Jun 26 2008Pervwad Hides Cellphone Up His Keister
Jeffrey Barrier is a pervwad. One that was standing on a chair taking cameraphone pictures of a naked chick in Cincinnati, Ohio's Aloha Tanning salon. The woman spotted him and police were quickly on the scene.
When cops later confronted Barrier, "he kept denying any involvement of the incident" and claimed to not have a camera. However, a second search of the suspect turned up the camera. As noted in a Hamilton County Sheriff's Office report, Barrier "did hide evidence in his anus."
Ah yes, the ol' cellphone in the anus trick. Been there, Jeffrey. It helps if you turn the ringer off. Say, this reminds me of a song I just made up.
Well, if my ass is a ringin', don't bother callin'
Yeah, if my ass is a ringin', don't bother callin'
If my ass is a ringin', don't bother, my cellphone's in my anus
Hit the jump for a picture of Captain Perv and a copy of the Sherriff's report and court affidavit.
"Can You Hear Me Now?" [smokinggun]
via
Criminal Voyeur Hides Cellphone Up Butt To Escape From Cops [gizmodo]
Thanks to Ray, who has proudly never had any cavities searched
Reader Comments
1. 64 SPLIT - June 26, 2008 10:59 AM
1) that's gotta hurt
2) why not just take the SIM card out and shove that up yer anus
3) sack off no.2 - why not just get a real girlfriend to take photos of in the nude or at least just download some porn!
2. prewife - June 26, 2008 11:00 AM
no way around it. It's gotta hurt going in at least as bad coming out
http://prewife.com
3. Plixtle - June 26, 2008 11:01 AM
If he clinches just right he can still speed dial, though.
4. Julian - June 26, 2008 11:01 AM
Can't say I haven't done this before, this guy is lucky he was using a camera phone. . . I got caught by the woman's changing room in The Gap with an SLR a 30X lens and the carrying case. Long story short, ExLax doesn't help.
5. Spanky - June 26, 2008 11:05 AM
Whole new meaning to a CRACKBERRY.
6. blp - June 26, 2008 11:22 AM
First thought of any Seinfeld fan like myself is "not as bas as Fusilli Jerry."
7. damn luddites - June 26, 2008 11:45 AM
I would never do that. that's where I keep my wallet.
8. guate6 - June 26, 2008 12:02 PM
#4: there's no such thing as a 30x lens. Even in the point-and-shoot world. You may get 30x with digital zoom, but that's a lie. Granted I know you were joshing around, so I'll let it slide...though I'd imagine if there were a such thing as a 30x SLR lens, that thing would go from your anus to your mouth...It'd make an interesting built-in sitting device I'd imagine, and cost upwards of $200,000.
Luddites: I thought I was the only one who did that :\
9. russell - June 26, 2008 12:15 PM
in the police report it says "in the area of his anus." it doesn't actually say he put it inside his anus. he basically tucked it into the back of his pants between his butt cheeks. this story fucking sucks.
10. che-che - June 26, 2008 2:44 PM
what are the odds of me actually listening to the actual song. stevie ray vaughn. backing you up on that shit. MAN!!!!! hahaaaa!!!
11. Sev - June 26, 2008 4:43 PM
What? No pictures of the women after the jump?? Disappointment. : P
12. Sev - June 26, 2008 4:44 PM
And LOL, that guy has no chin.
13. Aug - June 26, 2008 5:08 PM
The creepos always look like creepos....
He's rather... misshapen, eh?
14. shananai - June 26, 2008 7:26 PM
holy shit i'm like 15 minutes from that place! thank god i don't tan there! freeeeeaaak!
15. Bryan - June 26, 2008 9:52 PM
Silly! You wouldn't want the ringing to give you away. That's what the vibrate mode is for. And there's a perfectly good reason why I called myself twenty times and you can't prove otherwise!
16. 25 - June 27, 2008 3:43 AM
whats the big deal? i have a whole bunch of stuff in my butt.
17. dave - June 27, 2008 9:48 AM
so... um... where's the pics he was taking?
18. Elmo - June 27, 2008 2:42 PM
If he puts ANYTHING up his ass (other then his head) he MIGHT be gay
just saying
19. Franko - June 29, 2008 7:06 PM
I would have love to see the video of doctors taking out the mobile phone out of his ass Lol!
20. groonk - June 30, 2008 4:45 PM
oh zod, no!
21. jakebarnes - June 30, 2008 5:36 PM
Why didn't he just stash the phone in a bush or something?
(double entendre)
22. LynneW - July 17, 2008 10:25 AM
Great article, laughed my ass off, then sent the link to everyone I know. I actually live in Cincinnati. Why wasn't this '"LIVE BREAKING NEWS" when it happened? By the way, love your writing style!