May 23 2008 Telectroscope Connects New York & London
The Telectroscope was built by artist/inventor Paul St. George and connects New York and London via a massive tunnel you can look through and see out the other end.
"The Telectroscope started off as a totally unintentional hoax in the 1870s," explains St George, who is the leading expert on this forgotten backwater of Victorian technology. "It came about through an error. A French editor misread a report about the invention of a thing called the Electroscope - which is all to do with static electricity - and called it a Telectroscope. He also misinterpreted its purpose. "The fascinating thing is that his misunderstanding of what it did - to communicate face to face over a vast distance - really caught fire.
Needless to say there is no such massive tunnel. The end portals were just made to look like they're heading through the earth. In actuality, they're connected via "fiber optic cabling, and an HD camera and projector on either end provide live streaming video. But who really cares, you can still look in one end of this device in New York and see out the other in London. You'll find one end next to the Brooklyn Bridge, and the other across the pond, next to Tower Bridge."
I've got to admit, it's a pretty neat art piece. I could get my girlfriend to stand on one end in England and show me her boobs, and then I could stand on the New York end with all my friends and make fun of how small they are.
So yeah, HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EVERYONE! Have fun and be safe. But not too safe (the firework war is still a go).
A couple more pictures of the thing after the jump.
Continue Reading " Telectroscope Connects New York & London "
May 23 2008 Awesomeness!: Weezer's New Music Video Features A Bunch Of Youtube All-Stars!
Weezer's "Pork and Beans" music video is freaking awesome. It's got a bunch of Youtube stars in it that they got together to shoot the video. Just watch it. Like right now, at work. Crank the volume up, break the knob off, and sing along like a freaking maniac (extra points if you take your shirt off or whip your thing out). When your boss comes knocking tell him The Geekologie Writer told you to do it and that if he wants to contact me he's gonna have to use the email tip line. I don't need that asshole calling and interrupting Drunkfest: Memorial Day Weekend Edition.
Thanks James, that video made my day, come over and we'll grill out and drink beers
May 23 2008 Wack: Yamaha's New Motorcycle Concept
When you think of motorcycles what's the first thing that comes to mind? Exactly, that they should be wearable. Well finally designer Jake Loniak has created the Yamaha Deus Ex Machina (Latin for Ass Machine). The bike is "an electric, single passenger, vertically parking, wearable motorcycle, and the bike would theoretically be controlled via 36 pneumatic muscles and 2 linear actuators." The thing would allegedly be capable of hitting 0-60 MPH in three seconds and 60-0 in the side of a bus. Anybody else think Jake modeled this thing after those scary-ass Wheelers in Return To Oz? I bet he did. And speaking of scary things in movies -- what do you call a kid that cries and pees himself in the theater because his dad took him to an R-rated horror flick when he was 7? A giant pussy and no son of mine! Get it? Because that's what my dad said before he emptied my Skittles onto the floor and made me walk home.
A couple more pictures and a video of the Wheelers after the jump, in case you didn't know what the hell I was talking about.
May 23 2008 First Person Perspective: R/C Car Comes With Camera And Dorky Looking Goggles
The VTS (Vision Tracking System) R/C car is probably the awesomest R/C vehicle I've seen in a long time (flying lawnmower excluded). The car has an onboard camera attached, which relays real-time video to your goggles so you can race with a first person perspective. Not only that, the camera moves around according to your head movements! Holy shit I want one. Unfortunately each setup (including controller, etc.) will cost you over $1,100. And then you'd have to convince a buddy to dish out the same so you can actually race. Which would be fun as hell, especially since you'll be wearing a pair of goofy-ass goggles and waving your head around like Ray Charles (see video). The goggles do lend themselves to one of my secret racing tactics though -- taking yours off and kicking your opponent in the nuts.
Another picture and a worthwhile VIDEO after the jump, but a heads up -- they set it to a song about some guy whose dog got hit by a truck and wife left him because he loves NASCAR more than her (read: country).
Continue Reading " First Person Perspective: R/C Car Comes With Camera And Dorky Looking Goggles "
May 23 2008 Flame - Allegedly The World's Most Advanced Walking Robot With A Blue Flame For A Head
"Flame" is the name of a walking robot designed and built by TU Delft PhD student Daan Hobbelen.
