Aug 1 2008I Called It!: The Apocalypse Is Nigh
When running from a robot, you only have to run faster than your children. Which should be easy because you tied their laces together, right? If you answered, "I would never!", then it's been nice knowing you, but you're robot fodder. Anyway, remember the post a while back about Robokiyu (pronounced Robokillyou), a robot used to extract the wounded in emergency rescue situations? Well, unsurprisingly, the robot is now going to be used to eat the dead instead of the living. Why? Because everybody the robot came to "rescue", no matter how badly injured, actually tried crawling away from the damn thing. Can you blame them? Absolutely not. Like my grandpa always told me, "I'd rather have all my red run out than let one of them thar robotech sums of bitches nom nom my gray spaghetti. You understand what I'm tellin' ya, boy?" I'd shake my head "no", but he'd keep right on, "Good, now fetch the hootch and I'll tell you about the time I caught your pa humpin' a tractor."
Weirdest Robots Ever -- Corpse-Eater Bot [asylum]
Thanks Adam and MoMan, now let's take that mother out.
Reader Comments
1. JohnGalt - August 1, 2008 1:21 PM
First! and I'm getting my electric field set up to combat the robots!
2. Julian - August 1, 2008 1:42 PM
OLDasurus Rex! but awesome. If i had one i would drive that shit to work everyday while pounding down beers. fitting it in the elevator would be a bitch but I'm sure if i had it eat everyone else in the elevator it would fit.
3. Tom Frost - August 1, 2008 1:52 PM
you posted this before but i'm not mad. here's the link.
http://www.geekologie.com/2008/04/its_official_and_its_not_good.php
4. Julian - August 1, 2008 1:58 PM
@3
Its kind of an "incase you forgot" post. Thank you Geekologie writer for reminding us of the still imminent robot uprising.
5. Dan - August 1, 2008 2:01 PM
It's all good. Some of us cba to go back and look for that article anyway
6. MightyD - August 1, 2008 2:01 PM
Stay away from them green cookies!!
7. spiced ham - August 1, 2008 2:11 PM
# 3,4,5 Geekguy linked to the old post in the story - the highlighed part. It s an update of the story not the same one. READ!
8. Jason - August 1, 2008 2:13 PM
Sooo old.
9. Tom Frost - August 1, 2008 2:14 PM
I can't read I can only look at pictures.
10. Julian - August 1, 2008 2:16 PM
ditto
11. Icon - August 1, 2008 2:20 PM
*arms EMP bomb*
Come get some bitches!
12. Sell Porn Make Money - August 1, 2008 2:21 PM
sweet
13. suzy blue balls - August 1, 2008 2:49 PM
now if only this thing could drive me to work after it painfully drags me out of bed with its cold metal claws.
14. SmokingGirl - August 1, 2008 3:09 PM
I'd still be more worried about the invisible zombies if I were you...
15. Deyf - August 1, 2008 3:33 PM
Soylent Green is People!!!
16. kblood - August 1, 2008 5:17 PM
i glad i'm not the only one who made the soylent green connection... :)
17. Chris - August 1, 2008 5:27 PM
Its Wall-E's evil brother
18. Jess - August 2, 2008 12:39 AM
Here's the official Tokyo Police Department release/statement.
http://www.tepia.jp/archive/16th/ex_pdf/roboq.pdf
19. Augustin - August 2, 2008 12:36 PM
"I'd rather have all my red run out than let one of them thar robotech sums of bitches nom nom my gray spaghetti."
That is the best sentence I've read in the last month.
20. Joel - August 3, 2008 4:42 AM
#17 Chris
You are right this does look like Wall - e ...... wonder if it spits out a compacted human when it's done.
21. Metalix - August 3, 2008 7:24 AM
OM NOM NOM NOM!
22. dliup - August 3, 2008 12:35 PM
They should just put the dead in a bodybag and come out through the other end. (Robots might call it a bag for the meatbag)
But looks like after it eats you, it'll take a break and pour itself a beer...
http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/04/20/robot-scooper/