Jul 25 2008 Man Jumps From Helicopter, Catches Marlin

This is a video of a guy helicopter fishing, or heli-fishing, or jumping out of a helicopter onto a Marlin if you're not into the whole brevity thing. Allegedly it's real, but there were a couple things that made be believe otherwise. Like the guy filming in the water is already right freaking there (I think he tranquilized the fish), and jumping onto something with a spear-nose seems dangerous. Nevermind, people are always doing stupid, dangerous shit. So I guess that makes it real. I'm trying it.

UPDATE: Turns out I don't live near the ocean, gonna have to improvise. Oh oh -- got it!

UPDATE UPDATE: Okay, I jumped off the top of the bedpost onto a whale and finally caught it. Not the whale, herpes.

Have a great weekend everyone, XOXO.

Mad Aussie Guy Catches a Marlin from Helicopter [gizmodo]

Jul 25 2008 Rockabye Baby!: Rock Lullabyes For Kids

Rockabye Baby! is a series of albums put out by some record label that feature your favorite rock songs turned into wordless, soothing lullabies for children. Each album costs $17 and is basically a "best of" the particular artist. There are a ton to choose from like Metallica, Rolling Stones, Green Day, The Beatles, The Pixies, AC/DC, Smashing Pumpkins, U2, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, Radiohead, Tool, Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, along with a bunch of others. I posted a sampler of their stuff after the jump, which includes a short video at the beginning of Metallica's guitarist Kirk Hammet talking about how he used the CD. So maybe they're doing it legally too, I dunno. What I do know is that kids don't need damn lullabies to sleep. What they need is a spot of bourbon. One for you, the rest of the bottle for daddy. Now remember: don't get out of bed or the goblins that live in the dark will eat you. Even your bones. I won't be able to save you. By the time I hear you scream and retreat from your mother's war-torn vagina, you'll be long gone. Well, sweet dreams.

Hit the jump to hear said lullabies.

Continue Reading " Rockabye Baby!: Rock Lullabyes For Kids "

Jul 25 2008 Eye Candy: Geeky Stained Glass Art Gallery

This is a beautiful stained glass gallery of geekdom. That's Vader there, modeled after a drawing by a 6-year old (seriously). After the jump you'll find all kinds of goodness like Link, Mega Man, Einstein, Pyramid Head from Silent Hill, the electromagnetic spectrum, Spider Man, and Master Chief. Hit the jump see them all -- but not hard or they might break. Sorry, a little glass humor there. Here's another one:

There's a stained glass window and a regular window in the same room.

Stained Glass Window: I can see through you.
Regular Window: Clearly.

HAHA HA HA HA AH AHA H AH! I just made that up. I swear, I should really do stand up -- but I love lying down! HIYO! I'm here till 5 folks, make sure to tip your bartender.

Carefully hit the jump for a bunch more, you want to see them. Also, hit the link for a little explanation of each piece.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy: Geeky Stained Glass Art Gallery "

Jul 25 2008 The Rest Of Star Wars Series 3 Mimobot's

Remember when we revealed Wicket as the second character in Mimoco's Series 3 of Star Wars flash drives? Well the remainder have been announced, with a Royal Guard and shiny-ass C-3P0 rounding out the set. Damn chrome dome, you're blinding me with that golden melon of yours! They're available now and come in 1,2,4 and 8GB varieties for $40, $50, $75 and $110, respectively. They did a great job with them all, but Wicket will always hold a special place in my heart. And also, stomach. I ate him!

Mimoco Star Wars Product Page

Jul 25 2008 This Is What Happens...

When your neighbors are a nuclear power plant.

The Chinese pig, dubbed 'Monkey Face', is apparently healthy despite being fugly as hell and having extra long back legs that cause it to hop around instead of walk. I gotta admit though, it's cuter than my sister's new baby.

Hit the jump to see the uncensored picture and be scarred and saddened.

Continue Reading " This Is What Happens... "

Jul 25 2008 Italian Chicks In Bikinis Playing Human Tetris

Tetris: awesome. Human Tetris: awesomer. Italian chicks in bikinis Tetris: PEW. PEW PEW PEW!

NOTE: Might be considered NSFW depending on how your employer feels about sexy Italian buttocks.

Youtube (search human tetris for a ton more)

Thanks Ross, want to go to Italy? Also, thanks to Bryan, king of the pew pew pew.

Jul 25 2008 I Told You So: Alien Visitations And UFOs Are Real, Confirmed By Apollo 14 Astronaut

Dr. Edgar Mitchell, sixth man to walk on the moon (in a Hollywood studio, according to my grandmother), is claiming that aliens are real and have made human contact.

