Jun 20 2008 Woman Died Watching TV In 1966, Found 42 Years Later, Probably Stunk In The Interim

A woman in Croatia died in 1966 while watching television in her apartment, and was just now discovered.

Hedviga Golik made herself a cup of tea and sat down to watch some television in her hometown of Zagreb, Croatia. Sadly, she died in her chair. This was in 1966. She was just found, 42 years later, in her time capsule mausoleum where she's been sitting ever since. She never finished her tea.

Apparently her apartment was never checked, despite a missing person report being filed when she went missing. Only recently did the authorities break into the unit and discover the woman while trying to determine who owned the place.

Damn, that's freaking nuts! I can't imagine how the place went unchecked for 42 years. It had to have stunk like shit for a good long while. Kind of like my place. Isn't that right, Grandma? Grandma? Awh, shit.

Woman Who Died While Watching TV Sat Unfound For 42 Years [gizmodo]

Thanks Shawn, say, you mind calling the funeral parlor?

Jun 20 2008 Video: Epic NERF Battle In Cubeville

I said give me a damn minute, I'm trying to post here.

This is a video made by what is probably the least productive company on the planet. It's a 5:00 epic NERF battle complete with horrible over-acting and, sadly, no nudity. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a scene from the offices here at Anticlown. We don't do NERF guns -- we use real thing. But The Superficial Writer still makes little pew pew noises when he fires and, more often than not, shoots himself.

Okay, now we can go to the hospital. But we're taking your car or the bus -- that's a lot of blood and I just got my shit detailed.

The Great Office War [ohgizmo]

Jun 20 2008 Here Grandma, I Got You A Pretty Snow Globe

Snow globes are glass spheres filled with little scenes and some plastic snow that whirls around when you shake the thing. These ones just happen to be filled with very unusual scenes. Like, well, a police officer putting a bullet in some dude's melon. There's a shit-ton more after the jump, which I suggest you peruse because I just spent like thirty hundred billion hour-years editing them and posting them for you. They were all made by artists Walter Martin and Paloma Munoz and are part of a limited edition of 250 pieces. Each goes for about $750.

These two artists have been working together since 1993. They sculpt miniature figures set in snowy outside scenes that depict sometimes horrible situations. Each snow globe tells a story and it's up to the viewer to fill in the blanks of those stories. Some of these miniature people seem trapped in a fairy-tale like story.

So what's the story behind the scene in that globe? My guess is an officer is practicing his close range shooting skills on the back of some guy's head while another copper watches and, quite possibly, gets aroused. Freaking classic, just like mom used to read me before bed.

Hit the jump for a ton more (men throwing kids down a well, gun toting grandmas, etc.) and feel free to fill in the stories if you want.

Continue Reading " Here Grandma, I Got You A Pretty Snow Globe "

Jun 20 2008 It's Official: There's Ice On Mars After All

This is a picture taken by the Phoenix Lander of water ice on Mars. Or, alternatively, some ice in a Hollywood backlot that somebody staged. Or, alternatively, Photoshopped ice. No but seriously, it's water ice on Mars.

The confirmation that water ice exists in the area directly surrounding the lander is big and good news for the Martian mission. NASA's stated goal for the Mars Phoenix was to find exactly this -- water ice -- and then analyze it. With the latest news, the first step is accomplished. All that's left now is to get the water into the Phoenix's instruments, a task which has occasionally proven more difficult than anticipated.

Now I know what many of you are thinking -- "So freaking what?" Well apparently you don't understand the profound implications of such a discovery -- we won't have to tote bagged ice up there to keep our drinks cold.

Mars Phoenix Tweets: "We Have ICE!" [wired]

Thanks to Lee, who is actually helping me throw a party on Mars that's gonna be freaking awesome. Martian chicks and a cooler full of desert juice -- who's coming with us?

Jun 20 2008 LEGO Star Wars Diorama Is Legit, 3,800 Pieces, $400, Now On My Birthday List

The $400 Death Star diorama from LEGO weighs in at a whopping 3,800 pieces and is making me hotter than a volcano. A volcano on fire. The thing depicts 14 scenes from the original Star Wars trilogy and comes with 21 mini-figs, including 7 exclusive to the set. Wow, what could be awesomer? I mean besides a LEGO Death Star big enough to live in. Because that's what I freaking want. Like my dad always says, "Dream big or don't bother sleeping. Oh, and son -- keep your buttcheeks clenched tight -- aliens."

Hit the jump for a picture of all the mini-figs and the entire product description.

