Aug 15 2008 British Ministry Of Defense Plans To Start Using Bomb-Dropping UFOs Within The Year
The British Army plans on deploying these little UFOs within the next years to drop bombs and bugs (listening devices, not earwigs) behind enemy lines.
Without any external blades and using a two stroke petrol engine, the unmanned aerial vehicle can enter a building either through a window or door and send back high-quality images on its video camera feed.
With efforts being made to make an electric engine that generates little noise, the Fenstar's inventors, hope it could be quiet enough to snoop into rooms and plant listening devices without being seen or heard. Similarly it could also plant explosive devices to kill the enemy.
Yeah, you definitely need to work on the noise factor, otherwise that thing'll be PEW PEWed out of the sky quicker than you can say "Holy shit, miniature aliens!" But seriously, how come every piece of new technology has to be used for war. Planting bombs? How about planting trees? I'm talking weed here folks. I don't know what that has to do with any of this, but it definitely does now. Am I right? Well let me finish. Say, you gonna eat the rest of that? Okay, so the enemies smoke the weed, right, and then -- seriously, give me a bite, I've got the munchies. Mmm, this is good -- what do you call it? A wet-nap, huh? It's real lemon-y.
Flying saucer that can plant explosives or bugs set for frontline [telegraph]
Thanks to Blumama, from Redpapa.
Aug 15 2008 The 2008 Olympics: Now In LEGO Form
This is the Olympic village made entirely out of LEGO. It was recently on display in Hong Kong to get everyone excited about the games and contains over 300,000 blocks and 4,500 minifigs. Hit the jump for a whole bunch more, including a damn good looking Water Cube. You know, I was so inspired by the work that went into this that I decided to write my congressman about getting a medal above the gold awarded in the Olympics. This medal, of course, would be LEGO. Pretty great idea, huh? Well that's what I thought -- but you know what he wrote back? "Stop writing me about all your stupid freaking ideas." Can you believe that? He said the exact same thing about the possibility of getting my likeness on a coin. What a dick!
Hit it for a bunch more.
Aug 15 2008 Mmmmm, Gamey: The NES Lunchbox
So somebody made an Instructable about how to turn a NES into a lunchbox. I can't imagine it's all that difficult, but the last time I tried to mod anything I ended up with a nipple infection. Hey, piercing looked easy. So yeah, make your own NES lunchbox. Or, if you give me a few hours, I'll make a PS3 lunchbox and post an Instructable.
UPDATE: Shit, I think I voided the warranty.
NES Lunchbox [albotas]
Aug 15 2008 Shhhh!: Nintendo Silences Shigeru Miyamoto
Video game guru Shigeru Miyamoto (the man behind such franchises as Mario, Donkey Kong, Zelda, and more recently Brain Age and Wii Fit) has been asked by Nintendo to not discuss his personal hobbies. Why? Because it reveals what Nintendo has in the works.
At least, that's the reasoning behind an item in The Times of London. The piece connects some dots -- Miyamoto loves puzzles, Brain Age follows; Miyamoto interested in exercise, Wii Fit is born; Miyamoto takes music lessons, Wii Music unveiled. And the writer, attributing to sources within Nintendo, says the third time was enough and Nintendo has asked Miyamoto to hush up about his interests.
Oh man, let's just hope Miyamoto isn't secretly one of those pervwads on the subway that tries to play grab-ass with unsuspecting women. Because, honestly, Cheek Cheek Ass Hand sounds like a pretty f***ed up game.
Ninty Forbids Miyamoto to Discuss His Hobbies [kotaku]
Thanks Beezy, now let's start spying on him.
Aug 15 2008 Guy Paints Car Pictures Using RC Cars
Ian Cook is an artist that specializes in painting car portraits using RC cars and wheels instead of brushes. Which, unbeknownst to me, apparently there's a market for. He dips the toy's wheels in paint, and then runs them around on the paper using a radio controller. I've got to admit, the results are pretty damn impressive. Not as impressive as the cat painting I made using nothing but an uncooperative Mr. Whiskers, but still, not bad.
Hit the jump to see a couple more pictures and a video of Ian in action.
Aug 15 2008 CD Dumbbells: Because, Despite Paying For A Membership, You Never Go To The Gym
Let's face it, going to the gym is a hassle. First you have to get there, then you have to lift stuff and break a sweat, and, as if that weren't enough hassle already, you have to wet the end of your towel and play a little whip-ass in the locker room with the other guys. Am I right? You know -- the game where you all run around trying to whip each other's buttocks with a towel. I love that shit. Well anyway, if you never leave your house you can make a CD dumbbell out of stuff you have laying around. Of course, if you want a real workout, you should come over and lift this 21" CRT monitor off my desk. Yeah, just like that. Remember: lift with the legs and *WHIP* Haha, you can take a boy out of the locker room, but you can't take the love of whipping another man's ass with a moistened towel out of the boy. Also, you dropped my monitor -- you're gonna have to pay for that.
