Jun 16 2008World's Most Luxurious Cubicle Looks Like Absolute Crap, Cube Designer Clearly Lacks Theology And Geometry, Good Taste, Hair
I can say whatever I want about the hairless because I'm balder than the U.S. national bird (hint: despite Franklin's penchant for 101 proof bourbon, it's not the turkey). This is allegedly the world's most luxurious office cubicle, designed and built for himself by Jared Nielsen. That's him in the picture. As you can see he's big pimping. If big pimping means you're a monster dork with a competitive shit-eating grin on your face. Did I mention his desk clashes with the stain of the walls and floor? Because it does. I swear, no taste. Screw cubicles anyways, I disassembled mine and built a blanket fortress in its place. I call it Castle Geekskull, and it's impenetrable. BRING IT SUPERFICIAL WRITER! *firing staples* PEW PEW PEW! Holy shit, where'd you get the trebuchet?
Reader Comments
1. Blu - June 16, 2008 4:02 PM
Fancy!
I'll bet he pulls the HOTTEST babes in town!
2. Sean D. - June 16, 2008 4:18 PM
Only girls say 'Pew Pew Pew.'
What's wrong with you? *laughs*
3. hojo - June 16, 2008 4:38 PM
The paneling and floor are nice, but the table clashes (as previously mentioned), and it all looks wrong with the modern chair and gadgetry. There's got to be a more tasteful luxurious cubicle around somewhere... He should send me the table though...
4. Rokk Star - June 16, 2008 4:46 PM
what the crap its nice but theres no point in it!!!!!
5. The Imaginary Reviewer - June 16, 2008 4:48 PM
Get some El Greco or Rosetti on the walls and then we can talk. Oh, and originals, please. No reprinted crap.
6. Jayfournines - June 16, 2008 5:21 PM
how come the I Watch Stuff writer always gets excluded from the shennanigans?
7. Jubtastic1 - June 16, 2008 5:30 PM
Needs bookcases, a fireplace, steampunk keyboard, old phone, Monitor mounted as framed picture and less grinning asshole.
8. sportner - June 16, 2008 6:06 PM
Nice Confederacy of Dunces joke.
9. BlightedArt - June 16, 2008 6:10 PM
I want to see superficial writers retaliation in action. o.o
10. Duck - June 16, 2008 6:23 PM
I dunno, paneled walls are so frou frou. You would think for something luxurious he could have gone with something nicer and more earth friendly.
Unless it was brazilian cherry, cause that's just pretty.
11. Joey - June 16, 2008 8:28 PM
World's Tackiest Cubicle is more like it. That's just aweful. I think I saw a table like that at a furniture store about a month ago. The employees were using it back in the warehouse, cause no one ever came to pick it up. LOL
12. Joey - June 16, 2008 8:29 PM
Sorry, I meant "awful" not "aweful."
*hangs head in embarrassment*
13. pdrunk - June 16, 2008 9:26 PM
I want to tag it and put it up on eBay. I'm not sure if that's before or after I slap that shit-eating grin off of his face.
14. Altaire - June 16, 2008 10:54 PM
It makes me hot when a guy knows what a trebuchet is.
15. Grievousfish - June 17, 2008 12:18 AM
What, no fridge?! Pfffffft!!!
16. Tara - June 17, 2008 1:22 AM
decorate (granted this is hardly what I would consider decorated, just a straight white male buying everthing he saw on a home depot catalogue page and sticking it all together) as much as you want, the shitty phone will remind you where you really are. I've seen better efforts at luxury on Trading Spaces, and that's saying something!
PS luxurious and cubicle should never be used together lol
17. Insatiable Peter - June 17, 2008 3:19 AM
I would love to shit in his cubicle.
18. Closet Rat - June 17, 2008 9:34 AM
You'd think as the "World's Most Luxurious Cubicle", he'd at least have a place for all his crap...
I barely see room for his monitor and phone.
19. guate6 - June 17, 2008 9:05 PM
"Bill, I want you to come into my office. It's come to my attention that you have lagged in your paperwork, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go."
"But what about my cubicle? I decorated it all to be very luxurious??"
"I'm sorry, there's nothing in the company policy about 'luxurious cubicles' so there's not much I can tell you. Goodbye Bill."
[cries]
20. Jared Nielsen - June 18, 2008 2:03 PM
At least the floors are Brazilian Rosewood... Yeah the project is over the top, but that's part of the statement. The negative critique is more fun than the positive comments I've received. Very funny :)
Cheers,
Jared Nielsen