless to say, I think she's on to something.

Youtube

Thanks to chaosthirteen and Stevie, who both agree with me when I say where's my tinfoil helmet?

Sep 22 2008 Text Messaging Lowers Your IQ 10 Points

In a recent New York Times article, technology trend forecaster Aul Saffo claims that texting actually makes a person dumber.

The act of texting automatically removes 10 I.Q. points. "The truth of the matter is there are hobbies that are incompatible. You don't want to do mushroom-hunting and bird-watching at the same time, and it is the same with texting and other activities. We have all seen people walk into parking meters or walk into traffic and seem startled by oncoming cars."

whatev, dats a fkng li.

Text messaging lowers your IQ by 10 points [textually]

Thanks to Silver Sided, who swears texting-sex is the wave of the future.

Sep 22 2008 S. Hawking Unveils Scary $1.8 Million Clock

Stephen Hawking recently unveiled this $1.83 million clock at Corpus Christi College, Cambridge. The frightening timepiece took seven years to build and is a tribute to John Harrison, allegedly the world's greatest clockmaker.

The bizarre Corpus Clock visually explains that it relies on grasshopper escapement to function, and to let you know that time can never be regained once lost, that beast on top actually gobbles down time every 60th second. Oh, and every hour, on the hour, the sound of a "chain dropping into a wooden coffin" is played to really pound home the "time is a destroyer" concept.

Wow, creepy. Can you imagine this thing hanging on the wall in your house? I can -- I'm rich as hell!

Hit the jump for a very worthwhile video of the thing in action.

Continue Reading " S. Hawking Unveils Scary $1.8 Million Clock "