Aug 12 2008OMG, I Made It: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Many people think Geekologie is written by a computer preprogrammed with bad jokes or a bunch of fairies strung out on magic dust. Well, that isn't entirely true. You see, I came out of a vagina just like many of you did -- but haven't seen one since. Ladies, that was a birthday present hint. So yeah, I'm a year older today. But that's not gonna stop me from Geeking the ologie for all you lovely people! No way. In fact, I have a very special birthday surprise coming up in a few posts, which you will most certainly find worth celebrating. Also, seeing how my girlfriend will clearly forget today's significance, I was wondering if one of you could, I dunno, maybe pick up an ice cream cake?
Related Stories
Eff 2008, Bring On 2009: Happy New Year! (12/31/2008)
Birthday Wish: I Wish For A Real Wishosaurs (08/12/2009)
It's About Freaking Time: An Invisibility Cloak (08/11/2008)
BOOM!: Massive Underwater Mine Detonation (10/19/2009)
Reader Comments
1. Kevin - August 12, 2008 9:29 AM
Happy Birthday, man!
2. whistle - August 12, 2008 9:29 AM
Feliz compleanos!!!
3. El Basto - August 12, 2008 9:31 AM
Happy birthday!
4. SBoy - August 12, 2008 9:32 AM
Since Hedonistica, I've been a regular to your site. I love it. You are my hero! Happy B-day geek!
5. She's A Shadow in the Riot - August 12, 2008 9:35 AM
Happy Birthday!
6. tfleenor - August 12, 2008 9:36 AM
Happy Vaginal Exit Day.
7. Thumperchica - August 12, 2008 9:36 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! What did you wish for?
8. zach - August 12, 2008 9:37 AM
happy age day, thanks for the wonderful internet distractions.
(and reminding me how much i liked star wars before the prequels)
9. Ace - August 12, 2008 9:41 AM
Gratulerer med dagen :)
10. Felipe - August 12, 2008 9:44 AM
Joyeux anniversaire!!
11. Acosta - August 12, 2008 9:44 AM
Even on your Birthday, your making my work day less boring..
HAPPY B_DAY
12. Amanda - August 12, 2008 9:46 AM
Why I fired my secretary:
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.
(Sickipedia Joke)
13. Amanda - August 12, 2008 9:46 AM
Oh and Happy Birthday :-p
14. shorty - August 12, 2008 9:52 AM
happy birthday to youuuuuu
happy birthday toooo youuuuuuuu
happy birthday dearrrr geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
(and many mooooooooooore)
I have to say, it's the most enjoyable birthday wish i've given in quite a while. you deserve a good one. :-)
15. Julian - August 12, 2008 9:55 AM
@12
I had heard that joke before. Its funny because you know its happened at least a few times to some poor bastards. (Happened to me once. I played it off like a pro: "damn, its hot in here. Hi honey, hi kids . . . isn't it hot in here?")
Happy Birthday you sexy man you! Don't forget to apply for medicare!!
16. Trevor - August 12, 2008 9:55 AM
uh, happy birthday. Conficius say: Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.
17. Song - August 12, 2008 9:57 AM
Happy birthday. We also share this birthday with Sir Mix A Lot.
18. Tyson - August 12, 2008 10:05 AM
Happy birthday!
19. geeked out - August 12, 2008 10:05 AM
hope you get some today! (be warned that a third celebrity will die soon!)
20. WTB - August 12, 2008 10:05 AM
Happy birthday. :)
21. Jan - August 12, 2008 10:07 AM
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
22. J3553 - August 12, 2008 10:09 AM
С Днем Рождения из России! (На самом деле я просто использовать переводчика.)
23. Sell Porn Make Money - August 12, 2008 10:09 AM
@12. funny stuff.. thanks for the intro to that website.
24. goldenbadger - August 12, 2008 10:10 AM
Happy Birthday you insane person!! : )
25. Afiq - August 12, 2008 10:10 AM
Happy Birthday Mr. Geekologie you're a year older now! I wish you would link us to your Facebook or something, we think you're cool but we never seem to see or know you at all. Hope you get something cool for your birthday!
26. bigjerm - August 12, 2008 10:10 AM
happy birthday. i know you're another year older, but i'm glad to see you still have the maturity level of a 12 year old.
27. Tai - August 12, 2008 10:17 AM
I have never made a post till today because I never found a post I felt was significant enough for me to comment on so without further adieu HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
28. http://www.webescape.wordpress.com - August 12, 2008 10:18 AM
Happy birthday King of Geekdom, how old are you by the way?
29. StlDragoon - August 12, 2008 10:20 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
^_^
YES # 27, AWESOME
^_^
30. Nathan - August 12, 2008 10:22 AM
Happy Birthday. Now get your head outta your ass and do some real writing!