Continue Reading " LEGO Star Wars Diorama Is Legit, 3,800 Pieces, $400, Now On My Birthday List "

Jun 20 2008 Blood Soap Is Cool, I Want Some In My Mouth

Clue brand Blood soap has red coloring added so it looks like you're cleaning blood off your hands whenever you go to wash them. It's an awesome idea and my mommy says I should wash my mouth out with rat poison because I use lots of dirty words. I want some, unfortunately I've got the feeling it isn't real. It should be though, because I'd buy some. Or, I dunno, just keep cutting myself.

Clue: Blood soap dispenser [make]

Thanks Shawn, now lets make this stuff in hand sanitizer form so we can take it anywhere.

Jun 20 2008 Realistic Niko Bellic From GTA4, And Stewie

Well it's been a little while since we've seen some sweet Pixeloo untoonage here on Geekologie. And since today is Friday and I'm already six dryer sheets to the wind, I figured now is as good a time as any to take light some romantic candles and take a milk bath. While not really a toon, this is a realistic rendering of what Niko Bellic might look like after he just cracked his knuckles and is preparing to "kill that ass mad dead." He looks good. Reminds me of myself. I'm handsome and rugged and wear turtlenecks. Seriously though Niko, you can see straight to my soul with that stare of yours, can't you? What does it look like? I always imagined it as a white hazy light that kind of pulsates. Just a giant turd, huh? Damn.

Hit the jump for the FRIDAY BONUS PICTURE of Stewie from Family Guy untooned. It's scary as hell!

Continue Reading " Realistic Niko Bellic From GTA4, And Stewie "

Jun 20 2008 Wow: Man Attempts Robbery With Palm Frond

Gelando Olivieri was a man with a plan. A plan of robbing V&F Discount Beverage on Voorhis Avenus in Deland, Florida with a palm frond sword and sandal shield. However the plan was foiled when a brave patron pushed Olivieri from the store with a little wooden stool. Gelando -- you're a freaking idiot. A palm frond? Really? Jesus, you could have at least used a rose bush.

Robber brandishes palm frond [cnn]

Thanks Isabel, I've never been less scared of a robber in my life

Jun 19 2008 Tasers Not As Safe As Previously Thought, 1/3 Of Victims Require Medical Attention

Who would have thought jolting a body with a shit-ton of electricity isn't super-safe? I know I'm shocked (!). According to a report compiled by CBS News and the Canadian Press, tasers are a lot more dangerous than previously though.

...about one-third of people shot by Tasers reportedly required some form of medical attention. Those numbers were drawn from the Taser-use forms that RCMP officers are required to fill out whenever they draw the device, which revealed that 910 of the 3,226 people shot between 2002 and 2007 had to go to a medical facility, and that "many more" people had minor injuries but never saw a doctor.

So yeah, I'm getting one of those tase-proof jackets as soon as they come out. I'll be damned if I get tased again. I got hit once and it was enough. Okay, if I got really drunk at a party and there was a girl I was trying to impress, maybe. But not in the balls. Eight months of Rogaine and still no hair.

Probe finds one-third of people shot by Tasers need medical attention [engadget]

Thanks Julian, and don't worry, I won't tase you bro

Jun 19 2008 Looking Good: LEGO WALL-E Is Cute As Hell

You know that Disney-Pixar movie coming out? Yeah, the one with the cute little robot that has sex with the future or something? Yeah, that one, WALL-E. Well Joe Meno, editor of Brickjournal magazine, made him out of LEGO. It looks good. Good and cute. Good and cute and schoolbus-y. Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, including one with a movie spoiler: the little f***er's a Nazi!

Oh, there's a link to a huge Flickr gallery too.

Continue Reading " Looking Good: LEGO WALL-E Is Cute As Hell "

Jun 19 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Altering Bacteria To Produce "Renewable Petroleum"

First the diesel tree, and now oil bacteria. Several companies in Silicon Valley are racing to produce bacteria capable of excreting oil (black gold, Texas tea).

What is most remarkable about what they are doing is that instead of trying to reengineer the global economy - as is required, for example, for the use of hydrogen fuel - they are trying to make a product that is interchangeable with oil. The company claims that this "Oil 2.0" will not only be renewable but also carbon negative - meaning that the carbon it emits will be less than that sucked from the atmosphere by the raw materials from which it is made.

Hey, I'm all for it. And as you can see from the picture there, it's a fairly simple process to raise the bacteria. It just takes is a couple of 16oz Coke bottles, an atomic bomb, and what is either a really fancy coffee maker or a hot-air popcorn popper. You attach all the components with some plastic tubing, add some electricity, and presto, the lab explodes.

