Jul 11 2008 OMG, OMG, WATCH THIS RIGHT NOW!!!
This is a video of a guy lying down on a motorcycle and text messaging, all while cruising down the highway in New Delhi, India. No way? Yes way! And also, holy shit!
Have a great weekend everybody.
Thanks to Lockjaw and Julian for showing me the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Jul 11 2008 UPDATE: Radiohead's New "Video" Shot With Lasers Or Something, I Don't Understand, Am Stupid
So instead of using a camera like a normal band, Radiohead, in all their progression, shot their most recent video for "House of Cards" with lasers or something. I don't freaking know, people, does it look like I understand technology?
The Geometric Informatics scanning system employs structured light to capture detailed 3D images at close proximity, and was used to render the performances of Radiohead's Thom Yorke, the female lead, and several partygoers. The Velodyne Lidar system uses multiple lasers to capture large environments in 3D, in this case 64 lasers rotating and shooting in a 360 degree radius 900 times per minute, capturing all of the exterior scenes and wide party shots.
Uh-huh. Thom York had this to say about the video:
I always like the idea of using technology in a way that it wasn't meant to be used, the struggle to get your head round what you can do with it. I liked the idea of making a video of human beings and real life and time without using any cameras, just lasers, so there are just mathematical points-- and how strangely emotional it ended up being.
Uh-huh. You know, I've been emotionally attached to a laser before, and let me tell you what -- incredible lover. I'm talking burning passion. And, okay, pubes.
That's a screenshot there, and there are several more after the jump.
UPDATE: Two videos added after the jump. One is the music video, the other a "making of" video. Go here to play the video and manipulate it in real time using a visualization program.
Jul 11 2008 Redneck Mansion: Too Good To Be True
I knew when I saw these pictures they were too good to be true. And sadly, they are. I had to do some interweb spelunking but, finally, got to the bottom of their origin. Touted around the net as a "redneck mansion", the structure was actually the set for a performance of Anton Chekhov's play Ivanov at an outdoor theater in Amsterdam. So yeah, shit. Still an awesome setup though, I'd totally live there. Anybody want to get together and build something similar? I'm thinking something like an Ewok village in the trees, but with double-wides. Who's with me? Also, I apologize to all of those who had their hopes up for this being a real redneck mansion. Believe me, I was right there with you. This is the second time in 24 hours I've been tricked into thinking something was something that it's not. The first being the dude still asleep in my bed.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures of the thing.
Jul 11 2008 'Fanboy' Makes Merriam-Webster Dictionary
In word news, 'fanboy' has officially been added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. That's the entry there in the picture. Weird they didn't mention anything about Apple or video games. Oh, and as you can see they claim the word dates back to 1919. Which I find a little hard to believe. In 1919 a fanboy was a kid you paid to wave a palm frond in your direction to stay cool, not somebody sitting outside an Apple store right now waiting for an iPhone. Oh well. In other word news, 'Geekologie' should be added to the dictionary. And no, not as the study of all things geek. Well, fine, that too -- but I was thinking something a little tougher.
Geekologie n, v (2008)
1. the study of all things geek
Dude, this college sucks, you can't even get a Geekologie degree.
2. to utterly destroy someone else and prove your dominance, similar to pwn
Suck it, sucker, I just beat your Bomberman high score. You got Geekologied!
3. to teabag a passed out roommate who forgot to take his shoes off
Quick, grab the video camera -- I'm gonna Geekologie Davey!
'Fanboy' makes Merriam-Webster's list of new English words [gamepro]
Thanks Julian, I'm putting you in charge of spearheading the petition.
Jul 11 2008 Dummy On Segway Kisses Another Dummy
This is allegedly a Segway crash-test video used to determine the effects (including potential eroticism) that can occur when someone plows their Segway into a stationary person. If you can't watch it, it basically looks like two dummies kissing. Honestly, I don't even know why they performed this test in the first place. I can tell you what happens when you crash your Segway into something: you look even stupider.
