Jun 24 2008Melon-Powered Device Chargers Coming
So I'm making today Kinetic Energy Day on Geekologie. First the Dance Charger, and now the possibility of bra electitricity.
It turns out that the physics of breast motion have been studied closely for the last two decades by a gamut of researchers, most of them women with the exception of The Geekologie Writer. LaJean Lawson, a former professor of exercise science at Oregon State University, has studied breast motion since 1985 and now works as a consultant for companies like Nike to develop better sports bra designs.
Lawson explained that breasts move on three different axes: from side to side, front to back, and up and down. The most motion is generated on the vertical axis. Naturally, the bigger the breast, the more momentum it generates. "Let's face it--if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running," Lawson said. Measurements compiled by Lawson and her colleagues show that a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down (35 inches!) during exercise, while a B-cup in a high-support bra barely moves an inch.
ZOINKS! Honestly, I have no idea if boob-power is possible or not because I stopped reading the article there and started speculating with The Superficial Writer if there's a chick in the world with the melons to jump start a car. What can I say, we're scientists.
Victoria's Circuit - Harnessing the untapped power of breast motion [slate]
Thanks Chuck and Katlyn, I'll never look at knockers the same way again.
Reader Comments
1. Tap - June 24, 2008 3:57 PM
That is the most awesomest thing EVER!
Man, I heart boobies.
2. Derek - June 24, 2008 4:04 PM
Haha, JUMP start it, Geekologie Writer you clever fiend you.
3. Julian - June 24, 2008 4:07 PM
Too late suckers, I know what the next thing would have been. But I just patented it. I thought of it last week, the now PATENTED crotch charger. you see its very simple you attach a small device to your twig and berries, which resembles a tiny garbage bag (Filipino size available) and as you run the movement in your junkular area charges whatever device you plan on using on your person like iPods and your significant other's vibrator, which they will most likely be using from now on because you wont want to take it off. . . also because the adhesive that keeps the bag on is pretty solid and we haven't found a solvent yet. . . its a work in progress. . . we'll get to it . . . taking orders now. $129.99 (filipino size is $59.99)
4. chainsawarms - June 24, 2008 4:09 PM
when do the experiments start? I want to be among those to witness the car jump start attempt..
#1, I concer on the hearting of the boobies.
5. guate6 - June 24, 2008 4:17 PM
I have that one spencer's shirt: http://www.spencersonline.com/guys_t-shirts_attitude-ts/boobies-make-me-smile/
I too have been studying breasts since 1985, what a neat coincidence...My name should be added to the research material, and the patents.
With devices like these...more studying is bound to be necessary.
If the jumpstart thing works, hell, screw AAA, I'm calling DD.
6. Freddy K - June 24, 2008 4:29 PM
Now this is a fun way to charge your cellular phone. Forget that stupid dance charger.
Where are the pictures/videos? I don't care abouth what has actually taken place. Its not nice to tease us with this theoretical mumbo jumbo if we don't at least have a visual aid.
wow.... 35 inches? damn.
7. damn luddites - June 24, 2008 4:50 PM
all that wasted potential energy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGgFlsjXOCc
8. Jubtastic1 - June 24, 2008 4:58 PM
Heh, reminded me of this from the daily mash:
"Dr Tom Logan, head of breasts at the Tits Institute, said reports his bra research was complete were ‘irresponsible’, and could stop women volunteering to help with his work."
In case anyone here hasn't read it already, links on my name.
9. The end of global warming? - June 24, 2008 5:05 PM
So all we need is giant brested woman (who are also hot) to skip down the street wearing low support bras, to maximize boob bounce. Then we can power the world forever
10. guate6 - June 24, 2008 5:59 PM
Luddites: Awesome.
Ok so I have an idea: We take hamster wheels, right. Then we make them large...enough for, say, a woman perhaps? Ok, then we strap this thing on them...they work out/lose weight, and can power things with both the spinning of the wheel, AND their bouncing bosoms. See where I'm going with this? No? It's like Baywatch, but sort of better...I guess.
11. . - June 24, 2008 7:15 PM
I wish I got paid to study breast motion.
12. McTOM - June 24, 2008 8:16 PM
lol! last sentence killed me :D
13. Max - June 24, 2008 8:50 PM
There is no fucking way a D cup breast moves 35 inches vertically unless you include movement of the body. That would be the equivalent of them moving from the woman's forehead to her navel.
14. Joey - June 25, 2008 12:13 AM
Looks like the local Vic-Tanny has found a way to defer running costs.
15. NY - June 25, 2008 10:46 AM
I think this will put it all in to perspective.
http://www.shockabsorber.co.uk/bounceometer/shock.html
16. Momboelitist - June 25, 2008 11:54 AM
Boobs? Yes please!
17. SigmundFuckingFreud - June 25, 2008 4:55 PM
and here I thought the perfect job didn't exist. Hot dog.