Hit the link for a much more in-depth article.

Scientists find bugs that eat waste and excrete oil [timesonline]

Jun 19 2008 Robotic Band Actually Plays Pretty Well

While not as cute as the lovable little robot drummer, The Trons actually play with four part harmony...and feeling. The best thing about robotic bands is there's no chance of them turning into a bunch of strung out heroin addicts and nodding off on stage. Now I'm not saying I'd pay five dollars at the door, but I would sneak in the back and drink the band's beer while putting the moves on their robotic groupies. You ever touched a metal tit before? They're freakin' legit.

The Trons: self-playing robot band totally kills our self-esteem [engadget]

Thanks Ryan, I call dibs on the one with the bald head and that's leaking oil, you can have the rest.

Jun 19 2008 A Villain Chair For Plotting World Domination

The Villain Chair is made by SUCK UK and is perfect for planning world domination, but versatile enough to relax in and do the Sunday crossword. Made with genuine leather, chrome, steel and aluminum, the damn thing costs $7,200. Yeah, $7,200 and you don't even get to beat the shit out of it with a sledgehammer. Talk about a ripoff. While I do appreciate a good villain chair, I'll just stick to my bone throne for the time being. After all, you can't spell "world domination" without hot wings.

Villain Chair Product Page

Thanks Rachel, my tattered desk chair has never felt so inadequate

Jun 19 2008 Worst Ferrari Owner Ever

So some Ferrari owner in Brazil crashed his 2000 360 Modena into some other car. Then -- at a later date -- had to push it around town because it was out of gas. Not surprisingly, it turns out the dude hadn't been paying his taxes and fines for the car either. Which makes him the worst Ferrari owner ever. While most owners treat a Ferrari like their baby (one that wasn't an accident), this guy treats his like a redheaded stepchild.

A bunch more pictures of the damage, him pushing it through the streets, and a screenshot of the car's tax sheet after the jump. Anybody that wants to shed more light on the article feel free to, my Portuguese is limited (and I'm dumb as shit).

Continue Reading " Worst Ferrari Owner Ever "

Jun 19 2008 Japan Sees Significant Increase In The Popularity Of Adult Geriatric Films

Apparently business is booming for makers of geriatric boom-boom movies in Japan. Demand for such titles as "Grandparents Getting Down" and "Never Too Old To Bone" has nearly doubled in the past decade. TIME has a whole long article about it, but I thought I'd just include my favorite part, since it's quite possibly the awesomest thing I've ever read, ever.

Besides his glowing complexion, Shigeo Tokuda looks like any other 74-year-old man in Japan. Despite suffering a heart attack three years ago, the lifelong salaryman now feels healthier, and lives happily with his wife and a daughter in downtown Tokyo. He is, of course, more physically active than most retirees, but that's because he's kept his part-time job -- as a porn star.

Shigeo Tokuda is, in fact, his screen name -- he prefers not to disclose his real name because, he insists, his wife and daughter have no idea that he has appeared in about 350 films over the past 14 years.

Dude, you've got your face plastered all over porno boxes (that's him in the picture). How the hell could they not know? The article even says your character has become his own brand. Surely someone has told them. I mean, you're a very distinguished gentleman, and that pipe is a dead give-away. Seriously though, you're my new hero. I wish my wife and family didn't know what I do for a living. They're embarrassed as hell.

Japan's Booming Sex Niche: Elder Porn [time] (nice long article if you're interested)

Thanks Alex and Allyson, but I don't know if I can forgive you

Jun 19 2008 OLD: Even The Ancient Romans Played D & D

An ancient Roman gaming die went up for auction at Christie's recently. Per the description:

A ROMAN GLASS GAMING DIE

Circa 2nd Century A.D.
Deep blue-green in color, the large twenty-sided die incised with a distinct symbol on each of its faces
2 1/16 in. (5.2 cm.) wide

Several polyhedra in various materials with similar symbols are known from the Roman period. Modern scholarship has not yet established the game for which these dice were used.

Stupid modern scholars. I mean really. They were playing D & D you f***wits. Gary Gygax had a time machine, yo.

Auction Page

Thanks Kristina, lets get together and play D20 Yahtzee sometime

Jun 18 2008 Must Have!: Big Lebowski Action Figures

It's about freaking time -- someone is finally releasing some quality Big Lebowski action figures. For $25 you can score The Dude, complete with accessories.