Segway Crash Test is Awkward For All Parties Involved [gizmodo]
Jul 11 2008 Well, At Least He Drives A Prius Ad Campaign
This is a ad from a campaign designed by the Bed & Breakfast Advertising Agency for Toyota's Prius. It uses the tagline "Well, at least he drives a Prius" as if driving a Prius makes up for tossing a body in the river (which it totally does). There are two more after the jump, including a guy chatting it up with a hooker, and some dude's wife making out with the gardener. Man, I freaking love good advertising. Seriously, this is how you sell products, folks. Sometimes I wish I had gone into advertising, I'm always coming up with stuff like this. Like, oh oh -- I've got one. Okay: it's a picture of a pasty, overweight guy lying on a sofa. He's got a laptop resting on his chest. The keyboard is Cheeto stained and the desktop background is some chick with monster gazongas. His two-inch member is hanging out the fly of his boxers and the caption at the bottom reads, "Well, at least he writes Geekologie."
Hit the jump for the other two ads.
Continue Reading " Well, At Least He Drives A Prius Ad Campaign "
Jul 11 2008 Cardboard Toilet Is Obviously Questionable
The Shit Box is a cardboard toilet made specifically for outdoor use. But, if your water gets cut off because you didn't pay the bill, I can vouch it works inside as well. It costs about $31, which the company claims is "an honest price", and is obviously a bold-faced lie. I mean, it's a cardboard box that comes with "10 degradable poo bags (you worthless damn poo bags you, you'll never amount to anything!)". To its credit though, the unit doubles as a stool if you're comfortable hovering over a bag of shit with nothing between you and it but a cardboard lid. Oh, and the name has got to go. Shit box is already what you call an old, crappy car or some idiot's pie-hole. Which, in my girlfriend's case, is not just because she's always blathering some nonsense (although she is). You see, she was in this really twisted viral video...
Hit the jump for a couple more graphics explaining how the unit works in case shitting in a cardboard box is beyond you.
Continue Reading " Cardboard Toilet Is Obviously Questionable "
Jul 11 2008 Gumball Machine Dispenses Ideas, Bad Ones
This is a picture of a gumball machine Sarah Lustberg spotted in the East Village, NYC. It dispenses ideas for 50¢ a pop. Of course, they're probably bad ideas. Stuff like, "Tag the door to the right" and, "Shop in the store to the left". Still, a clever concept. Add a webcam, throw in some ideas like, "You have superhuman strength, try to stop a car", and presto: you've got your own Youtube channel.*
*That'll be 50¢. I accept Paypal.
Best Idea Ever: Gumball Machine Sells ... Ideas! [neatorama]
Thanks to Romeo, who sells ideas via 1-800-BAD-IDEA for the low, low introductory rate of $3.99 for the first idea, $2.99 each additional idea. He also does horoscopes and recipes.
Jul 10 2008 Gerbil's Personal LEGO Elevator, Penthouse
This is a video of Dopey the hamster playing with his own personal LEGO elevator. He uses it to reach his penthouse suite at the top of the cage. Of course, it takes Dopey (being as high as he is and all) several attempts to make the stretch from elevator to penthouse door. But he does make it eventually. However, throughout the video I happened to notice there was no elevator operator on duty. Are you telling me Dopey has to push the little buttons himself? That's freaking cruel -- somebody call PETA.
Dopey the hamster, adn his private LEGO elevator. [bbgadgets]
Thanks Shawn and Ray, now when are you two gonna getting started on my LEGO elevator. I need one to get out of the bathtub.
Jul 10 2008 Iran Photoshops Pictures To Hide Failure
So apparently Iran Photoshopped a picture of some missiles to make it appear as if they have the capability to launch four missiles instead of three and a dud (unphotoshopped pictures after the jump). A bunch of newspapers printed the photo before new things came to light and revealed it had been shopped. Uhhh...doctoring a picture to have four missiles instead of three? What the hell's the purpose? Why not go for the gusto and have 9 missiles shooting all over the place. That's what I did (picture after the jump). See how much more intimidating that looks? BOOM -- missiles going everywhere. You could learn a thing or two from The Geekologie Writer, Iran. I have a Photoshop portfolio, you know. Including, and pretty much limited to: the missile picture I just did, and my penis with a few inches added that I use for internet personals.
Hit the jump for the original picture, the doctored one, and my own version.
Continue Reading " Iran Photoshops Pictures To Hide Failure "
Jul 10 2008 Tie Napkins: Who Wears A Shirt To Dinner?
I typically eat alfresco, which for some might mean outdoors, but for me means butt-ass naked. I don't care if it's a 7-course dinner or a box of Oreos, I need to be comfortable. Well, for those formal tie-only affairs come these Dress For Dinner Napkins. As you can see, they're napkins with ties printed on them. They come in four tie patterns and a box of twenty will set you back $5.95. Not bad considering the money you'll save on dry cleaning bills. The only problem is, I'm having trouble finding a place to tuck them in. Hold on, I've got it. I'll just make a little incision here below the Adam's apple and...I'm bleeding. Wow, a lot. Like a lot a lot. Great, now my napkin tie is rui....
