Readers: I Have A Birthday Coming Up And There's A Jet Bike For Sale On eBay (Hint)
I've been emailing my Congressman forever requesting he make jet engines required safety equipment on all vehicles, but does he listen to the pleas of common citizens? Noooo. So now I have to buy a blackmarket rocket bike from a potential scam artist on eBay in order to procure a safe damn bike. And here it is. Built by "the world's top pulsejet engine designer and builder" Robert Maddox, the engine puts out 50-60 pounds of thrust and is capable of speeding the bike up to approximately 75 MPH. Sounds good right? Well it's not bad, but even such a paltry engines come with warnings.
JET ENGINES ARE DANGEROUS!! BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK THIS ENGINES RUNS AT 140 DECIBELS AND GLOWS RED-COOL!!
Glows red-cool. I like that, I'm gonna start using it. Anyway, you readers get together and buy this for me for my birthday. Because if you don't, well, it'll be the third year in a row I didn't get anything. Well, that's not entirely true -- last year the dog left me a little present on the bed. Whee, shit on the bed, happy birthday to me! The sad part is that I actually appreciated the gesture.
A couple more pictures (including a pretty sweet looking jet-kart) and a video of the bike in action, after the jump. And, just for the hell of it, I added a funny video of a kid on a firework powered skateboard (watch the whole video).
eBay Auction
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Jet-powered bike is not safe [dvice]
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I didn't even know these things were called penny-farthings. I thought they were called those goofy-ass looking bicycles with one monster-giant wheel and one little bitch one. Of course, that's understandable given my natural Shakespearean tendencies and way with worlds. Wor... / Continue →
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The Beer Bike was designed and created by Hopworks Urban Brewing of Portland, Oregon, and features two kegs and taps, plus a hot pizza storage unit. Impressive, but I can't even imagine pedaling two full kegs of beer around. I mean, those bitches are heavy. Sure, I've dated ... / Continue →
