Jun 12 2008Chicago Building World's 2nd Tallest Building
Chicago has started construction of the world's 2nd tallest building, the Chicago Spire, which, when completed in 2011, will stand 610 meters (2,000 feet) tall. However, the accolade will be short lived, as the 612 meter (2,009 foot) Russian Tower in Moscow is scheduled for completion in 2012. The Chicago Spire will be the world's tallest residential-only building though, and have 150 floors with 1,194 condominiums ranging in price from $750,000 to $40 million (a nice place to visit but a better place to rob). Let's see, what else? Ah yes, the spire makes one complete 360 degree turn from top to bottom and "has been labeled as a giant 'drill bit' by the public and others in the media have likened it to a 'tall twisting tree' and a 'blade of grass'". Wow, those are the worst descriptions I've ever heard. These people are either pretentious a-holes are high as hell on their own 'twisted trees' and 'blades of grass'. Seriously, it's a giant freaking dildo.
Reader Comments
1. stickykeys - June 12, 2008 2:56 PM
That's clearly a joint dude.
2. confizzled - June 12, 2008 3:12 PM
Damn #1, you beat me to it... I was gonna say that... hahaha...
3. me likey long time - June 12, 2008 3:17 PM
sooooo, when they have to bug bomb the place who do they call?
Trojan or Durex?
4. Momboelitist - June 12, 2008 3:19 PM
I was wondering what to spend this 40 million on.
Oh, and I will make the first phallic reference:
Hey Goober! That thing looks like a big twisty penis!
5. Eric - June 12, 2008 3:27 PM
WOW ............. i so want to go to the top of that and abseil down!!!!
6. chaz - June 12, 2008 3:32 PM
lol @1 someone has to torch that top of the roof and take a picture of that thing.
7. Spencer - June 12, 2008 3:32 PM
"How many puffs does it take to get to the top of your building?"
8. bedot - June 12, 2008 3:34 PM
Dammit. All the good joint jokes have been taken
9. dan - June 12, 2008 3:43 PM
i haven't seen a spliff like that since the one Tommy Chong smoked at the beginning of "Up in Smoke." i'm moving to Chicago and bringing my favorite arsonist with me.
10. Momboelitist - June 12, 2008 3:52 PM
Stop with the weed jokes and start with the penis jokes! I command you!
11. Bryan - June 12, 2008 3:53 PM
Damn, this is the only result when I click on the keyword "dildo." Get to work, writer!
Anyway, did the architects produce that picture? Because it sure looks like more than one 360 degree rotation.
12. blah - June 12, 2008 4:07 PM
@4: how is it that you are making the first phallic reference when the writer already did it? Did you get so excited about your clever "twisty penis" thought that you forgot to finish reading?
13. pow - June 12, 2008 4:14 PM
that's is most obviously a joint. yup.
14. me - June 12, 2008 4:22 PM
I just have to leave this even though it has been said
That is a joint
The architects were getting high before their presentation
I can just here them saying "Let's see if they'll pick this one?"
15. Jeff - June 12, 2008 4:35 PM
What a goal. Imagine being on that engineering team. HEY Guys! Lets build the SECOND Tallest building ever. They must have been stoked.
16. Tom_frost_rocks_cock - June 12, 2008 4:41 PM
This is clearly more from our nations number one social pariah and pederast extraordinaire Tom Frost. This is a scaled up "toy" from his personal collection of child torturing devices. We must stop the building now, lest the noble city of Chicago have it's skyline defiled with a gigantic monument to Tom Frost's depravity.
17. feckless - June 12, 2008 4:57 PM
All of you are a bunch of stoners. This is clearly a Tastee Freeze ice cream.
18. hojo - June 12, 2008 5:06 PM
While I appreciate the "twisted fatty" aspect of this project, it's still really ugly and doesn't go along with the skyline at all. I would be quite nervous living in the shadow of this behemoth. This picture is like porno for terrorist.