Don't miss The Dude-- Unemployed! You'll flip for our Action Figure of The Dude from The Big Lebowski. Dressed in his bathrobe and slippers, he stands 8-inches tall and comes with loads of hilarious accessories: sunglasses, robe, White Russian, milk carton, ID card, and genuine cloth rug! Achieve your desires by buying this character today!

They're releasing other figures too, including Walter and another version of the Dude (see picture after the jump), Donny, and The Stranger (the narrator in the movie, not when you sit on your hand till it goes numb). If you're attending the July 23- 27 San Diego Comic-Con you can pick The Dude up at that time, otherwise they won't be shipping till August/September. I need one. Somebody, anybody, please abide.

Tony the Chauffeur: So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."
The Dude: F***in' A, man. I got a rash, man.

Hit the jump for a picture of Walter and another version of The Dude.

Continue Reading " Must Have!: Big Lebowski Action Figures "

Jun 18 2008 Wow: Radiohead's Nude Played On Old Computer Parts Is Really Freaking Good

The Imperial March on a floppy disk is still cool and all, but this video takes the concept to a whole new level. It's Radiohead's Nude being played on all kinds of computer parts. It was made by James Houston, a student from the Glasgow School of Art's visual communication program. And not only is the music amazing well created, but the video is legit as well. The instruments are as follows:

Sinclair ZX Spectrum - Guitars (rhythm & lead)
Epson LX-81 Dot Matrix Printer - Drums
HP Scanjet 3c - Bass Guitar
Hard Drive array - Act as a collection of bad speakers - Vocals & FX

Let it load and then skip to a little after 1:00 for it to get started. Otherwise you have to listen to a minute of static and watch some flashing color bands that may or may not be trying to hypnotize you. They only gave me a boner though. I love static. And flashing colors? Don't even get me started. *shivers*

Big Ideas (don't get any) [vimeo]

Thanks Michael Jackson, but stay the f*** away from my kids

Jun 18 2008 Play 1,000's Of Nintendo Games In Firefox

Well with the drop of Firefox 3 yesterday I've been getting all kinds of tips about the program. And this is one of the awesomest: FireNes. It's a Firefox widget that allows you to play 1,000's of NES and other oldschool games at work through Firefox. It takes just a few seconds to download, then you just click on Tools, FireNes in your Firefox browser. All the games appear in a sidebar and you're good to go. That's a shot of me Blaster Mastering it up just a few minutes ago. Seriously, TPS reports or classic gaming? Exactly. Whoa, did you just see that? What was it? HA! -- it was productivity. It just took a flying freaking leap out the window.

FireNes Download (translated from Spanish)
via
play any nes game for free in firefox with firenes [technabob]

Thanks Beezy, I hope you're rockin' it out just like the good ol' days

Jun 18 2008 Gaming Station Looks Like Torture Device

The Ergonomic Workstation from Ergo Motions looks freaking ridiculous and may or may not come with some of those little toothpick-y things to keep your eyes pried open. I mean this thing is even wacker than most of the other ridiculous workstations we've seen here. It was designed to "help gamers...avoid the repetitive stress injuries and posture issues that often result" from sitting in a dark room surrounded by empty Pringles and Mountain Dew cans. Not totally sure why it needs to lean back like that, but if I had to guess it's for a more realistic flight and/or looking up a woman's dress simulators. The mutant dental chair is currently in prototype phase, so we'll have to wait to find out if it'll ever see the light of day. And, if it's anything like my World of Warcraft addicted roommate, it won't.

Hit the jump for a full list of specs if you're really curious.

Continue Reading " Gaming Station Looks Like Torture Device "

Jun 18 2008 Scientists Discover 'Super-Earths' 42-Light Years Away, Regular Earth Gets Depressed

So scientists have discovered what they're dubbing "super-Earths" circling a star 42-light years away. That's an artist's depiction of what they might look like if they were identical in appearance to earth and weren't actually pink with purple polka-dots like I know they are. Three have been identified so far, and they were detected not by sight, but by the effects they have on the star they orbit.

Using a new tool to study more than 100 stars once thought to be devoid of planets, the Swiss-French team found that about one-third had planets that are only slightly bigger than Earth.

That's how the star with three super-Earths, 42 light-years away, was spotted. The European team took a second look with a relatively new instrument that measures tiny changes in light wave lengths and is so sensitive that it is precisely positioned and locked in a special room below the observatory in Chile. And the key is kept in Switzerland, scientists say.