'I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we've been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real,' Dr Mitchell said.

'It's been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it's leaked out and some of us have been privileged to have been briefed on some of it.

Chillingly, he claimed our technology is 'not nearly as sophisticated' as theirs and "had they been hostile", he warned 'we would be been gone by now'.

An article, along with the whole 9:00 radio interview is posted after the jump if you're interested. But I'll say this: don't believe everything an astronaut tells you. Although he does admit that the majority of alien stories you hear are fake. Ha, reminds me of the time I stuffed a broken car antennae up my ass and called the local news.

Hit it for the interview.

Continue Reading " I Told You So: Alien Visitations And UFOs Are Real, Confirmed By Apollo 14 Astronaut "

Jul 25 2008 Spam King Escapes Prison, Kills Wife And Daughter Before Committing Suicide

Well folks, the asshole went and did it. Edward Davidson, a man competing for the "Spam King of Douchenburg" title with this guy was serving a measly 21 months in prison after being convicted of falsifying header information to send spam e-mail, tax evasion and criminal forfeiture. But instead of bending over and taking his well deserved cavity searches like a man, he decided to escape. Then kill his wife and 3-year old daughter before turning the gun on himself. What a piece of shit.

UPDATE: Had the story all mixed up, fixed now.

Fugitive spammer dies in murder-suicide [msnbc]
and
'Spam King' kills family, self; U.S. attorney calls him 'a coward' [rockymountainnews]

Thanks Jessica, Dianne, and Todd.

Jul 24 2008 Why So Serious?: Custom Joker Shoes

Custom shoe-painter SweatShop Clothing sent me the link to a pair of Heath Ledger Joker shoes he made for some chick in New Zealand that wanted them to wear to the movie or something. Here they are. Hit the jump to see a ton of pictures, including several of the painting process. Great job SweatShop. Now how about some polos, but instead of a crocodile or guy on horseback, a little "Why so serious?" Joker face. Oh hell yes. Just let me know if you need any help in the factory, I'll send the neighbor's kids right over.

Hit it for a ton more, and a link to the artist's Myspace if you want something similar.

P.S. Miss you Heath.

Continue Reading " Why So Serious?: Custom Joker Shoes "

Jul 24 2008 ZombieHarmony: The Zombie Of Your Dreams Is Only A Click Away

Still looking for that special someone zombie? Well look no further than ZombieHarmony, an online dating service for the undead. ZombieHarmony...because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely. But don't go trying to use the site if you haven't been infected.

Disclaimer: ZombieHarmony is for zombies only. We advise signing up for ZombieHarmony only if you lack a pulse, have limited motor skills, or feel an intense desire to feast on human beings. We are not responsible for lost or ingested loved ones. If you go on a date with a zombie, we cannot be held liable for contributing to the apocalypse.

Please date responsibly: bring a baseball bat or crowbar.

Despite the warning, I used the site anyways and think I found the zombie of my dreams, her name is LimblessLisa, and she's gorgeous in a corspy kinda way. Just kidding, I don't think the site really works, it's just a fun looking frontpage. Sorry to let you down, sickos. But seriously, if you want to date an undead bitch with a taste for blood my ex-girlfriend's number is (XXX) XXX-XXXX.

UPDATE: Had to remove the number. Haha, I'm being sued!

ZombieHarmony

Thanks to Alex, Julian, and Shawn, all of whom used the website to score some zombie brain.

Jul 24 2008 LEGO Sushi, It's What's (Not) For Dinner

Ever had a really crappy day at work only to come home to a nagging wife and a burnt grilled cheese sandwich? Well multiply that by 1,305 and you'll have an idea what the last five years of my life have been like. Can a man not get some LEGO sushi and a carafe of peace and quiet for once in his God-forsaken life? Apparently not. And that, my friends, is why I'm jumping.

UPDATE: Damnit, I think I rolled my ankle. When it's better I'll try again. And this time I'm stacking a chair on top of the doghouse.

Hit the jump for some delectable closeups.

Continue Reading " LEGO Sushi, It's What's (Not) For Dinner "

Jul 24 2008 Stay Calm: How to Survive A Car Crashing Through A Diner And Into Your Table

Kenneth Anderson was enjoying a cup of coffee in a window seat at his favorite diner in North Carolina when some car came flying through the window and mashed him and his table into the bar. He walked away with minor scrapes. I love how afterwards he puts his hat on nonchalantly like nothing happened. Congratulations Kenneth, you win the Balls of Black Holes Award for the day. If they were any denser, your crotch would swallow the planet. Bravo.