CD dumbbells get you ripped with what you've got lying around [dvice]
Aug 15 2008 Fire Beer, Not Bullets: The Beerdolier
Last week it was the Beer Belt, and now this week, the Beerdolier. Oh hell yes! The $15 Beerdolier holds six cans of sweet beer AND keeps them cold thanks to its unpatented koozie technology. These things are freaking awesome! Can you imagine a world in which a war (World War Brew) is fought with beer instead of bullets? I can, it's called Utopia, and I just drank all the ammo. Oh, time for a munitions dump.
The Beerdolier: Drink Like a Commando [gizmodo]
Aug 15 2008 Some Maroons Still Believe The Earth Is Flat
Idiots in the Flat Earth Society are still convinced the world is flat and lead-based paint is part of a well-balanced diet.
People are definitely prejudiced against flat-Earthers," Tennessee-based computer scientist and society member John Davis tells the BBC. "Many use the term 'flat-Earther' as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism."
Don't breed!
"The Earth is, more or less, a disc," states James McIntyre, a Briton who helps run the Flat Earth Society's Web site. "Obviously it isn't perfectly flat, thanks to geological phenomena like hills and valleys. It is around 24,900 miles in diameter.""The North Pole is central, and Antarctica comprises the entire circumference of the Earth," explains McIntyre. "Circumnavigation is a case of traveling in a very broad circle across the surface of the Earth."
Flat Earthers also believe the moon landing and photos of earth from space were faked, which is only true in the case of the moon landing. But what I don't get is: if Antarctica surrounds the entire circumference of the earth, what's on the other side of that? Is it all ice? Is it candy land? Is it the dark side of the earth? Does my doppelgänger live there? Do you think he blogs too? If I meet him will I really die? Can I dig a hole to the other side and find out? Will you help? Come on, I'll show you my tits.
Believers In Flat Earth Not About to Change Minds [foxnews]
Thanks to Sam, who's smart enough to know the world is a cone.
Aug 14 2008 Husband Cheats On Wife, She Sells Condom Wrapper And Picture Of His Lover's Undies
Some guy cheated on his wife and was caught after he accidentally sent her a text message meant for his mistress. She came home, and the rest is soon to be penis-chopping history.
Once upon a time there was a women who, after 22 years of marriage, found evidence that the soon to be ex-husband, had had 'The Tart' in their marital bed this very afternoon. This low life deceitful son-of-a-person ( I'm all for political correctness) blatantly denied that this event took place even though the evidence is irrefutable and is now up for auction on e-bay.
The woman is selling a picture of the "tart's" underwear and the used condom wrapper (size small) she discovered. She was originally selling the actual underwear, but eBay yanked the auction as you're not allowed to sell preworn underwear because that's freaking disgusting and a good way to catch malaria. Make sure to hit the auction link if you want to read a much, MUCH longer description of how the guy was busted. Current bidding is at $303 with 3 days remaining, and I have no idea why anybody would freaking pay that. But hey, if you're interested I'll sell you the lingerie section from a JCPenney catalog and an empty box of Trojans for the same price.
eBay Auction
Thanks Amanda and Matt, may you never have to post a similar auction.
Aug 14 2008 Taj Mahal: Largest LEGO Set Ever Created
Dwarfing even the 5,195 piece Millennium Falcon, comes LEGO's newest, and largest, set ever: The Taj Mahal. Weighing in at 5,922 pieces, the $300 set ships mid September. But the thing that gets me is that it's only 20" wide and 16" tall. That's not very big.
The famous Taj Mahal palace of India is known all over the globe for its incredible beauty and elegance. Now you can recreate this modern wonder of the world for yourself! Designed for experienced builders, the LEGO Taj Mahal model features advanced building techniques, rare elements and colors, and realistic details of architecture. With over 5,900 pieces, the Taj Mahal makes an awesome addition to any LEGO collection!
As I'm sure many of you know, Taj Mahal is actually a mausoleum built by Emperor Shah Jahan for his favorite wife. Touching, I may build this set in remembrance of a favored pet. But the wife -- Pfft -- she'll be lucky to get a DUPLO grave marker.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Taj Mahal: Largest LEGO Set Ever Created "
Aug 14 2008 Guy At Casino Runs Out Of Money, Tries To Bet Weed, Cards Being Dealt Does Not Ensue
Some guy, who may or may not have just set a world record for gravity bong hits, ran out of money while gambling in a Fresno casino, and, instead of cutting his losses and leaving, tried to bet a bag of weed. But Captain Beasters quickly realized his mistake, and, removing the bag from the table, opted for a smaller bet -- you know, just a couple buds. Long story short, he got arrested -- despite showing the cops a pretty convincing Cannabis Club Card he scored off the internet.
