Aug 8 2008GoateeSaver Saves Goatee, Not Self Respect
The GoateeSaver looks like the thing they made Hannibal Lecter wear and protects your goatee while you shave in case you have the shakes or are prone to seizures. The $20 device has height and width adjustments (those three silver rollers) so it's one size adjusts to most. You just bite the attached bit, shave, and you're good to go. Except for my roommate, who just discovered I covered his bit with superglue. What's that? I can't understand a word you're saying, you look stupid as fuck.
GoateeSaver, the grooming accessory for the clumsy, inept, or hungover [dvice]
Related Stories
Money Can't Buy Classiness: A Gold Porsche (07/08/2008)
For The Ladies: Golden Girl 24 Karat Facials (03/28/2008)
For The Geekologie Ladies: Fishy Pedicures (07/22/2008)
Run By Monkeys?: HP's Shipping Department (07/21/2008)
Reader Comments
1. Michael Bolton - August 8, 2008 2:32 PM
I wouldn't be caught dead using this thing. If you can't shave your goatee the normal way then your a tool and shouldn't have one.
2. Vossk - August 8, 2008 2:36 PM
We should all just grow extravagantly large beards instead of wasting all of this money of shaving.
3. KennyRogers - August 8, 2008 2:37 PM
Me being the burly cowboy I am believes that a real man can shave his own damn face without this hunk of junk. Or be like me and pay you chinese girls to do it for you. Along with plucking my nose hairs, popping my ass zits, and combing my ball hair.
This is a Jip.
However, Michael Bolton need not give his advice here, I don't think he has ever been manly enough to sprout stubble. More like Michelle Bolton, Distant cousin of Sarah Jessica "moleless face" Parker.
4. KennyRogers - August 8, 2008 2:40 PM
CORRECTION:
Sarah Jessica "MOLE-LESS MAN FACE" Parker.
5. KennyRogers - August 8, 2008 2:41 PM
CORRECTION:
Sarah Jessica "mole-less MAN face" Parker
6. Mitch Miller - August 8, 2008 2:46 PM
@Michael Bolton
"If you can't shave your goatee the normal way then your a tool and shouldn't have one."
If you still have a goatee these days then you're just a tool. Especially if you have a shaved head too.
7. Burl Ives - August 8, 2008 2:49 PM
I wonder if this would work on a vagina?
8. Michael J Fox - August 8, 2008 2:50 PM
whatsfsf wrongng therejk kkkennyy?
allzzheeimmerrrsSD?f457
flfplolzz.
9. el - August 8, 2008 2:50 PM
if you say "tool" you're a tool.
what, what? i think i just tricked myself.
damn.
10. Julian - August 8, 2008 2:53 PM
It reminds me of the thing that Sub-zero has on his face in later mortal kombats.
1. create most insanely idiotic device ever made while drunk.
2.
3. Profit
11. Jen Montgomery - August 8, 2008 2:54 PM
That's rediculous.
12. Momboelitist - August 8, 2008 3:00 PM
We're not starting the tool thing again are we?
Anyway, I think it's spelled "gyp" @3 and I also think you protest way too much if you know what I'm trying to gay....er, I mean say...
13. Sell Porn Make Money - August 8, 2008 3:18 PM
it puts the lotion in the basket...
14. Thumperchica - August 8, 2008 3:29 PM
Finally! A muzzle for guys with muzzle!
*I know, I'm lame...*
15. Thumperchica - August 8, 2008 3:36 PM
@#10 - stealing business plans from the Underpants Knomes is NEVER a good idea- but it did make me laugh...
16. Jay - August 8, 2008 3:39 PM
Women, turn it upside down to shave the perfect landing strip!!!!!
17. brian - August 8, 2008 3:48 PM
How long before we see these things used as props in sci fi tv shows?
18. ren - August 8, 2008 3:49 PM
I would of called it "scrape goat" or something more clever-rer
19. Wang - August 8, 2008 3:56 PM
Am I the only one who read "goatse"?
20. Vossk - August 8, 2008 3:57 PM
19, I read that too. Do not want on face.
21. Poore Richard - August 8, 2008 5:02 PM
Wow. Thats an impressive looking razor. I like the design. I shave with a steak knife superglued to the back of a lotion bottle, that way I stay silky smooth.
22. oeo - August 8, 2008 6:47 PM
As a girl, trust me, we hate goatees. Nothing makes you look like a rapist faster.
23. ThatRussianGirl - August 9, 2008 2:32 AM
@ 22 Hear, hear!
24. Ben - August 9, 2008 7:16 PM
I'll have to shave my goatee then.
In response to #10 Jillian, you could probably use this as part of costume for Subzero or other Mortal Kombat Lin Kuei.
I hesitate to say this, but since I'm at Geekologie it's probably the place for it, you could probably use this to make a costume to do cosplay for Jinzo from the Yu-Gi-Oh! card game.
25. Dan - August 9, 2008 7:57 PM
wow.......... so uhh....... yeah, damn why didn't I come up wiht this, hmmmm, I'm just so..... fucking my head is going to blow up!
26. Gino - August 12, 2008 8:15 AM
Ladies no need to worry...
Coming Soon... The BrazilianSaver