Jul 16 2008Tempest Storm, Born 1928, Still Stripping
Tempest Storm was born in 1928 by some other name and was stripping by 1950. And guess what -- she's still at it. And, oh, I just puked a little.
"I don't just get up there and rip my clothes off," she says.Indeed, the 80-year-old burlesque queen takes her clothes off very slowly.
Her act is a time capsule. She knows nothing of poles. She would never put her derriere in some man's face. Her prop of choice is a boa, perhaps the occasional divan.
It takes four numbers, she says adamantly, four numbers to get it all off. To do it classy.
I disagree Tempest, three minutes is about all the class I can stand. Anyway, the geriatric Storm claims she dated Elvis and regularly danced for the likes of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Mickey Rooney, Nat King Cole, and The Geekologie Writer's great-grandfather. Okay, the puke dribble has developed into a full fledged projectile vomit, so I'm gonna have to wrap things up here with another quote.
Oh my God, I'm emptying my whole stomach.
Ha, I quoted myself. Hit the jump for two more pictures, but a warning: one is from the back (waist up) and shows her in her stripping outfit. It's definitely suitable for work, but not for a mere mortal's eyes. You have been warned. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I WARNED YOU. WARNING, WARNING! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! Fuck it, lose your sight, I don't care.
Hit it if you're cool with blindness.
Stripper, 80, still taking her clothes off [cnn]
Thanks Julian, I hate my eyes anyways and they deserve to suffer.
Reader Comments
1. Momboelitist - July 16, 2008 2:54 PM
What's the deal with her left thumb?
2. Skurupu - July 16, 2008 2:57 PM
Dibs.
3. Julian - July 16, 2008 2:58 PM
oh yeah baby!! nice. look at those arthritic hands . . . the more out of whack the better the whack . . . you all know what im saying? haha nice. I love her naturally long flowing red hair.
4. bann3d - July 16, 2008 2:59 PM
Tap
5. beefytee - July 16, 2008 2:59 PM
I don't 100% understand why this is on geekology. Do people who like gadgets also like old bitches takin they clothes off?
6. beefytee - July 16, 2008 3:00 PM
#1...an old war injury. The great stripper wars of ought 7.
7. Leg3nd - July 16, 2008 3:01 PM
@5 I for one love both..
8. Count Orlock - July 16, 2008 3:05 PM
Jesus christ..that is just awful....
9. super positron - July 16, 2008 3:08 PM
@ 5 geeks love strippers, its a known fact. If it wasnt for nude bars I'd still think vaginas ran sideways and not up and down.
10. Julian - July 16, 2008 3:09 PM
@5
dude, The day the iPhone came out i was torn on whether to spend my $200 on the phone or on Betty, the 92 year old hooker I frequent at the docks. She may not have teeth or a right eye but god damn does she have experience. FYI, I never got the iPhone.
11. I Watch Stuff Writer - July 16, 2008 3:11 PM
God, her hands. She's like a drag show Grim Reaper.
12. Popadopolis - July 16, 2008 3:26 PM
Anyone else notice just how far down her bra is on her elephant-skin back? It's like she's really trying hard to keep them from falling all the way down to her toes. God that's hot. You say she does private shows...?
13. huh - July 16, 2008 3:33 PM
@9
Vaginas do not run, they gallop.
14. Smartass - July 16, 2008 3:41 PM
@13 a runny vagina is never a good sign.
@11 Does that make you hot? Huh? Does it?
15. Sophie - July 16, 2008 3:42 PM
See that picture she's signin?
Oh lord you know those things hang down past her knees
16. SlowMonkey - July 16, 2008 3:50 PM
the Cathollics could use her in Parochial school to keep the little boys from learning to masturbate (a big Catholic no-no)
17. WTF???!!!!!!!! - July 16, 2008 3:53 PM
Why is this on here?!!!!! That's just scary man, especially the last pic, and the thumb, wtf is that? I threw up a little when i scrolled down. Well i can't say i wasn't warned. Once again EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
18. gypsy - July 16, 2008 4:13 PM
for being as old as she is, i think she looks pretty good. i hope i look that good when i'm ancient. although even if i did, i wouldn't still be a stripper--i mean, not that i am now. . .
19. Eddy - July 16, 2008 4:16 PM
I guess some people are old fashioned and just hate the idea of retirement. o.O
20. lisa - July 16, 2008 4:18 PM
Is she Madonnas younger sister?
21. lisa - July 16, 2008 4:19 PM
hey super guy, use your awesome laser penis and investagatory skills to find out for us.