31. Dr_Freak - August 12, 2008 10:29 AM
Since Anticlown, it seems that you've mellowed & matured like a good red wine... Same as me! However long it's been, let's hope it's that long again!
Cheers! And Happy birthday my old & never seen friend...
32. doodle de doo - August 12, 2008 10:32 AM
ZOMG! lulz!
Happy Birthday to the extreame!
RAWR!
33. OMgirl - August 12, 2008 10:32 AM
Tanti auguri!!!
hahaha see how your blog is read worldwide?
now the question is.. how does it feel to be somewhat famous and still being a virgin? jajaja just kidding.. i know all that porn sites have made you a man!
34. Nelson Ribeiro - August 12, 2008 10:32 AM
Happy Birthday to the best website writer ever! Thanks for making my days a little more awesome!
35. SlowMonkey - August 12, 2008 10:35 AM
Warmest wishes Geek Guy,
I hope an escaped porn star wanders into your neighborhood and mistakes you for a producer.
36. Badcopnodonut - August 12, 2008 10:39 AM
Happy Birthday and thanks for all the life-changing, productivity-destroying knowledge...
37. El Basto - August 12, 2008 10:43 AM
Feliz Cumpleaños!
38. zetterlund - August 12, 2008 10:47 AM
Grattis på födelsedagen!
ps. you make my life complete
39. http://www.webescape.wordpress.com - August 12, 2008 10:53 AM
#33 - He has a long standing relationship with a Tenga flip hole... and why not?
Seriously man have a good day, get pissed on pear cider, fall off a kerb and try not to pass out in any side streets.
40. Eru - August 12, 2008 10:55 AM
Pazdravliayu!
Good luck in your future years.
41. Ptentacle - August 12, 2008 10:55 AM
Happy Birthday! Congratulation on another year of not killing yourself. If you're like me, you don't know how you do it every year. And, you can also make a birthday resolution like I do! I tell myself "Me, this year I swear I'm going to commit suicide." Then I reply, "No you won't, you big coward." And at some point this all boils down to me getting drunk and eating a cheeseburger. Again, happy birthday!
P.S. And I'm not even emo.
42. BRANDON - August 12, 2008 10:58 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for making me laugh out loud at the office every day.
43. enigma - August 12, 2008 11:05 AM
Herzlichen Glückwünsch zum Geburtstag!
Thanks for helping me trim my productivity (down) at work - what would I do without you?
44. Ted - August 12, 2008 11:06 AM
Ahhhh Happy Birthday. xoxoxoxo (i dont know what 'xoxoxo' means but i see the kids doing it).
45. Maarten - August 12, 2008 11:08 AM
Van harte gefeliciteerd from Holland!! Thanks for making the boring days at work seem less boring. And I'm sure you and the Superfical writer will be hitting the bottle like a Panettiere familiyreunion. I won't expect any posts until you claw your way out of your delirium, so make it last!
46. ShitBitch Carl - August 12, 2008 11:11 AM
I heard that if you pew pew enough you stop aging. But you've had another birthday, and we're that much closer to the robot/zombie apocalypse, so you gotta step it up a notch and stave that shit.
Happy barfday!
47. Ryan - August 12, 2008 11:13 AM
We have the same birthday - I came to the site this morning and thought that by some psychic powers you were congratulating me on another successful year of survival!
Going Strong Since August 12, 1979.
48. Brendan - August 12, 2008 11:26 AM
Happy Birthday! You should celebrate by doing Fish's mom!
49. Carolina - August 12, 2008 11:33 AM
happy birthday!
50. Ben - August 12, 2008 11:33 AM
Here's to another and hopefully many more years of Geekologie goodness.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
51. Robyn - August 12, 2008 11:34 AM
Make it memorable and come back with funny anecdotes or at least pictures of yourself with the beer bong.
52. Mari Pili - August 12, 2008 11:42 AM
It's my birthday, too! 37!
Up there is my blog. Congratulations, vagina guy.
53. Amaranth - August 12, 2008 11:51 AM
you keep me from getting bored at work all the time, you da man! HAPPY BDAY! :D
54. Taikon - August 12, 2008 11:57 AM
Ha den äran på bemärkelsedagen!
Och ha en fortsatt nördig dag.
55. Gilberto - August 12, 2008 11:59 AM
Feliz Aniversario!
Hope in receive some: "Happy Birthday Mrs President, happy birthday to you!"
56. Adrienne - August 12, 2008 12:06 PM
Happy Birthday :D
57. Jacob - August 12, 2008 12:09 PM
Happy Birthday and all that Jibba Jabba
58. Ken - August 12, 2008 12:10 PM
Happy Birthday dude, thanks for all the entertainment breaks at work ;)
59. mike - August 12, 2008 12:13 PM
59th! Happy Birthday!
60. SuperFrank - August 12, 2008 12:14 PM
1.) You were a c-section so chances are you still haven't seen a vagina.
