Aug 18 2008Geez, You Could Have Just Asked Me: Scientists Confirm Beer Goggles Are Real
In an announcement that shouldn't surprise anyone that's seen the majority of women I've slept with, scientists have concluded that beer goggles are, in fact, real.
Surprisingly, the beer goggles effect was not limited to just the opposite sex among the ostensibly straight volunteers recruited for the study -- they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive.
Beer is making me gay.
"The main question is whether these effects are specific to faces, or whether we would rate anything as more attractive after a drink," Munafo said.Future research could expose people who have been drinking to landscapes or the faces of puppies and other animals, "to see if alcohol has a more general effect on perceiving beauty in the environment."
I don't like where this is going. I am NOT having sex with animals. Or a damn landscape. Well, unless it's the sun setting over a mountain range. I'd ravage that shit.
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Reader Comments
1. bar room hero - August 18, 2008 5:19 PM
yup, had some beer goggles going on saturday night...not my finest half-hour
2. guate6 - August 18, 2008 5:21 PM
Takes a few beers for me, but yeah, of course they're real. Now as far as landscapes & animals...I don't know. Either way, puppies are adorable as is...I think it's a biased study.
3. Jazzman - August 18, 2008 5:26 PM
@ Geekologie Guy "I'd ravage that shit." Funny as hell...
4. Jazzman - August 18, 2008 5:28 PM
Personal rule of mine... always call before you start drinking!!!
1. Walk into bar.
2. ID all the gurls you would never holla at.
3. Get your drink on.
4. Sit back and laugh at yourself 'cause those gurls you would never holla at are starting to look good!!!
5. Buddy Tough Love - August 18, 2008 6:31 PM
Misspelled the common word 'girls'..used the bastardization known as 'holla'..Must be black. Or worse, a race traitor.
6. Stumpy - August 18, 2008 6:33 PM
How about a Steel park bench? How many drinks before that looks good?
7. race_tr8torz_aka_twitchy - August 18, 2008 7:26 PM
Jazzman: yr 4 step program has done wondurz 4 me! HOLLA!
8. Jacky Treehorn - August 18, 2008 7:28 PM
TWITCHDOKTOR treats objects like women, man...!
9. Josh - August 18, 2008 7:36 PM
Black people abandoned 'holla' to dipshit white people (read: wiggers and people from new jersey) a couple of years back along with '-izzle' and 'whip'.
This year they are finally abandoning 'boo' and 'crib'. Look for increased usage of these words at your favorite guido nightclub soon.
10. oh no - August 18, 2008 7:45 PM
yea everyone, because a guy named Josh knows all about the black community. lollllllllllllllllllllllllll
11. Coffee - August 18, 2008 8:14 PM
"The scientists would also want to vary the levels of alcohol that volunteers receive"
If they need a larger population for study... count me in.
12. Not That Guy - August 18, 2008 8:31 PM
Yeah, Josh sounds like he is one street wise mutha fucka, fer shizzle all up in my nizzle. j-Dawg you are all up in this heezy. Word.
13. Jive Talkin' Josh - August 18, 2008 8:36 PM
Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady got to be runnin' col' upside down his head!
Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap upon you man!
I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get the same ol' same ol.
Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'.
You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.
Col' got to be! Yo!
Sheeeeiet!
14. Not That Guy - August 18, 2008 8:38 PM
God dammnit, that's funny shit right there!
15. Jive Talkin' Josh - August 18, 2008 8:43 PM
For all of the 'Jive-Impaired' here is a translation:
Golly, that white fellow should stay away from my wife or I will punch him.
Yes, he is wrong for doing that.
I knew a man in a similar predicament, and he ended up being sorry.
Don't be naive Arthur. Each of us faces a clear moral choice.
You know what they say, Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
How true!
Golly!
16. CM - August 18, 2008 8:53 PM
Is that why that dude fucked that bench?
17. Jimmy - August 19, 2008 3:40 AM
I know that's why I fucked a bench, but I'm hung smaller than a Chinese man so I didn't get stuck!
I'm also quicker than the geekologie writer so I did it mid day with a little old lady feeding pigeons sitting next to me and I didn't get caught.
18. Ace - August 19, 2008 7:00 AM
Mmmm...beer..
19. Steve-o - August 19, 2008 1:30 PM
Forget steel park benches.. i'm into unfinished wood benches.. they really offer the right amount of abrasion for the task at hand..