CCTV Awesomeness: How To React When a Car Crashes Into You During Lunch [gizmodo]

Thanks to Ross, who once stopped a cement truck with his sultry gaze, for the tip.

Jul 24 2008 OMG: Marty McFly's Hoverboard On eBay

After spotting the post about Marty McFly's Nike's on eBay last week, loyal Geekologie reader (and all around handsome devil) Dave was kind enough to inform me that THE FREAKING HOVERBOARD IS UP FOR SALE TOO!

This is one of the hero Mattel Hoverboards used by Michael J. Fox in his most famous role as "Marty McFly" in the Robert Zemeckis classic 80s trilogy, Back to the Future. Two styles of Hoverboard were made for and employed in the film - lightweight boards of styrofoam construction and thick and durable wood-based props - this example is the latter, and is recognized as the best example of all wood Hoverboards to have survived the rigors of filming.

It is in used but outstanding condition, and is very rare in that it is entirely complete and intact. Given the wood build and use of metal components, it looks and feels like a "real" prop. This piece has the complete fully functional and rear ballbearing-mounted footpad that rotates 360 degrees, as well as the bottom "magnet plates". Of the two styles of stickers used for the effects, this prop has the "photoboard"-style sticker affixed. In addition, there is other textured styling and hand painting. This Hoverboard also features the hole in the top, representing where the handlebars were that "Marty" pulled off after borrowing the "toy" from the little girl in the film.

Oh man, I need it. You think it still works? Unfortunately the bidding starts at, are you sitting down -- $30,000. So yeah, what I'm gonna do is this: Build a time machine, travel to the future, pick up a sports score book, travel back to now, place some huge bets, and then buy that mother. I'm original!

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures of the board in the movie, ALONG WITH A VIDEO OF THE WHOLE CHASE SCENE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. KISSES!

Continue Reading " OMG: Marty McFly's Hoverboard On eBay "

Jul 24 2008 Moderately Satisfying: Jar Jar In Carbonite

Nice, but I'd still like to see more axes in his face.

Picture [pixdaus]

Thanks to MW, who noted that this is actually on display at Industrial Light & Magic near Lucas's office and may be an indication that George regrets his decision to introduce Jar Jar. Now listen George, hindsight's 20/20, but my foot's an 11½ and your a-hole is probably in the 4-6 range. Just saying, you're being watched.

Jul 24 2008 Cassette Skeleton Won't Fit In A Tape Deck

Brian Dettmer is a man. With a vision. A vision, possibly blurry, of a melted cassette tape skeleton. Brian reached for the stars, and while he didn't make it past tall buildings, he did manage to melt a bunch of cassettes into a skeleton. Congratulations Brian, it looks good. I'd love to have one of those propped up in the corner of my rumpus room. But I'd need for it to be animated. You know: wave his arms around, talk a little, that sort of thing. Oh, oh oh -- and have an 8-track brain and Walkman heart! Wow, how do I come up with this stuff? Haha, I don't -- it's all stolen.*

*From your mom's blog. OH SNAP!

Hit the jump for just a skull.

Continue Reading " Cassette Skeleton Won't Fit In A Tape Deck "

Jul 24 2008 New Zealand Has 'Odd' Name Trouble

New Zealand, a country best known for setting off a massive string of explosives that separated the land mass from Australia and floated out to sea, is having 'odd' name troubles. You probably remember the kiwi couple that was in the news awhile back when it was decided they couldn't name their son 4Real or OMGWTFBBQ. Well now more New Zealand couples are having trouble, mostly because they keep trying to name their children stupid shit.

A judge in New Zealand made a young girl a ward of court so that she could change the name she hated - Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. Judge Rob Murfitt said that the name embarrassed the nine-year-old and could expose her to teasing.

You think? Not to mention it would take six years to write your name on the top of every homework assignment. Officials have blocked Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy, Sex Fruit, Fat Boy, Cinderella Beauty Blossom, and Fish and Chips (twins), but allowed Violence, Number 16 Bus Shelter, Midnight Chardonnay, and Benson and Hedges (twins).

What the hell are they putting in the water supply in New Zealand? This is ridiculous. Number 16 Bus Shelter? You can imagine where that poor bastard was conceived. Violence? Sex Fruit? Listen, I've got two kids, and it wasn't hard giving them normal freaking names: BOOM! and 1.21 Jigowatts. BOOM!'s the boy, and that's what I call him unless I'm talking about him to someone else. In that case he's The UPS Man's.

Read the full story if you want.

NZ judge orders 'odd' name change [bbcnews]

Thanks Isabel and Jonathan, be thankful your parents weren't nuts.