22. michelle - July 16, 2008 4:19 PM
Lisa: No, she is your mom.
23. lisa - July 16, 2008 4:21 PM
my mom is looking for nipple concealers so it might be!
24. michelle - July 16, 2008 4:23 PM
mmmmm geriatric strength pasties...
25. Robyn - July 16, 2008 4:30 PM
On the one hand, I've got to admire her chutzpah. On the other hand I have five fingers. Some people just can't let go of the glory days. Or maybe, since she's 80, she's delusional? What I'd like to know is, WHO is paying to see her? Or does she do free shows at retirement homes? And do they have defibrillators standing by?
26. Meat Curtains! - July 16, 2008 4:44 PM
seriously that fucking shit if fucking gross as fuck
27. Sell Porn Make Money - July 16, 2008 4:52 PM
That should be illegal.
28. Jazzman - July 16, 2008 5:11 PM
The mental image gets worse... remove the wig shes wearing!!!
29. Lotusflwr - July 16, 2008 5:33 PM
GGGGILF?
30. nico - July 16, 2008 5:48 PM
I'm so fucking turned on right now.
31. pickle - July 16, 2008 5:54 PM
God bless this gal. This makes me not feel so bad about being OLD like the Price is Right post made me feel. I'm nowhere near 80 but if I ever am I still won't have the balls to take my clothes off for Andy Rooney??
32. constant drama - July 16, 2008 6:27 PM
Holy crap! Temptest Strom is still alive?
Hey you guys, just gp to youTube and type in her name. Woman was hot when she was younger.
33. mim - July 16, 2008 8:55 PM
I kinda took constant drama's advice and googled her
she was gorgeous when she was younger...not saying that stripping at 80 is okay, but seriously, go look up her younger days pictures
34. So that's what I ate this morning - July 16, 2008 11:34 PM
I find the picture of her hands the most disturbing. They literally look like mummified claws. Soooo disgusting.
35. mimang - July 17, 2008 4:34 AM
oh. my. god.
she has guts though, i got to admit. better-looking than all of you combined when you turn 80. i bet those old farts are still wheeling after her! you know, with wheelchairs.
36. needs alias - July 17, 2008 5:44 AM
don't think i would have hit that at any time in her lifetime. yeah. i'm 92 too.
37. http://webescape.wordpress.com/ - July 17, 2008 8:30 AM
Jesus she terrifies me.
38. haunted.by.1984 - July 17, 2008 10:47 AM
Who says you can't make a career in stripping?
39. Ken - July 17, 2008 11:45 AM
With some heavy makeup, we can fix anything!
40. This is my BOOM stick - July 17, 2008 1:04 PM
Yesssss I just found this years halloween costume. Score. Serious all i need is a red wig and my great grandmothers stripper outfit.............Come on Grandma......what you have a show that night.... Damn I guess ill wrap myself up in toilet paper again this year.
41. guate6 - July 18, 2008 1:33 PM
#9: VULVA's run up and down, VAGINAS run inwards.
In any case, this is slightly disturbing. The thing I'm thinking about is: who the hell is her audience? Geriatrics love seeing younger girls stripping, young guys love seeing young girls stripping...women love seeing men strippping (usually), so to whom does she cater?
42. slowandeasy - July 20, 2008 12:21 AM
shes so hot, i wonder if she has an older sister
43. LISA - August 11, 2008 12:16 AM
I SPEAK NOT ONLY FOR MYSELF , BUT FOR MANY, AND I DO MEAN MANY PEOPLE WHO FEEL THAT TEMPEST STORM IS AN ICON!
IT WAS TEMPEST STORM WHO MADE THE BURLEQUE CIRCUT MEMORABLE. IT WAS TEMPEST STORM THAT BROKE THROUGH AND PAVED THE WAY FOR ALL THE REST.
I WAS AT THE EXOTIC WORLD MUSUEM WHEN IT WAS LOCATED IN HELEDALE, CALIFORNIA. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE THAT DAY. FOR THAT WAS THE DAY I SEEN WHAT TRUE GOD GIVEN BEAUTY WAS...THE DARK HAIRED, BEAUTY I GAZED UPON WAS NONE OTHER THEN TEMPEST STORM. SHE WAS TRULY BREATHTAKING! AND I WILL TELL YOU THIS, NEVER BEFORE AND NOT SINCE THAT DAY HAVE I EVER SEEN ONE WOMAN COMPARABLE TO THE BEAUTIFUL TEMPEST STORM,