Now listen folks -- when you run out of money at the casino, it's time to leave. It is NOT time to throw weed or blow down on the table. You go back to your hotel, retrieve the $40 you stashed for return busfare, and treat yourself to the nicest hooker two Jacksons can buy. Seriously, you ever rolled a blunt on a prostitute's ass? You have? Jesus, I haven't lived. Blow too? Wow. Tell me -- did you lose any in her actual a-hole?
Thanks to Kris, who once bet me I wouldn't follow through with the ugliest hooker I could find. Haha, pay up Kris! Seriously, I want to get this rash checked out.
Aug 14 2008 That's Freaking Huge!: Scale Model Shanghai
This is a scale model of what Shanghai will look like in 2020 if they complete all the buildings slated to be up by that time. The model takes up over 1,000 square feet and resides on the third floor of the Shanghai Urban Planning Museum. Pretty impressive Shanghai, but I completed a much larger scale model years ago. It was 1:2 scale replica of one of my nuts. Sadly, it was too big to display in the backyard. And that, students, is where the moon came from. This concludes your astronomy lesson for the day, tomorrow: how I invented black holes.
Hit the jump for several more worthwhile shots of the model.
Continue Reading " That's Freaking Huge!: Scale Model Shanghai "
Aug 14 2008 What's Google Maps Hiding From Us?
This is a picture from Google Maps from somewhere in Holland that looks suspiciously clone-stamped (see the similar looking light colored treetops?). So, Google -- what're you trying to hide, and why? Is it giant "Yahoo Rules!" sign? A monster penis-and-balls somebody mowed into their pot farm? WHAT IS IT? Inquiring minds want to know. Go here to see the actual spot in Google Maps, then post your guess. Mine is 5' 8", 178 lbs. Step right up folks, I'm a carny!
Aug 14 2008 Is This Really Bigfoot? (Hint: Hell If I Know)
First the Montauk Monster, then a chupacabra, and now....Bigfoot?
Two Bigfoot hunters claim they have the body of one and plan to release a photo and what they claim is DNA evidence at a news conference in Palo Alto on Friday.The Bigfoot is claimed to have been found in the woods of northern Georgia by Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, and the claim is being supported by a Bay Area Bigfoot researcher Tom Biscardi, a multiple local Democratic candidate.
I copied the entire press release for the news conference after the jump, so you can check out all the claims, but I'll post a couple of the more interesting ones here:
*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall. *It weighs over five hundred pounds. *It is male. *Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel. *From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide. *The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
So folks, what's the deal? I'll continue to follow the story and hit you with an update if there's anything groundbreaking revealed at the press conference tomorrow, provided it's not, "Haha, tricked you!" If that's the case I'll bury this post and pretend I never wrote it. Geekologie Writer: 1, Journalistic Integrity: 0.
Hit it for the press release and a video news report, and yes, that is supposed to be a photo of the thing stuffed in a freezer.
Continue Reading " Is This Really Bigfoot? (Hint: Hell If I Know) "
Aug 14 2008 How To: Make A Cardboard Boba Fett Helmet
There's an Instructables out there that teaches the do-it-yourselfer how to make their own Boba Fett helmet out of cardboard. You know, so you can mix universes and play PEW PEW with this kid in his backyard. Unfortunately, no matter how good your helmet turns out, you're still a 30-year old Trick-or-Treater. Which is just pathetic unless you score a couple full sized candy bars and some wax lips. And if that's the case, quick -- gimme a sheet, I'm coming with you! Also, hand over a freaking Snickers.
Hit the jump for a picture of the comfortable interior.
Continue Reading " How To: Make A Cardboard Boba Fett Helmet "
Aug 14 2008 Audi R8 That Would Make James Bond Proud
Some guy who insists on remaining anonymous but whose name is Chris Donovan of Denver, Colorado (kidding) has customized an Audi R8 with a ton of ridiculous awesomeness.
The Audi R8 Blackbird is perfect for gadget lovers, sporting "four GPS units, two radar detectors, police scanner, CB radio, kill switch for all rear lights, and high-speed broadband Internet with Wi-Fi running on a tablet PC."