Jul 23 2008 George Lucas Pulls A Han Solo In Carbonite

First we saw Han Solo in chocolate, then some jackass in carbonite, then a Han Solo in carbonite fridge and desk, and now, a George Lucas in carbonite display. It was made for some Star Wars convention in Japan and looks pretty accurate. I got to see it in person, and I've got to say, I had a thing or two to say to frozen George.

Me: Hey George, mind if I call you Lucas?
George:
Me: Good, Lucas it is.
Lucas:
Me: Listen, I have a bone to pick about the prequels you made to Star Wars.
Lucas:
Me: I didn't like them.
Lucas:
Me: I don't care how much money you made, you gotta admit you f***ed up with that whole Jar Jar thing.
Lucas:
Me: I'm here to teach you a lesson. *slips member in George's frozen hand* Quick, someone take a picture!
Lucas:
Me: *zipping up* You've been learned, now don't let it happen again.

Hit the jump for several more. Unfortunately the one with my junk got deleted off the camera.

Continue Reading " George Lucas Pulls A Han Solo In Carbonite "

Jul 23 2008 Wicked Stop-Motion Video From PES

We've seen some pretty wicked stop-motion videos in the past, and even some by the same director as this one. And, well, this is his latest, entitled Western Spaghetti. It's about cooking spaghetti and is amazingly well done. I'd totally eat that. Mmm, rubber bands and yarn, now that's eating like a king.

Seriously, watch the video -- you'll be amazed, and, if you're anything like me, depressed at your own level of creativity.

PES's official website (with a ton of other videos if you liked this one)

Jul 23 2008 All Money And No Class: Burberry Maserati, Plus SPECIAL BONUS Chrome Ferrari

Not that we really needed any more proof that money doesn't buy class or my affection, I thought I'd post this so everyone can blow off some steam by ranting in the comments section about what possessed some nutass to Burberry his Maserati Quattroporte. It's fugly and they didn't even do a good job. I mean the lines don't even match up. I'm driving down to the Maserati dealership and I'm gonna punch the first rich person I see milling around the lot.

UPDATE: Haha, I KO'd a salesman. F*** them too.

Hit the jump for a couple closeups and a few of a chrome Ferrari 599, which would be blinding to drive or be behind, but I am embarrassingly kind of liking.

Continue Reading " All Money And No Class: Burberry Maserati, Plus SPECIAL BONUS Chrome Ferrari "

Jul 23 2008 Fingernail Watch Doesn't Prevent Hangnails

The Timex2154 is a conceptual watch design that took runner-up in the global watch design competition sponsored by Timex and Core77. First place was a sundial. This particular concept was designed by a stoner (hence the 4:20) and fastens to your nail. You push the end to scroll through the different modes and change your color options. My girlfriend is so stupid she would probably nail polish right over it. Hey Timex, if you decide to manufacture this thing can you do me a favor and make a fingernail calculator too? I'm failing algebra because the teacher doesn't let us use calculators. Well, that, and the guy I chose cheat off of is apparently an idiot.

That's time at your fingertips [popgadget]

Thanks Mike, can I copy off you?

Jul 23 2008 RC Fishing Boat Does The Work For You

Ha, did my boss just catch me playing Solomon's Key on FireNes (note: version 1.1 is out so it may work now for those of you that were having problems) when I was supposed to be making a spreadsheet? Yes, yes he did. Anyway, some Japanese company is selling an RC fishing boat called KAMOME. It does all the work for you, so it's not even like you're fishing anymore, it's like you're driving an RC fishing boat. The 24 pound boat comes with a sonar system for spotting fish, GPS capabilities, and can catch fish up to about 4.5 pounds. The radio controller has a 5" LCD that displays the sonar and other ship data and has a range of about 1/3 of a mile. Unfortunately the damn thing costs over $5,000. So now instead of boring your friends with the story about "the one that got away", you can tell them the one about the Geekologie Writer sinking your $5,000 RC fishing boat.

JAPAN: Radio Controlled Fishing Boat [hobbymedia]

Thanks Francesco, now lets torpedo that sucker, just for the halibut.

Jul 23 2008 Hitachi Releases Cartoon To Explain What A Terabyte Is To Stoners, Possibly Children

Hitachi just made a 3:00 cartoon to explain how large a terabyte is to, I guess, stoners.

