Aug 14 2008Guy At Casino Runs Out Of Money, Tries To Bet Weed, Cards Being Dealt Does Not Ensue
Some guy, who may or may not have just set a world record for gravity bong hits, ran out of money while gambling in a Fresno casino, and, instead of cutting his losses and leaving, tried to bet a bag of weed. But Captain Beasters quickly realized his mistake, and, removing the bag from the table, opted for a smaller bet -- you know, just a couple buds. Long story short, he got arrested -- despite showing the cops a pretty convincing Cannabis Club Card he scored off the internet.
Now listen folks -- when you run out of money at the casino, it's time to leave. It is NOT time to throw weed or blow down on the table. You go back to your hotel, retrieve the $40 you stashed for return busfare, and treat yourself to the nicest hooker two Jacksons can buy. Seriously, you ever rolled a blunt on a prostitute's ass? You have? Jesus, I haven't lived. Blow too? Wow. Tell me -- did you lose any in her actual a-hole?
Thanks to Kris, who once bet me I wouldn't follow through with the ugliest hooker I could find. Haha, pay up Kris! Seriously, I want to get this rash checked out.
Reader Comments
1. qwerty - August 14, 2008 2:16 PM
haha fail 1st!!!!oneone11
2. Julian - August 14, 2008 2:20 PM
I tried doing blow off a hookers ass, and yes some went in her open ass hole (it literally would not close) long story short, I had to switch the $20 i was using for a McDonald's straw . . . You can't judge me, blow is expensive.
3. guate6 - August 14, 2008 2:57 PM
Some people I guess...
4. Ace - August 14, 2008 3:07 PM
@2: They do that all the time.
Blow off my ass? Sure, I'll just open up and suck it in.
5. My Karas - August 14, 2008 3:30 PM
lol he should of just sold it outside of the casino and get the money that guy is a dumbass
6. SluggishGirl - August 14, 2008 3:48 PM
the 'weed buy-in' is only an acceptable while gambling at home or on the streets with the boys. but nice try jerk ass.
7. ms. mollie - August 14, 2008 3:57 PM
now that's impressive, impressively stupid.
8. greg - August 14, 2008 4:10 PM
impressive is the security guard´s voice, I cant belive on that
lol
9. Fresnan - August 15, 2008 12:56 AM
OMG...I live in Fresno! lol! Amazing, Fresno's on the internet! Take that, Bakersfield!
lol jk we totally own that pit of despair
10. Jazzman - August 15, 2008 10:05 AM
Biggie said it "Never get high on your own supply"
11. Mateus - August 16, 2008 4:18 PM
hahahaha
your posts are awesome
12. peter - October 30, 2008 6:36 PM
lol i was at that table
13. Demetri - November 26, 2008 5:04 PM
time to switch over from gold standard
even though we dont really have a gold standard
14. Solstice - April 10, 2009 6:08 AM
Wow, chalk another one up for the San Joaquin Valley! I swear we are not ALL this stupid....although we do seem to have more than our "fair share".
To date we:
Have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the United States
Have been rated as the #1 Worst Place to Live by the U.S. Government
Have been featured on Cops "America's Stupidest Criminals" (Guy gets pulled over on CA-HWY43 for swerving, swears up & down he's not high & has never smoked weed - the CHP leans in & pulls a rolled joint from behind his ear).
And now this. YAY FRESNO!!
Come to think of it, there's probably more that just don't come to mind at the moment...
...for the record, I may have been born & raised there, but I moved out when I turned 18 & have not been back (going on 10 years LOL)
15. Solstice - April 10, 2009 6:11 AM
Oh! Yeah!
Just remembered another one from Jr. Police Academy in High School:
A guy got busted for murder, red handed (literally).
Went to trial, jury found him "not guilty".
After the trail, the arresting officer (my teacher) went up to one of the Jurors and asked them "How could you find him not guilty? How is there any doubt that he did it?"
To which the juror responded....wait for it....
"Oh, we knew he did it. We just didn't think he was guilty"