Jun 25 2008Oh Boy!: Spray On Prophylactic Coming Soon
We've all been there before: You finally bring a girl home from the bar, get her to the bedroom, and you're rounding 3rd base and trying to come home when...shit, out of condoms. So you grab a snack-sized Doritos bag off the nightstand, but before you can secure the thing to your member with a piece of electrical tape, the chick dives out a window.
Enter German inventor Jan Vinzenz Krause. Jan got super drunk at a party once and forgot to take his shoes off before passing out. He woke up with a huge penis drawn on his face and a crotchful of silly string. Putting two and two together, Jan soon invented spray-on latex condoms.
The spray-on condom prototype measures a man's size (really big, big, average, small, really small) and then covers his penis in liquid latex providing him with a proper fitting condom. A man places his penis in a chamber. He then presses a button and a pump squirts out liquid latex through some nozzles onto the man's penis in about 20 seconds. If 20 seconds seems like a long time to wait the good news is that the inventor is working on shortening the time to about 10 seconds.
Uh, Jan? 10 seconds is a long time and The Geekologie Writer isn't exactly known for his stamina. What he is known for is once trying to slow himself down by using an empty shampoo bottle for a condom. Now I'm "that Pert Plus guy".
Hit the jump for the uncensored picture and a video demonstration.
Spray-On Snug Fit Condom For All Sizes [inventorspot]
Thanks to Melissa and Will for reminding me that I'll probably never have sex again
Reader Comments
1. RyanThePerson - June 25, 2008 5:31 PM
First? Also, I would definetly buy it!
2. Jazzman - June 25, 2008 5:51 PM
umm... how do you take it off and where does the nut juice go???
3. Elmo - June 25, 2008 6:01 PM
ouch!
4. Naim - June 25, 2008 6:02 PM
"Excuse me while I hose down my dick with this foul smelling rubber."
This is garbage. Regular condoms are bad enough. Bring on the male pill.
5. trevor - June 25, 2008 6:20 PM
number four, are you mentally retarded, condoms prevent against more than just pregnancy sheesh
6. William - June 25, 2008 6:37 PM
Did anyone else notice how thick that condom is. It would be like having sex with a tire inner tube on your wiener.
7. Brianna - June 25, 2008 6:46 PM
I agree, it looks to thick, so what is the point? Also, There is nowhere for semen to go and my boyfriend would blow up.
8. ky13 - June 25, 2008 6:48 PM
I thought the whole friggin point was for when you forget to bring a condom. HTF is remembering to bring a damn spray can *easier*?? o.O
9. greg - June 25, 2008 6:48 PM
Its better and cheaper plant a latex tree on the backyard, cave the tree, take of the latex, put it on fire, mix, let it cold a little, put in a wood model, let it cold again and then use on your dick.
uffff
I´d buy that machine, when they invent an 2 seconds model
10. pdrunk - June 25, 2008 6:53 PM
I thought this was just some shit they made up on CSI:NY.
11. Bman - June 25, 2008 6:53 PM
What a mess though.
They need to make something that is a bit cleaner. The next day you have to clear dried latex out of the sheet, the carpet, your pubes!!
12. number6 - June 25, 2008 7:03 PM
Fucking stupid. How is this in any way better than a regular condom? Less convenient, more messy, less sensation.
13. rob - June 25, 2008 7:27 PM
i just wonder what is up with them glasses?!?!
14. slut machine - June 25, 2008 7:58 PM
that video was unsettling to watch. It reminded me of a terrible night I had after the bar a couple of months ago...details are unnessesary but the point is, a condom seems much more direct.
15. Naim - June 25, 2008 9:00 PM
Number five: Sorry, I was talking from the perspective of someone who has a stable relationship, not someone who sleeps with whores like you, apparently.
