May 15 2008Awesomest News Story Ever Is So Awesome
This is the awesomest news story ever, and it all started when Ralph Hardy, a 13-year old, ordered another credit card from his dad's existing account. Then he and his friends went on a $30,000 shopping spree and ordered some hookers to a hotel room where they were playing Halo on Xbox.
Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.
Oh my fucking goodness kids are getting so smart these days. What a great lie!
The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services. They told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.
Awh man, they got them there and then bailed out? At 13 I could've definitely hit pause for two minutes (give or take a minute and a half) to bang a hooker.
But sadly, this all happened because of a father that forgot his son's birthday.
Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.
Oh yeah, the ol' forgotten birthday and promised trip to Disneyland. Been there. Ralph was actually smart just sneaking a credit card in his dad's name. I'm still waiting for my fucking trip.
UPDATE: Story may be a hoax. If that's the case I'm gonna help my little brother make it a reality.
13 Year Old Steals Dad's Credit Card to Buy Hookers [money.co.uk]
Thanks Aaron, I'll let you know just as soon as my dad's new card gets here
Reader Comments
1. none - May 15, 2008 5:03 PM
that's hillarious! "Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament."
oh those silly little Ralph Wiggom's!
2. jamie k - May 15, 2008 5:05 PM
$30K? what else did they buy? maybe they needed 28 more hookers because everyone knows 2 hookers don't really make for a "gathering" according to Magic...
3. Amy - May 15, 2008 5:25 PM
And people ask me why I think society shouldn't look down on beating the shit out of little kids. Here's your sign.
4. Wilson - May 15, 2008 6:00 PM
I gotta ask: Do they know if the hookers beat down those kids at halo?
it says his aspirations are to become a politician....your well on your way kid!!
5. SmokingGirl - May 15, 2008 6:05 PM
Here, here for beating children on a regular basis. I remember my mother whacking me a few times with a wooden spoon...and I NEVER did whatever I had done again after getting smacked with a wooden spoon. Those things hurt, man (and it's especially embarassing to get a whacking when you're 14).
And now that I have a hellion of my own, I've upgraded from wooden spoon to silicon. They've got some snap to them...
So no, this isn't the most awesome story ever; it's just proof that parents aren't parenting anymore.
6. Nmaximus - May 15, 2008 6:26 PM
And the cat's in the craddle and the silverspoon...
7. 4rt - May 15, 2008 6:51 PM
i love that bit about people with restricted growth.... xD they should get some sorrt of award just for that....
8. Cherrie - May 15, 2008 7:16 PM
Could you imagine being that kid's dad? It'd be hard to punish that shit. But if those kids went to all of that trouble to order the hookers...then sat around and simply played video games...yeah...they're gonna grow up playing WoW...maybe even some D&D lol...
9. Blammy - May 15, 2008 7:26 PM
This is a tough one, it is an awesome story about the kid being creative but he does he need a little more than slap on the wrist for this from his parents. My GF and I were just talking how we would listen to our parents because we were afraid of consequences and so many today are just not afraid of shit as kids.
10. Mysterious M - May 15, 2008 8:41 PM
I was so amazed by the awesome-ness of this story that i forgot to tell you about it.
I immediately blocked my childhood upon hearing this story because it was so sooooo boring in comparison.
11. momboelitist - May 15, 2008 8:54 PM
If I had two $1,000 hookers in a hotel room at 13, you can bet I wouldn't be playing Halo. Something tells me Ralphie might just be one of them fancy boys.
Furthermore, I am all for Corporal Klinger punishment! Hmm, maybe that's why Ralph doesn't like the ladies......
On a lighter note, I still remember the hole I put in the wall after my dad threw me at it.....Don't ever hide your fathers whiskey from him when he's on a bender, a little tip for the youngsters out there.
12. Cyberwulf - May 15, 2008 10:34 PM
aah, good times.. anyways, these kids deserve my admiration, but I will not give it to them. Fuck, I wish I had thought of that when I was that age... Now I have to settle for the cheap preggo hookers noone wants.
13. FakedChicks - May 15, 2008 10:45 PM
its been confirmed as a FAKE story. and apparently the kids could be facing fraud charges. sorry fellas.
14. anyone - May 16, 2008 12:50 AM
You're fooling no one, Geekolgie guy!!
Anybody knows it's YOU wearing the pink boots on the photo!
Shame on you.
15. Ghostface - May 16, 2008 1:10 AM
Fake story is fake!
16. miles - May 16, 2008 10:53 AM
also jumping on the "THIS IS FAKE LOLOL" bandwagon...
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4549574a4560.html
17. Momboelitist - May 16, 2008 11:07 AM
FAAAAAKE!
Oh, too late? I just figured if I yelled loud enough....err, ok, nevermind.
18. none - May 16, 2008 11:41 AM
hey #13... "its been confirmed as a FAKE story. and apparently the kids could be facing fraud charges. sorry fellas."
so, if it's fake, then who the hell is facing charges, and for what? seriously, if it's a made up story, then there's no fraud charges to be laid on a person that doesn't exist, since, like the story, he too is made up..
19. Momboelitist - May 16, 2008 12:26 PM
@18, Dude, you are the friggin king of.....this particular subject blog...um, ok then.
Hey, I tried.....
20. FakedChicks - May 16, 2008 1:38 PM
@18, indeed you are correct, i read the report wrong. the fraud charges were if the story were real. i was thinking that some kids made up the story and were facing fraud charges for the hoax.
21. Jeezy - May 16, 2008 4:28 PM
Worst fake story ever. There are so many holes in this story, I can't believe anyone actually thought it was real.