So, you're probably still wondering what the hell a super-Earth is, aren't you? Well you're in luck, because I'm a scientist and I just happen to know. Super-Earths are planets similar to Earth, but have gained super powers -- like the ability to see through another planet's shirt and ogle its mountains.

Astronomers find 'super Earths' circling a star [yahoonews]

Thanks and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! to loyal Geekologie operative Altaire

Jun 18 2008 Gnar Wars: A Star Wars Snowboarding Video

Gnar Wars is a Star Wars themed snowboarding video. It features lightsaber battles, Boba Fett getting his dome piece chopped off, and even some wily Jawa bastards. It's worth a view. But not the repeated viewing that my Star Wars themed sports video deserves. It's called Par Wars , and it's golf themed! It mostly consists of a buddy and I waving around 7-iron urinesabers and trying to douse each other with the contents. We're a class act. The must see finale even features the destruction of the Death Bar (the name we gave the clubhouse bar after they refused to serve us anymore). We flew an X-Wing Fighter (golf cart) straight through that bitch and shot proton torpedoes (golf balls) at the main reactor (bartender). KA-BOOM!

Star Wars Snowboarding [/film]

Thanks Shawn, now if you'll excuse me I'm off to shred some gnarly pow-pow (that's code for do drugs).

Jun 18 2008 Send Me Free Ones: Nintendo Wall Decals

These are wicked Nintendo wall graphics made by a company called Blik. They're licensed and everything, so rest assured that Nintendo will get their piece of that ass should you decide to buy some. As seen in the photos, they come in Super Mario Bros., Donkey Kong, and New Super Mario Bros. themes, and are all completely awesome (and a good size). Unfortunately, each 24-42 sticker set costs $75 and it takes multiple sets to make a really cool scene. Hit the jump for more ideas of what you can do and what appears to be a highly inappropriate silhouette of two schoolgirls making out. You know, for size comparison.

I'm serious, hit the jump.

Continue Reading " Send Me Free Ones: Nintendo Wall Decals "

Jun 18 2008 Imperial March Played On A Floppy Disk

This is a video of the Star Wars Imperial March played on a 3 1/2" disk (the 5 1/4" floppy's rigid little sister). It's just as awesome as you thought it would be. Unless you thought it wouldn't be awesome, in which case you're wrong. Just like I was when we were playing along with Jeopardy at the bar last night. Seriously, never wager your left nut on a Daily Double.

Two more videos after the jump -- a flatbed scanner playing Fur Elise, and one playing Ode to Joy.

Continue Reading " Imperial March Played On A Floppy Disk "

Jun 17 2008 Robotic Girlfriend For Lonely Men Seems Highly Questionable, Lowly Statured

E.M.A. (Eternal Maiden Actualization, seriously?) is a 15-inch Japanese robot developed by SEGA to keep lonely men company and help combat loneliness and depression. She'll cost about $175 and hits the streets (like a hooker!) in September.

Using her infrared sensors and battery power, the diminutive damsel named "EMA" puckers up for nearby human heads, entering what designers call its "love mode."

She's very lovable and though she's not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend."

EMA, which stands for Eternal Maiden Actualization, can also hand out business cards, sing and dance, with Sega hoping to sell 10,000 in the first year.

Ah yes, the 15-inch robotic girlfriend. Listen, a girlfriend made out of plastic and metal, no matter how much you inflate her, just isn't a real girlfriend. Even if she comes with vibration modes and "life-like" parts, it's just not the same. Trust me. And this little robot is no different. Although, for the sake of science, I will suspend disappointment and give her a go.

UPDATE: Cleanup in aisle The Bed! Little bits of plastic everywhere. That robot is a freak in the sack! Highly recommended. SEGA, I'm gonna need a replacement. And, well, another Dreamcast. The robot broke before I was finished and I wanted to keep the experience all SEGA.

Japan makes robot girlfriend for lonely men [msnbc]

Thanks Matt and Ro, I've never been more scared of a little robotic woman before.

Jun 17 2008 F1RST! Shirt Lets People Know Things

The F1RST! shirt from Busted Tees costs $15 and let's everyone know you're one of those people. You know, the kind that wears printed novelty shirts. And likes posting FIRST in blog comments sections. AND that you have some fundamental understanding of where babies come from (storks, yo). Hey, whatever floats your boat. I think the FIRST! thing is a little sophomoric myself, but as long as you read Geekologie, you're still okay in my book. Just please, don't do it on this post.

A picture of a chick wearing the shirt (which makes it look a lot better than that dude), after the jump.