Oh, and did I mention it's packing a liquid cooled infrasonic wave-pulse generator (2:10 in the video) that can fry your balls? I think it's one of those things Basher Tarr used in Ocean's Eleven to zap all the power sources within its blast radius, but I could be wrong. All I know is that I don't want any kids right now, so blast away! I even lift the lead shield off my nuts when the dentist takes X-rays. Free birth control!
Hit the jump for a video walkthrough of the car and an (off-camera) explanation by its creator. Note: Dude is clearly no James Bond.
Continue Reading " Audi R8 That Would Make James Bond Proud "
Aug 13 2008 Uh-Oh: Robot Controlled By Rat Brain Cells
Some idiotic scientists at Reading University have developed a robot that is controlled by rat brain cells. Run for your life!
The neurons are now being taught to steer the robot around obstacles and avoid the walls of the small pen in which it is kept. By studying what happens to the neurons as they learn its creators hope to reveal how memories are laid down.
As the cells are living tissue, they are kept separate from the robot in a temperature-controlled cabinet in a container pitted with electrodes. Signals are passed to and from the robot via Bluetooth short-range radio.The brain cells have been taught how to control the robot's movements so it can steer round obstacles and the next step, say its creators, is to get it to recognize its surroundings.
Apparently they then plan to disrupt the memories in an attempt to recreate Alzheimer's and Parkinson's like conditions. Now I'm all for the better understanding and curing of disease, but please, for the love of the human race, please be careful you crazy assholes! One time my mom found a rat in the basement and it was my job to try to beat it to death with a broom. You know what it did? The little f***er bit me. Now if he had been controlling a BigDog, I'd have been a goner. Just saying, have you ever seen The Matrix? I haven't, is it worth renting?
Hit the jump for a short video of the rat-brained robot in action.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Robot Controlled By Rat Brain Cells "
Aug 13 2008 Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not)
A Texas cop was on a routine fence inspection drive (WTF?) when he found a strange creature running in the road. He claimed it was hairless, had long back legs, short front legs, and a massive snout. So he started filming it with the car's camera. Hit the jump to see the video and hear an interview with the cop. So, what do you think, is it a chupacabra? No, it's not. How do I know? Simple. 1. The chupacabra is a creature of the night, they don't wake up from their daytime siesta until after nightfall. 2. It's nothing like what I imagined it should look like. Chupacabras should be half human, half lizard -- that would be freaking sweet. This thing is the bastard child of a coyote that stuck it to your neighbor's dog. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly 3. Is it sucking a goat's teet? I see no goat, I see no teet, I can't see my dick past my beer bellly anymore, and I see no chupacabra. *slams case closed for emphasis* Suck it, Matlock!
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not) "
Aug 13 2008 OMG, Double Entendre!: The Floppy Shirt
Nice, but where's the 3½" floppy for us less fortunate guys? Or, for The Superficial Writer, a 2" flash drive? Haha, I peeked over the urinal divider!
Why We Always Write to the Hard Disk [gizmodo]
Aug 13 2008 Is This The Car Of The Future? (Hint: No)
This is a BMW concept car designed by Transportation Design students Jai Ho Yoo and Lukas Vanek from the instituo Europeo di Design. They imagined the ZX-6 after being asked what the vehicles of 2015 would look like. Now call me crazy, but isn't 2015 just 7 years away? These guys are nuts. Besides, by 2015 we're not going to be driving cars anyways. Nope, the only thing we'll be driving is golf balls -- on Mars. ZOMG, Interplanetary Olympics!
Aug 13 2008 ZOMG! A Legend Of Zelda Philosophy Book
So, there's a Legend of Zelda philosophy book coming out sometime in the near future. I may learn to read yet!
With both young and adult gamers as loyal fans, The Legend of Zelda is one of the most beloved video game series ever created. The contributors to this volume consider the following questions and more: What is the nature of the gamer's connection to Link? Does Link have a will, or do gamers project their wills onto him? How does the gamer experience the game? Do the rules of logic apply in the game world? How is space created and distributed in Hyrule (the fictional land in which the game takes place)? How does time function? Is Zelda art? Can Hyrule be seen as an ideal society? Can the game be enjoyable without winning? The Legend of Zelda and Philosophy not only appeals to Zelda fans and philosophers but also puts video games on the philosophical map as a serious area of study.
This book might actually be alright, I hope they teach it in college. Because the required class I had to take sucked. Well, except for the girl that sat in front of me. Man, she had a pair of Descartes on her that would've....what? I already used that joke? Well shit. Okay, then philosophize on this for a minute: If a tree falls in Hyrule and I'm busy banging Zelda, is it true she can still get pregnant even though I was doing it from behind? She's already a week late and I'm getting nervous.
The Legend Of Zelda: The...Philosophy Book (Huh?) [kotaku]
Thanks to Richard, who knows that all things Zelda make my heart go pitter-patter.
