May 9 2008Sure, Why Not?: Dissolving Bodies With Lye

lye-for-bodies.jpg

Well it's not news that lye has been used in the past to dissolve bodies. But now it's being considered as a possible alternative to burying, being shot out of a cannon, and cremation by the funeral industry.

The process is called alkaline hydrolysis and was developed in this country 16 years ago to get rid of animal carcasses. It uses lye, 300-degree heat and 60 pounds of pressure per square inch to destroy bodies in big stainless-steel cylinders that are similar to pressure cookers.

The resulting brown, syrupy residue can then be flushed down the drain, or, if you're a real sicko, applied to waffles with a little butter. However the procedure does not come without its opponents.

"We believe this process, which enables a portion of human remains to be flushed down a drain, to be undignified," said Patrick McGee, a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Manchester.

Hrrm, interesting. So how do you want to go? Personally, I want to go out sticking it to two supermodels. I couldn't care less what they do with my body after that. Just stuff me in a pizza box and throw it out with the trash.

New idea in mortuary science: Dissolving bodies with lye [newsvine]

Thanks Melissa, I hope you live a long, happy life

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Reader Comments

"Breakfast kids! Grandpa's ready!

This was on the cover of the most recent issue of Mob Murder Monthly.

I still remember throwing Palmetto bugs (giant cockroaches(YUCK!) into a molten 500*C chemical slurry. Believe it or not they would kick and struggle even after half their bodies were dissolved.

Cockroaches are my only fear if you hadn't guessed.....Oh, and Amy Winehouse. So, Cockroaches and Amy Winehouse are my only fears.....and Fondant (see cake story). So, Cockroaches, Amy Winehouse and Fondant. I almost forgot......

@3 You're going to love my cockroach-with-amy-winehouse's-head cake made out of fondant

"The users include veterinary schools, universities, pharmaceutical companies and the U.S. government."

Why would the U.S. Government need to dispose of human bodies ....Oh yeah that....

I'm afraid that the bodies will become volatile, then rain back to earth and the dead will walk the earth!!!

I has happened before*

*Not really

Good...so not that the food source for the human batteries (a la The Matrix) has been worked out we can get back to the robots making robots part.

Why would they go to all this trouble? If we're having space issues pertaining to burying bodies, why not just continue to cremate. Hell, when I die, that's how I want to be disposed of, like vikings and jedi.

Catholic morons need to STFU about everything. The church of the high holy kid raper has NO moral authority on this planet. Period.
"Waaah we don't like it waaaah!" Um, who cares? The only thing they're worried about is a loss of profits and control over people.

or an enviro-friendly burial where they just wrap you in a burlap potato sack and throw you into a ditch, then there would be no space issue because you reuse the same ditch over and over again. i'm not sure what's worse, this or being embalmed... ick.

Yaaaay! Waffles!

Yes, how horrible of the Church to say that something is undignified. Those rat bastards...

Peace by with you.
But not with you.
Lift up your hearts...except for you.
*rings bells*

Here, have a Cruton o' Christ and shush.

Sirup for your soylent green wafer anyone?

It's "I couldn't care less." If you "could care less" then you must care to some degree.

i wouldnt mind being flushed down the toilet since i flush most of my body weight down the toilet daily. i always wanted to go down there anyway, and see the dark, scary sewer passages fraught with alligators and mutant tidy bowl men with super powers bestowed upon them from being bathed in the shit and piss of humanity for decades. so yeah bust out the lye and let's get this party started!

Along this line, when I have a particularly huge dump, I like to say to my friends, "I just shit out a can of spray cheese." It always cracks them up. By the way, we're in college, on the Dean's list, get good grades and get pussy all the time.

Racists *can* be smart.

The More You Know...®

Taxchurches and Smokinggirl: good news, there's geekologie in hell! see you here soon. oh, and bring ring-dings, we're a bit short down here, and i do love chocolate and whipped cream.

Oh, and bring change for a dollar, the damn soda machine is broken again.

When did Hell get internet? Last time I was there, you still had floppy disks. Strike some sort of deal with Microsoft, Satan? How dood...

Here's the change for the dollar. Now go away before I throw a Mary statue in your general direction.

P.S. My post was being sarcastic to TaxChurches...I'm happily Catholic. Now bugger off while I happily drink my wine.

what about the bodies in my trunk???

we could make the resulting brown goo green & then make them into tastey little soilent wafers

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