Continue Reading " F1RST! Shirt Lets People Know Things "

Jun 17 2008 Chinese Firm Builds Identified Flying Object

Harbin Smart Special Aerocraft, a Chinese company, has built a prototype flying saucer. It took the company over 12 years and $4 million to make the thing, and that's not a picture of it. That's some art exhibit by Japanese artist Mariko Mori. It just happens to be the picture that came with the story since the flying saucer is still top secret or something. 4 feet in diameter, the propeller-powered flying dish can fly to over 1,000 meters, take off and land vertically, and go about 50MPH. The unmanned object can be programmed to fly a predetermined path or remotely controlled from allegedly great distances and was designed "for aerial photography, geological surveys, and emergency lighting." Alternatively, it could be used to play pranks on this poor dork.

Chinese company develops 'UFO': report [breitbart]

Thanks Mark and Melissa, you two want to go thirdies in on one?

Jun 17 2008 Tornado Picture Taken By A Crazy Woman

When I see a tornado I think, "holy shit, I'm gonna die and I haven't even seen a real-life boob", definitely not, "let me grab the camera and snap a couple shots." Well last tuesday, Lori Mehmen of Orchard Iowa did just that, and this is the result. Not sure if she was planning on documenting her trip to Oz or if she just had a death wish, but either way she ended up with an amazing shot. Thankfully, no one was injured in this particular tornado except some green hag that had a house fall on her. Yeah, and when nobody was looking I ganked her shoes. Later suckers! "There's no place like the strip club, there's no place like the strip club..."

UPDATE: So it turns out this isn't a tornado after all. It's just a "very picturesqe supercell with a pronounced low hanging meso". HA! -- "pronounced low hanging mesos". I've got a pair of those.

Why You Should Carry a Digital Camera At All Times [gizmodo]

Thanks Melissa, you want to help me lift this house? I want to check the body for jewelry.

Jun 17 2008 Gag Pens Help Prevent Unwanted Theft

Tired of co-workers *ahem, Superficial Writer, Iwatchstuff Writer* borrowing your analog writing instruments, only to never see them again? Well the Borrow My Pen? set ($7) aims to alleviate the problem of pen theft. Each features a fictional place of business along with a catchy phrase designed to prevent people from wanting to keep them. Stuff like Van Nuys Center For Cosmetic Surgery, "Specializing in Difficult Gender Reassignments". Clever, but not clever enough. I've got the feeling I'd still get pens stolen with these. That's why I had Sharpie make a set with my own clever phrases. Stuff like: The Geekologie Writer, "If You Can Read This You've Stolen My Pen And I'm About To F***ing Stab You With It" and Center For Infectious Disease, "Free Pen For New STD's".

A Pen That Will Always Be Returned [ohgizmo]

Jun 17 2008 Sand Vader Isn't The Worst Thing I've Seen

This is a picture of Darth Vader in sand sculpture form (aka Sand Vader). It's not bad if you squint your eyes and shake your head so you can't tell it's way out of proportion and Vader has creepy bug-eyes. Personally, I would have gone with a Jawa Sandcrawler and a bunch of those little freaks running around. Yeah -- and a giant Princess Leia. But what do I know? I've only won the Interplanetary Sand Sculpture Competition six years running. I know what the judges like. And let me tell you, a Princess Leia sand-boob would have gone a long way.

Hit the jump for several more sculptures, including a Rockbiter (Sandmuncher) from The Neverending Story (I cry just thinking about Artax drowning in the Swamp of Sadness), the Simpsons (Sandsons), and the Silver (Sand)Surfer.

Continue Reading " Sand Vader Isn't The Worst Thing I've Seen "

Jun 17 2008 These Animal Hairdos Are Turning Me On

Yow yow! There are few things sexier in the world than animal hairdos or eating steak off a naked woman's back while watching Sportscenter. Just look at these things -- hot, hot, hot! Especially the two I put together for that picture, because it looks like the two women are about to go at it, and the animals as well. So not only are you getting a sexy cat fight, but you're getting an erotic dingo/rhino battle to boot. Damn, my glasses are fogging up. And not just because I poured hot coffee in my face, although that probably contributed. So ladies, first one to get an animal hairdo wins a date with yours truly, The Geekologie Writer. Get the hair down there (beaver!) done too and I'll marry you.

Hit the jump for a whole bunch more animal hair awesomeness.

