Jul 8 2008Jump Out A Window: The Wizard Escape Pack
Look around. See any flames? Take a whiff. Does it smell like smoke? Take your iPod's earbuds out. Is there a fire-alarm blaring? If so, strap on the Wizard safety pack, attach the end of the lifeline to something sturdy (no, not your computer monitor) and then dive out a window. Now sit back and piss your dress pants while the Wizard's 250-meter cable lowers you safely to the ground. Designed by HJC Design, the promises an "automated public safety solution with up to 250-meters of reciprocating lifeline technology." You just better hope a co-worker wants your attach point and disconnects your line before you hit ground level (lest you hit ground level at a break-neck velocity). That's why I'm sticking to plan A: my trusty hang glider. Sure it takes up the entire men's bathroom, but seriously, would you rather be safe in the event of an emergency or urinate in your coworker's desk drawers? Ahhhhhhhhhh, exactly. *zip*
Wizard escape pack: too late for MacGyver, too conceptual for Bauer [engadget]
Thanks Julian, I'm thinking we'll use these to escape the strip club without paying our tab
Reader Comments
1. Asbo - July 8, 2008 12:20 PM
Why is no one wearing that suit?
2. The Imaginary Reviewer - July 8, 2008 12:31 PM
Hmm, did they have to make it look like early 90s X-Men?
3. Julian - July 8, 2008 12:40 PM
I'd walk around with this hidden under a trenchcoat (looking slightly like quasimodo) just so one day i jump out a window and look awesome. of course it would probably look cooler if it were a parachute with Michelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles giving the finger imprinted on the top. James Bond doesn't even have the balls for that.
4. Dang - July 8, 2008 12:47 PM
When I say the pic I was definitely hoping that thing was a glorified jet-pack... sadly it isn't.
Still pretty kick-ass though.
5. Dang - July 8, 2008 12:48 PM
saw*
6. Grievousfish - July 8, 2008 1:10 PM
Hmm.. just what I need - to be slowly lowered down the side of a burning/exploding/collapsing building.
7. Momboelitist - July 8, 2008 1:20 PM
You guys are tough to please! Here is a great way to save your life and you're all worried about how you'll look!
@2, figures you are a reviewer....
8. Clinch - July 8, 2008 3:54 PM
Terrible idea.
Firstly you waste time looking about a burning building for this weird thing.
When you've found it, it takes a bit to put on, (all the while, the fire is getting closer).
When you've got it on, you need to find something near a window that will hold, and wont get melted by the fire before you hit the ground.
And when you've done that you can finally open the windo- oh no, too late! It took so long, that you're burnt and crispy.
Meanwhile, everyone else is safe outside, wondering why you didn't just go through the fire exits like everyone else.
9. beastman AIDS - July 8, 2008 6:15 PM
ummm - i think you'l find the idea is that you use this if your trapped on a high level.
Beats the hell out of jumping out of the window to a splattery death to avoid a crispy one.
10. Richthegringo - July 9, 2008 8:05 AM
"automated public safety solution with up to 250-meters of reciprocating lifeline technology."
...Bit of a bugger if your building is only 249 meters tall eh?
WEEEEEEEEEEEE.....SPLAT!
11. guate6 - July 12, 2008 10:16 AM
...reminds me of the suit used in the movie Entrapment, where Zeta-Jones' character lowers herself down a building using something similar.
12. grihm - July 14, 2008 12:31 PM
Bruce Willis could have used this in Die Hard.