By mimicking the way that humans actually fall forward when walking, this robot comes insanely close to the real thing. Usually, walking robots are energy-hungry propositions, but this is the first that's both efficient and stable. Inside Flame are seven motors and a balance "organ" loaded with stability algorithms. By measuring each step, the robot adjusts stance width, speed, and gait on the go.
There's a video of Flame going for a stroll after the jump, and I've got to admit -- he's definitely better at walking than the guy beside him.
Hit it for the very short video.
May 23 2008 My New Favorite Website: Knicker Pickers
Knicker Pickers is my new favorite website. It's a virtual dressing room for intimate wear (read: bras and panties!). I posted a picture of a sportswear selection there, but that's only because I was looking for the most SFW screencap I could find. I've been perusing the site for several months, and can remember when they only had three models. Well now they have five and the site is better than ever! You just pick whatever delicates you want the model to wear, and then you can make her turn around, come closer, come closer and then turn around, and walk away. It's awesome. I mean I'd never buy anything from the freaking site, but that hasn't stopped me from seeing every outfit. Even my girlfriend likes it. And by "likes it" I mean she makes me tell her how imperfect the girls look and how beautiful she is. The same thing she used to do at strip clubs until I started leaving her in the car. Now I know what you feminists are thinking, and yes, I leave a window cracked if I'm parked in the sun.
Knicker Pickers Dressing Room (probably NSFW seeing how it's a bunch of chicks walking around in thongs)
May 23 2008 Let Your Coworkers Know You're Cool: Retro Gaming Cufflinks And Other Jewelry On Etsy
Seller pixelparty is selling a bunch of sweet-ass retro gaming jewelry on Etsy. The pieces featured in the picture are cufflinks, but they've also got earrings, pins and bracelets (including a Ganon pin I'm going to buy and burn -- I hate that bastard). Cufflinks are $16 and earrings are $10. Check out a bunch more pictures after the jump and then buy something and wear it to your next job interview. After all, nothing says, "I'll spend the entire day commenting on Geekologie and playing a Nintendo emulator" better than a pair of Goomba cufflinks. Well, besides the t-shirts I'm selling that actually say that.
Hit the jump for the rest and a link to the seller's site.
May 23 2008 Rolling Boombox Confuses, Befuddles Me
When I think boombox I think of an oldschool ghetto blaster you carry on your shoulder that eats D batteries like my girlfriend eats pies and cakes. I definitely don't think of any wheels. Are people getting too weak to carry boomboxes? I just don't get it. This thing looks like a pushable Segway. Which might just be the most brilliant invention I've ever heard of.
A couple more pictures after the jump, including one of a guy that is definitely in the running to win "Asshat of Memorial Day Weekend".
May 22 2008 Readers: I Have A Birthday Coming Up And There's A Jet Bike For Sale On eBay (Hint)
I've been emailing my Congressman forever requesting he make jet engines required safety equipment on all vehicles, but does he listen to the pleas of common citizens? Noooo. So now I have to buy a blackmarket rocket bike from a potential scam artist on eBay in order to procure a safe damn bike. And here it is. Built by "the world's top pulsejet engine designer and builder" Robert Maddox, the engine puts out 50-60 pounds of thrust and is capable of speeding the bike up to approximately 75 MPH. Sounds good right? Well it's not bad, but even such a paltry engines come with warnings.
JET ENGINES ARE DANGEROUS!! BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK THIS ENGINES RUNS AT 140 DECIBELS AND GLOWS RED-COOL!!
Glows red-cool. I like that, I'm gonna start using it. Anyway, you readers get together and buy this for me for my birthday. Because if you don't, well, it'll be the third year in a row I didn't get anything. Well, that's not entirely true -- last year the dog left me a little present on the bed. Whee, shit on the bed, happy birthday to me! The sad part is that I actually appreciated the gesture.
A couple more pictures (including a pretty sweet looking jet-kart) and a video of the bike in action, after the jump. And, just for the hell of it, I added a funny video of a kid on a firework powered skateboard (watch the whole video).