Dress For Dinner Napkins [ohgizmo]
Jul 10 2008 Rock-afire Explosion Band For Sale On eBay!
Well after yesterday's exciting Rock-afire Explosion post, a loyal tipster has notified me there's a set for sale on eBay. And it's only $14,000!
Showbiz Pizza Rock-afire Explosion Complete Show for Sale!Complete 3 stage show with curtains and curtain rods. Show is mostly restored and ready to install at your location.
Of course, there are a few things about the auction that concern me. For starters, the seller only has 50% positive feedback for the past year. In one instance it was claimed they never sent an item that was paid for.
I Never Received Merchandise- Refund bounced. No Response from Seller
In another, they backed out of purchasing a car.
Car was misrepresented in ad; had to turn off with a screwdriver & more problems
Ha, the old bait and screwdriver ignition switch, freaking classic. No, but what really worries me is this: I've got the distinct feeling this particular band was used to lure kids into some guy's basement (more pics after the jump). After all, no child can resist free pizza and a couple songs played by the Rock-afire Explosion. And, as I learned years ago, some creepy dude trying to touch your butt doesn't seem all that awkward after watching their performance.
Hit the jump for the rest of the pictures and a link to the auction.
Continue Reading " Rock-afire Explosion Band For Sale On eBay! "
Jul 10 2008 iPhone On Sale Tomorrow, This Kiwi Got One
Well folks, in case you had forgotten, the 3G iPhone goes on sale tomorrow. And, apparently, this assblastingcap in the photo was the first to procure said device because he lives in New Zealand, and somehow it's already Friday over there. Anybody understand how that works? I don't. Is the world spinning faster over there or something? Does it have to do with magnets? Is it ever like a full week ahead? Because if so I want to go over there, watch the news from over here, and then fly back and play the lottery real quick once I know the winning numbers. Does anybody do that? Is it illegal?
3G iPhone tomorrow, who's getting one? Who doesn't care? Who thought I was being serious about the whole time travel thing? I'm not stupid, I know it doesn't have anything to do with magnets. It's something about Australia's gravitational influence.
That Guy Got His Stupid iPhone 3G, First [gizmodo]
Jul 10 2008 Super Chuck Norris Bros. Is Action Packed
This is a video of Super Chuck Norris Bros. Allegedly it's a real game somebody has been working on. Basically you roundhouse kick the shit out of a bunch of goombas, grab a chainsaw or shotgun, destroy the tree and hills in the background, and all around kick ass. What surprised me was that Chuck Norris was caught playing in a video game. Chuck Norris doesn't play video games, he bangs my girlfriend while I do. Then he beats my high score while she's making him a sandwich.
Hit the jump for another video of the game with some kid talking over it complaining about how it's stupid Chuck can't die or lose in the game. Ha, like Chuck Norris could ever die. You moron.
Continue Reading " Super Chuck Norris Bros. Is Action Packed "
Jul 10 2008 Limited Edition Star Wars Adidas Shoes
This is the first I'd heard about the limited edition Star Wars x Adidas Super Stars sneakers (do people still say sneakers? I do) but apparently they came out a couple months ago and were limited to 800 pairs per side of the force (that's 800 dark side, 800 light side). So they're probably already snatched up. I looked on eBay and nada. So, yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to write a couple threatening letters to Adidas to send me a pair.
Great attention to detail was taken by Adidas for these sneakers. The "Yoda" Super Stars feature a hemp upper much like something the Jedi Master wore on his home planet of Dagobah. In addition to the good choice of colors and materials, Adidas also covered the lace tips in the neon green color of Yoda's lightsaber. The "Darth Vader" Super Stars takes inspiration from the characters mask. The parallel lines on the side are like that covering Vader's mouth and the black patent leather to represent the glossy finish. Again Adidas finished off the kicks with red lace tips to match Vader's lightsaber.
Okay, so I just found a place that had been selling them (sold out now) for $275. Which, around here, is the same price as 11 mediocre lap dances (22 on buy one get one free night). And, honestly, which would feel better on your weary soles(!)? The prosecution rests.
Hit the jump for a ton more pictures of both the Vader and Yoda models.
