Aug 29 2008Steve Jobs's Obituary Accidentally Published
For those of you who haven't heard, Steve Jobs's 17-page prewritten obituary was accidentally published after somebody at Bloomberg accidentally chose the wrong button after doing some routine updating to its information. Woops. You can read the whole thing after the jump, it's nice and wordy and names Jobs as Apple Co-Founder and Arbiter of Cool Technology. Bitchin' title! You know, this story really got me thinking -- what will people say about me when I'm dead? You think I'll get 17 pages?
FUTURE UPDATE:
Geekologie Writer, Writer of Technology, Penises, 39
The Geekologie Riter was a monster fucking asshole. Thankfully, now he's a ded one.
Wow, fourteen words and two misspellings. I'm killing myself.
Hit it to read all the amazing things Jobs has done.
Steve Jobs's Obituary, As Run By Bloomberg [gawker]
Thanks Craig and Whitney, may you never have to read your own obituary. Unless you're a ghost or something and want to, in which case please don't haunt me.
Reader Comments
1. Daisy - August 29, 2008 11:52 AM
Frist Bitches!
2. ShitBitch Carl - August 29, 2008 11:54 AM
Wow, you read fast.
3. Daisy - August 29, 2008 12:01 PM
Sure do.
I especially enjoyed the part where he described Apple products as turds...
At least thats what I thought when I read how he described the ipod mac and iphone as parts of a 3 legged stool.
4. CaptainMorgan - August 29, 2008 12:08 PM
Jobs will probably make a comment like: "Well, they were using a PC" and shrug the whole thing off. What else could he do? I guess he could die or something...
Regardless, I really admire Mr.Jobs. Awesome guy.
5. Derek - August 29, 2008 12:26 PM
PEWPEWPEW!
6. Popadopolis - August 29, 2008 12:44 PM
This is OLD! So OLD. This happened like... hours ago. That's OLD news. Sheesh, let's talk about something a little more recent, please? Steve Jobs is OLD. Apple is OLD.
OLD
7. ShitBitch Carl - August 29, 2008 1:08 PM
Hahaaa, stool, turds. That brought some strange images to mind. Mine only have two legs and often do the splits.
8. Daisy - August 29, 2008 1:18 PM
I love turds.
9. guate6 - August 29, 2008 1:22 PM
Writer: good one, I lol'ed a bit. Good one.
I'll read the obituary later...just wanted to say that.
10. delic8 - August 29, 2008 1:57 PM
who's tyranny. seriously. i hope they fix that.
who is tyranny, anyway?
11. David Gerard - August 29, 2008 2:06 PM
"They don't call it the Jesus Phone for nothing."
12. David Gerard - August 29, 2008 2:06 PM
"They don't call it the Jesus Phone for nothing."
13. David Gerard - August 29, 2008 2:07 PM
http://notnews.today.com/2008/08/29/zombie-steve-jobs-has-system-upgrade/ - "They don't call it the Jesus Phone for nothing."
14. Tyranny - August 29, 2008 2:16 PM
First Paragraph:
"He was TK."
OMG Steve Jobs was killed by his own team?!
15. jared - August 29, 2008 3:26 PM
Really??? 39??? do really expect us to believe that?? If your gonna lie, go for the gusto and say your 24 and convincingly heterosexual!
16. rogerthat - August 29, 2008 4:58 PM
@14
ROFLCOPTER SOI SOI SOI!!!
RIP Mr. Jobs
17. Nacon - August 29, 2008 7:17 PM
Fake... it was no accidental, they staged that release for merely marketing attention, which is also known as ADVERTISING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stupid motherfucker Apple-tards.
18. Anti-Globalism - August 29, 2008 11:44 PM
Major achievement in life:
Convincing people that a computer brand is a luxury lifestyle choice that makes them Different(tm), and consequently selling inferior hardware to legions of soulless hipsters.
19. Antonio - August 30, 2008 10:54 AM
@ 18
lol. different (tm)
20. True Fact - September 3, 2008 11:35 AM
Steve Jobs is immortal. This obituary is clearly an attempt to make him seem human.