May 22 2008 OLED Phone Will Stick Out Of Your Pocket
That is one looong phone. It certainly brings new meaning to the phrase "long distance calling" doesn't it? No, it doesn't, and that didn't make any freaking sense. If you thought it did you should see someone. Like me -- I love crazy people. So what we have here is the "NEED", a two OLED touchscreen phone by designer Tamer Koseli, whose aim was a "no frills" design.
He argues mobile phones are basic multimedia gadgets, far from their traditional aim of communication. He wanted to create a device with no superfluous features. That's right, you won't find a MP3 player, video capabilities, or even a camera.
Now call me an evil genius, but I'm pretty sure having two OLED touchscreens isn't a "no frills" feature. Honestly, that shit is frilly as hell. I mean, you write the damn number you want to call and it dials it? I think that's a little more superfluous than, oh I don't know, punching numbered buttons. That said, what in the hell kind of number is D544 B7B 3...? Do you think it's one of those phone sex things? I love those. I don't even need to talk to a real person, the automated part at the beginning is enough for me.
A bunch more pictures of the thing after the ring-a-ling-a-ding-dong. God I need help.
Continue Reading " OLED Phone Will Stick Out Of Your Pocket "
May 22 2008 Wii Training Wheel For The Superficial Writer
The Superficial Writer is about as good at Mario Kart Wii as I am at succeeding in life (read: an epic failure). So I thought this little DIY Wii Training Wheel article would be perfect for him. Basically you take a plastic crate, add some bungee cords and a Wii Wheel, and then look like a monster taint whenever you play. Say, wanna race for shots tonight?
Mine gauntlet has been casteth down. Thou shall meeteth me on the interwebs at dusk.
In case you wanted to see someone playing with it, there's a video after the jump.
Continue Reading " Wii Training Wheel For The Superficial Writer "
May 22 2008 Oh Man, I NEED One: Duckhunt Hunting Hat
Man with one of these I wouldn't feel so out of place shooting the bull with the "colorful locals" (read: rednecks) in town. A pixelated duck being shot at is the universal language of men in these parts. And at only $22 this hat is practically a steal. Although truthfully, I've never actually paid for a hat before. I just show up at the bar around 11:00 A.M. when they open and take any that were left on coat racks the night before. Then I proceed to get drunk and brag about any good finds. Which, nowadays, is anything without scabies.
Duck Hunt Trucker Hat, Not What I Always Wanted, But It'll Do [uberreview]
May 22 2008 VR Masks: The Future Is Gonna Suck
If there's one thing I hate, it's reality. I wake up in the morning and gone is the hot chick I was making out with in my dream. And gone right along with her is not having to work, pay bills, or build a robot/zombie proof bunker. God I really hate waking up sometimes. Well to make reality a little bit more bearable comes these conceptual virtual reality masks.
In a troubling future, these augmented reality devices would offer a new dimension - a virtual layer that could be used to "re-skin" the troubling outside world. A boundary between the wearer and the world around him, the device would become a sort of visual drug, used to make the world appear a better place - even if just for a moment. Within the mask, smells, sounds, even air quality would be imitated to create a full sensory experience. The facial expressions of those wearing the device would be detected and projected onto personal avatars visible to others also living behind the shield of the mask.
Man, at first I thought this sounded promising, now it just sounds stupid. Screw this. I'm just gonna triple my dosage of Ambien and try to sleep 20 hours a day. What's that -- I should wash it down with a liter of bourbon? You got it!
A couple more pictures, including a look inside the (conceptual) mask, after the jump.
May 22 2008 DIY Car Mods: Flamethrowing Exhaust Kit
What could possibly be cooler than shooting flames out the exhaust of your car (besides actually being jet powered or having rocket launchers)? Very little. Well now, thanks to the Autoloc Flame Thrower you can toast the hell out of tailgaters like you've always wanted. The $125 kit clips on to your exhaust pipe and ignites any unburnt fuel from the engine. Unfortunately, it only works on vehicles with carburetors. So if you want to use it on a fuel-injected model you're gonna have to run an extra gas line to your tailpipe. And with today's rock-bottom gas prices, you'd be stupid to NOT jump on the flame-throwing exhaust bandwagon.
UPDATE: The bandwagon just caught fire. Somebody -- marshmallows and chocolate, STAT!