Jul 10 2008 New Spider Landmine Safer Than Old Ones
Ah yes, a safer landmine. And all along I've thought landmines were supposed to be the opposite of safe. I'm about as stupid as my little sister. The Spider has six legs set at 60º intervals and drops six separate mines once in position. The mines are detonated by an operator, so you can jump on the trip-wires all you want as long as the guy at the controls likes you. But if you ate the last of his rations, look out. The unit can be packed with fragmentation charges or non-lethal gases, and I'm definitely a fan of any option that doesn't include "frag". Of course, being the nation that we are, the Spider does feature a "battle override mode" which allows the mine to detonate on its own without an operator. Which violates the Mine Ban Treaty -- but we didn't sign that shit (along with China, India and Russia)! So, yeah, we've got an asshole club thing going on. Also, apparently we still use bayonets.
Innovative Spider landmine has six deadly legs, offers non-lethal options [dvice]
Jul 9 2008 Okay: Showbiz Pizza Rock-afire Explosion Band Programmed To Play Other Songs
Remember Showbiz Pizza? It was like Chuck E. Cheese's, but with some southern flair. It was the total awesome when I was six. They had a playground with slides, a ball pit, all kinds of video games, pizza, and an animatronic band called the Rock-afire Explosion. You'd settle down to eat some greasy-ass pizza and watch the show while your dad chugged pitchers of beer and stole your game tokens. Well now two of the original programmers of the show are programming the long-defunct band to play new songs. This video is of "Love in this club" by Usher, but there are two by Madonna and Shakira after the jump. You definitely didn't see these songs performed at Showbiz as a kid! You did, however, probably see a turd in the ballpit.*
*And it was mine! That pizza always ran right through me.
Hit the jump for the others.
Continue Reading " Okay: Showbiz Pizza Rock-afire Explosion Band Programmed To Play Other Songs "
Jul 9 2008 Great, Just Great: DARPA Awards Grant To Make T-1000's, Kill Us In Our Sleep
The U.S. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) recently awarded Tufts University a $3.3 million contract to develop T-1000 shape-shifters so they can squeeze under doors and through cracks and shit to kill us all. Part of the original DARPA solicitation for proposals follows.
The ability to safely and covertly gain access to denied or hostile areas and perform useful tasks provides critical advantages to warfighters over a broad spectrum of military operations. An effective and logistically attractive means for gaining entry to denied areas is to deploy an unmanned platform, such as a robot. However, often the only available points of entry are small openings in buildings, walls, under doors, etc. In these cases, a robot must be soft enough to squeeze or traverse through small openings, yet large enough to carry an operationally meaningful payload. Current robotic platforms are constructed primarily from hard materials and, while capable of locomotion with embedded payloads, cannot change their physical dimensions to rapidly traverse arbitrary size/shape openings whose dimensions are much smaller than the robot itself and are not known a-priori.
You thought I was joking, didn't you? Well I wasn't. And I wasn't joking when I just boarded up the door and windows of my apartment either either. I'll be damned if I'm done in by some mercury-ass blob. Ha, I forgot to let the girlfriend in. I can hear her out front pounding...the UPS guy. What a freaking slut.
Hit the links for more in-depth articles that I stopped reading because they were creeping me out.
Tufts to develop morphing 'chemical robots' [physorg]
via
Shape-shifting, organ-probing chembots coming soon [engadget]
DARPA Solicitation For Proposals
Thanks Ryan and Benjamin, I hate living anyways.
Jul 9 2008 Steampunk Guitar Looks Good, Pointy
This is a steampunk guitar. It's functional. You may love it. Or you may hate it because you hate everything steampunk. Or you may hate it because your girlfriend cheated on you with a musician. Whatever the case, you either love it or hate it. Or just think it's okay. One of those three. Or, okay, maybe you're indifferent. But definitely one of four. Unless you love it sometimes, hate it others, and don't care the rest. Or if you, I dunno, wow I'm high. Cookie Crisp in chocolate milk for the win.
Hit the jump for another steampunkish guitar. And by "steampunkish" I mean it has a custom pick guard that looks like gears.
Jul 9 2008 Super Mario Bros. "Landscape" Art Installation
I don't have much information about these pictures except they're part of an art installation entitled "Landscape" and feature, well, a landscape from Super Mario Bros. The installation may or may not have been created by a woman named Antoinette J. Citizen -- which is either the coolest real name ever, or the worst porn name ever. Let's see, what else? There are some interactive question mark boxes that play Mario sound effects when you push them and I totally want my bedroom done up like this. Fine, the guest bedroom. The wife would kill me if I took down any of her Johnny Depp posters in the master. Just kidding, those are mine. But seriously, they're not coming down.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures and a link to the gallery with even more.
