Jun 27 2008 Half RV, Half Houseboat, All Totally Awesome

Cool Amphibious Manufacturers International retrofits RV's to make them amphibious. You just drive the massive mother into a lake, and presto, houseboat for the weekend. I want one badly but they cost anywhere between $850,000 - $1.2 million, putting them about $850,000 - $1.2 million out of my price range. Oh well, I guess I can always steal the neighbor's RV and drive it into the lake. It might float. Some sugar in the gas tank should do the trick. Check out a link to the company's website after the jump -- they even make an amphibious SUV and sports car. Neat shit. Certainly brings new meaning the the phrase, "I drove my RV into a lake", doesn't it?

Friend: What did you get into this weekend?
Me: You know, the usual -- I drove my RV into the lake.
Friend: HA! No seriously.
Me: I'm being serious, it's amphibious.
Friend: Man, if you're just gonna lie--
Me: Fine asshole, I had sex with some chick from outerspace.
Friend: No way! Do they really have three tits?

Hit the jump for some more shots and a link to their pictureful website.

Oh, and have a great weekend!

Continue Reading " Half RV, Half Houseboat, All Totally Awesome "

Jun 27 2008 Toaster Launches Your Bread When It's Done

Freddie Yauner is a nutjob. A nutjob with a dream. A pretty lame dream. A dream of building The Highest Popping Toaster In The World. And here it is. It uses high-pressure CO2 and a mechanical arm to blast your toast through the ceiling and kill the woman in the apartment above yours that you swear must run on the freaking treadmill directly above your desk all day long. That's it, I'm going up there and screaming at her until she cries.

UPDATE: Damnit, she distracted me with a loaf of banana bread and I forgot what I went up there for. I think she's a witch.

Insane toaster launches your toast high into the air for some reason [dvice]

Thanks to Lee, king of problematic neighbors.

Jun 27 2008 Boom Arm Starbase Workstation Allows You To Work Comfortably From Bed, Recliner, Can

The Starbase Alpha Boom Boom Room Workstation Arm thingy is ridiculously named and holds either a laptop or LCD monitor while you're playing with yourself in bed or asleep on the can.

Workstations available for use with either a Laptop computer(ST-03) or for use with an LCD Flat screen monitor(ST-04).

Key Benefits:
Use your computer in comfort
Use your computer from non-traditional places
Portable take it where you need it.

Both cost about $300 and you'll be ridiculed if you ever use one. Just like I was after posing for that picture there. And before you ask, yes, those are my pink sheets, and no, that's not a boner. Those are my toes. Wait -- I take that back. Freakin' huge.

Never get out of bed to blog with the Boom Arm Starbase Workstation [bbgadgets]

Jun 27 2008 Stormtrooper High Heels May Make Your Boyfriend's Head Explode Like The Death Star

I'm pretty confident I speak for everyone here when I say there's nothing a geek finds sexier than a stormtrooper. Am I right? Am I right? I am. And what better way to get your girlfriend in on your sick fetish than some Stormtrooper high heels? A girlfriend that would have typically laughed you down will now happily don the costume, as trying on a new pair of shoes is simply too temping for a woman to pass up. Am I right? Am I right? I am. No but seriously honey, put these on. Wow you're hot, now stomp on my junk. That's the stuff. Now pew-pew me in the head and call me Luke.

Stormtrooper High Heels Are Key to All Your Sex Fantasies [gizmodo]

Thanks Shawn, now I really do want a pair.

Jun 27 2008 Little Origami Crane Constructed Using The Ultra Precise Da Vinci Surgical Robot

This is a video of a Japanese surgeon using the Da Vinci Surgical Robot to construct a little origami crane. I had no idea Leonardo had robotic hands, but like my dad always says, "Son, you're a freaking idiot." The feat is all the more spectacular when you see the size of the crane at the end -- it's only as big as a penny! Fly on, little origami crane, fly on. I don't know about you, but I think this Da Vinci robot is really gonna revolutionize origami implants.

Youtube

Thanks Shuck from Germany, say -- if I come over there you think I could sleep on your floor? Maybe drink some of your beer?

Jun 27 2008 Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps

Some designers over at Transparent House have come up with a pretty clever way of recycling old cassette tapes. Not as clever as shooting them off your fence from the back porch, but still pretty clever. They're making lamps. That's right, lamps. You know, illumination devices. As you can see from the picture, they cast pretty cool shadows on the walls. But I don't think they're for sale, so if you're interested you'll have to make one yourself. But please, don't be a dipshit and use opaque tapes like I did.