Autoloc Flame Thrower for car exhaust [boingboinggadgets]
May 22 2008 Music Video: A Tour of Mac Operating System
This is a music video made for "Again and Again" by the Birds and the Bees. It's basically a tour of a Mac's operating system. Some of the programs included in the video are:
• Capture • iTunes • Microsoft Word • Photo Booth • iChat • Stickies • Photoshop CS3 • iPhoto • Fast User Switching • Mac OSX Zoom Tip • Finder • Spotlight • Quicktime Player • Stacks • Quick Look • Desktop • Screensaver • Dashboard • Dashcode • Illustrator • Final Cut Pro • Exposé • Time Machine • iMovie • Spaces • Windows Media Player for Mac • Flip4Mac • Flash CS3 • VLC Media Player • Shake • Mplayer • DVD Studio Pro • Real Player • iDVD • Color • Screenflow • Cinematize • Safari • iTunes Store
Pretty neat. But what would be even neater is if I could figure out what exactly that chick wants me to do to her again and again? Is it the pterodactyl? Because if it is, she's in luck -- I never get tired of that. But if it's something lame like rubbing her feet, she can forget about that shit. The Geekologie Writer doesn't do feet. Foot fetish people give me the creeps. Now armpits and the back of the knees -- those are respectable fetishes.
Music Video Is Complete Mac OS X Leopard Tour [gizmodo]
Thanks to alex, who uses few words in news tips and is a real X Leopard in bed.
May 22 2008 Hand-Drawn Zelda Themed Shoes For Sale
So a money making scheme came to me in a dream last night: 1. Buy $5 canvas shoes from Wal-Mart. 2. Lock my little brother in his room and make him draw Zelda scenes on them. 3. Scotchguard the shoes so the marker doesn't wear off and post the resulting artistic novicepieces on Etsy for $42. 4. Watch the doubloons roll in.
Now I know what you custom painted shoe haters are thinking, "Damn, these ones are actually freaking awesome!" And you're right, they are. And I'm not just saying that because I'm the one raking in the dough. Although I'm just saying that because I'm the one raking in the dough. And no, there's nothing wrong with my little brother. He was dipped out of the same kiddy gene-pool that I was, which means he's practically a genius. Aren't you little guy? Stop eating that marker. No, you can't breathe the Scotchguard. At least not until I try it first. *HUFF* Holy shit little bro, you gotta try this!
Two more pictures after the jump, and no I didn't really make these and you definitely shouldn't huff Scotchguard. Leave that to the professionals.
May 21 2008 LEGO Guns Look Dangerous, But Aren't
BrickGun makes LEGO kits that resemble real guns. The company is not to be confused with Brickarms, which makes little guns for LEGO figures. And unlike Forbidden LEGO sets, these won't actually shoot anything. But hey, they still look like guns.
We are the world leader in custom Lego weapon models. We specialize in creating the coolest, most realistic kits that can be built using genuine Lego parts. Each model is life-sized, with accurate dimensions and details. They feature functioning mechanics such as triggers, hammers, slides, safeties and magazines so they not only look like the real thing, they work like the real thing as well.
Yeah, they work just like the real thing. You know, except firing anything. But seriously, that's only a small part of a gun's function anyways. The MP5 kit was a limited edition set and is already sold out, but they still have plenty of Berettas, Glocks and Desert Eagle models (see pictures of these after the jump). All kits range in price from $40 - $60. And honestly, what could be cooler than owning a LEGO gun? Besides, oh I don't know, cutting the grass with a really shitty old mower because your wife won't let you buy a ride-on model. God I hate cutting the grass. Don't some people just like burn their lawn or something?
UPDATE: Oh f***. I'll man the garden hose, you call the fire department. Just tell them you're with The Geekologie Writer, they'll know what to do.
Pictures of all the models after the jump.
May 21 2008 Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Resealable Can
Sometimes an invention comes along that is so simple, awesome, and bound to change the world of canned drinking so drastically that you just have to stop and ponder, "Why didn't I think of that?" Well this isn't one of those, but it is can related. Introducing the Resealable Can by Ukranian inventor Johan De Broyer!
You pop the top as usual with this design, and then when you want to re-seal it, you turn the pop top tab and it completely closes up the can again, good as new. The inventor says his invention can create a completely gas-tight and liquid-tight seal. An added incentive toward this idea's adoption is a space on the resealed top for advertising.
