May 14 2008Man Grows Old Right Before Your Eyes
Wow, I really need to ramp up my efforts to live a more stress free life. I don't wanna end up like this guy, who, in the span of three years, went from a young dapper lad to an old diaper clad. Apparently he's a Japanese news reporter that let the stress of the job get the best of him. Listen, I've got a piece of advice for those of you out there that feel like you may be headed down the same path. Hookers. They help you live a happy, stress (but not necessarily VD) free life. I'd still frequent them if I didn't get wrapped up in this whole "marriage" thing. It's seriously killing me, and I've only been hitched for two years. It started with gradual hair loss, then a strange rash. Next came a chest pain, and now I can't hear (over the sound of my wife's blathering piehole). Oh no -- oh no. Hold on a sec. "Hey, wait, please don't go -- I need you. PLEASE. No, not them too. Come on, maybe tonight'll be the night. No I haven't been saying that for two years! Come back, I beg you!" *sobbing* Well folks, it's official -- my proverbial sausage has packed his metaphorical meatballs and left. Life as I know it, is over. I might as well become a leper.
Reader Comments
1. Vincent Kersting - May 14, 2008 3:06 PM
Awesome.
2. Brianna - May 14, 2008 3:08 PM
jesus, stress? really? maybe he has some sort of aging disease, or picked the wrong grail!
3. N - May 14, 2008 3:12 PM
OLD!!!!!
4. Momboelitist - May 14, 2008 3:14 PM
Maybe he purposely donned the old Dude look to garner more respect as a journalist?
Of course I went thru this and then just 2 years after dumping my Ex I've actually grown younger again. No wonder married guys die so young.
5. Jason - May 14, 2008 3:46 PM
To be fair, I think he really just went gray and that's about it. If you look really close, it's only the first one that looks very different than the other shots - and I think they just had more make-up caked on him.
Or maybe he's just a big George Clooney fan?
6. crazygut - May 14, 2008 4:15 PM
FAKE!!
maybe he was grey all ready and stopped dying his hair... how is this related to technology???
7. Momboelitist - May 14, 2008 4:24 PM
If it isn't my old friend crazynut! I really missed your "FAKES!".
Oh, I changed my name by the way but I'm sure you know me.
8. Snoop1990 - May 14, 2008 4:31 PM
Just guess how this guy look like today.
9. pickle - May 14, 2008 5:04 PM
i think it's time to throw this guy to the fucking sharks - he's done.
10. Freddy K - May 14, 2008 5:22 PM
So whats wrong with having grey hair? I swear when I go grey I'm gonna get all sorts of poon tang. won't be able to keep them away. At least thats what I tell myself.
Maybe I should just dye my hair grey now? Who's with me? no one? Okay fine, but when I'm neck deep in the ladies you all will be sorry.
11. Brianna - May 14, 2008 5:40 PM
I guess even aging can't stop this man's love for blue ties
12. andy cochrane - May 14, 2008 5:51 PM
Oh man, time to work less hours... This is scarier than it is awesome, on a personal level, as a workaholic.
13. crackface - May 14, 2008 5:52 PM
He probably just has AIDS, nothing too bad.
14. SmokingGirl - May 14, 2008 6:26 PM
!!!!!!!!!!
There, I just felt like exclAmation points were necessary to show off my complete and utter doucheness that has long been Alluded to.
Poor guy, by the way.
15. Brett - May 14, 2008 6:32 PM
I was in Japan 9/2006 thru 8/2007, and I would see this guy on TV everyday. I don't remember him looking like that when I left
16. tmhs - May 14, 2008 8:38 PM
I would say that he's really looked like that the whole time but you couldn't tell until the broadcast was in HD and then he went gray.
17. buzz_clik - May 14, 2008 8:55 PM
#2 - Picked the wrong grail? You = awesome.
18. pride of chucky - May 15, 2008 12:02 AM
My base is in Osaka, Japan and I've watched this newscaster...
Surprisingly, it got even worse.
Here he was by 11/07:
http://images.townnews.com/nctimes.com/content/articles/2007/11/05/backpage/11_4_0712_18_31.jpg
19. Karl Pilkington - May 15, 2008 3:55 AM
Not surprising really. They don't age well do they..
20. mimang - May 15, 2008 5:44 AM
he looks so miserable. this really cracks me up! sorry...
21. boredom - May 15, 2008 8:18 AM
maybe it's just the blue ties sucking the life out of him, someone buy this man a different color tie.
Oh and I sent this to my boss and left work imediately. Boss wasn't happy especially when I told him he's starting the same trend but then he left work too.
22. Momboelitist - May 15, 2008 10:44 AM
I hear he speaks some weird language too? How the hell can Joe All-American understand him with that jibberish?
What? Japan..ese? What the Frig are you talking about?
Excuse me whilst I open a can of whoop ass on this voice in my head.
23. JohnnyIrish - May 15, 2008 11:41 AM
Funny, I thought it said:
..Life as I know it, is over. I might as well become a larper.
24. Pilky - May 16, 2008 8:00 AM
Finally some evidence, In the words of Karl Pilkington...
"The Chineese don't age well! They age overnight, like a pear."