Hit the jump for several more pictures.

Continue Reading " Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps "

Jun 27 2008 Free Replacements Available For NC Residents With "WTF" License Plates

So the folks at the North Carolina DMV just now caught wind of things called "texting" and "the interwebs" and learned that the license plates they were issuing that started with "WTF" had a deeper, darker, what the f***ier side.

Last year, state officials notified nearly 10,000 holders of license plates with the letter combination "WTF" that they could get a replacement at no charge after officials learned that the combination is a common acronym in text messaging for a vulgar phrase, "What the ..."

WTF was the first random letter combination available when DMV switched from blue- to red-lettered plates. DMV spokeswoman Marge Howell received a sample plate WTF-5506 to use as a prop for news stories about the switch.

But while tracking down the errant plates, no one at the Division of Motor Vehicles checked their own Web site. "WTF-5505" is shown as a sample of a personalized plate.

Interesting. But does this mean just the random, state-issued plates are being recalled, or all plates with "WTF"? Because I'll be damned if they try and take "WTF BITS" away from me.

State's sample license plate: What the ... [newsobserver]
Picture [flickr]

Thanks Zippy, are they trying to take your WTF plate too?

Jun 27 2008 Wait, What? You Put The Servers Where?

So some company's lease expired and they had to move to different offices in the same building -- the only problem is there was nowhere to put their servers. So did they just fire an intern and and put them it in the poor sap's office? No. They did what any reasonable company would do and built a server room only accessible via another company's women's restroom. You know, in the handicapped stall.

The company's executives signed a new lease and prepared to move. There was, however, just one, small hitch. The nice little server room they built in the back of their office - equipped with air conditioning units, ventilation, dedicated power, backup power, and so on - could not be relocated. Not only would it cost too much, but there was simply no room for it. The server room would just have to remain upstairs.

Obviously, the new second-floor tenant wouldn't want their neighbors walking through their office to access a server room, so building management and the company's executives came up with an alternative: wall off the server room door and build a new one. It seemed simple enough, but there was, however, just one small hitch. The only available wall to install a door was adjacent to the women's restroom. Inside the handicapped stall.

Ha, that's great. And no, Superficial Writer, you can't go check on the servers again. That's like the third time you've asked this morning.

Server room built into ladies' room handicapped stall [bbgadgets]

Jun 26 2008 Brothel On Wheels Gets Busted, I Weep

Well folks, in an attempt to take away our Eighth Amendment right (the right to pay for and receive sexual acts in the back of a moving vehicle) the FBI busted what they're calling a "brothel-on-wheels" in Miami.

Miami Beach undercover detectives who paid a $40 entry fee and boarded a stretch limousine bus Sunday found women onboard offering oral sex and lap dances for money, authorities said.

Authorities arrested Christine Morteh, 29, of Miramar, and the driver, Clyde Scott, along with four other people Sunday. Miami-Dade jail spokeswoman Janell Hall said Morteh faces charges including offering to commit or engage in prostitution, conducting business without a license, directing another to a place of prostitution and deriving support from prostitution.

Whoa, whoa, whoa -- those sound like some pretty serious charges. Completely inappropriate. I was thinking more along the lines of a gas card and handicapped parking sticker.

Cops bust alleged brothel-on-wheels in Miami [cnn]

Thanks Romeo, but I kind of wish you had notified me about this service earlier.

Jun 26 2008 Love It Or Hate It, It's Still A Steampunk Desk

The Desk Machine is a line of steampunkish desks by artist Dale Mathis. They all have a bunch of gears inside that turn and make you dizzy when you're signing TPS reports.

The desk features dozens of gears of different sizes that all sync together. The effect is such that the entire desk is "running" under its own power. The framework of the desk is wood with oversized rivets and bolts added to complete the look. Also, the legs are designed to mimic the look of swing-arms found on almost every motor on the road. The keyboard tray is also integrated into the gearing system.

Now when it says the keyboard tray is integrated into the system, I assume that means that it's constantly going in and out, effectively making it impossible to type. Which, quite frankly, you don't need to anyways if you can afford a $21,000 desk. That's what your blonde bombshell of a personal secretary (who was hired for her looks and not skills) is for. Isn't that right, you sexy little thing you? Haha, you typed that. God you're stupid.