Now I know what you're thinking, "I'm a big boy, I can drink a whole can of beer/soda, so why would I ever need to reseal one?" Two words: Because you just peed in it.
May 21 2008 Classic Controller Belt Buckles For Sale
Want a NES or Genesis controller belt buckle? Well they're available. And so are SNES, Atari, and NES Advantage (the big arcade style controller) ones. Ranging in price from $30 to $50 (just like dog wigs!), they're all guaranteed to hold your pants up. But they're not guaranteed to come with a belt, so the company sells those for $5 extra. While I was kind of digging the classic NES buckle, I think I'm gonna hold out for an N64 one -- with a functional rumble pak attachment. *bzzzzzzzzz* Oh yeah, that's the stuff.
Pictures of all the different models after the jump.
Continue Reading " Classic Controller Belt Buckles For Sale "
May 21 2008 Flatmobile: The Flattest Vehicle In Gotham
This original Batmobile-inspired vehicle has been dubbed the Flatmobile. It stands a whopping 19" tall and is allegedly the world's flattest car that isn't a go-kart.
The Flatmobile is powered by a jet engine (based on a gas turbine jet engine and a Holset 685 turbocharger from a Volvo FL10 truck) which, thanks to having its own custom afterburner, is capable of delivering 90lbs of thrust powering the Flatmobile to speeds in excess of 100mph.
Awesome, can you imagine going 100mph and then getting run over by a tractor trailer driver who can't see you? That would be freaking sweet. However, I have a bone to pick with the claim that this is the flattest ride on the streets. Because it's not. That honor goes to a hooker I saw in D.C. over the weekend. Man, she had no boobs. Flat as an ironing board. Just the way I like 'em, isn't that right honey?
Several more pictures and a video after the jump.
Continue Reading " Flatmobile: The Flattest Vehicle In Gotham "
May 21 2008 If You Really, Really Hate Your Dog...
Get it a wig (cat models here). Prices range from $30 - $50 and you should be ashamed if you even for one second considered buying one. And since dogs can't talk, I'll translate what they think of the idea. "F*** you. Seriously, I'd rather be raped by the cat."
A TON more pictures of the different models after the jump.
May 21 2008 Uh-Oh: Robot Can Climb Almost Any Surface
Similar to this climbing robot, but 100% absolutely nothing like it, comes this agile bastard.
The as-yet-unnamed robot uses electro-adhesion to cling to the wall, generating electrostatic charges between the wall substrate and itself to keep from falling. "The principle of operation is similar to electrostatic chucks used to hold silicon wafers, or other specialized grippers for robotic handling of materials," senior researcher Harsha Prahlad explained to PM in an email last week. "The technology uses a very small amount of power ... and shows the ability to repeatedly clamp to wall substrates that are heavily covered in dust or other debris."
This isn't good news folks. If this were a medical prognosis for the future of the human race, we'd be getting toe-tagged. And speaking of toes -- if you strapped a camera to this thing and sent it up the side of my house to the bathroom window you might catch a hot and steamy glimpse of...me doing a crossword puzzle on the can.
Several more pictures of the robot and a video of it climbing a wall in your house, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Robot Can Climb Almost Any Surface "
May 21 2008 Promo Vid: How Not To Sell Microcontrollers
I found this promotional video for Texas Instruments' new MSP430 Ultra Low Power Microcontroller particularly funny because I used to work for the company. *TI stock plummets* Basically it's two monster geeks showing how you can run the thing on different fruits (just like the potato clock you made when you were six). However, the main reason I posted it is because it has an awesome scene that starts at 1:20.
Blue Guy: Now if you're watching this on Youtube feel free to respond with your own interesting power sources for the MSP430.
Red Guy: I can tell you a martini works wonderfully.
Blue Guy: But you didn't drink that martini right?
Red Guy: Nooo, of course not, that would violate TI policy. *smile disappears, looks down and contemplates killing himself in the middle of a Texas Instruments promo video*
Freaking classic.