As Hitachi GST embarks upon its latest educational campaign and debuts a new market vision which it encapsulates as "The Dawn of the Tera Era," the company knew the time was once again right to produce a new video animation, given how successful these have always been in the past. This amazing collision of Capacity, Content and Culture has resulted in explosive growth of the amounts and types of information people are now storing. Megabytes are long forgotten. Today, gigabytes are being replaced by terabytes, hence the Tera Era. It's happening now. This is the Tera Era.

Geez, I had no idea. It's the Tera Era already? And all along I thought it was still the Porno Period. Boy am I rosy in the cheeks. And, okay, palm.

WARNING: The song in this video can and will get stuck in your head.

Hitachi makes a cartoon to explain what a terabyte is. If you are high...now is the time to watch it. [icantseeyou]

Thanks George Clooney, and I don't care why my girlfriend says, I think you're hot.

Jul 23 2008 Meat Gristle Spells "Allah" In Arabic, Is A Sign

This is a picture of a piece of meat gristle from a diner in Birnin Kebbi, Nigeria. A patron was about to eat said meat puck when he noticed it read "Allah". After ransacking the kitchen, an additional three Allah steaks were found.

The meat was boiled and then fried before being served, owner Kabiru Haliru told newspaper Weekly Trust.

"When the writings were discovered there were some Islamic scholars who come and eat here and they all commented that it was a sign to show that Islam is the only true religion for mankind," he said.

Okay, I think you may have gone off the deep end there. I fail to see how Allah gristle indicates Islam is the only religion for mankind. An Allah cheesesteak sure, but gristle?

Hit the link for the BBC article, which also links to two related stories, one of a fish with Allah on it's side, and one of a tomato. And I thought Christians were the only ones that went bonkers over toast and potato chip omens.

'Allah meat' astounds Nigerians [bbcnews]

Thanks to Julian, who once found is own name in the sprinkles of a Pop-Tart.

Jul 23 2008 'Spam King' Sentenced To Four Years In Prison, Hopefully A Really Rough One

'Spam King' Robert Soloway is headed to a federal pound you in the ass (I hope) prison for 47 months. He recently pleaded guilty to fraud, spamming, tax evasion, general douchery, asshatness, and sucking at life. We should probably just give him the chair. I really hope a fellow inmate down a handful of those penis pills he was always emailing me about and spams his ass.

Hit the link for the full story.

Top Spammer Sentenced To Nearly Four Years [yahoonews]

Thanks Julian, now let's stone him.

Jul 22 2008 MacBook Touch Hitting Streets In October?

There have been rumors flying that a MacBook touch could be hitting the market as early as October. Allegedly these rumors are substantiated too, as they came from a MacDailyNews source that broke the wireless iTunes story early as well.

Think MacBook screen, possibly a bit smaller, in glass with iPhone-like, but fuller-featured Multi-Touch. Gesture library. Full Mac OS X. This is why they bought P.A. Semi. Possibly with Immersion's haptic tech. Slot-loading SuperDrive. Accelerometer. GPS. Pretty expensive to produce initially, but sold at "low" price that will reduce margins. Apple wants to move these babies. And move they will. This is some sick shit. App Store-compatible, able to run Mac apps, too. By October at the latest.

Okay, I've heard enough. Admittedly, I was believing it at first, but now I can tell it's is a lie. How? Trusted sources don't say "This is some sick shit." That's like a back alley plastic surgeon promising you "the sweetest f***in' knockers this eye ever saw" while tapping his eyepatch and waving a machete. Sure you want to believe it, but you also want to know why the guy is working out the back of an Italian restaurant.

That said, I'm sure it's true.

Rumor: MacBook touch Coming in October [gizmodo]

Thanks Dan, now the girlfriend is gonna hound me for one.

Jul 22 2008 Drunk Driver Blows 0.491, Is Still Alive

No, it wasn't me. I don't drink and drive. I drink and walk. And already have enough trouble with that. Stanley Kobierowski though, he's another story.

Stanley Kobierowski, 34, of North Providence, was arrested after he drove into a highway message board on Interstate 95 in Providence, Maj. Steven O'Donnell said.

Smooth move, dipshit.

The legal limit in Rhode Island is .08. A blood alcohol of .3 is classified as "stupor," .4 is "comatose" and .5 is considered fatal, according to the health department. "Our only assumption could be that the person has a serious alcohol problem," O'Donnell said.

Uh, yeah, amazing assumption there, Major O'Donnell. Really, you sure he's an alcoholic and not just a robot that runs on gin?

Seriously though folks, no drinking and driving. I'll call you a taxi or come and pick you up myself if I have to. Because if I catch another one of you floundering around in my pool after you've driven through the fence and off the diving board, I'll kill you myself.

UPDATE: That's not a picture of his accident. That's just something I found on the interwebs to use as the picture.