Hit the jump for a video of the desk in action.

Continue Reading " Love It Or Hate It, It's Still A Steampunk Desk "

Jun 26 2008 R2-D2 And Darth Vader USB Hubs Are Legit

It's a well known fact that USB hubs come in all shapes and sizes, so it was only a matter of time before some company licensed a few Star Wars models. And here they are: R2-D2 and Darth Vader. R2 moves his head from side to side and lights up and makes boopity beep boop noises and Vader's eyes glow red and he breathes heavy while he, too, turns his head. They'll be available next month for about $66 and I'm definitely buying an R2. Or, I dunno, demanding one in exchange for not writing a scathing review.

Hit the jump for a video of the hubs in action!

Continue Reading " R2-D2 And Darth Vader USB Hubs Are Legit "

Jun 26 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Ceiling Mounted Faucets

The Gessi ceiling-mounted faucet is mounted to the ceiling because walls are boring. You control the flow with a little joystick (or optional remote) and they probably cost a fortune. Especially if you don't already have water pipes running in your ceiling. Still, I like them and wouldn't be upset if one of my favorite bars installed them. But I would be if my girlfriend tried to in our bathroom. Last week she was installing a new shower curtain and, long story short, almost burnt the house down.

Gessi's Crazy, Crazy Ceiling Mounted Plumbing [uberreview]

Jun 26 2008 Highly Questionable: 3-Person Table Tennis

This 3-person table tennis table looks like the least fun thing I've seen in a while. I have no idea how you play and whether or not the person in the middle always loses, but if I had to guess I'd say yes.

Okay I did some more research and it turns out the pieces are part of a modular table tennis setup that can be arranged in a variety of ways. Six of the pieces will even make a complete circle and still won't be fun. Not unless you douse the ball with tiki torch fluid and then try to hit each other in the face. Oh damn, did I just invent the world's awesomest game? Hell yeah I did, it's called strip Mario Kart.

Hit the jump for a pic of another configuration.

Continue Reading " Highly Questionable: 3-Person Table Tennis "

Jun 26 2008 DARPA Vulcan Engine Solves Problems

The problem with traditional scramjet planes (planes with the potential of hitting Mach 12-24) is they require supersonic airflow in order to function. So getting up to Mach 4 is a problem. That's why they've typically been piggybacked on other planes to get up to speed, and then released. Which isn't efficient or cost effective (since when did we start caring about this?).

Enter the DAPRA Vulcan. The Vulcan is a hybrid engine that can power a plane with a turbo jet until it's time to kick on the scramjet and feel your nuts climb up into your stomach. DARPA hopes to have a working prototype complete by 2012 and I'm all for it. Think about it -- Mach 24. That's like 250 trillion miles an hour. Which does comes with some inherent risk: I heard if you go that fast you may actually start aging in reverse and then crash the plane because you're seven and can't fly. I believe it.

Hit the jump for a conceptual video.

Continue Reading " DARPA Vulcan Engine Solves Problems "

Jun 26 2008 Pervwad Hides Cellphone Up His Keister

Jeffrey Barrier is a pervwad. One that was standing on a chair taking cameraphone pictures of a naked chick in Cincinnati, Ohio's Aloha Tanning salon. The woman spotted him and police were quickly on the scene.

When cops later confronted Barrier, "he kept denying any involvement of the incident" and claimed to not have a camera. However, a second search of the suspect turned up the camera. As noted in a Hamilton County Sheriff's Office report, Barrier "did hide evidence in his anus."

Ah yes, the ol' cellphone in the anus trick. Been there, Jeffrey. It helps if you turn the ringer off. Say, this reminds me of a song I just made up.

Well, if my ass is a ringin', don't bother callin'
Yeah, if my ass is a ringin', don't bother callin'
If my ass is a ringin', don't bother, my cellphone's in my anus

Hit the jump for a picture of Captain Perv and a copy of the Sherriff's report and court affidavit.

Continue Reading " Pervwad Hides Cellphone Up His Keister "

Jun 26 2008 World's Largest Pool: No, Not The Ocean

Although it might as well be. The San Alfonso del Mar is a 1,013 meter, 19-acre pool on the central coast of Chile. It holds 66 million gallons of filtered sea-water and even has a 115-foot deep end (making it even deeper than yesterday's pool). Although I think we can all agree this is actually less of a pool and more of a man-made lake. I have a rule: if you can boat on it, it's not a pool. But that's just me. As you can see, the pool is just a stone's throw from the beach, which begs the question, "Did you not see that massive natural pool right there before you built this thing?" Regardless, it took approximately five years and $2 billion to complete. Maintenance costs are estimated to be about $4 million a year -- and that's just to retrieve floaters!