Fruit-Powered Chip Promo Vid Shows Why Geeks Don't do PR [gizmodo]
May 21 2008 Gourmet Chocolates Shaped Like, Uh, Yeah
I tried to avoid posting these because the product is sophomoric and I'm a real class act with serious journalistic integrity, but I got the tip so many times that I figured I pretty much had to. So here it is, the Incredible Edible Anus. You heard correct -- butthole shaped chocolates. You can order a box of 12 (unknown price) or a single 35mm x 25mm x 25mm 'Big Boy' for about $6. And for a limited time you can get one made out of pure silver for about $470! "People come and people go. Our solid silver anus is immune from the daily wear and tear that similar products experience." I assume they're talking about actual buttholes there. Grossed out yet? I have been for fifteen minutes already. Take it away, testimonials!
'They're fab - I want to get my hands on some more!' Graham Norton - TV Presenter
'Say 'Thank You' with a box of delightful chocolate starfish.'
Bizarre Magazine'The very existence of these Milk Chocolate B*mholes probably heralds the destruction of the Earth by fire. And about time, too.'
G Scene Magazine'Thanks for the Incredible Silver Anus, it was a wedding gift. '
Buyer: courtney.bell'The best anus I've ever paid for. First Class Service and well packaged. Cheers '
Buyer: 123thomaspope'FUNNY GAG. TASTES GOOD TOO CONSIDERING IM EATING SOMEONES ASS!!! THANKS!! '
Buyer: srhmusicSelf-confessed anal-choco-holic, excellent fix! speedy delivery, supa service*** '
Buyer: mariamerton10x
I wonder who made the mold. And whether or not they've tried one.
Product Site (check out the URL)
Thanks Allyson, Shawn, and Greg, this is just what I wanted to wake up to
May 20 2008 FakeTV Acts Like Television, Deters Thieves
The FakeTV is a $50 array of super-bright LEDs that flicker on and off to resemble the light given off by a television. The idea is that a burglar will see this, think you're home watching television when in fact you're on a family vacation that's making you want to kill yourself, and pass on robbing you blind.
FakeTV uses a built-in computer to control super-bright LEDs to produce light of varying intensity and color that light up a room just like a real television does. The light effects of real television programming -- scene changes, camera pans, fades, flicks, swells, on-screen motion, and more, are all faithfully simulated by FakeTV... fills a room with color changes, both subtle and dramatic, in thousands of possible shades. FakeTV is completely unpredictable, and it never repeats.
The FakeTV uses substantially less energy than leaving a real television on, and doubles as an epilepsy detector. Video after the jump, but WARNING: We are in no way, shape, form, taste, smell or color responsible for any resulting seizures.
Continue Reading " FakeTV Acts Like Television, Deters Thieves "
May 20 2008 I've Seen It All Now: The Whiz Freedom
The Whiz Freedom is a horribly named "urine director" for women. First of all, I didn't know there was even a market for "urine directors", but secondly, now that I do, I think they should change the name of this product from Whiz Freedom to Fake Penis. Because I think that's what it is.
The Whiz Freedom preserves dignity and liberty whatever the circumstances. It gives women the choice to wee wherever and whenever they choose.Aside from allowing women to wee in a standing position, sitting down or lying down, the Whiz Freedom can be used in confined spaces such as in a car, a kayak, a small airplane or glider (you're up there for many hours), in a tent, a sleeping back, while chained to the stove, or while caving.
So ladies, if you're looking for the perfect $30 urine-soaked accessory to add to your purse, look no further. The Whiz Freedom -- Enabling women to pee like men since 2007.
A commercial for the thing after the jump. I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's a scene that I'm all too familiar with.
May 20 2008 Coca-Cola Vending Robots Spotted In Japan
So apparently Coca-Cola has these oversized robotic bastards lumbering around Tokyo and pinching the heads off anyone that doesn't buy an ice-cold Coke from its cooling chamber. Has anybody seen one? Do they actually walk around? Is there really just a person about to pass out from heatstroke in there? Has anyone tried knocking one over and prying its change receptacle open with a flathead? I need answers. But what I don't need is a giant robotic vending machine in my neighborhood. I do like Coke though. Who I don't like is Dr. Pepper -- I think that creep tried to touch me when I was under the gas.
coca-cola robots invade japan [technabob]
photo [flickr]
Thanks Steve, lets go robot tipping sometime
May 20 2008 Steve Ballmer Gets Egged In Hungary
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer got egged in Hungary by some student during a speech at Covinus University in Budapest. I'm kind of partial to the helicockter treatment myself, but that's just personal preference. Apparently the kid stands up, screams, "Hey you, Microsoft has stolen 45 million something something somethings from the Hungary people. Give that money back right now!" Then he lets the eggs fly (with absolutely no accuracy). What in the freaking hell is the matter with that kid? First off, he didn't even hit him. And secondly, egging someone is immature and I can't believe a college student would resort to something so juvenile. Grow up and buy some stink bombs already.
