Aug 25 2008Two Vigilante Ninjas From New Jersey Try To Stop Drug Dealers, End Up Going To Jail
That isn't one of them in the picture. That's a hot female ninja, completely unrelated to the story, but a highly appropriate graphic nonetheless. Anyway, 22-year old Tadeusz Tertkiewicz and 19-year old Jesse Trojaniak were arrested in Clifton, New Jersey, for being the world's worst ninjas.
Calling themselves "Shinobi warriors," the men wore black SWAT-type vests and carried knives, throwing stars, swords, nunchucks and a bow and arrows.After being arrested early Wednesday in a car on Route 46, the men said they were delivering warning letters to drug dealers and drug users urging them to stop their "impure" activities.
The letters said those who persisted would be stopped with "justified yet, merciful force."
Wow. From an interview with one of the ninja failures:
First we tried sneaking around the bushes, but we couldn't because the bushes were too thick. So we went for the more subtle, just, um, like hit and run approach, where we'd just run in there, slap the letter, and just run out of there as quickly as possible.
Listen, I've got news for any of you would-be Shinobi warriors out there: If your stealthy mission is thwarted by a bush, guess what? You aren't a freaking ninja. Go home and nunchuck yourself in the vagina till you pass out.
Hit the jump for a picture of one of them, along with a link to the news video.
Video
via
Ninja Vigilantes Busted In N.J. [cbs3]
Thanks to Michael and SaltyDeezNuts, both of whom are grade A ninjas that could kill you in your sleep. Well, at least Michael could. You might stand a chance with Salty if you catch a whiff of his sodium-y nads while he's sneaking in the window and club him with a nightstand.
Reader Comments
1. whistle - August 25, 2008 10:25 AM
I need to know more about this.
The picture, that is; not the story.
2. Jenn - August 25, 2008 10:25 AM
This shit is super funny. I read this yesterday and thought about how stupid you would have to be to get arrested in a car for pretending to be a ninja... Ninjas are supposed to be stealthy!... and not retarded.
3. Wee - August 25, 2008 10:28 AM
This kid looks like he would get his ass shot easily.
4. JohnnyIrish - August 25, 2008 10:31 AM
Epic ninja fail.. However good thing the cops got to them before some drug dealer beat the living shit out of them if not killing them outright.
Hilarious though. These kids remind me of that crazy joker kid who stole posters.. Maybe they can fight him.. in jail.
5. Ashetaka - August 25, 2008 10:36 AM
@1 You are right. Yes the geekologist provided a nice article but he failed to see the true meaning......The chick in the photo is from where and why has the geekologist hated us so bad to taunt us with this but yet not give us the link to the obviously a porn website.
6. El Basto - August 25, 2008 10:47 AM
Epic fail.
Although not as epic as not including the links of the first picture.
7. pillow pants - August 25, 2008 11:07 AM
"i shot and killed a werewolf once, but by the time i got to the carcass, it had already changed back into my neighbors dog..."
8. Anonymous - August 25, 2008 11:07 AM
http://jeguebr.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/ninja-do-funk.jpg
9. Popadopolis - August 25, 2008 11:12 AM
Thank you, Anonymous. I'm not at work or anything where someone important could be behind me at any time. I lied, I am.
Still, thanks. I will be home to pleasure myself to that in about 9 hours.
10. Icon - August 25, 2008 11:32 AM
Where do I sign up? It's been a long lifetime goal to become part of the coveted Shinobi Warrior clan. I went to the tryouts last year but my audition was thwarted by three paperclips, a pine cone, and a 1967 VW Beetle.
11. sh3lby - August 25, 2008 11:36 AM
While the thought of vigilante ninja justice gets me all moist inside, the reality of the situation makes me go a big rubbery one.
12. Sell Porn Make Money - August 25, 2008 11:44 AM
NEver thought I would say this but... I would like to bang that ninja doggy style!
13. FreddyK - August 25, 2008 11:53 AM
Agreed.
Need more info on the ninja chick.
However, I never knew ninjas wore high heels...