Hit the jump for several more pictures of the ridiculousness.

Continue Reading " World's Largest Pool: No, Not The Ocean "

Jun 25 2008 Oh Boy!: Spray On Prophylactic Coming Soon

We've all been there before: You finally bring a girl home from the bar, get her to the bedroom, and you're rounding 3rd base and trying to come home when...shit, out of condoms. So you grab a snack-sized Doritos bag off the nightstand, but before you can secure the thing to your member with a piece of electrical tape, the chick dives out a window.

Enter German inventor Jan Vinzenz Krause. Jan got super drunk at a party once and forgot to take his shoes off before passing out. He woke up with a huge penis drawn on his face and a crotchful of silly string. Putting two and two together, Jan soon invented spray-on latex condoms.

The spray-on condom prototype measures a man's size (really big, big, average, small, really small) and then covers his penis in liquid latex providing him with a proper fitting condom. A man places his penis in a chamber. He then presses a button and a pump squirts out liquid latex through some nozzles onto the man's penis in about 20 seconds. If 20 seconds seems like a long time to wait the good news is that the inventor is working on shortening the time to about 10 seconds.

Uh, Jan? 10 seconds is a long time and The Geekologie Writer isn't exactly known for his stamina. What he is known for is once trying to slow himself down by using an empty shampoo bottle for a condom. Now I'm "that Pert Plus guy".

Hit the jump for the uncensored picture and a video demonstration.

Continue Reading " Oh Boy!: Spray On Prophylactic Coming Soon "

Jun 25 2008 Knight Rider GPS Unit Is KITTastic, Functional

The Mio Knight Rider GPS unit is exactly what it sounds like -- a Knight Rider themed GPS unit. It has red blinking lights. Basically what you're paying for is the fact that Mio got William Daniels (the distinguished voice of KITT) to do all the audio work. You choose your name from a long list, and then the unit will address you as so, making you feel a little more Knight Rider-y and a little less Minivan Rider-y. The MSRP is around $270 and they hit streets in the fall. Now before you run out and buy one, be warned: a Knight Rider GPS unit will not get you laid, it will only get you to your destination.*

*Vaginaville and Poontown excluded.

Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of the unit in action, well, minus the part where the guy spends ten minutes going through the list of names and making it play them all.

Continue Reading " Knight Rider GPS Unit Is KITTastic, Functional "

Jun 25 2008 Little Kid Rollerskates Under Cars, Is Limber

I've been watching videos of kids rollerskating under cars for like ten years, so this may be old to many of you. But for those of you who haven't seen it, it'll be freaking nuts. It's a 6-year old Indian kid who sets records skating under cars while in the splits. When he gets down he's no more than 8-inches in total height. Hit the jump for a couple videos of the feat, it's amazing. Not as amazing as when I rollerskate under cars, but that's because I perform on the highway. Do I have a death wish? No. Am I nuts? Maybe. Do they drag on the pavement when I skate? Yes.

Hit it for the videos.

Continue Reading " Little Kid Rollerskates Under Cars, Is Limber "

Jun 25 2008 World's Deepest Pool Lacks A High Dive

The world's deepest swimming pool (108 feet) resides in Brussels, Belgium and serves as "multi-purpose diving instruction, recreational, and film production facility."

The pool itself consists of a submerged structure with flat platforms at various depth levels. The pool has two large flat-bottomed areas at depth levels of 5m (16 ft) and 10m (32 ft), and a large circular pit descending to a depth of 33m (108 ft). It is filled with 2,500,000 liters of non-chlorinated, highly filtered spring water maintained at 30°C (86°F) and contains several simulated underwater caves at the 10m depth level. There are numerous underwater windows that allow outside visitors to look into the pools at various depths.

While that's cool and all, where the hell is the high dive? You can't have a pool that deep and not have a high dive, it's blasphemous. I mean, WTF? Oh well, I'm still gonna sink my girlfriend's body in the deep end.

Hit the jump off for a bunch more pictures.