Another slow motion video after the jump.
May 20 2008 IT Kama Sutra Poses Threw My Back Out
We've all been there before -- you get home from the bars after striking out with the ladies but you're still feeling amorous. So what do you do? You bang your computer. Well thankfully this is not a picture of that. These are actually Kama Sutra positions to be used by trained IT professionals to mount a PC while attempting a repair. I know nothing about these, because I am neither an IT guy nor any sort of professional. I've only tried one Kama Sutra position in my whole life, and that was the Pterodactyl. You should really try it some time. Whenever you're on top just hold the sheet in your outstretched arms and flap it like a giant wing while yelling, "CAW CAW!" Trust me, it's the most sensual thing a woman can ever experience.
Kama Sutra For IT People [digg]
Thanks to Shawn, who has tried all of these, but with chicks
May 20 2008 Cyclepong 2.0 Combines Cycling And Pong
Cyclepong 2.0 (don't even get me started on Cyclepong 1.0) makes you work out to play Pong. "Put simply, the inventor created an arcade-like installation with a pair of exercise bikes, an LCD screen and customized software that enables a pair of individuals to pedal forward and back in order to move their pixels." If you want to take a pedal at it yourself and live near Suffolk, England just head down to the Southwold Pier and look for a guy wearing trackpants and a sweatband. Damn, I really wish I could give it a go. I mean, what could be more fun than exercising and playing Pong at the same time? You know, besides absolutely anything else.
A couple video demonstrations after the jump.
Continue Reading " Cyclepong 2.0 Combines Cycling And Pong "
May 20 2008 More Robotic Death And Destruction, This Time Under The Guise Of "Disaster Relief"
The Disaster Relief Robot was designed by Daniel Shankland, the same sick bastard behind the Firefighting Robot. The two robots were "designed with the same core parts and then specialized for the tasks we wanted them to complete." In this case they're supposed to aid disaster relief. But let me ask you something -- does that picture really look like two robots involved in disaster relief? No, it doesn't. What it does look like is either A) two robots ravaging a city looking for color to eat or B) two robots battling each and destroying a city in the process. Neither of which paints a very colorful picture of the future (just look at it -- it's all black and white). You see what I'm getting at here? That's right, the robots of the apocalypse will be powered by ingesting color and leave the earth barren of pigment. *sniffle* I'll miss you periwinkle.
A bunch more pictures, including a close-up of the crotch, and an actual model of the thing, after the jump.
May 20 2008 R/C Helicockter Interrupts Russian Speech
Did you read the post title carefully? That's right folks, somebody made a flying phallus and flew it into a news conference when Russian chess grandmaster and political activist Garry Kasparov was giving a speech. No idea if Vladamir Putin was the man behind the styrofoam salami, but he most certainly was. A translation of the website I got it from? Sure.
I do not have any sympathy for the Kremlin nor holuyam rumolovtsam nor kasparovsko-limonovskim dissenting, but this event fun ...
в общем, как я понял, румоловцы запустили на каспарова сию аццкую боеголовку: In general, as I understood it live on rumolovtsy kasparova retirement hellish warhead.From the video, obviously, that this "person Kremlin" kasparov strangely was wound circles over Limonovym until it is not brought down any of brave fighters kasparovskih.
Well there you have it, straight from the keyboard of some Ruski. And hellish warhead is right. Seriously though -- so someone flies a weapon of mass (erectile) dysfunction into your conference, big deal. Just make a penis joke and move on. I mean at least it wasn't pierced.
Arguably NSFW picture and VIDEO after the jump.
WARNING: It's a flying, relatively realistic styrofoam penis.