2.) If you want your gift you've got to pick it up in-person.
3.) I'll call later today.
Happy birthday brother.
61. Aroinak - August 12, 2008 12:22 PM
Happy B-day, dude! Thanks for giving me something to keep me up in the geek news, and something to help me waste time at work with!
62. Chelis - August 12, 2008 12:26 PM
happy BEER-DAY!!!!!
I bet that's better than a lousy cake. Six pack and pizza. The perfect birthday present if you ask me.
63. el - August 12, 2008 12:36 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
You're horrible stories about your ex/gf/wife/ex-wife make me feel a little bit better about my life every day. Thanks for that! Keep it up! hahahah.
64. suzy blue balls - August 12, 2008 12:39 PM
wow, all these people that have kept quiet for so long. all inspired by the Geekologie Writer's bday to leave a comment. HAPPY BIRTHDAY
65. Nate - August 12, 2008 12:41 PM
Happy birthday Geekologist!!
66. Icon - August 12, 2008 12:46 PM
Happy birthday!
67. Vanessa - August 12, 2008 12:51 PM
Happy Birthday!
68. Crayola Nightmare - August 12, 2008 12:52 PM
Indeed happy birthday Geekology Writer... and may the force be with you..
69. Eddy - August 12, 2008 12:55 PM
Happy birthday. <3
70. JamesRidge - August 12, 2008 12:57 PM
HOLY CRAP!!! I have the same birthday as the Geekologie writer!!! does that make ME the geekolgie writer?
71. Angel Mass - August 12, 2008 1:08 PM
Feliz Cumpleaños! happy Birthday!! your geekeness is one year closer to END! just kidding pal, have a nice day falalalaaaaa lalaaaa laa laaaaaa
72. austin - August 12, 2008 1:09 PM
happy birthday! i'd send you a picture of my own vagina...but...I don't exactly have one. sorry man. but hey that's what the internet's for right?
73. Profe550r p00n - August 12, 2008 1:19 PM
Happy birthday, man. I love you. Geekologie is my homepage. What happened to Hedonistica? Stay cool geekologie writer! HAGS! ;)
74. Momboelitist - August 12, 2008 1:23 PM
I did write a bunch of nasty stuff, such as:
Kiss my a$$ birthday boy
I hope you swallow a lit birthday candle and choke
You are one year closer to death
You are a lousy blogger
You smell like cheese
I hope you get a set of legos and they catch fire and melt
Take a dirt nap
I hope you get spam for your birthday....both kinds
I would be more impressed with the Superficial guy's birthday
But then I decided that wouldn't be very nice so, Happy Birthday.
75. THE MEXICAN GIRL - August 12, 2008 1:25 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY COME TO MEXICO AND I WILL GONA LET YOU SEE MY VAGINA AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT ;) AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT OF CURSE
76. Emi - August 12, 2008 1:33 PM
Happy Birthday you sexy little monkey!
77. greg - August 12, 2008 1:39 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM BRAZIL!!!
78. Girl - August 12, 2008 1:47 PM
Very happy birthday, Geekologist!!! :)
79. Thumperchica - August 12, 2008 2:02 PM
@75 - CURSE being the operative word in that particular comment... cochina...
Happy Birthday again - and best wishes for untainted tang
80. guate6 - August 12, 2008 2:11 PM
80th! :p
Happy Birthday writer. I have a handle of bourbon, some strippers, and a large icecream cake shaped like you defeating all the machines during the robot apocalypse and being the victorious hero. I said this because Since it does have ice cream...by the time it gets to you and it might be a soupy mess, I figure you could recreate it with your imagination as you drink your dessert :)
81. Delicos - August 12, 2008 2:15 PM
Bonne fête
82. Mysterious M - August 12, 2008 2:16 PM
Happy Birthday, My Love!!
83. gypsy - August 12, 2008 2:30 PM
Happy Birthday! Thank you for all the laughs!
84. Grandmasta Bu - August 12, 2008 2:32 PM
Happy Birthday!
85. NES--still-the-best - August 12, 2008 2:51 PM
Happy birthday! You always have my utmost gratitude for the work you do; one of my absolute favorite sites.
86. Moolarg - August 12, 2008 3:17 PM
Happy Birthday Dood.
Hope you have many more!
87. guate6 - August 12, 2008 3:21 PM
Holy crap, how bad is #75's nether regions if she's offering that as a "BIRTHDAY PRESENT OF CURSE"
She must really dislike you :(
Oh well, she can curse other guys, unless you're into that.
88. asdadas - August 12, 2008 3:23 PM
Not as good as Hedonistica.
89. FatB - August 12, 2008 4:02 PM
Happy Birthday, man! You light up my life, but never give me hope to carry on...
May erectile dysfunction stay far away from your increasingly numerous Bdays.