Driver Charged With .491 Blood Alcohol Level [wbztv]

Thanks Mark, and like I said before, I wasn't in Rhode Island this morning, I swear.

Jul 22 2008 Gun + Knife = Gnife Knun Knife-Gun

The Knife-Gun is the lovechild of a small caliber handgun that humped a switchblade at the monthly gun & knife show they hold at the civic center. I couldn't find much more information on it, except that they're allegedly for sale and it looks like it shoots a pretty small caliber round. Probably more effective than the WASP Knife at a distance though. But it probably sucks underwater. Still, I love hybrid weapons, and this little puppy inspired me to invent the boomerang grenade. See, you pull and pin and throw it, and then it flies around and comes ba....okay, so it needs some work.

Youtube

Thanks Lee, I owe you a beer. Haha, just kidding.

Jul 22 2008 For The Geekologie Ladies: Fishy Pedicures

First, there was the 24K gold facial, and now, fish pedicures. Apparently they're really taking off in the Washington D.C. area and women are flocking to the Yvonne Hair and Nails Salon to let Garra rufa "doctor fish" carp eat the dead skin and calluses from their feet. I can almost guarantee those little guys would go belly up if I stuck my boats in the tank, but maybe these women take better care of their feet than I do.

Ho (the salon owner) said the hot water in which the fish thrive doesn't support much plant or aquatic life, so they learned to feed on whatever food sources were available _ including dead, flaking skin. They leave live skin alone because, without teeth, they can't bite it off.

Ho believes his is the only salon in the country to offer the treatment, which costs $35 for 15 minutes and $50 for 30 minutes. The spa has more than 1,000 fish, with about 100 in each individual pedicure tank at any given time.

Wow, $50 to set your feet in a fishtank for 30 minutes? What's the world coming to? I mean, besides a robot apocalypse? I'll tell you what, you come over to my place and I'll let you set your feet in my fishtank for $25. Of course, you only get 10 minutes. But trust me -- the piranhas are far more efficient than a bunch of crappy carp. Seriously, 30 minutes and they'd be down to the bone. I've also got a snapping turtle if you want your nails done.

UPDATE: The grizzly should be ready to cut hair by August, call for an appointment.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, including a really worthwhile one of three MILFs with their feet in the tank.

Continue Reading " For The Geekologie Ladies: Fishy Pedicures "

Jul 22 2008 IT Everywhere: An Art Project

In a similar vein as this and this, Paulthewineguy, a man who may or may not be Paul Giamatti from Sideways, has an ongoing art project entitled IT Everywhere. It's basically a bunch of video game/computer related art in the real world. Most of it is Photoshopped, but some are decals that he's stuck around town. As you can see unless you've lost your sight or are too young to remember, that's the opening scene from Ghosts 'n Goblins there. You know, the one where Arthur is lounging around in his drawls after banging the princess when that cockblocking jerk Satan shows up and steals the man's strange. Damn, should I design video games or what?

Hit the jump for several more worthwhile pics and a link to the huge gallery. Oh crap -- there's a Ghost Pirate LeChuck in there too. For those of you in the know, meet me at my tree fort at 6:00 PM, you're in the club.

Continue Reading " IT Everywhere: An Art Project "

Jul 22 2008 I Must Have It!: Little Knitted Link Doll

As many of you may know, I love everything Zelda. I even threatened my wife with divorce if she didn't legally change her name to Princess Zelda. That's how serious I am. Did I mention I have the triforce branded on the back of my hand? Because I'm totally going to do that now that I thought of it. Sa-weet! Anyway, this is a Link doll in knitted amigurumi form. I want him. Unfortunately, he doesn't appear to be for sale, but there are some other figures available at the creator's Etsy shop and a TON more pictures of Link and others on Flickr (check it out for LOTR and Star Wars figures). I pretty much want them all. Now I know what you're thinking, "Aren't you a little old to be playing with dolls?" And the answer to that, my friends, is Geekologie is written by a six-year old.

Hit the jump for a few more worthwhile pictures, including Link's awesome accessories, an Indiana Jones, Captain Jack Sparrow, Superman, and Cobra Commander.

Continue Reading " I Must Have It!: Little Knitted Link Doll "

Jul 22 2008 Wait, What?: SAS Dogs Trained To Parachute

Allegedly, German Shepherds are being trained to jump from planes at 25,000 feet strapped to SAS soldiers. The dogs will soon be deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, where they will serve as reconnaissance shepherds.