Continue Reading " Super Mario Bros. "Landscape" Art Installation "
Jul 9 2008 Idiot Kid Tries To Feed Cops LSD Cookies
Christian Phillips, 18, of Lake Worth, Texas, was arrested for delivering baskets of drugged cookies to police departments in the Dallas area. Christian, who we will now refer to as Dishonorable Captain Meltyface of the USS Acidprise, decided to be charitable with his stash of LSD and make some psychedelic cookies for the area police force. He was arrested after police were "tipped off that someone was falsely claiming to deliver treats on behalf of Mothers Against Drunk Driving." Wow man, that was kind of a dick move. You could have at least manned up and said you were from NORML or something.
"Our officers took a good whiff and thought they smelled like marijuana," McGuire said, adding that preliminary tests instead detected traces of LSD.The suspect denied trying to contaminate the goodies or harm anyone and said one of his friends might have been smoking pot while Phillips was baking, McGuire said. The suspect is not affiliated with MADD, the chief said.
In Fort Worth, at least three officers got sick after eating some cookies and candy from a basket delivered to that police station Monday night, authorities said.
First of all, Captain Meltyface, you should have made donuts. And secondly, police, you don't get "sick" from eating laced cookies and candy, you get "tripping". You know, like the ceiling looks really awesome and and you see faces in a brick wall. Sick is a fever and diarrhea. Tripping is light trails and crawling around on the floor because the ceiling is two feet high.
Hit the link for the full story.
Teen Accused of Giving Cops LSD Cookies [aolnews]
Thanks Pat, you wanna drop and then walk around town and comment on people's yards?
Jul 9 2008 The Jedi Gym Is Awesome, How Do I Join?
Kind of like the Jedi Academy, comes the Jedi Gym. The video is six minutes long, but actually is worth watching if/when you have the time. Mainly for the guy playing Lando Calrissian (that's him in the still) and the awesome plot twist around 4:00. Now I don't want to ruin anything, but let's just say it was pleasantly unexpected. Kind of like the time I walked in on my girlfriend with another chick. Now I know what you're wondering, and no, I was sadly not invited to participate. I was asked to leave and shut the door behind me. And that, my friends, is the story of how I was almost happy once.
Thanks Brennan, that's just what I needed after the last few traumatizing Star Wars videos
Jul 9 2008 I Want: Bubble Wrap Calendar Is Popsome
The Bubble Calendar is a poster-sized calendar with a bubble to pop every day. They're available in vertical and horizontal models and measure 48" x 17.5" (or 17.5" x 48"!). The printed on paper version will set you back $30, but if you want it on a high quality plastic backing you'll have to pop $50. I think I want one, the only problem is I have no self control. The entire calendar would probably last a week. Now a condom calendar -- that'd last a while. And not because I live dangerously, but because I've never seen a vagina. Unless that blurry one I think I saw on the scrambled porno channel counts. Which, let's be honest, totally should. Haha, virgin no more!
Thanks Brendan, I rented a Moon Bounce for my party this weekend if you want to come over and try to pop it.
Jul 9 2008 More Geek Tattoos That I Would Never Get
Here at Geekologie we've seen gaming tattoos, laser-etched tattoos, a dude with a Zune tattoo, and even eyeball tattoos. And here comes another installment of geeky ink. Apple, Google, Microsoft, Dell, they're all here, along with a few others. Make sure to hit the jump and check out my favorite, the Game Over tattoo. Also, I'll be posting pictures of my wicked Geekologie tattoo just as soon as I get it. Still waiting for the payday loan to clear.
Hit the jump for a bunch more and the link to a couple other smaller ones.
Continue Reading " More Geek Tattoos That I Would Never Get "
Jul 8 2008 Shooting Simulator: Use Your Own Gun
The ST-2 indoor shooting simulator is just the thing you need if you thought Duck Hunt was the awesomest game ever when you were a kid. They system is currently being used by the Russian and Slovakian shooting teams in preparation for the Olympics, and I want one installed in my basement. It's advertised as the "first simulator for shotgun and rifle shooting designed specifically for demanding users such as shooting instructors" and gives you feedback explaining what you did wrong should you miss a shot. You know, stuff like, "you have shitty aim", and "you were distracted by the couple having sex in the bushes". Which is a bad idea. Because one time I tried playing Duck Hunt with daddy's gun and accidentally shot stepmommy while she was vacuuming.
