Jul 30 2008Cheeto Jesus, Dubbed "Cheesus", Found In 99¢ Snack Bag, Contains No Trans-Fat
Not to be outdone by last week's Allah meat gristle, Jesus decided to show himself to a Montana woman in a 99¢ bag of Cheetos.
Most of her family and friends believe it looks like a mini orange sculpture of Jesus on the cross. Ramey and her husband call it "Cheesus." Ramey doesn't plan to sell the Cheeto because it's bringing a lot of joy into her home. She will keep it in a safe deposit box or put it on display so more people can enjoy it.
This is clearly a sign. A sign that, if I'm reading it correctly, indicates Cheetos are, as I've long suspected, The Chosen Snack. Every orange crumb in your keyboard is sacred, and also, delicious. One more sign like this and I'm seriously converting.
UPDATE: I found a Virgin Mary ice cube in a frozen Mountain Dew. It's been fun folks, but I'm going to priest school.
Hit the jump for a video of the holy snack.
Related Stories
Pope Benedict XVI Sending Text Messages (07/16/2008)
Meat Gristle Spells "Allah" In Arabic, Is A Sign (07/23/2008)
World's Largest Pool: No, Not The Ocean (06/26/2008)
Cheating: Jesus As An Invisible Teammate (06/03/2008)
Reader Comments
1. Ryan - July 30, 2008 4:29 PM
F1RST THIS RULEZ!!!
just kidding. This is retarded
2. ZenoZTankof - July 30, 2008 4:34 PM
Oh Cheesus.....
3. meatpaul - July 30, 2008 4:41 PM
PRAISE ALLAH
4. zon - July 30, 2008 4:56 PM
i like the other cheesus better
http://spaceshipawesomes.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/cheesus.jpg
5. n00b - July 30, 2008 4:58 PM
mmmm sacrilegious
6. Icon - July 30, 2008 4:59 PM
I can't believe this type of retardedness gets on the news.
7. JaC - July 30, 2008 5:19 PM
@6 - Amen.
8. TW!TCH - July 30, 2008 5:37 PM
mmm... sacre-licious!
9. fleity - July 30, 2008 5:58 PM
11. Commandment: you shall not eat your lord and savior
10. Uncle Eccoli - July 30, 2008 6:02 PM
It looks like a bagworm to me.
11. Penguinsauce - July 30, 2008 6:31 PM
That looks more like a uterus. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't look like a uterus.
12. whos the pat - July 30, 2008 6:55 PM
because a lower case t is the most uncommon and unique shape that can be found.
13. SmokingGirl - July 30, 2008 7:29 PM
It's this kind of shenanigans that make Christians look bad...
14. The Fonz - July 30, 2008 7:52 PM
oooh ouch.
Wicca -1 Christianity - 0
Round 2.
FIGHT!
15. bcuigd - July 30, 2008 8:27 PM
I saw many people are discussing this on**************Blackcentury dot com**********. You may go there to check it if you are interested.
16. jesse - July 30, 2008 10:31 PM
You would be surprised how much that looks like a uterus. Seriously.
17. Edgar - July 30, 2008 11:50 PM
Let's hope Jesus finds this amusing. Otherwise, this cheeto is toast!
18. Lynz - July 31, 2008 1:11 AM
Vagina?
19. http://webescape.wordpress.com/ - July 31, 2008 5:32 AM
Why would people even be so sad as to report this? If that had been in my pack I'd have bitten his head off like a jelly baby and sucked up his holy goodness.
20. Ginormagantuan - July 31, 2008 6:00 AM
hahaha! that does not look like jesus! that's just a good ol cheeto cow head...... yeah this could be anything! take that "allah" meat.
21. Adri Leya - July 31, 2008 12:33 PM
Mmmm Jesus is cheezy and delicious.
22. The Anti-Christ - July 31, 2008 12:45 PM
to whoever thought that looked like jesus: please don't breed.
23. Cheatachu22 - July 31, 2008 2:24 PM
Holy crap! That fairly normal shaped snack food might look like Jesus if you were high and drunk and retarded! Truly the apocalypse has come!
24. Gwenny - July 31, 2008 8:48 PM
Ah this would be a good place share some other breaking news. Turns out Kraft is moving to Israel where they will change their name to Cheeses of Nazareth.
25. Snoodle - July 31, 2008 9:23 PM
Lol, even for random religious sightings...that's pretty weak.
What kind of nutcase is scarfing down Cheetos and decides one of the more malformed ones (and they're fairly common...) looks like Jesus o.O
26. rednwhite - July 31, 2008 10:12 PM
I see a giraffe.
27. first? - August 5, 2008 1:34 PM
oh fuck everything looks like jesus