Continue Reading " World's Deepest Pool Lacks A High Dive "

Jun 25 2008 Wilbur Would Be Outraged: Pig Earbuds

Pig earbuds cost $12 and makes it look like a little dachshund/pig hybrid has burrowed through your head whenever you listen to music. I guess they're probably more for chicks. Or maybe guys that need a conversation starter. What the hell, I'll try anything twice.

Chick on the bus: "Hey, are those pig earbuds?"
Me: "HUH?"
Chick on the bus: "I SAID, ARE THOSE PIG EARBUDS?"
Me: "Hell yeah, you like 'em?"
Chick on the bus: "You look like a freaking idiot."
Me: "I am one!"

Pigbuds: 'cause your ears are purty too [engadget]
and
I Want Pig Ear Phones From Japan [rinkya]

Thanks Ray and Laurel, they're kind of growing on me now.

Jun 25 2008 Sky Ceilings: Like Sky Lights, But Depressing

Sky Ceilings are probably an old as hell idea. So old. Your mommy probably read you a news story about them when you were a child. Yet, here they are -- weird. Sky Ceilings were designed to mimic daylight and change with the time of day from sun up to sun down. They're for people like me that work in Cubeville and don't see the light of day unless they sneak up to the roof and contemplate jumping. Which I do frequently. The sidewalk just looks so appetizing from up here. Oh -- here comes The Superficial Writer, late as always and trying to sneak in the side door. *hooccckkkkkkkk*

Sky Ceilings make you feel like you're outside even when you're not [dvice]

Jun 25 2008 More Origami From Our Folder In Residence

Brian Chan is now Geekologie's official paper folder in residence And he's hard at work on original designs to showcase at his exhibition table at this weekend's Origami USA Convention in New York. He stayed up all night working on this WALL-E, and as you can see, he's looking good. If you want to get an idea of what to expect at the convention, just take a look at Brian's other amazing work here. Seriously, click that link, you won't be disappointed. I'm really digging all the beetles. Oh, and Fay Valentine from Cowboy Bebop. So, anybody else going to the convention this weekend? If I was in New York I would be. Unfortunately I'm not and I hate driving and flying. I only crawl -- bar crawl! You see, I'm an alcoholic.

Hit the jump for more of WALL-E and another link to Brian's origami page in case you haven't clicked it the first two times I've given it to you.

Continue Reading " More Origami From Our Folder In Residence "

Jun 25 2008 Rotating Skyscraper To Be Built In Dubai

A rotating skyscraper is slated to be built in, wait for it -- Dubai! The structure, designed by Italian architect David Fisher, has floors that can each rotate independently of one another. Allegedly the building will be powered entirely by wind and solar energy via outer solar panels and wind turbines between the floors. I'm curious to see how that works out. I'm also curious how you and your neighbors decide who gets the ocean view and when. I'm guessing it involves threats and/or a good amount of weapon brandishing. Condos are currently going for about $3,000 per square foot but don't bother calling to ask -- I already did and the bastards aren't selling 1' x 1's.

Hit the jump for a VIDEO including some computer animations of the buildng and an interview with the architect.

Continue Reading " Rotating Skyscraper To Be Built In Dubai "

Jun 24 2008 The 730-Ton Ball That Keeps The Taipei 101 Earthquake Tolerant Is Pretty Big, Heavy

The Taipei 101, once the world's tallest building, sits a paltry 600 feet from a fault line. So is the structure doomed? Nope -- it's rocking a uni-ball of steel.

To counteract the forces working against it, architects installed a $4 million, 730-ton tune massed damper, which is a big ball 18 feet in diameter, made of 41 steel plates, and suspended by strong cables 3 1/2-inches think. It's said to cut down on the swaying of the building by almost 40%.

Pretty cool stuff there. Anything that keeps buildings standing and people safe during an earthquake is A-okay in my book. Even if it is a 730-ton ball. Which, incidentally, explains why I've never taken a fall. *wink* Ladies?

Hit the jump for some more pictures, an animation of how the damper works, along with a video of the ball in action during the recent Chinese earthquake.

Continue Reading " The 730-Ton Ball That Keeps The Taipei 101 Earthquake Tolerant Is Pretty Big, Heavy "

Jun 24 2008 Melon-Powered Device Chargers Coming

So I'm making today Kinetic Energy Day on Geekologie. First the Dance Charger, and now the possibility of bra electitricity.

