Jul 24 2008New Zealand Has 'Odd' Name Trouble
New Zealand, a country best known for setting off a massive string of explosives that separated the land mass from Australia and floated out to sea, is having 'odd' name troubles. You probably remember the kiwi couple that was in the news awhile back when it was decided they couldn't name their son 4Real or OMGWTFBBQ. Well now more New Zealand couples are having trouble, mostly because they keep trying to name their children stupid shit.
A judge in New Zealand made a young girl a ward of court so that she could change the name she hated - Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. Judge Rob Murfitt said that the name embarrassed the nine-year-old and could expose her to teasing.
You think? Not to mention it would take six years to write your name on the top of every homework assignment. Officials have blocked Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy, Sex Fruit, Fat Boy, Cinderella Beauty Blossom, and Fish and Chips (twins), but allowed Violence, Number 16 Bus Shelter, Midnight Chardonnay, and Benson and Hedges (twins).
What the hell are they putting in the water supply in New Zealand? This is ridiculous. Number 16 Bus Shelter? You can imagine where that poor bastard was conceived. Violence? Sex Fruit? Listen, I've got two kids, and it wasn't hard giving them normal freaking names: BOOM! and 1.21 Jigowatts. BOOM!'s the boy, and that's what I call him unless I'm talking about him to someone else. In that case he's The UPS Man's.
Read the full story if you want.
NZ judge orders 'odd' name change [bbcnews]
Thanks Isabel and Jonathan, be thankful your parents weren't nuts.
Reader Comments
1. Count Orlock - July 24, 2008 10:16 AM
Jesus f***ing christ...and I thought we had some weird name here in the US.
2. Richthegringo - July 24, 2008 10:17 AM
LAST!!!!!
Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii??
Ahhh those wacky New Zealanders!!!
3. iRock - July 24, 2008 10:36 AM
You know, if i have a kid....I'm gonna name him......
PEW PEW PEW!
Oh yes, someone had to say it!!!
4. damn luddites - July 24, 2008 10:40 AM
how embarrassing for your kid. he'll constantly be made fun of for having his name spelled wrong. it's not 1.21 Jigowatts. it's "1.21 Gigawatts"!
5. Madgame - July 24, 2008 10:46 AM
I'm going to name my kid 'PEW PEW PEW'
6. SmokingGirl - July 24, 2008 10:50 AM
I knew a girl who was named Sunshine Falls Around.
I suppose that it was appropriate since she lived in sundresses, flip-flops, and had long crazy hair. She also smelled of rosemary and cat piss. Let's just say she was earthy.
7. Pre and Post Wife - July 24, 2008 11:04 AM
hahahaha wtf
oh and uhm I better advertise prewife.com DUDEZ - and my new one, POSTwife. You know, after the Deevorce
8. Number 21 Bus Shelter - July 24, 2008 11:05 AM
Ive never been so ashamed to be a kiwi!
(except maybe loosing the rugby world cup again)
9. JohnnyIrish - July 24, 2008 11:22 AM
Damn.. #3 and 5 beat me too!
10. Amanda - July 24, 2008 11:35 AM
My step brother is called Boom! But hes from Thailand and it may well be a normal name there... my dad changed his name when brought him to England though.
11. http://webescape.wordpress.com/ - July 24, 2008 11:35 AM
Isn't it child abuse to intentionally make your kids emotionally scarred?
12. Momboelitist - July 24, 2008 12:02 PM
I'm assuming there are drugs involved?
When I was a kid they called me Sonny but it was only because I was so "bright". LOLOLOL!!! *wipes tear* That never gets old!
Come on, give it to me!!! High five!!! I know, it's too good!!!
Guess you had to be there.....
13. nullCRC - July 24, 2008 12:17 PM
My next one will be "All Your Base Are Belong To Us"
14. Stuff&Nonsense - July 24, 2008 12:46 PM
I wanted a relative to name her 1st born "Max" with a middle name of "William" then he would have been...
Maximilian William McWilliams.
She didn't
...and for that I will never forgive her!
15. Stuff&Nonsense - July 24, 2008 12:47 PM
BTW, I named my 1st born after a character from a sci-fi TV show.
16. guate6 - July 24, 2008 12:48 PM
When did the Hippies mate with the Kiwis??
I had a neighbor about a year ago who introduced me to her kids (she was clearly a hippie...didn't bathe, no shaving, smelled bad). She had named them Rainbow (older girl), Ocean (middle boy), & Cody (youngest boy).
This is loony!
17. Meaty Urologist - July 24, 2008 1:28 PM
You think that's bad? Try introducing yourself as Meaty. Boy, do I get the looks.
