May 5 2008Chainsaw Tongue Thingy Is Completely Wrong
This is one for the ladies. It's a female pleasuring device made from a chainsaw with fake tongues instead of blades. And even though it looks incredibly dangerous it'll still probably put my company (Mustache Rides, Inc.) out of business. It was made by a U.S. based pron company that specializes in making very wrong things like this (whose website you should definitely not go to at work). Oh, and please nobody send this link to my girlfriend.
UPDATE: Okay, who did it? I make one simple request and somebody immediately goes and sends the link to my ladyfriend. I thought we were cool. Now she called and broke up with me, citing "irreconcilable differences between you and a vajayjay licking chainsaw". Thanks a lot, whoever you are.
An uncensored pic of the thing (which has a sticker on it that says F#@$ing Machines and has a lewd graphic), and a NSFW link to Wired (you can find a link to the company that made the machine on that page but I'm warning you, it burnt my retinas out) with even more completely unacceptable sex thingies that are perverting the world's youth.
NSFW Gallery: Blu-Ray Porn, Mechanized Masturbation and Upskirts at Japan's First Sex Show [wired]
Thanks Judy, I hold you partially responsibly for my break up as well since you brought the device to my attention.
Reader Comments
1. damn luddites - May 5, 2008 11:05 AM
way to stay on top of the news. it's only 7 months old
2. ... - May 5, 2008 11:16 AM
Yah this is really old... This machine is not available for retail use, and is used by the site fuckingmachines.com...
They made and appearance on the howard stern show and gave an excellent performance which left baba booy with an eye full of girl luv juice.. he freak'd out on how he needed 2 go 2 the hospital cuz it might get infuckt'd...
Was quite hillarious... but yah, definately uber uber old news...
3. JB - May 5, 2008 11:57 AM
Hey, be nice to the Geekology blogger. Perhaps this is old news - but only for people who make it a point to keep up on such things by watching wildly uninteresting crap like the Howard Stearn Show.
4. litter - May 5, 2008 12:05 PM
Everything is new on the internet after 6 months.
5. SmokingGirl - May 5, 2008 12:36 PM
Ummmmmmm, yea, no thank you. I'll stick with men and their non-machine abilities; especially since no man's tongue will go flying off resulting in my vagina being torn to shreds.
Thank you, men, for being the fleshy love "machines" that you are.
I'm going to go drink coffee in the kitchen for a minute and try to forget this image with a shot of Bailey's.
6. jane - May 5, 2008 5:59 PM
eh, i'll try anything once, and more times if it's worth it.
7. diddleysquat - May 5, 2008 8:24 PM
pointing out that something is old and you've seen it before is so old.
8. Gnoe - May 5, 2008 9:20 PM
i was thinking the same thing #3 JB (we're sharing initials here!). People that already knew about this satanic thing of sexy pleasure need to back down from being interested in this stuff. Considering itslevel of sickness I was somewhat relieved to still be amazed at the sight of it.
PS knowing something's old makes you even older than the old thing. I myself however am 'brand new' -I was born 3min ago-so su
9. Dytari - May 6, 2008 2:29 AM
Umm this is actually centeries old. the first is on display at the sex toy museum in Prague, and someone had to pedel it.
10. hojo - May 6, 2008 10:38 AM
"...and someone had to pedel it."
I guess there's still a use for men after all. :-)
11. Lynz - May 7, 2008 7:20 PM
Haha I saw this today on the machine site mentioned. Weeeeird shit.