Aug 13 2008 Wicked Fountain Makes Things Out Of Water!
This is an awesome fountain that can make words and dolphins and rings and lightning bolts and all kinds of other awesome designs using water. It's really freaking neat and you should watch it all. The only thing that could have made it better is if, instead of regular water, they used the water left over from boiling hotdogs. Mmmm, hotdog water.
Thanks to Gregg, who can actually do this pissing.
Aug 13 2008 Wait, What?: Inflatable Art Turd Flies Away
I don't even know. Apparently American artist (artist used very lightly) Paul McCarthy created an exhibit entitled "Complex Shit" that consisted of an inflatable dog turd the size of a house. Well, the inflatable pew got loose from and wreaked havoc in Switzerland.
The wind carried it 200 meters (yards) from the Paul Klee Centre in Berne before it fell back to Earth in the grounds of a children's home, said museum director Juri Steiner.The inflatable turd broke the window at the children's home when it blew away on the night of July 31, Steiner said. The art work has a safety system which normally makes it deflate when there is a storm, but this did not work when it blew away.
Wow, those kids are officially f***ed for life. Way to go, Paul (I loved Hey Jude by the way). Now I hate to start an argument about whether or not an inflatable dog turd the size of a house should be considered art or not, but I did take an art history class in college, so I am an authority. And let me tell you -- the girl that sat beside me had a pair of Titians on her that would've given Michelango's David a boner.
NOTE: I made the crappy picture. Photo fake, story real.
Flying piece of art causes museum chaos in Switzerland [yahoonews]
Thanks to Ryan, who once flew around the world in 80 days a turd.
Aug 13 2008 Coming In For A Landing!: The Mile High Bed
Thanks everybody for all the birthday wishes yesterday. That was awesome, and I love you all. But today's another day, and...wait a minute -- it's International Left Handers Day! Another day of celebration for me! Shake left-handed, eat and drink left-handed, or give yourself a stranger, WHEE!
Anyway, the Mile High Bed was made my MotoArt, the same company that made the engine cowling reception desk and ejector seat office chair. Constructed from two DC-9 rear stabilizers and a C-130 inner flap, the bed promises to comfortably accommodate yourself and two additional passenger (preferably sexy stewardesses). Unfortunately, price is only available via company contact, which means a freaking fortune. Pfft, who needs a Mile High Bed anyways? Not I. Now a 200 MPH Bed -- that's where it's at. Ladies, to the race car bed! But please note: Be quiet coming in, my parents are asleep, and also, I'm entitled to make all the VROOM VROOM noises I want during the race. VROO....oh, checkered flag. Champagne me, I'm ready for a nap.
Aug 12 2008 Buy It For Me!: Every NES Game Released
There's an eBay auction going on right now for an NES and every game ever released in a gray cartridge (no golden Zeldas), along with two that never were (California Raisins and Final Fantasy 2)!
This is it! Every NES cartridge ever made in a gray cartridge. About half the games have the instruction manual. This auction also includes a complete NES System with mint everything, including the posters and warrantee. A boxed Four Score with 2 extra controllers is also included, plus everything else you see on these pics. This feat took me years and thousands to complete. This is my most prized collection which I do not want to give up, but I have some serious family issues where money is needed now.
The auction has a Buy It Now price of $3,800, and, seeing how I am turning 14 today, I thought all you loyal Geekologie readers might want to band together and help me buy it. Seriously, if every one of you just donates a dollar, then I'll only have to cover $3,500 myself.
Well folks, the blogging is done, time to hit the streets! Literally -- I'm gonna have to sell myself for an hour to afford birthday shooters. See you all tomorrow!
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a link to the auction.
Continue Reading " Buy It For Me!: Every NES Game Released "
Aug 12 2008 Sunday School: The Holy Ghost Church Rave
This is a bunch of people going nuts and flailing around as the Holy Ghost fills their souls to the point of explosion, all set to techno DRUM AND BASS. I thought it was okay, particularly starting around the 1:00 mark. I definitely don't remember any of this at my Sunday school, but I did meet Jesus once at a rave. In retrospect, he could've just been a guy with long hair wearing a glowstick halo, but if that was the case then answer me this: how'd he get such good ecstasy? Thanks Jesus, best roll EVER.
Original video, sans techno, after the jump in case you care.
Continue Reading " Sunday School: The Holy Ghost Church Rave "
Aug 12 2008 Highly Realistic 3-D Facial Animations
Alter Ego, a division of Pendulum Studios, is apparently kicking ass and taking names in the field of 3-D facial animation.