With tiny cameras fixed to their heads, the animals will be sent in before their human partners to hunt for Taliban or insurgent hideouts. The cameras will beam live images back to the troops as the dogs penetrate behind enemy lines and warn of ambushes.

According to The Sun, the dogs will be trained to accompany soldiers on what are called 'High Altitude High Opening' parachute jumps, after which they may have to travel 20 miles to their targets.

Apparently dogs have been trained to jump out of airplanes since World War II, when German Shepherds were used to infiltrate the German ranks and poison high ranking officials. Okay, I made that up (minus the parachuting). Still, somebody should make a movie about it. But I have a question. Why does that dog in the picture have a bionic mouth? And why is that guy pointing his gun at its head? Calm down bro, so it ate your boot -- that's what dogs do. And also, hump the cat and shit on the sofa. Right?
German Shepherds trained to parachute with SAS troops [telegraph]

Thanks Pat, now imagine if they did the same thing with mice. Stuart Little parachuting in behind enemy lines and then sneaking around and shit and talking in that little cute voice of his. That'd be great. Oh, another blockbuster movie idea.

Jul 22 2008 Kid Makes Cardboard Halo Weapons

What good is cardboard Halo armor if you don't have matching cardboard weapons to wave around? Exactly, no good. That's why Youtube user fartbuttface (who looks and sounds suspiciously like my little brother) made them all in his parent's garage. On the pool table. Next to his Litttle Tikes play car. I love how you can hear the crinkle of packing tape whenever he moves around, that's a sign of quality. The video is kind of long, so feel free to skip around. But make sure to hit 0:35 for some teabagging/Halo humping action, 2:20 for how to reload the rocket launcher with wrapping paper tubes, and 3:15 when he totally should have mounted his machine gun on the Little Tikes car and pretended it was a Warthog. Good job, little guy. You keep this up this level of dedication and you've got a bright future in virginity ahead of you. Kidding, I'm just jealous my mommy doesn't let me make cardboard guns. She's teaching me to cross-stitch.

Hit the jump for a couple more of his videos, including one of him running around in the woods behind his parent's house in full Halo regalia and another of him pointing his sniper rifle at his neighbor's house. If you're really bored at work today you can read some of the comments on his videos at Youtube. There's some funny stuff in there.

Continue Reading " Kid Makes Cardboard Halo Weapons "

Jul 21 2008 Your Own Tyrannosaurs Rex Fossil Replica

STAN was a Tyrannosaurus Rex that lived over 65 million years ago. In his heyday he probably banged tons of other dinosaurs, and, quite possibly, a woolly mammoth or two. But now he ain't banging shit but the wall at the Black Hills Museum of Natural History in South Dakota. That poor bastard, no cavemen to eat or nothing. Anyway, you can get a life-sized replica of his skeleton for $100,000. Now I know what you're thinking, "For 100K I better get to choose his damn pose." Well you do. They can make him standing, walking, running, jumping rope, driving a car, or humping your entertainment stand. I want mine chewing the head of my ex-wife. And also, shooting pool. Seriously though, $100,000 is way too much freaking money (this guy is only $56,000) for a damn skeleton replica. For that kind of dough I want the real bones. And there better be some good marrow left so I can clone that mother. Then I'll open the world's first 2-star, sex with dinosaurs resort, Jurupinthatassic Park.

Today must be your lucky day, I posted the 'Getting High With Dinosaurs' music video from The Whitest Kids U'Know because it's stupid as hell and I've always wanted to smoke with a pterodactyl.

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Jul 21 2008 B21 Kitchen Robot (AKA: The Kitchen Killer)

The B21 Kitchen Robot was designed to know where everything in your kitchen is via RFID tagging and help you prepare meals. In reality, the robot will probably just stab you. The blue barrel bastard was created by the Technical University of Munich and even has the capability to learn how to use new tools (read: knives, read: oh freaking great).

(By using RFID tags) the robot knows where everything is, and it can learn simple tasks simply by observing the movements of the objects.

"Setting the table is very easily recognized from cups and plates disappearing from the cupboard and appearing on the table, and cleaning up later is characterized by the same objects disappearing from the table and appearing in the dishwasher."

The team is also working to integrate a number of open-source software packages to enable the robots to get instructions from the internet, in the same way that some search for images.

Oh yeah, that's just what I need -- a robot that's getting instructions from the interwebs. So let me get this straight: There's a robot in my kitchen. It knows where the knives are, and it's being controlled by someone whose goal is to type F1RST! in the comments? Thanks, but I'll just keep my wife chained to the stove. Damnit, hold on.

I SAID OVER EASY!

Robot chef gets a boost from wireless kitchen [newscientist]

Thanks Bo, now I have to destroy my kitchen so there's nowhere for this evil bastard to live.

