May 13 2008'Marry Our Daughter' Website Is Wrong (But I Proposed To The Cheapest One Anyways)
Marry Our Daughter is a website where parents post their daughters and ask for proposals. There's a short paragraph explaining the girl, and then the cost of marriage. Prices typically range from $20,000-$50,000 but I found a couple runts going for less than $8,000. I'm pretty sure the site is a joke. I was going to propose to a $5,995 14-year old to test it out before I realized I don't want to burn in hell or have some pedo-taskforce bust down the door. So yeah, we'll just assume it's fake. Read a testimonial:
Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn't very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We've told our youngest that when she turns 15 we're going to marry her off too!
Okay, bad example. The other ones though, totally made up. That one was actually believable. Trust me -- my parents once traded me to a mechanic for a tire rotation and piña colada scented air freshener.
Thanks to "Knowing my mom, I'm probably already on there" Alexis
Reader Comments
1. Keiko - May 13, 2008 9:59 AM
That's genius.
Good thing I'm finally legal, I'm sure my parents would have bartered for way less than a tire rotation and pina colada scented air freshener.
Fuck you parents!
2. The Superficial Writer - May 13, 2008 10:03 AM
Umm... I'm going to need you to lend me some money.
3. Scott - May 13, 2008 10:14 AM
I wonder what these guys are trying to do? I imagine they are hoping to use this a some sort of interweb joke to get on Oprah....Ahhh, Oprah....I'd do just about anything to meet Oprah! Maybe they are just trying to rip off rednecks. Anyway, it's not difficult to see that the same person wrote every description.
I saw a documentary on the WV coal miners and those guys marry young teenage girls all the time. Unfortunately 99.9% of them look like they've been hit in the face with a bag of nickels. The best part was when the workers were striking. The mine owners say that breathing coal dust doesn't cause black lung. This did not set well with the miners as they chain smoked 3 packs of unfiltered camels a day.
4. Bethesdian - May 13, 2008 10:28 AM
Looks like a Sting Operation or a site for Creepers to stalk prey...either way not good
5. Alex Zalben - May 13, 2008 10:33 AM
It's a joke! Sort of... Basically trying to bring to light various state's marrying laws. More info here:
http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/09/11/please-dont-marry-our-daughters/
6. crazygut - May 13, 2008 10:34 AM
that cant be real....look at the testimonials.. it all seems tongue and cheek.. "moving out of the trailer park was the best thing"?? thats funny...
7. damn luddites - May 13, 2008 11:08 AM
not real? :( I was all set to get me a wife.
8. Web Critic - May 13, 2008 11:17 AM
All of the photos were uploaded 15-Nov-2007 at 3:15am (no clue what timezone). So the site has been around for 6 months now. There are some un-blurred photos in this dir: http://www.marryourdaughter.com/images/stories/daughters/
9. Julian - May 13, 2008 11:58 AM
Thanks for ruining my Tuesday Keiko. I was just on marryourdaughter looking for you and your parents actually put you on there. you're very beautiful but they claims you are a 12 year old japanese girl who always wears a japanese school uniform. Great. And I was prepared to offer a tire iron and a month's subscription to Entertainment Weekly. I guess since you're legal I'll offer you that and a limited edition Indiana Jones Snickers bar.
10. Snickers Whore - May 13, 2008 12:02 PM
Julian,
Ii'll trad e you my virginlity for that Snickers. The indiana jones edition has coconut. YUUUM ME.
11. Julian - May 13, 2008 12:06 PM
Snickers Whore,
sounds like a deal . . . do you still want the Entertainment Weekly subscription? I could get like 10 more snickers for that money. I don't want to get into too much vulger detail but I hear that snickers also make great "relationship enhancers . . . for the rectum" . . . I'm just trying to keep it romantic.
12. Snickers Whooa - May 13, 2008 12:10 PM
Julian,
i sould have been more specific. i the virginity i'm offering is in fact my rear. my other hole has long since been rag tagged and put up wet. Its like a circus tent. i mean i have a foreign exchange family living in there.
13. SmokingGirl - May 13, 2008 12:14 PM
How ridiculous.
14. Julian - May 13, 2008 12:15 PM
Snickers Whore,
I see, its very giving of you to rent out your vajayjay a foreign exchange family. I hope you did a background check to make sure you're not harboring terrorists in there. Your pudding factory virginity will have to do though i do hope you keep everything well maintained there, my ex GF's looked like a burly bearded trucker's throat smoking hole.
15. Scott - May 13, 2008 12:36 PM
SG, I guess we were pretty tame by comparison, huh?
16. jc - May 13, 2008 12:49 PM
dude. that's super old news. and it's fake.
17. Julian - May 13, 2008 12:56 PM
scott,
we're not that bad, all I'm talking about is pillaging Snicker whore's mud slide with a king size Indiana Jones snicker's bar. hopefully i won't disturb the foreign exchange family on the other side of the wall.
18. SmokingGirl - May 13, 2008 12:59 PM
You and I are regular fuddie-duddies, Scott. Which frankly, is a good thing.
Now let's fall asleep together while watching 'Ghost Hunters'. And I'll be behind you on the couch; I'm kinky like that. *snore*
19. Elit Alice - May 13, 2008 3:14 PM
is it real at all?? surely it CANT be can it??? O_O
20. pickle - May 13, 2008 5:34 PM
rednecks don't buy other people's children, they just fuck their own.
21. Beowulf - May 14, 2008 11:19 AM
Just change the "id" of any page in the URL box - nice fun tester stuff there. And a lame PC joke;
http://www.marryourdaughter.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3
Anyone who can't guess this as being a joke fails.
22. ? - July 1, 2008 9:46 PM
Mormon People??? What???