Continue Reading " These Animal Hairdos Are Turning Me On "

Jun 17 2008 How Not To Spend $150K: An Italian-Themed Home Theater In Some Dude's Basement

I'm as big a fan of themed home theater setups as the next guy who watches movies on a hand-me-down 24" CRT that rests atop a magazine pile entertainment stand. And we've certainly seen a good many bunch of a whole lot of different ones here on Geekologie. Hell, even some that didn't even have a theme, but were just plain ridiculous. However this Italian village themed home theater isn't doing it for me. Like I really want to watch movies right next to the Gastronomiche (which, based on the picture, sells home theater components alongside plastic meat and cheese).

While I'm not really digging the theater, hit the jump for the "Bourbon Street Room" he has in the basement as well. I admittedly wouldn't mind seeing some boobs in there. The whole house is over 15,000 square feet and the damn ceiling in his basement looks like it's 20 feet tall (and I thought my crawlspace has never felt more inadequate). Oh yeah, and there's another disturbing picture of what appears to be the world's gaudiest sex-room I've ever seen in my life. God this dude is making me so sick I could spit. Here I am, stuck watching a television manufactured before I was born while this dude gallivants around blowing $150,000 on a shitty home theater system. That's it, I'm selling a kidney. *sharpening letter opener* "Oooh Superficial Writer..."

Continue Reading " How Not To Spend $150K: An Italian-Themed Home Theater In Some Dude's Basement "

Jun 16 2008 A Lilypad For The Flood-Induced Apocalypse

The Lilypad Floating Ecopolis for Climate Refugees is a giant floating city that people can live on when the world floods because Al Gore was right. It looks weird but I reserved a spot anyways because I'll be damned if I live in a flooded house. Unless fish promised to swim around my legs while I watch TV, in which I'd consider it. Similar in concept to the Freedom Ship, this mammoth floater would likely cater to the rich. The architectures behind the design believe we'll need these things by 2100 because half of the world will have disappeared underwater. Or maybe just a third will be flooded, I forgot what they said. Maybe just my bathtub. The most unbelievable part about the whole thing? That they had the gall to include marine life in the picture! HA -- like they'll be anything alive in the oceans by 2100. I know, pretty depressing. Seriously though, I have to have sex with a mermaid before they're extinct.

Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures (including one in which they intentionally made a city look like it's burning even though they're just supposed to be the lights from cars and buildings), along with a link to the project page with a bunch more info.

Continue Reading " A Lilypad For The Flood-Induced Apocalypse "

Jun 16 2008 World's Most Luxurious Cubicle Looks Like Absolute Crap, Cube Designer Clearly Lacks Theology And Geometry, Good Taste, Hair

I can say whatever I want about the hairless because I'm balder than the U.S. national bird (hint: despite Franklin's penchant for 101 proof bourbon, it's not the turkey). This is allegedly the world's most luxurious office cubicle, designed and built for himself by Jared Nielsen. That's him in the picture. As you can see he's big pimping. If big pimping means you're a monster dork with a competitive shit-eating grin on your face. Did I mention his desk clashes with the stain of the walls and floor? Because it does. I swear, no taste. Screw cubicles anyways, I disassembled mine and built a blanket fortress in its place. I call it Castle Geekskull, and it's impenetrable. BRING IT SUPERFICIAL WRITER! *firing staples* PEW PEW PEW! Holy shit, where'd you get the trebuchet?

The world's most luxurious office cubicle [dvice]

Jun 16 2008 Epic Failures: How Not To Drive A Tank

Tank Driving 101

Don't drive your tank off a cliff. Don't drive your tank too deep in a bog. Keep your treads on at all times. Don't try to mount another tank from behind unless you've taken it out for dinner and bought it a few drinks. Don't try to stunt-drive your tank on a single tread. And last but not least -- never, ever, ever pose for a picture with the tank you just f***ed up.

And while I'm not saying I could drive a tank any better than these guys, it'd be pretty hard not to.

A nice big gallery of tank mishaps (and a few planes for the hell of it) after the jump.

Continue Reading " Epic Failures: How Not To Drive A Tank "

Jun 16 2008 Wii Fit Balance Board Hack Uses Movement To Explore Google Earth, World Of Warcraft

Tired of only playing Wii Fit on the balance board? Want to use it for something else? Well look no further.

A couple of guys from DFKI (the German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence) took a Balance Board and connected it to a regular old laptop PC. A custom C# application communicates with the controller via Bluetooth, translating simple leaning movements on the board into 3D moves on the computer.