The guys over at AlterEgo have developed proprietary "facial performance software", which combined with special mo-cap hardware, can produce unbelievably real digital faces in record time. Their work has been featured in motion pictures, commercials, animation and video games including Dark Sector and the forthcoming Silent Hill 5.
There's a video after the jump of some faces in action (that I lovingly embedded in high quality so you could get the full effect), which is pretty impressive. So the real question is this: what does this mean for the adult entertainment industry? Because I'll tell you one thing -- I wouldn't be caught dead watching a damn CG porno.
UPDATE, FROM HELL: Ha, so I was wrong.
Hit the jump for another picture and the video.
Aug 12 2008 From Me To You On My Birthday: A Gallery Of Women In Princess Leia Golden Bikinis
There's a website out there appropriately named Leiasmetalbikini that is dedicated to, well, Princess Leia's metal bikini. You can buy them, sell them, discuss them, and, most importantly, peruse a huge gallery of chicks dressed in them. I flipped through and posted a bunch of my favorites after the jump (which you WILL look at), but there are literally hundreds -- so make sure to check them out. Just consider this a little gift from me to you. That way, you can't say I never got you anything. Seriously though, this might very well be the most selfless act ever performed on a person's own birthday. Quick, saint me!
Hit it for the MASSIVE gallery.
Aug 12 2008 Olympic's Blue Screen Of Death Moment
Apparently a computer went blue screen of death during the opening ceremonies at the Olympics a few days ago. Yep, right when a flying Li Ning was about to wrap up the torch-lighting ceremony too. No idea what the screen was actually supposed to be displaying, but if I had to guess, I'd say definitely not that. Does this count as an epic fail? I was gonna put it in the title, but I know some of you are sensitive about what counts and what doesn't. So, what's the ruling? And how about, instead of a blue screen of death, it was somebody farming gold in World of Warcraft. Would that count?
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
Aug 12 2008 Oh Great, Now There's A LittleDog Too
Remember when Boston Dynamics heralded the robot apocalypse with the creation of the BigDog? Well now the uncaring bastards have made a LittleDog too. You know, one that isn't as big or loud as the original. Why? To kill you easier.
LittleDog is a quadruped robot for research on learning locomotion. Scientists at leading institutions use LittleDog to probe the fundamental relationships among motor learning, dynamic control, perception of the environment, and rough terrain locomotion.
Run for the hills! I imagine a scenario that plays out something like this: A platoon of BigDogs are released into the wild, each with a payload of several LittleDogs. When a human presence is detected in the area, a LittleDog is deployed, where it seeks out said humans and kills them (possibly by self-detonation). This is repeated until I'm the only one alive and living in an underground bunker. At this time, I manage to capture a BigDog, and, in an attempt to create a race of cyborgs to battle my robot overlords, mate with said beast. But in my haste, I fail to realize I've captured a male model! I bang it every day but never produce any cyborgs. Then I die. And that, my friends, is how the human race dies out. Happy ending!
Hit the jump for two more robots of the apocalypse that Boston Dynamics has created, RISE, a climbing bot, and RHex, which can pretty much do anything, including swim.
Aug 12 2008 Google Streets: Now With Drunks And Fire!
There are all sorts of neat things to spot with Google Earth and Google Street View. Apparently including some guy that's shitcanned and passed out in his neighborhood.
When this drunken Aussie was shaken awake by police he prayed none of the neighbors had seen him collapsed on the curb. Unfortunately millions could gaze at his slumped form. For at the moment he passed out, Google's Street View camera car was filming in that corner of Melbourne. And the man - identified only as Bill, 46, - is not happy. The fisherman who had been drowning his sorrows at a funeral, said: "I wasn't thinking there would be someone driving by with a camera."
Now I've never been to a jeans and tennis shoe funeral, but I'm sure they exist. But Bill, a word of advice -- there is ALWAYS somebody driving by with a camera. If it's not Google, it's the government or a psycho ex-girlfriend. Or maybe the PI your wife hired to catch you cheating. My point is this: if you have to pass out, keep your legs out of the freaking street. Because if the camera car had been driving anything like I do, now performing a Google search for "your legs" wouldn't find any matches.
Hit the jump to see a picture of a Google Street View of a house on fire from Sherwood, Arkansas.
Continue Reading " Google Streets: Now With Drunks And Fire! "
Aug 12 2008 OMG, I Made It: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Many people think Geekologie is written by a computer preprogrammed with bad jokes or a bunch of fairies strung out on magic dust. Well, that isn't entirely true. You see, I came out of a vagina just like many of you did -- but haven't seen one since. Ladies, that was a birthday present hint. So yeah, I'm a year older today. But that's not gonna stop me from Geeking the ologie for all you lovely people! No way. In fact, I have a very special birthday surprise coming up in a few posts, which you will most certainly find worth celebrating. Also, seeing how my girlfriend will clearly forget today's significance, I was wondering if one of you could, I dunno, maybe pick up an ice cream cake?