It turns out that the physics of breast motion have been studied closely for the last two decades by a gamut of researchers, most of them women with the exception of The Geekologie Writer. LaJean Lawson, a former professor of exercise science at Oregon State University, has studied breast motion since 1985 and now works as a consultant for companies like Nike to develop better sports bra designs.

Lawson explained that breasts move on three different axes: from side to side, front to back, and up and down. The most motion is generated on the vertical axis. Naturally, the bigger the breast, the more momentum it generates. "Let's face it--if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running," Lawson said. Measurements compiled by Lawson and her colleagues show that a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down (35 inches!) during exercise, while a B-cup in a high-support bra barely moves an inch.

ZOINKS! Honestly, I have no idea if boob-power is possible or not because I stopped reading the article there and started speculating with The Superficial Writer if there's a chick in the world with the melons to jump start a car. What can I say, we're scientists.

Victoria's Circuit - Harnessing the untapped power of breast motion [slate]

Thanks Chuck and Katlyn, I'll never look at knockers the same way again.

Jun 24 2008 I'm Buying: Man Auctions Off Entire Life (Including Pride And Dignity) On eBay

Ian Usher is a 44-year old Australian that's selling his entire life on eBay. No, you don't get to kill him, but you do get his house, car, motorcycle, hot tub, friends, job, grill, pictures, computer, underwear, pride, and self respect. The auction ends on Sunday and is already up to about $300,000. Ian is holding the auction after his 12-year relationship with some chick name Laura dissolved and left him broken-hearted. He's looking for a clean start and will begin his new life with nothing but the clothes on his back and the proceeds from the auction (he's hoping for around $500,000). When asked why the relation went sour, Ian replied, "She started kangarooing some other dude. She wanted to settle down and thought I was too impulsive -- the kind of guy that would sell his entire life on eBay." Boy, you sure showed her!

Hit the jump for a bunch of pictures of stuff included in the auction, along with a link to the auction, his blog explaining the situation, and a yahoo news article.

Continue Reading " I'm Buying: Man Auctions Off Entire Life (Including Pride And Dignity) On eBay "

Jun 24 2008 Fugly As Hell Jacket Has A Camera On The Back, Monitor On The Sleeve, But No Style

Paul Coudamy is a guy who has been beat up from behind one too many times. And, instead of just buying a pair of those rear-view spy glasses or rip-away underwear, he made a jacket. A denim one that looks awful and has a camera on the back and a monitor in the sleeve. That way Paul can sleep comfortably at night knowing that the next time he gets jumped or mugged, they definitely won't want his hideous freaking jacket.

Paul Coudamy's Hard-Wear jacket watches your back when no one else will [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who, like me, just wears a bike helmet everywhere. You know, the kind with the little mirrors.

Jun 24 2008 Phone Charger Powered By Dance, Ecstasy

The Dance Charge is a prototype phone charger that powers your phone by harnessing the kinetic energy of your dance moves. You just strap the thing to your arm, drop some ecstasy, and then let your eyes roll up in the back of your head while you flail around like an epileptic.

The device - which weighs 180grams and measures about the same size as a pack of cards - will be strapped to peoples arms and tested at Glastonbury Festival this week.

As the dancers moves their arms along to the music - a specially designed system of weights and magnets creates an electrical current which provides a top-up charge to a connected mobile phone.

The charger was developed by Orange UK and 'GotWind', a renewable energy company, and is being tested at the Glastonbury festival this week. But the device isn't just limited to harnessing dance energy. It also works if you swing your arms while you run or masturbate like a crazy person.

Dance powered phone charger for Glastonbury Festival [newslite]

Thanks to Charles and Damn Luddites, now lets go to a rave and make out with some chicks in the moonbounce

Jun 24 2008 Video: How To Play Guitar Hero On The DS

This is a video explaining how to play Guitar Hero: On Tour with the Nintendo DS. It ranks right up there with the Star Wars Dance Competition in things that are unbearable to watch. Seriously, I almost killed myself while watching it. I was just slipping my head through the noose when it ended. Don't believe me? I dare you to watch the whole 3:30 and then tell me with a straight face you didn't entertain cutting yourself. Because you did. You also entertained finding out where Mr. Eyeliner lives and cutting him. Go on, admit it.