ST-2 shooting simulator keeps your aim sharp [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who I've head can dissolve an entire urinal cake with a single urination.
Jul 8 2008 Scary Crawling Robot Man Is Art, Statement
Apparently Japanese performance artist built this scary ass crawling robot to make a statement about the impending Asian economic crash. Something about how Japanese salarymen are really gonna be crawling along the sidewalk while people stand around and gawk. Honestly I have no idea, which is why I'm not an art critic. I stood in a museum staring at a bunch of squiggly lines for like ten minutes when this woman came up beside me and remaked to her partner, "This is a really profound statement about the technological innovations of the past half century." I turned to them and, confused, asked, "It's not a giant cooch?" Needless to say, the statement Momoyo is making with this robot is beyond me. If I had to guess though, it'd have less to do the plight of the Japanese salaryman because of an economic crash and more to do the plight of a Japanese salaryman with wonky legs whose wheelchair was stolen.
Crawling Businessman Robot Is a Critique On Japanese Salarymen [gizmodo]
Jul 8 2008 Dolphin Submarine/Boat Thing Could Be Fun
The Innerspace Dolphin and Seabreacher and water vessels designed to look and behave like actual dolphins. They're powered by a little engine in the back and you can do all sorts of fun stuff like barrel rolls, jumps, dives and drownings. I want one pretty bad. The Seabreacher just became available for sale this spring, unfortunately I couldn't find a price. Allegedly the smaller Dolphin model went for around $50,000, but I couldn't find any verification of this figure. Anybody know? Also, do you think they'll come out with a Dolphinbreacher model in the future? Because that's what I really see myself doing. Besides, I've already had sex with a porpoise. The porpoise was to get my girlfriend pregnant so she wouldn't leave me! HAH AHA HA HAH AH !! She left anyways. Hated puns.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, a commercial of the thing in action, and a link to the website if you want to buy one.
Continue Reading " Dolphin Submarine/Boat Thing Could Be Fun "
Jul 8 2008 Garden Zombies Add An Undead Touch To Your Flowerbed, Hopefully Scare Solicitors
Tired of staring at the same damn group of garden gnomes in your flowerbed? Well how about (un)livening things up a bit with a Garden Zombie? Garden Zombies cost $90 and the 32"W x 20"D x 8"H sculptures look like they're climbing out of the ground and ready to gnaw on some headfruit.
Not for the faint of heart, the life-sized, gray-toned zombie will claw his way out of your garden plot or family room corner, pleading for assistance with the most lifelike eyes you've ever seen. His macabre expression is captured in such great detail in quality designer resin and finished so realistically that you'll swear you can hear him breathing!
Garden? Maybe. Inside the apartment? F*** no. The last thing I need to see while stumbling my way to a midnight snack is a zombie climbing out of the floor. I'd decimate my tighty-offwhities (if I was wearing any) and cry like a baby. Eventually I'd come to, grab one of my zombie-survival kits, and proceed to kill the poor sap that lives in the apartment below mine.
Jul 8 2008 Surprised?: Dubai Constructing World's Largest Water Fountain. Up Next: Everything Else
In an announcement that surprised absolutely no one, Dubai has voiced its intention of building the world's largest and fanciest water fountain (not of the drinking variety.
Costing a whopping $281 million, the new fountains will shoot water 450 feet into the air and pump 22,000 gallons of water through it at any given time. 6,600 lights and 50 projectors will shoot video and images onto the spray as its in the air...
Cool, I guess. I mean, I love a good fountain show as much as the next person stoned out of their mind, but this seems a little excessive. Why does everything have to be so extreme? You're not trying to make up for anything down there are you, Dubai? Sure, I'll take a loo...MY EYE! So much for that theory.
Hit the jump for what the fountain looks like if you're tripping.