14. beefytee - August 25, 2008 11:58 AM
Freddy, only the best ninjas do.
15. Momboelitist - August 25, 2008 12:14 PM
@12, you want to bang Jesse the ninja?
On the lighter side, can you imagine those two in the county lock up? They'd better not drop a throwing star.
16. pj - August 25, 2008 12:14 PM
can i just say that i live in NJ, 5 minutes from where these guys came from...they do not represent NJ people lol
17. Administration - August 25, 2008 12:18 PM
@ icon
Tryouts for the 2009 Shinobi Warrior clan will be held at the Dallas/Ft. Worth Holiday Inn on Route 25 on September 16. No need to register, just appear out of nowhere. Oh, and please bring a pair of hedgeclippers.
18. Icon - August 25, 2008 12:27 PM
@ Admin
You'll see me there.... OR WILL YOU?!?!1?!?1!1!!
19. Ashetaka - August 25, 2008 12:47 PM
This is a trend that women need to start picking up. I think the Arabs had it right. They cover ALL of their women's faces. Look at this ninja chick. She could be a butter face but BAM through a mask on the hoe and poof all you see is the bountiful booty and you just want to jump it. Think back for a second all of those butterface girls and just imagine them in a ninja costume. Makes yah cry a lil right?
20. A Gay - August 25, 2008 12:47 PM
The girl in the picture is Crystal (aka Page 73 Girl). You can find all of her picture sets (non-nude, you deviants) on www.biggestletdown.com .
21. A Gay - August 25, 2008 12:48 PM
I should warn you, though. After looking at her pictures, normal girls will never be attractive to you ever again.
22. Sugacookie - August 25, 2008 1:01 PM
Methinks those two gentlemen have been reading too much Watchmen
23. Dullard - August 25, 2008 1:11 PM
Checkout a comic called "Kick-Ass". Beat downs like you would expect for a real-life "superhero".
24. DigitalT - August 25, 2008 1:54 PM
Damn I get a kick of the comments just as much as the story itself. haha!
25. c45j - August 25, 2008 2:00 PM
lol.. i though that quote was made up by the geekologie writer.
.then i watched the video.
26. Thumperchica - August 25, 2008 2:12 PM
Wannabe Ninja Goofball Losers- Epic Fail
Icon's tryouts for Ninja status, made me LOL at work... I think my underlings suspect something...
27. NastyBedazzler - August 25, 2008 4:14 PM
I f***ed a ninja once. It's something I'd do again should the opportunity present itself.
28. shannon - August 25, 2008 8:27 PM
a true ninja wouldn't get caught
29. kaleb sanctuary - August 26, 2008 2:08 AM
prisoner 1: So, what got you into this shit hole?
prisoner 2: Stole a car.
prisoner 1: How bout you kid?
kid 1: Pretended to be a ninja.
kid 2: same here
prisoner 2: That's bad-ass!
that's gonna be so embarrassing in jail. If I got caught trying to be a vigilante ninja, I'll probably make up other excuses of being in jail.
30. Somebody - August 26, 2008 3:16 AM
INT. COUNTY JAIL
SHOWER SCENE
Scene1:
Ninja#1: "Aw wtf?!! I dropped the soap bar..."
Inmate: "Here comes the nunchuck! Now bend over!"
Ninja#1: "OH SHIT!"
LMAOOOOOOO
31. SlowMonkey - August 26, 2008 2:59 PM
@17 I'll be there. But only to find a date or two. Or three. And I won't give them my real name. I'm going to tell them my name is SmokingGirl.
32. Seckman - September 13, 2008 10:10 PM
Well well; at lest they tried, verry bad but tried, there is more of us out here that need your help, the ninja thig sucks but the public can bring these leaches on addiction down, they feed on us so lets eat these f***ers hearts! or just wound them. there is more of us than them!
33. Daniel - September 18, 2008 1:04 PM
lol oh, tinted glasses, Jesus, someone call his Mom!
34. Doozier - January 13, 2009 2:18 PM
Come on... These guys are not even asian, let alone ninjas...
This is the reason why I don't believe in god.