Guitar Hero: On Tour promo video makes grown men cry [engadget]

Thanks for the warning Julian, but curiosity got the best of me

Jun 24 2008 Origami Iron Man Is Impressive, A Geekologie Reader's Own Design (Making It Even Better)

Brian Chan is a Geekologie reader than can fold paper like nobody's business. And here's a recent Iron Man creation of Brian's own design. "It is folded from a single uncut square of paper, and so is the mask." Hit the jump for a few more shots, including the mask and the paper templates that show you just how much folding was really involved (shit-tons). Good work, Brian. Say, I'm about to do a little paper folding of my own. Toilet paper that is -- I'm blogging from the can again! *flush*

Hit the jump for more images and a link to Brian's origami website, with lots more original designs (including tons of awesome bugs and animals).

Continue Reading " Origami Iron Man Is Impressive, A Geekologie Reader's Own Design (Making It Even Better) "

Jun 24 2008 FAKE: Uncontacted Amazon Tribe A Hoax

Remember the story about the previously-unknown Amazon tribe? Well it turns out it's not entirely true. The photographer that took the picture, José Carlos, has admitted that the tribe has, in fact, been known about since 1910. He created the hoax "in order to call attention to the dangers the logging industry may have on the group." No way, José. Now they're probably gonna log the hell out of that poor tribe just to spite you. What you did was wrong. That's like a highschool health teacher contracting STDs to show to the class. It does makes some kind of point, but you can't help but wonder if there was an easier way.

The Not-So-Lost Tribe [yahoobuzz]

Thanks Abraham, they got me too.

Jun 23 2008 Fire Footbag: Fiery Hackey Sack Surprisingly Not Endorsed By Your Local Fire Department

The Fire Footbag is pretty much a Hackey Sack made out of Kevlar that you douse with kerosene and then kick around until you've burnt the entire neighborhood down. They're similar to these magic balls (but more kickable), and cost $25.

THIS PRODUCT IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS USE EXTREME CAUTION!

This product is also extremely fun! You will need white gas, kerosene, or 'tiki torch fuel' to light this bag. Tiki torch fuel is does not burn as hot as most other fuels. Do not use gasoline! Use only a small amount and test it first! Overly soaked bags can be EXTREMELY dangerous since excess burning fuel can stick to clothing and/or skin. Keep your fuel source completely away (100 yards minimum) from your kicking area.

Now I'm all about kicking around a flaming turd, but come on -- 100 yard minimum distance from your fuel source? That's a freaking football field. I'm a pretty wild kicker, but I don't think anyone has accidentally womped the hackey that bad. Why not go the extra mile and include a "Do not play with the Fire Footbag in states that sell gasoline" warning. Oh, and it definitely needs a "Only one flaming sack at a time: under no circumstances should you play wearing loose-legged shorts."

Hit the jump for the VIDEO of a guy doing some pretty cool tricks and dropping the thing a bunch.

Continue Reading " Fire Footbag: Fiery Hackey Sack Surprisingly Not Endorsed By Your Local Fire Department "

Jun 23 2008 Bacon Floss, It's What's For Dinner Hygiene

Bacon floss is $4.95 bacon flavored dental floss. It cleans in between your teeth and leaves you with a nice bacon-y aftertaste. Brush with egg-flavored toothpaste and it's part of a well balanced breakfast. Honestly, I'd actually try some if I ever flossed, but I don't. You see, I took exceptional care of my teeth the whole of my life, never have a cavity, and still got kicked in the head by a mule and lost them all. Life's a bitch, folks -- just like my ex. Plus they both have the clap.

Goodbye Cinnamon, Hello Bacon Floss! [ohgizmo]

Jun 23 2008 Way To Desecrate My Favorite Characters: Star Wars Dance Competition At Disney

So apparently Disney has now started having "Star Wars Weekends" at Walt Disney World. What does this mean? Among other things, a Star Wars Character Dance Competition that made my blood boil. The video is over 5 minutes long, so what you want to do is let it load, and then watch a random ten seconds of the first 3 minutes, and then actually let it play at 3:11. This video has singlehandedly desecrated the memory of my favorite childhood characters. Kind of like that time at my Halloween party when I walked in on my girlfriend humping Optimus Prime. Suffice it to say I trashed all my Transformers and Uncle Jake isn't my favorite uncle anymore.

Star Wars Dance Off [uberreview]

Jun 23 2008 Cool: Take A Bath Under The Stars Without Exposing Yourself To The Elderly Neighbors

The Homestar Spa by SEGA Toys turns your bathroom into a planetarium whenever you're taking a bath. You just fill up the tub, strip down to your birthday suit (or a towel if you're a prude like the chick in the photos), and hop on in. Then, with a flick of its switch, the $70 unit instantly fills your bathroom with hundreds of trillions of millions of "stars". Not feeling stars tonight? No problem, flip the unit over and hit the switch again to fill the bottom of your tub with a, uh, bloody mess.

