May 23 2008Wack: Yamaha's New Motorcycle Concept
When you think of motorcycles what's the first thing that comes to mind? Exactly, that they should be wearable. Well finally designer Jake Loniak has created the Yamaha Deus Ex Machina (Latin for Ass Machine). The bike is "an electric, single passenger, vertically parking, wearable motorcycle, and the bike would theoretically be controlled via 36 pneumatic muscles and 2 linear actuators." The thing would allegedly be capable of hitting 0-60 MPH in three seconds and 60-0 in the side of a bus. Anybody else think Jake modeled this thing after those scary-ass Wheelers in Return To Oz? I bet he did. And speaking of scary things in movies -- what do you call a kid that cries and pees himself in the theater because his dad took him to an R-rated horror flick when he was 7? A giant pussy and no son of mine! Get it? Because that's what my dad said before he emptied my Skittles onto the floor and made me walk home.
A couple more pictures and a video of the Wheelers after the jump, in case you didn't know what the hell I was talking about.
Yamaha wearable motorcycle concept will likely remain just that [engadget]
Thanks Dr. Venkman, now lets go bust some freaking ghosts.
Reader Comments
1. captainj - May 23, 2008 3:32 PM
well thats certainly creepy
2. haha - May 23, 2008 3:36 PM
looks like a good movie to make a little kid crap his pants.
3. it's me! it's me! Don't shoot! - May 23, 2008 3:44 PM
Looks like he's peddling a unicycle with his feet, and the two freaking huge wheel-thingys are like a dumb-ass blind guy's training wheels.
4. jab - May 23, 2008 3:50 PM
LOL at "Exactly, that they should be wearable."
How the hell do you stop abruptly in this thing? Oh, you die, I get it.
And thank you for that frightening, awesome youtube.
5. ƒ Sharp - May 23, 2008 4:01 PM
OMG, you're write up is HILLARIOUS! Laughing out loud to be sure! I hope you're sponsors are paying you plenty because this is one of my favorite, most entertaining sites. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh!
6. ƒ Sharp - May 23, 2008 4:03 PM
[Ugh! Typ-o shame... make that "your" not "you're" — hey I'm just not a morning person.]
7. sluggerknuckles - May 23, 2008 4:16 PM
fairuza balk at her finest. i love that movie.
8. caljenna66 - May 23, 2008 5:29 PM
My spit-take covered computer and I thank you for the "what do you call..." joke. I'm gonna be laughing at that for the rest of the day...
9. TetterkeT - May 23, 2008 5:43 PM
Wheelers. Wow. I thought I was the only retard who ever watched Return To Oz.
10. Dnalel - May 23, 2008 11:42 PM
I don't know...they look cool.
It also looks like the wheels on the side can rotate at the shoulder.
You know what that means: wall riding.
11. groonk - May 25, 2008 4:20 AM
i could only bother with that if it had a sleek-fast mode. wherein the driver forward wheels flatten so that the driver is now in the superman position half a foot above the ground with a top speed of 200 mph.
now we're talking Danger Boy status.
12. Og - May 25, 2008 10:12 PM
And just exactly what does a rock-chip to the nads feel like?
13. guate6 - May 26, 2008 3:50 PM
Interesting concept for a bike, glad the writer is back to writing the same ol' usual humor-filled articles. I hadn't seen Return to Oz in a long time, but yeah I agree that they look like those things in a way. Ah the good ol' days.
14. Bre - May 27, 2008 5:28 AM
Dude, Return to Oz... I used to watch that all the time as a little kid. Funny, I never realized quite how demented and messed up it was until just now. I mean, you've got the wheelers, the insane asylum... What the heck kind of children's movie is that supposed to be? No wonder I'm so messed up now...
15. Peregrinus - May 27, 2008 7:52 AM
This is cool, but if someone motorized one of Jean Yves Blondeau's Buggy Rolling suits
http://www.geekologie.com/2007/08/buggy_rollin_suit_vs_motorcycl.php
it would be much cooler. This cool in fact, but uphill.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWLbu1wIIEo
16. Jumpin_J - May 27, 2008 11:20 AM
What's with the big silver thing in the middle of the rider? Guess that's where you carve the Mercedes bling. Aww yeah, that's big pimpin.
17. bla bla - May 27, 2008 12:22 PM
how the hell is theat a motercycle??!!!!!!!!
18. espres2o - January 20, 2009 1:15 PM
The concept of a wearable personal transport system is not new. See the provided url displaying the iPOT (individual portable transport) system or EXORIDE. The system is worn like a backpack, is absed on differential steering with automatic stability control and folds/unfolds automatically. The concept was first put foward in 2007 and is currently patent pending. Of course, this one looks much cooler and would be way faster.
The iPOT was designed as back-pack ride in urban areas for transportation between MTS access points and where things like the heavy SEGWAY are not practical.
Send me an e-mail if you like some cool pictures of the EXORIDE V.1
Cheers
Carsten
19. Aaron - February 21, 2009 11:52 PM
wow i'm not gonna lie it might look weird but i'd buy that just because how often do u see ppl driving something like that around? one question tho. has there been any prices announced or anything??
20. Erik - April 6, 2009 10:44 AM
There was an article in the September 2008 issue of PopSci all about this design. It was created by a child. This design is extremely unwieldy due to its size, weight and the fact that it is made of fictional components that don't actually exist yet. All of the pictures are simply that, not visual representations of anything more than an idea. I am not surprised that Yamaha, a company long known for making motorcycles and high school band instruments and equipment, would endorse such a primitve and ill-conceived attempt to manifest this design.
By the way, this design came out of the Art Center Pasadena. I don't know about any of you, but I can't wait to strap myself into a vehicle designed by an artist. Leave engineering to the engineers, guys. Draw some more pretty pictures.
And "Deus Ex Machina" is Latin for "God from a Machine", not ass-machine, although the comment certainly allows the author to showcase an impressive vocabulary.
#11: yeah, it does that. thats the idea.
#18: this is nothing like the exoride. at all.
21. TsarKazmThe99 - April 15, 2009 1:37 AM
WTF!
I think that this "machine" would be more suited in a sci-fi movie that a horror film.
22. Bwahahahahahaha - April 22, 2009 10:46 PM
Right...
So next time I'm trapped in an alley by thugs, and I see a tiny hole in the wall, I can use the key that little gnome gave me, after I did several unmentionable acts of...ahem...fellatio, and be saved.
Nice.
23. TheCorrector - June 26, 2009 8:34 AM
#20. - From what I understand Art Center is a Design college and the foremost in the world. Also this concept was based on existing technology according to PopSci.
Those wheelers are creepy shit though.