Jul 21 2008 UPDATE: Star Wars Gets Fine Art Treatment

Well, we've already seen some Star Wars fine art in the past, but now Worth1000 just ran a 2-day contest to see who could make the coolest Photoshopping using Star Wars characters and classic art pieces. The one there is a take on Napoleon Crossing The Alps. But instead of Napoleon, it's Darth Vader. Darth Vader riding a horse -- like he would ever do that! So ridiculous. Hit the jump for a few more of my favorites, and make sure to hit the link for a bunch more. A lot of them are really freaking good, especially considering the artists only had two days to complete their work. Of course, if I had entered I would have totally won. I'd have used Jacques-Louis David's Death of Marat, but instead of Marat in the tub, it would be Jar Jar! With more blood. Lots more blood. Somebody send me a ribbon.

Note: Anybody that wants to actually make that, please do and send me a link so I can throw it up and give you a shoutout for your l33t photohaxoring.

UPDATE: Readers MadMonkey and Bryan were kind enough to make some. Hit the jump to see them.

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Jul 21 2008 Wasp Knife In Action: Goodbye Watermelon

Remember the WASP Knife we posted last month that injects a ball of compressed gas into the stabee and explodes their organs? Well now the company has released a video of the knife versus a watermelon. After all, nobody can sell deadly knives like a jackass in a wetsuit and safety goggles stabbing a watermelon in his backyard. If this was an infomercial I'd have called immediately and gotten two and a free LED keychain bonus gift. Just imagine all the time you could save carving the Thanksgiving turkey. Minutes.

Hit the jump for disturbing watermelon carnage. Seriously, If you can blow up a watermelon with this thing, I don't even wanna know what you can do to a cantaloupe.

Continue Reading " Wasp Knife In Action: Goodbye Watermelon "

Jul 21 2008 Run By Monkeys?: HP's Shipping Department

HP just flipped Mother Nature the bird and shipped sixteen 2-page software licenses inside a huge freaking box. Inside the box were another 16 smaller boxes, each containing a single two-page license (picture of the big box after the jump). Now I'm not saying this infraction warrants a bag of packing peanuts be crammed up the shipping department's collective ass, but I am strongly hinting at it. And, I dunno, maybe sealing the hole with some packing tape. Can't have those peanuts getting loose, bad for the environment.

Hit the jump for the big box.

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Jul 21 2008 World's Longest Homemade Waterslide?

Cutting the grass, drinking beer, and watching chicks run by the house in short shorts while I yell "PEW PEW PEW!" from my bedroom window -- it's what summertime is all about. Oh, and waterslides! This is a 100-yard waterslide (allegedly the world's largest homemade slide but I feel like I've seen another video somewhere of a super-duper slide that was even longer and had banked turns and stuff) that ends in a lake. Ah, summer watersports, gotta love 'em. But not the kind you perform in the shower and then have to break up with your girlfriend because you can't look at her in the same way again. Not that kind.

World's Largest Homemade Waterslide [break]

Thanks Julian, now let's build one twice as long and invite twice as many chicks than the guys in this video did.

Jul 21 2008 Papercraft Fun Frustration: Batman's Tumbler

Ah, Papercraft. A hobby that involves two of my favorite pastimes: cutting things, and glue. Did I mention I huff glue? I huff glue. Did I mention I huff glue? Freaking love that stuff. Anyway, this is a Papercraft Tumbler. It looks complicated and I could never make it. Not in a hundred years. I could cut the tip of a finger off though. Or, if the price is right, a toe. "You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon...with nail polish." While I have no Papercraft skills, my roommate has been up for two days straight working on this thing. I just peeked in his room and he's passed out on a pile of dirty clothes with one ball hanging out the fly of his boxers. But the car looks finished. So while he's sleeping I'm gonna tape a couple fireworks to the back and shoot it down the street.

UPDATE: So it, uh, burnt up pretty quick.

Hit the jump for several more shots and a link to the PDF's if you want to make your own.

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Jul 21 2008 iBeer For iPhone Is Ridiculous, Three Dollars

iBeer is an iPhone application that can be downloaded from iTunes for $3. It's every bit as ridiculous as Captain Kissyface in the picture looks. Because there is nothing sadder than pretend drinking beer. It makes me want to kill myself. If you really want it though and beer's not your scene we can't be friends but they're selling iMilk and iCantbelieveIjustpaid$3forthis as well.

Hit the jump to watch a video of the application in action. Spoiler: It looks like a taint with eyebrow spasms drinking an iPhone.

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