Sega's Homestar Spa: Planetarium edition [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who calls the model in the photos despite her obvious prudishness.

Jun 23 2008 MIT Students Make Solar Dish, Melt Steel

Students at MIT have developed a parabolic solar dish capable of melting steel. It consists of an array of 10 inch by 12 foot curved mirrors, and is a crucial step in the race to provide cleaner, cheaper energy.

The MIT team believes that their lightweight, inexpensive device holds the promise of revolutionizing the power industry and providing solar power to even remote regions.

The completed mirror focuses enough solar energy at its focal point to melt solid steel. The energy of typical sunlight is concentrated by a factor of 1,000. This was showcased during a demonstration, in which a team member held up a board, which instantly and violently combusted, when brought within range of the focal point.

By directing the dish at a more practical target -- water piped through black tubing -- steam can be flash created, offering instant means of producing energy or providing heating.

Awesome. I just built one myself, and I've got to say, it's pretty damn powerful. I just put a chair in front of it alongside a giant "FREE MAKEUP" sign, and now I'm waiting for my girlfriend to get home.

UPDATE: Success -- single again!

Hit the jump for a picture of the completed dish and a wooden beam catching fire.

Continue Reading " MIT Students Make Solar Dish, Melt Steel "

Jun 23 2008 Eye Candy: Video Games Invade Real World

This is the second installment of "video games in the real world" art here on Geekologie. The first was brought to us by Mike (aka Pixel Fantasy) on Flickr, but this set was done by DeviantArt user RETROnoob. These are noticeably more intricate than the first. There's a ton more eye candy after the jump, so make sure to hit it for some Street Fighter and Mario Kart action, along with a bunch of others. My only complaint is this: enough with the teasing already. If people are gonna keep make these pictures, I think it only fair that somebody actually tear a hole in the time-video game fabric and merge our two worlds. Damnit, sex with a Koopa Troopa is my God-given right.

Hit the jump for a ton more.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy: Video Games Invade Real World "

Jun 23 2008 Custom Aqua Teen Hunger Air Force Ones

I die a little inside every day that I don't post some custom painted shoes, so rest assured that if you don't like them, at least you're not suffering as much as I am. Oh, and you see what I did with the title there? I combined Aqua Teen Hunger Force with Air Force One, a popular Nike shoe. Sure this isn't a Nike, but Aqua Teen British Knights Force sounds stupid. Wait, no it doesn't. Anyway, this is a custom painted Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe made for someone's birthday.

Artist's Comments:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force from Adult Swim.
The left shoe for Mallery's birthday shoes.

(Kept laces off for better pictures.)

Haha, Mallery -- you only got one shoe for your birthday. Sucks to be you. Just like it sucked being me when I needed glasses and my dad only got me a monocle and an eyepatch.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe [deviantart]

Thanks Karla, I had almost forgotten I looked like a piratey Mr. Peanut growing up

Jun 23 2008 Robotic Snake Swims Underwater, Frightens The Hell Out Of Swimmers Everywhere

Well I hope everyone had a jolly summer solstice and danced around the maypole and burned a witch or whatever the hell people do these days, but I've got some bad news: robotic swimming snakes. Now I hate to ruin your Monday and have you all cowering under your desks for the rest of the day, but I feel it's my duty to let you know about these things, lest you be foolish enough to think swimming is still a safe activity. Which, officially, it no longer is. Now the first thing I always think when I hear bad news is, "Who can I blame for this?" In this case it's the Hirose Fukushima Lab in Japan.

"Why can snakes move ahead on without legs?" From this problem, we started research of snake biomechanisms, which resulted in the "Why can snakes move ahead on without legs?" From this problem, we started research of snake biomechanisms, which resulted in the development of "Snake Robots". Snake Robots have many possible applications, even though the structures are simple.

Okay that was kind of confusing, so I'll summarize: welcome to hell, folks. That's what it said. I am definitely never swimming again. I swear -- right when I was starting to get over Jaws.

Hit the jump for another robot the lab created that was designed to climb in your lap and crush your junk.

Continue Reading " Robotic Snake Swims Underwater, Frightens The Hell Out Of Swimmers Everywhere "