There's a video after the jump showing how they use the board to navigate Google Earth and World Of Warcraft. But if you can't watch videos at work the picture above gives you a pretty good idea of what it looks like: some geek humping an imaginary woman from behind.

Hit the jump for the demo video, and the slightly NSFW video of a chick playing the Wii Fit hula-hoop game in her underwear in case you've been Bin Ladening it up in a cave for the past month and haven't seen it yet. Note: Try your best to ignore the idiotic pantstain that's filming it, he's one ugly bastard.

Continue Reading " Wii Fit Balance Board Hack Uses Movement To Explore Google Earth, World Of Warcraft "

Jun 16 2008 Graffitified AT-AT Up On The Auction Block

Remember that awesomely awesome decrepit looking AT-AT that won some model contest? Yeah, that thing was awesome. And you might think this one is too depending on how you feel about an AT-AT that's had the hell tagged out of it.

Suckadelic

Graff-At, 2002

Customized Hasbro Star Wars vehicle customized by professional Graffiti artists EASE and JK5 under the direction of SUCKADELIC. All tags are written in the Aurebesh language, a fictional letter system created for the in-world use for the 6 Star Wars films. The largest tag on the side of the vehicle spells the word REBEL. 16x18in.

The auction is expected to fetch between $1,500 and $2,000 but I have no idea what the bidding starts at. But if I had to guess I'd say right around Hoth. Get it? Because that's where the big AT-AT fight scene is in The Empire Strikes Back. Now laugh or the tauntaun gets it.

Christie's Auction Page

Thanks Chatham, let's outbid whoever wants it really bad and then break it in front of them

Jun 16 2008 Totally Safe: Guy Builds His Own Coaster

John Ivers is a man with a dream. A dream of building a roller coaster in his backyard. And he did it, using nothing but scrap metal, his welding skills, and "the seat of his pants". This leads me to believe John has balls of at least quartz (a 7 on Mohs hardness scale). The coaster features a 360 degree loop and is ridden on what appears to be a 1986 Toyota Camry car seat attached to a lawnmower frame. Way to go John, that thing looks like a lot of fun. Well, as long as dying on a homemade coaster in the middle of bumf*** is still considered a good time.

Homemade roller coaster looks incredibly dangerous [dvice]

Jun 16 2008 WTF?: Sudoku Addicts Ruin Drug Trial

A drug trial in Australia that's been going on for over three months and already cost taxpayers near $1 million has been halted as a result of jurors playing sudoku puzzles instead of paying attention.

Sydney District Court Judge Peter Zahra cancelled the trial of two men on drugs conspiracy charges after the jury foreperson admitted that four to five jurors had been playing the addictive number sequence game, local media reported.

One juror said the game helped them to pay more attention by keeping their mind busy.

"Some of the evidence is rather drawn out and I find it difficult to maintain my attention the whole time," the juror was quoted saying by the Australian Associated Press.

HA! Seriously, I have the attention span of a goldfish so I can completely understand where that person is coming from. But you can't just go sudokuing it up during a damn trail. That's what the DS and PSP are for.

Sudoku addicts halt drugs trial [yahoonews]

Thanks to Ray, who knows that crossword puzzles are where it's at anyways.

Jun 16 2008 Knife Injects Compressed Gas Into Stabee

The best I can tell the WASP Knife has nothing to do with white Protestants. Nope, it has to do with stabbing something and then releasing 24g of compressed gas into the wound and exploding their organs (VIDEO demo after the jump).

Since World War II, the military has seen much of its soldiers equipment go through many radical changes and technological advances. The knife has gone unchanged until now. Our soldiers deserve the most advanced equipment that is available to them. A simple knife is okay, but when it comes down to the last line of defense, you want something that will get the job done. Introducing the WASP Injection Knife. This easy-to-use, easy-to-reload weapon delivers up to a 24g shot of compressed gas at 800 PSI on land or underwater.

What the? I read on some message board that it was useful if you're attacked by a shark, as the compressed gas would screw with its ability to remain at depth and swim correctly. But besides that it just sounds like a dangerous freaking knife. The company's website is currently down claiming they are "in negotiations to sell it strictly on the non-civilian market" so I don't know if this website selling them for $389 is legit or not. Regardless, that knife scares the hell out of me. Almost as much as my freshman roommate in college did. I'd hear a strange noise at night and flip the light on to find he'd been sharpening a knife in the dark. And that, my friends, is when I started dating an ugly chick to sleep in her room.

Worthwhile VIDEO of the thing being demonstrated, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Knife Injects Compressed Gas Into Stabee "