God, I'll never forgive my parents for that.
18. Rob - July 24, 2008 2:49 PM
Omg... ppl that names children with such ridicolous names should go to jail...
Rob Kickapoo Halford
19. emily - July 24, 2008 3:06 PM
You wouldn't f*** with a kid named Violence. Or Bad Bad Leroy Brown... I'm moving that one to the top of my kid names list.
20. Dr. Gero - July 24, 2008 3:19 PM
Just so you know, Android #8, Android #16, Android #17, and Android #18 are all patented. And I will sue (read kill) your ass!
21. Rogz - July 24, 2008 3:47 PM
Um yeah I'm from New Zealand, I'm pretty sure it came out yesterday that none of those names have actually been registered...
Personally, I think Sex Fruit could be a blessing, not a curse. Just saying...
22. john - July 24, 2008 4:35 PM
f***ing hippies "Laine goes to Hollywood"
what a bunch of retards
23. Spankermatic - July 24, 2008 4:40 PM
Just thought you should know, some of those names are for people who have legally changed their name via deed poll, not because their parents were retarded.
The full name of one of them is Count Lawrence Cinnamon Sex Fruit, which he changed himself - so not really abuse. Maybe self abuse. he he he.
24. Shoes - July 24, 2008 4:59 PM
...Parental given name or self-changed... I say let's bloody nuke New Zealand. No one will miss those sheep.
25. Meaty_Urologist - July 24, 2008 5:14 PM
@ sheep comment: Shoes, speak for yourself.
26. BlightedArt - July 24, 2008 6:23 PM
Everyone seems to think us kiwi's just have sex with random sheep all day.
Well that's not true, we get to know them for a week first.
-On topic
I saw this on the news the other day and was pretty blown away by the stupidity / cruelness by it. >_>
Anyway, later guys, me and my son Turd are going to go to the zoo.
27. Zing - July 24, 2008 6:24 PM
*looks at map*
what kind of parent calls their kid 'wellington'?
28. Rogz - July 24, 2008 7:32 PM
@ Shoes...you're a douche.
29. L - July 25, 2008 4:32 AM
@25 Meaty, then we'll have no-one to beat for the Bledisloe tomorrow hehehe (Kiwi's are cool, it's like having a whole nation of brothers to playfight with).
@24 Shoes done get pwnt uhuh
30. Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii - July 25, 2008 7:19 AM
You think my name's bad??? My twin brothers are called Ben Dover and Phil McCracken.
31. Tina - July 25, 2008 7:47 AM
your making it sound like were stupid or something. were not all like that
32. gypsy - July 25, 2008 9:41 AM
#15--my firstborn's name is endymion (from sailor moon), and he loves it
33. Simon - July 25, 2008 12:40 PM
My Mother actually went to school with 'Number 16 Bus Shelter'!
I've been repeating the story for years, of how he got his incredibly unfortunate name, and no-one ever beleives me! But at last! Vindication via the media on a world-wide level!
Anyway... not all Kiwis are bonkers. Number 16 Bus Shelter actually has a completely reasonable excuse for getting that name.
Polynesian families that moved to New Zealand during the 1950s' from neighbouring Pacific Islands would often select Anglicised names for their children, to help them assimilate into Westernised Culture. They would take thier inspiration from Statues of Famous People, Place Names & Street Names.
'Numer 16 Bus Shelter's recently relocated Mother, speaking only Samoan was on her way to register his birth at the Mt. Albert Council Offices. As she waited for her bus to arrive, she looked up, sounded out the words, and simply thought 'That has a pretty ring to it.'
It wasn't until the childs first day at school, that the School Principal got in a coucil translator to explain the faux pas to his completely oblivious Parents.
The following day, he returned to school, remained 'Albert', after the Council Offices where he had his birth registered.
See? It's quite sweet & understandable really!
34. suzy blue balls - July 25, 2008 7:34 PM
Simon... i want so badly to believe that your story is true. but these interwebs are making falses daily. but you seem like a trustworthy guy. so post a picture of Number 16 Bus Shelter. im sure he's hideous and very busstoply.
35. Jon M - July 28, 2008 12:28 PM
Ben, so it’s your birthday. Another year older, another year to remember all the things that you didn’t get done that would have benefited humanity, another year to consider your importance in being here, another year to remember who your “real” friends are, another year to organize your life and make a difference. And the reason you want to do this is because there are so many people like me who just don’t give a shit! Happy Birthday
36. Hawaii Holiday Packages - March 9, 2009 11:04 AM
If everybody gives their kid a weird name then there wouldn't be any teasing. I say we push forth with this and make it mandatory!