16. his uberness - June 25, 2008 9:08 PM
that's the dumbest damn thing i've ever seen...
first, i imagine that shit setting up with a few hairs in it would be painful as all hell to remove.
second, the material is too thick (but plus side for her is you can add as much girth as you felt like, however rendering the sex completely useless for you) with nowhere for the semen to go. i've had a few girls that liked to pinch it in during oral and let me tell ya.. a release without a 'release' is pretty damn lame.
third, pretty sure a condom is lot easier to get ahold of at 2am than a refill bottle of liquid latex.
nice try fellas, but don't dump all your money into company stock just yet.
17. guate6 - June 25, 2008 9:43 PM
A lot of places give free condoms away. (especially during Mardi Gras, they give 'em away by the bag-full.
...just sayin'
18. duh - June 25, 2008 10:31 PM
just go to a clinic like planned parenthood
19. pork musket - June 25, 2008 10:55 PM
Fuck that, she can get an abortion, and if she didn't want herpes she shouldn't have gone home with me.
20. Adri Leya - June 25, 2008 11:10 PM
Wow, that Numa Numa guy is always up to something!
21. dimitri - June 26, 2008 12:08 AM
i must get myself a pair of those glasses
22. Joey - June 26, 2008 12:37 AM
The only good thing I can see about this is that it's form-fitting. What if there were a machine that would take your measurements and then manufacture custom fitting condoms for you? Now THAT sounds like a good idea. But this? Nope.
23. James007 - June 26, 2008 2:09 AM
I think most people's problems with condoms is that they're uncomfortable and not form-fitting enough.
I'm uncut and my dick gets slightly harder and softer during sex depending on what I'm doing. Wearing a condom during this screws up the fit so that I need to adjust it. I'm not sure if I'm alone here - maybe condoms are more comfortable for guys who have been circumcized.
I've dreamt of the spray-on condom for some time now. Not this contraption though. Something more along the lines of a small aerosol or pump spray that would coat my cock with a thin film that would protect against STD's.
24. Jubtastic1 - June 26, 2008 5:25 AM
Fails at the 'put your cock in the metal box' part.
25. JohnOB1 - June 26, 2008 7:50 AM
Excuse me honey while this lab technician in a lab coat and gloves sprays my member with goo. Who says romance is dead?
26. lipsmackers - June 26, 2008 8:53 AM
i wonder...if you blow on it does it dry faster?
27. blp - June 26, 2008 9:32 AM
lol @ Naim totally pwn'ing trevor. Condoms are evil, the work of the devil! Anyone who uses them to protect against diseases are filthy degenerates.
28. Steve - June 26, 2008 1:53 PM
"Sorry hunny, i forgot to bring my coin sized condom......
... good thing i brought this huge dick replica and spray can"
29. Zippy - June 26, 2008 2:39 PM
OK, I know that it's called "wood", but I thought that was a figure of speech. WTF, spray on condom? Call me when they invent the spray on blow job!
30. bedot - June 26, 2008 4:37 PM
In the picture, isnt this dude a little to comfortable with his face by plastic phallic objects?
31. Sev - June 26, 2008 4:57 PM
What if I don't even make it through the spray on part!! Looks kinda sexy. *frowns*
32. Michael - June 26, 2008 6:03 PM
1. Where does the happy juice at the end go? 2. After you spray this on how would you prevent it from entering your peehole/grasping onto it. i.e. a painful tug at the end as well... It does look kinda hot though, wonder if you can peel em off and keep em. Would make a great gift for those in puberty lol, they can measure themselves via spray on condoms.
33. Mr V - June 27, 2008 2:53 AM
I'll agree it has some kinks to work out but I can definitely see potential.
I'll buy it when a practical model exists you can just pop in your bag and it runs off batteries.
34. Very McToaster - July 1, 2008 12:15 AM
... I bet it melts in the toaster...
35. Chile - October 1, 2008 5:56 PM
Hmm comes in handy...Not for sex,but for vandalizing a wall with a phallic object sticking out of it.TAKE THAT SOCIETY!