Jul 8 2008 Jump Out A Window: The Wizard Escape Pack
Look around. See any flames? Take a whiff. Does it smell like smoke? Take your iPod's earbuds out. Is there a fire-alarm blaring? If so, strap on the Wizard safety pack, attach the end of the lifeline to something sturdy (no, not your computer monitor) and then dive out a window. Now sit back and piss your dress pants while the Wizard's 250-meter cable lowers you safely to the ground. Designed by HJC Design, the promises an "automated public safety solution with up to 250-meters of reciprocating lifeline technology." You just better hope a co-worker wants your attach point and disconnects your line before you hit ground level (lest you hit ground level at a break-neck velocity). That's why I'm sticking to plan A: my trusty hang glider. Sure it takes up the entire men's bathroom, but seriously, would you rather be safe in the event of an emergency or urinate in your coworker's desk drawers? Ahhhhhhhhhh, exactly. *zip*
Wizard escape pack: too late for MacGyver, too conceptual for Bauer [engadget]
Thanks Julian, I'm thinking we'll use these to escape the strip club without paying our tab
Jul 8 2008 Geekologie Exclusive: The Next Mimobot Star Wars Series 3 Character Is...(Drumroll, Please)
Wicket! Come collect your prize. Last week it was announced that Darth Sidious was the first character in the Mimobot Series 3 of Star Wars USB drives, but Wicket comes in a solid second. God I love that furry little bastard. So cute, I just want to eat him. I mean after skinning and roasting of course. I kid, I kid! The remaining two characters will be revealed in the next two weeks, and the entire series goes on sale July 23rd. Hit the jump for several closeups and a little diorama of Wicket standing on an Imperial Speeder in the woods with several other characters. After all, what good is a USB drive if it doesn't look like one of your favorite movie characters and can't be set it up in little dioramas?*
*No good.
Hit it for more pictures.
Jul 8 2008 Money Can't Buy Classiness: A Gold Porsche
From our "Money Can't Buy Classiness" department here at Geekologie comes this gold covered Porsche. Some moron with more money than taste has added almost 40 lbs of gold to his 911 convertible. So now it's 40 pounds heavier, and 50% less cool. I swear, what is it with rich people's fascination with shiny things? It's ridiculous. You know what other demographic loves shiny objects? Babies. Coincidence? I think not.
Hit the jump for several close-ups of the gaudiness.
Continue Reading " Money Can't Buy Classiness: A Gold Porsche "
Jul 7 2008 Kinetic Ball Sculpture At The BMW Museum
Okay so I've been sitting here playing Bomberman on FireNES and pretending those sick, sick women were the enemies in the game. It wasn't working so I went outside and cut down one of my asshole neighbor's trees. Now I'm feeling a little better, but not much. I figured I'd try and post a nice soothing video to make up for that last one that undoubtedly left you permanently scarred.
This is a video of a kinetic ball sculpture in the recently reopened BMW museum in Munich. It has some elevator music playing in the background that'll either put you to sleep or make you want to kill those Star Wars murderers depending on how you feel about ultra-light jazz. Each of the sculpture's 714 metallic balls is held up by string and moves to create some pretty cool looking effects. The last fifteen seconds are the best though, when the balls come together to take the shape of a car. Way to go BMW. Now if you could just spend a little less time playing with your dangling marbles and a little more getting my driver's-side door to open, we'll be all set.
Hit the jump to see a picture of a car the sculpture sometimes makes.
Continue Reading " Kinetic Ball Sculpture At The BMW Museum "
Jul 7 2008 Devil Women Destroy Collectible Stormtrooper, Are Sick, Clearly Deserve The Death Penalty
What you are about to watch is wrong on every level. Some woman, pissed that her fiancé is in Vegas blowing money on gambling and strippers (a man's God-given right), decided to destroy his most prized possession -- a scout Stormtrooper figure. Needless to say these women are all f***ed in the head. The ringleader is even so dumb as to call the figure a "snowtrooper". Then they proceed to argue that Princess Leia looks like a dude and being obsessed with her is "sick". Clearly these women are delusional and should be locked up. The video is a pain to watch and I had to pause it several times and go outside to calm down. You'll never hate women and their sick ways more than after you watch this video. I just hope the dude remembered to bring home a little something special for his fiancé. Like a really cool VD.
Thanks Punk Jr., but my wife knows better than to mess with my action figures. Don't you honey? Ha, no I'm not taking the tape off, just nod your head.
