Jul 8 2008Garden Zombies Add An Undead Touch To Your Flowerbed, Hopefully Scare Solicitors
Tired of staring at the same damn group of garden gnomes in your flowerbed? Well how about (un)livening things up a bit with a Garden Zombie? Garden Zombies cost $90 and the 32"W x 20"D x 8"H sculptures look like they're climbing out of the ground and ready to gnaw on some headfruit.
Not for the faint of heart, the life-sized, gray-toned zombie will claw his way out of your garden plot or family room corner, pleading for assistance with the most lifelike eyes you've ever seen. His macabre expression is captured in such great detail in quality designer resin and finished so realistically that you'll swear you can hear him breathing!
Garden? Maybe. Inside the apartment? F*** no. The last thing I need to see while stumbling my way to a midnight snack is a zombie climbing out of the floor. I'd decimate my tighty-offwhities (if I was wearing any) and cry like a baby. Eventually I'd come to, grab one of my zombie-survival kits, and proceed to kill the poor sap that lives in the apartment below mine.
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Reader Comments
1. deutlich - July 8, 2008 2:52 PM
If I ever put one of those things in my yard, I'm sure I'd scare the crap out of myself at 3am after a drunken stumble back to the house (after a DD dropped me off, that is)
It's funny to look at in a picture.. but I could NEVER get one
2. Julian - July 8, 2008 3:04 PM
that's hilarious! I would set those bad boys up by the school next to my house. that would teach those damn kids to shut the hell up at 3 in the afternoon, some of us are trying to sleep damn it. Although i do agree with #1 coming home drunk to one of these on your lawn would make me shit a brick and then probably brake my knuckles trying to punch this thing into submission.
3. beefytee - July 8, 2008 3:36 PM
that is f***ing awesome!
4. butterbee - July 8, 2008 4:00 PM
how about on the wall at head-level, right inside your front door?
5. Clinch - July 8, 2008 4:04 PM
Step1: Buy on of these, some motion trackers, small electric motors, and some red LEDs
Step2: Put red LEDs, and motion tracker- motors in zombies eyes
Step3: Awesomeness
Would probably be a good idea to fit a speaker in its mouth, so where someone walks past it, it groans to get their attention.
Also neet to make a "beware of the zombie" sign.
6. emily - July 8, 2008 5:10 PM
those are old as shit--they've been in Design Toscano catalogs for the last five years at least
7. automaticidiot - July 8, 2008 5:47 PM
OMFG I WANT ONE !
8. SlowMonkey - July 8, 2008 8:05 PM
@6 Well then how come I haven't seen any? I was even looking for something like this for a Halloween decoration.
9. T-bag - July 9, 2008 12:04 AM
oh!my God! I heard this news earlier at @@@*****C e l e b C u p i d.c o m***@@ where celebrities and rich people are talking about this at forum of that site. It's said Charlie Sheen has found his perfect match there at"""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""
10. Cheatachu22 - July 9, 2008 1:08 AM
@#9
oh!my God! @@@*****N o b o d y C a r e s*****@@@.
Damn these are kickass. They need to be WAY more gory though. You call that rotting? Come on!
@#5
Oh hell yes. You are a freaking genius.
11. Jaysus... - July 9, 2008 4:39 AM
OMG, "decimate," verb, means to:
kill
every
tenth
12. Tenchi059 - July 9, 2008 5:33 AM
Celebrities and rich people are talking about THIS?
Who would have said.
13. Richthegringo - July 9, 2008 7:55 AM
I wants one!!! Way better then your average garden gnome...if only they did one holding a fishing rod...
@ #5 - Genius!!!
14. Jaysus Christo - July 9, 2008 8:47 AM
#@11 dont be an ass
Main Entry:
dec·i·mate
3b: to cause great destruction or harm to
15. Wanderer - July 9, 2008 8:54 AM
The model and face details are nice, but it needs a serious paint job. Splotchy skin and blood splatters would make it pretty terrifying to see at night if you weren't expecting it.
16. jumpin_j - July 9, 2008 12:21 PM
Oh, so that's what happened to Uncle Phil. Hey there, Phil, you look great. What? Brains? No I don't have any. Say, you want some coffee or.... no, I don't have brains, stop asking. No, NOOOOO!!!!!
17. Joe - July 9, 2008 3:44 PM
Is it P.C. to put this in a cemetary?
18. rose mcc - July 9, 2008 8:35 PM
I'm gonna get me one and stick it in my garden for my grandchildren to see. I'm still smiling. Granny Rose
19. SmokingGirl - July 10, 2008 1:39 AM
Julian you are even less entertaining than I am.
Stop it or i'll eat you.
20. Newfie Jedi - July 11, 2008 1:19 AM
Being a wrestling fan, I cant help but notice this thing looks spookily like John Cena
21. ZombieGeek - July 19, 2008 11:18 AM
This zombie is great. If it was a bit cheaper I'd get it. I'd get a couple. Put them in the neighbours gardens that they love so much and then tape the fallout. I'd have to sneak them into a dark spot so that it is not obvious it is there until it is time to water.
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