90. your girlfriend - August 12, 2008 4:04 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! See, I didn't forget. By the way if you give me some money I will gladly pick up an ice cream cake for you. With "Sorry such a broke ass ho" spelled out in icing. Do you think Kroger's will put that?
91. Lokuztk - August 12, 2008 4:07 PM
Happy B-day you bastage!
92. BlightedArt - August 12, 2008 4:33 PM
Merry Christmas!
93. slartibartfast - August 12, 2008 4:48 PM
Happy birthday crazy man :)
thanks for the laughs
94. Natalie - August 12, 2008 5:01 PM
Happy birthday!!
I never wanted to date a geek until i started reading your blog <3
95. Jenny, Bloggess - August 12, 2008 5:05 PM
Happy Birthday, my special friend.
96. Samanthaaa - August 12, 2008 5:13 PM
Happy B-day. (:
97. Rick - August 12, 2008 5:20 PM
Happy Birthday you dirty bastard. You are awesome!
98. kiki - August 12, 2008 5:29 PM
happy birthday!!!
thanks for entertaining me on a daily basis.
:D
99. msondo - August 12, 2008 5:45 PM
Happy Birthday! It's actually my birthday today as well. :>
100. DJ CJ - August 12, 2008 5:56 PM
Damn I'm late.
Happy b-day.
Keep up the good work. If you happen to score some vagina you should dedicate a post to informing us all how that worked out for you.
Keep up the good work!
101. etr - August 12, 2008 6:02 PM
ha! You have a birthday AND you celebrate it. What a dork.
102. Nikki - August 12, 2008 6:15 PM
I'm sure I'm late but happy birthday anyway =).
I would do you.
Hard.
103. Becca - August 12, 2008 7:18 PM
YAY for you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! if i had money, i would totally send you a nice geeky cake :)
104. AgaMulach - August 12, 2008 7:43 PM
Maligayang Kaarawan!
105. Cheatachu22 - August 12, 2008 7:57 PM
Happy birthday, your immaturity keeps us all laughing. When the worst happens, we can count on you to make fun of everything.
106. Keywii - August 12, 2008 8:01 PM
Happy Birthday! Great cake. x x
107. nick - August 12, 2008 8:36 PM
happy birthday
108. cure4daITCH - August 12, 2008 11:18 PM
Happy birthday!
109. Dalten - August 12, 2008 11:24 PM
Happy birthday! I hope you become even funnier than you are now.
110. Kelly - August 12, 2008 11:57 PM
Happy Birthday to us!
111. Katrina - August 13, 2008 1:55 AM
Happy Birthday! Hopefully your girlfriend didn't forget and you got what you wanted.. lol
112. WOW OMG!!! - August 13, 2008 4:02 AM
happy (belated) birthday! will a pew pew pew make up for it?
113. superficialdiva - August 13, 2008 10:35 AM
Happy Birthday! I will have an ice cream cake for you.
kisses
114. IT-journo - August 13, 2008 11:20 AM
С прошедшим, чувак! :) С удовольствием читаю твои посты!))
115. mrtnclzd - August 13, 2008 2:16 PM
feliz cumplea;os all the way from Mexico. =)
116. Malicious Lingerer - August 13, 2008 8:09 PM
Happy Belated Birthday geekologie writer!! Thanks for all these years of delighting us with stories on the latest gizmos and robot invasions!
Best wishes for the best writer ever
117. Sharon - August 13, 2008 9:21 PM
happy belated bday! i hope u had a great one!
118. tylerdurden - August 14, 2008 9:56 AM
I r late.
Happy Birthday, bud!
Ireland loves you. Well, I do so that's all that matters.
119. Tom Prestigiacomo - August 14, 2008 4:40 PM
H.B.T.Y.
H.B.T.Y.
H.B.D. GEEK,
H.B.T.Y.
120. Tom Prestigiacomo - August 14, 2008 4:50 PM
H.B.T.Y.
H.B.T.Y.
H.B.D.G.
H.B.T.Y...
121. Elyse - August 15, 2008 2:13 PM
Oh wow, I am so late - because I haven't been at work for the past few days.
Happy belated birthday, Geekologie Writer! I hope it was a good one, and that you got all the vagina you could possibly ask for. I'd offer mine, but it's taken. ;)
122. roland - November 5, 2008 3:53 PM
One of the best file searchers and download centers is here http://newfileengine.com/
Find al the necessary information there!
123. Nirojan - June 13, 2009 3:52 PM
HOLY SHIT! Is your birthday august 12? SO IS MINE! WTF? LAWL..
124. Goss Jerk - August 12, 2009 2:12 PM
Everything i could say has already been posted today but here goes:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GW ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
never thought id see so many posts.
125. YHL - August 12, 2009 11:21 PM
Happy belated birthday! all the way from Australia! Hope you had a great one!