Jul 7 2008 Mirror Tic Tac Toe Uses Only Half The Pieces
Mirror Tic Tac Toe was made by Peleg Design (not to be confused with Pegleg Design). And since it's mirrored you only use half the X's and O's (which we will now refer to as V's and rainbows)! Pretty clever. Too bad adults don't play Tic Tac Toe and children would just eat or break the pieces. Otherwise I'd make one and then start manufacturing and selling them since I couldn't find a price online from Peleg. Hrrm....Anybody interested in purchasing an iMirror Tic Tac Toe board can contact me directly. Wholesale orders welcome, but not gladly, so don't except me to kiss your ass over the phone or anything.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
Continue Reading " Mirror Tic Tac Toe Uses Only Half The Pieces "
Jul 7 2008 Back To The Future II Marty McFly Hyperdunks Coming Next Month, No Word On Hoverboard
In a move that makes Nike infinitely cooler in my eyes, the company had decided to release a model similar to those seen in Back to the Future II. Of course I'll never buy them, but at least they're trying. Unfortunately the Marty McFly Hyperdunks have laces and don't vacuum-fit to your feet. So the similarities basically end at looking kind of like the ones in the movie. They do sport "Flywire technology" though, which doesn't mean anything really except they're allegedly lightweight. Available late next month (July) for an undisclosed amount of future money, I'll most certainly be passing. The time machine is near completion so I'll just travel to the future and snag the real thing.
UPDATE: Just went for my first spin into the future.
Bad news: There are no cool shoes in the future, only killer robots.
Good news: I called it, pay up!
Hit the jump for the scene in the movie where Marty first puts the shoes on.
Jul 7 2008 Toyota Prius May Get Solar Panel Treatment
Toyota already plans to roll out a plug-in version of the Prius in 2010, and now there are rumors of the company installing solar panels on upcoming models. The panels, if they do become a reality, won't power the engine, but rather the air conditioning, stereo, windows, television, coffee maker, massaging seat covers, etc. As you can see from the artist's rendition of the new Prius, Toyota will likely go with one large solar array protruding from the vehicle's roof. Kidding, I just made that in Photoshop. It does look good though, doesn't it? Strap a wind turbine on there somewhere and you've got a real green-machine. Say, that gives me an idea. Picture of new Solar-Wind Prius added after the jump. But don't worry Toyota, you can just pay for the idea in, well, euros. Lots of them.
Hit the jump for a picture of a Prius Toyota hasn't even thought of yet.
Continue Reading " Toyota Prius May Get Solar Panel Treatment "
Jul 7 2008 Not Bad: Game Cartridge Plays NES Games
I don't actually know what kind of hardware setup is packed into the cartridge, all I know is that it's a NES cartridge and it plays NES games. Which is all that matters to me. I don't care if there's a fairy trapped inside that makes it all happen. Good work modder, but now I wanna see a GameBoy cartridge that plays games. Because that, my friends, would be some nanodamntechnology. I swear, those cartridges were so tiny I was always losing them -- at least that's what I though at the time. Years later I found out my older sister was selling them to buy drugs.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures. Oh, and feel free to jump in if you've got any more info on the cartridge or if my sister sold you my Kid Icarus game -- I want that one back.
Continue Reading " Not Bad: Game Cartridge Plays NES Games "
Jul 7 2008 1-UP Mushroom Burgers Are Green, Spotted
If there's one thing I love it's video game inspired food items. So these Mario 1-UP burgers are right up my alley in my pie-hole. All you need to do is dye your bun tops green with food coloring, melt some mozzarella circles on top, and presto: nobody will touch your burgers. And you know why? That green ketchup that Heinz was trying to peddle back in 2000. Scared the hell out of kids. It's a known fact: kids hate vegetables and all things green. Well, until they hit high school and start experimenting with marijuana. Then green is cool.
Hit the jump if you really want to see what two dyed buns sitting on a granite countertop next to a bowl of green food coloring look like. Hint: think animal dung.
Continue Reading " 1-UP Mushroom Burgers Are Green, Spotted "
Jul 7 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Venetian Blind T-Shirts
The Venetian Blind t-shirt is a shirt that bares your beautifully tanned abs if you're a sexy woman or your pasty, hairy beergut if you're me. All with a simple pull of the string. Now I'm not sure if it goes all the way to the top or not, but it sucks pretty bad if it doesn't. Currently the shirt is only available in museum gift-shops, but fear not: it'll make its way to Spencer's and Hot Topic in no time. And if you ever catch me wearing one I want you to yank the string like you're playing tug-o-war. But not before wrapping it around my neck a few times.
Sexy Venetian Blind T-Shirt Bares Midriffs With the Pull of a String [gizmodo]
Thanks Keo, but I'm holding out for vertical blinds.