19. SmokingGirl - June 12, 2008 5:10 PM
If I would have been the first one to point out the phallic nature of this building, I probably would have gotten my ass gangbanged for being a penis-hating feminist...again. Just like when I got my t*** smashed in a vice over my cannibal commentary; and then what happened? That's right, the human cake and the bread heads posts.
Don't doubt me...soon you will all learn.
20. Derek - June 12, 2008 5:35 PM
Couldn't we just tack on another 10 feet and beat the damn Ruskys? i mean, c'mon, 9 F***ING FEET.
21. Skatelip - June 12, 2008 5:41 PM
feckless-
Surely the folks at your Tastee Freeze were more generous than the cheap-ass bastards at the one I went to growing up. To consume an ice cream cone that large, I'd have to be high from smoking a Chicago skyline-style joint.
22. Mike Hawk - June 12, 2008 8:10 PM
"I have no idea whats goin' on......"
23. The Green Piñata - June 12, 2008 9:27 PM
It really is a bit falic.
24. John - June 12, 2008 9:53 PM
They used Sony Pictures Imageworks to create a video of how the spire would look.
(the cg stuff) http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3556524511134491044
If you need that much marking to build a building...
25. Mishi - June 12, 2008 10:38 PM
that is one big mo effin jizzoint. dang mang!
26. It Smells Gouda - June 12, 2008 10:59 PM
thats the biggest joint i have ever seen...
27. Clearly - June 12, 2008 11:32 PM
@ most of these comments...
thank you for pointing out that it is CLEARLY a joint, you have done your country well :)
28. emily - June 13, 2008 12:57 AM
@ 19
What the f*** are you talking about? Are you too high to know the different between a vise and a vice? Have you been smoking a few too many Chicago spires?
because it... the building looks like a joint. I'm getting in on the fun!!!! Whee!
29. Sakesaru - June 13, 2008 6:15 AM
A dildo, it looks like one.
30. the - June 13, 2008 7:09 AM
''a nice place to visit but a better place to rob'' Beastie Boys!! but yeah , nice building i guess
31. Marcos - June 13, 2008 7:45 AM
Woodstock is jealous.
32. feckless - June 13, 2008 7:53 AM
@21 I must bow down to popular decision that it is a joint. And, according to #28, the term "Chicago Spire" is now synonymous with "a fattie".
I dare not partake of the Chicago Spire as I have exams soon. Everyone else, enjoy!
33. Momboelitist - June 13, 2008 9:25 AM
@12, I actually came up with the "twisty penis" phrase on the spot as I wrote! So, now who is.....something or something?
By the way, I live in Chicagoland which qualifies me to name it the Twisty Penis Buildong! Take that joint people!
34. Michael Heather - June 13, 2008 2:59 PM
I'm pretty sure that the Birj Dubai is taller then both of these and is already been completed 629m to the roof and 800+ to the top of the spire. Plus they have just commissioned a 1km tall tower in Kuwait.
Neither look like doobies though, so i'll guess i'll give you yanks some credit for that
35. Jab - June 13, 2008 3:06 PM
I like it (it is a joint), but why are they putting it near Navy Pier and away from the skyline? It makes the city look lopsided and stupid.
36. Cinema Stereo - June 14, 2008 3:00 AM
Just looking at it makes me high.
37. Genghis Khunt - June 14, 2008 2:52 PM
Chicago = unicorn.
38. Mr Pink - June 17, 2008 2:41 PM
That looks like a bong...hey that looks like a bong too!
Now that's the worst damn bong i've ever seen!
39. micro - June 18, 2008 4:07 AM
DAMN YOU GENGHIS!
i was going to say that.
i was so excited that none of the comments mentioned the obvious resemblence to a unicorns horn. but then in the goddamn second to last comment, you ruined my day.
i second your notion.
chicago=magical mysitcal single horned stallion-like beast.