Aug 11 2008 It's About Freaking Time: An Invisibility Cloak
Scientists at the University of California Berkeley have announced they're one step closer to the development of an invisibility cloak.
The light-bending effect relies on reversing refraction, the effect that makes a straw placed in water appear bent.
One approach used nanometre-scale stacks of silver and magnesium fluoride in a "fishnet" structure, while another made use of nanowires made of silver.Light is neither absorbed nor reflected by the objects, passing "like water flowing around a rock," according to the researchers. As a result, only the light from behind the objects can be seen.
The team says the principles could one day be scaled up to make invisibility cloaks large enough to hide people.
Sweeeeet. Can you imagine the chaos once everybody gets their hands on an invisibility cloak? The entire world will collapse and I'll die trapped underneath a bench in the women's locker room.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, that really is me in the picture with an invisibility helmet I've been developing the past couple months. Works like a charm!
Invisibility cloak 'step closer' [bbcnews]
Thanks to Ema, Popadopolis, Paul, and moe mentos, all of whom are ninjas and don't need invisibility cloaks.
Aug 11 2008 Sweet!: LEGO Donkey Kong Game
This is a video of a Donkey Kong game made with LEGO Mindstorms RCX. You push a button, the opening game audio plays, and then Kong starts throwing barrels. Mario jumps over them, but never makes any forward progress. And sometimes the barrels actual hit him, which, at least in the real game, results in a death, a thrown controller, and a barrage of profanity. But then your mommy says no more video games for the rest of the night and you, in a rage, call her a bad name. Unfortunately, your father hears so you take off running and lock yourself in your bedroom. Then, while he's punching through the door, you contemplate the best way to survive a three-story dive out the window.
Hit the jump to see another video from the back showing how it all works.
Aug 11 2008 Paint Drip Table Is Neat, Drippy, Trippy
This is a table from designer John Nouanesing. It's called Paint or die but Love Me. If you can't tell because pictures don't work on your fancy electronic typewriter or something, the table looks like it's made of dripping paint. Neat idea, John, but I think it's missing something like, oh I don't know -- legs. You designed a table and forgot the legs. You're a maroon!
NOTE: Please don't email or comment to let me know that the drips are, in fact, the legs. I think you and I both know that's bullshit and you're a witch or sorcerer for even insinuating.
Awesome liquid table [qbn]
Thanks to Melissa, who actually made a table out of paint. Which, by mathematical theorem, makes her mad cooler.
Aug 11 2008 Montauk Monster Toast Surfaces On eBay
Some clown of asses sold a piece of Montauk Monster toast on eBay.
The life-changing adventure that will culminate with your successful bidding and acquisition of this item all began yesterday morning. In all honesty the morning began like any other for me. I woke gently to the peaceful soft-rock sounds of my local adult contemporary station. After hearing about the local bridge club and their quest to raise funds for their summer charity drive, I was finally compelled to matriculate to the kitchen for my normal Thursday breakfast of fresh grapefruit, small bowl of raisin bran (skim milk), slightly buttered toast, coffee, and 8 ounces of pomegranite juice. I was particularly looking forward to the juice as it is precisely the anti-oxidant superpower pick-me-up I need to help me attack the day.
But my interest and consciousness was quickly rocked to unspeakable heights when I witnessed what happened next. That toast I eluded to earlier had harmlessly popped up from the toaster as normal. But when I grabbed the first piece to lightly glaze with margarine I was stopped in my tracks the moment I saw the ghostly impression of none other than the unbelievable montauk monster laying peacefully in the slightly charred surface of my morning toast. A wave of both horror and wonderment washed over me as I quickly understood what the bystanders that found the actual beast must have felt during those fateful seconds on the beach.
Uh-huh. The winning bid was $810, but the winner has 0 feedback. So it's unlikely they're actually gonna pay for a piece of toast with a monster scraped into it. But there certainly was a lot of interest -- and questions!
Q: I plan to eat this toast. Will I be guaranteed a hint of monster in the flavor? Either way I'm fat and plan to eat it!A: Well, as I said above, eating this toast would be like using the hope diamond as a door stop. But if you insist on eating it after you win the bidding, then you should find it will taste like any other piece of toast. Thanks, David
Q: What brand of pomegranate juice were you drinking?
A: I only drink POM Wonderful. It's too important of a part of my diet to skimp and pinch pennies. Thanks, David.Q: I was wondering if I can get a couple eggs on the side? Would that add to the cost of shipping? Can you also include a couple of those little grape jelly containers that you get at Denny's? Thanks a lot.
A: This auction is for legendary Montauk Monster Toast only. Sorry no eggs on the side. Thanks, DavidQ: Can I get the toast with eggs and bacon?
A: This auction is for toast only. No eggs, no bacon. Sorry. DavidQ: Can I get it with out the crust?
A: This toast will be a full piece of toast as seen in the picture. If you win the auction then you can take the crust off. Thanks, Dave
Oh man, I hate the crust too. It's like bread skin. And you know what they say: skin is in, but fat is where it's at. And also, my pants. My pants are where it's at. If we're talking about my wallet -- but if we're talking about a party, forget about it. These pants haven't even seen a friendly get-together in months.
eBay Auction
via
EBay Seller: 'Montauk Monster' Turns Up on Piece of Toast [foxnews]
Thanks to Kenny Rogers, who in 1997 banged a hooker with a drumstick from his chicken shack.
Aug 11 2008 UPDATE: 8 People Buy $1,000 'I Am Rich' iPhone App, Now With Video Tour!
Armin Heinrich made a $1,000 iPhone application called "I Am Rich" that doesn't do anything but open a picture of a glowing red gem. That way, nobody will feel bad about stealing your phone. And, God willing, punching you in the teeth with a car.
The app displays a glowing red gem on a user's iPhone screen for the sole purpose of proving to onlookers one is of the moneyed class. That's all it does.
You know, there are a lot better ways to let people know you're rich than a damn iPhone application. Including, but not limited to: grillz, throwing money from your car, and getting your member gold plated and/or diamond encrusted. But the real sick part of this story is that 8 people bought the application before iTunes pulled it. And you know what? IT WAS ME 8 TIMES! Suck it, peasants!
UPDATE: Video tour of the app and a link to a hacked version after the jump thanks to Tony, who may or may not be in the mob.
Hit the jump for several more pictures, a video tour, and a link to the hacked app. You're rich!
Continue Reading " UPDATE: 8 People Buy $1,000 'I Am Rich' iPhone App, Now With Video Tour! "
Aug 11 2008 The Telemegaphone Is Now Accepting Calls
The telemegaphone is a combination telephone and megaphone, hence the clever name.
Telemegaphone Dale stands seven meters tall on top of the Bergskletten mountain overlooking the idyllic Dalsfjord in Western Norway. When you dial the Telemegaphone's phone number the sound of your voice is projected out across the fjord, the valley and the village of Dale below.
Telemegaphone Dale is wind powered and self-reliant. Recently however, the weather has been exceptionally calm in Dale and there has been a massive amount of people calling.If the Telemegaphone doesn't pick up, just give it a few hours to recuperate and try again. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Awesome -- finally somebody who will listen to me. Hello, Dale? Are there any pretty birds around? TWEET TWEET! Here birdy birdy! How's the view? Is it as awesome as I'm imagining? Is there a rainbow? I bet there's a rainbow. There is, isn't there? Shit, was that just Bigfoot? Haha, made you look. Quick, a unicorn! Jesus, you're gullible. *flush* What? No, I'm not calling from the bathroom. Wait, don't hang up! I need you. You're my only friend. You and the woodland creatures are all I have. Will you stay on the line until I fall asleep? Please? Okay, now let's so goodnight at the same time. Ready? Goodnight! Oh, you were off, let's do it again. Hello? HELLO?
Thanks to Abraham, the OG Emancipation Proclamater.
Aug 11 2008 Weapon Wielding Wobots Worry World
This is one of the most disturbing videos I've seen in a long time. It's two robots going at it with medieval weaponry. I have no idea why they exist, or what they're demonstrating, but I can't believe some shmuck programmed robots to swing weapons. WTF were you thinking? Like I don't already have enough to worry about. This is definitely gonna give me nightmares and daymares. But hopefully not a rash. I just got over the last one and can finally sit down on the toilet again. I freaking hate hovering.
Youtube
Thanks Brian, I love fearing for my life.
Aug 11 2008 Woman Knitting Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 Scarf, Will Be About 30 Feet Long Finished
Cassie from Georgia is knitting a Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 scarf. Why? Because she's awesome, that's why. So far it's about 1/3 done and already over 10 feet long. So it's gonna be one hell of a long scarf. Keep you real warm. Now I'm not sure who that guy is in the picture there, but if I had to guess, I'd say a man that knows what's up -- knitting and Irish whiskey, always a good time. You start out making a sweater for your sister, and end up knitting yourself a night in the slammer. Survival Tip: Knit your asshole closed.
Hit the jump for one more picture, along with a link to her project blog.