Continue Reading " R/C Helicockter Interrupts Russian Speech "
May 19 2008 Caffeine Laced Chips: I'll Just Stick To Coffee
If you're anything like The Superficial Writer, you down several cups of urine-fortified coffee to get you going in the morning (seriously, stop taking my parking spot). Well for those of you out there that aren't into the liquid (or soap) caffeine scene, how about some, uh, chips? That's right, Engobi "Energy Go Bites" are cinnamon or lemon (WTF!?) flavored chips laced with wake-up powder. While I couldn't find the exact amount of crack per bag, each 1.5-ounce serving is advertised as containing "70% more caffeine than those little energy drinks." Yeah, and all for the low, low price of $1.29. To promote the chips, Engobi is taking the chips to the street.
The company is running a "Girls, Guitars and Geeks City Tour," with a Guitar Hero-equipped van, giving gamers willing to leave their basements the chance to compete for Guitar Hero controllers and gear emblazoned with the name of everyone's favorite insomnia-inducing snack product.
And if you were worried that Engobi was run by a bunch of old shriveled nads with no concept of what's cool to their target demographic, fear not.
Says the company's VP, Mark Singleton: ""If this contest, the Engobi girls, or our high-octane Engobi snack chips don't perk you up, I'm not sure you have a pulse. With Engobi on the scene, couch potatoes just earned a place on the endangered species list."
Wow, Mark, wow. You just made a whole bunch of no sense whatsoever. Doesn't gaming promote a certain level of couch/desk chair potatodom? I can't remember the last time I played video games while running a marathon. Unless slapping a Nintendo Power Pad with my hands to beat Cheetah at World Class Track Meet counts. Which, damnit, it should.
Engobi Website
via
Engobi Chips: Caffeinated, Guitar Hero-Friendly [gearlog]
NOTE: Whatever you do, don't go to the Engobi website and then click Products, What's Inside and then scroll over the heaps of shit at the bottom. Trust me, just don't.
Thanks Shawn, lets down a bunch of espressos and punch holes in the wall
May 19 2008 Questionable: Huge LEGO Indiana Jones Boulder Rolled Down Hill In San Francisco
This is allegedly a 5 million piece LEGO boulder being rolled down a hill in San Francisco. I find it hard to believe it's solid and 5 million pieces because it seems pretty light. But who knows, stranger things have happened (my penis once fell off in the shower after I scrubbed it with a loofah). So these guys roll this big-ass LEGO boulder down a hill while some guy dressed loosely as Indiana Jones runs in front of it (and another in a fez that may or may not be Sallah makes bad commentary). Eventually the boulder bounces off a tree and stops after hitting a parked van. Now we could bicker back and forth all day long whether or not this is fake, so for the sake of argument we'll just agree that it should have been a lot cooler.
UPDATE: Turns out the boulder is styrofoam in the middle. FAIL. Thanks Detective Steph.
Thanks to Altaire, who could train horses to make more realistic LEGO boulders
May 19 2008 Russian Mario Kart Looks Pretty Good
This is a custom painted Lada Zhiguli Mario Kart from Russia. As you can see, it's got a Super Mario Bros. theme. "The mural contains Goombas, pipes, coins, blocks, red-shelled Koopas and of course, Mario-himself." Not much else to say, except that I drank with a Russian guy once. It all started when I bought a car on eBay. A drive up to Philadelphia later, I met with the car's seller (who, from the looks of things, was clearly involved in an organized crime syndicate). He broke the top off a vodka bottle and said I couldn't leave until we finished the whole thing. Obviously we did, but I had to sleep in the car that night. The next morning he took me to a title place that only did business in Russian. I was still drunk and had no idea what the hell was going on or being said. Long story short: there was a body in the trunk. I Febreezed the shit out of it, but you can still catch a wiff in the summer when it gets hot.
Close-up shots after the jump.
May 19 2008 HAL (Hybrid Assistive Limb) Suit Gives You Ironman-Like Capabilities. Okay, Not Really
The HAL suit was developed by Cyberdyne (not to be confused with Cyberdyne Systems, the company responsible for manufacturing Terminators). Despite the similar names, the suit is far from having Terminator-like features. Or Ironman for that matter. What is does have are some little blue circles that light up.
When a person attempts to move, nerve signals are sent from the brain to the muscles via motoneuron, moving the musculoskeletal system as a consequence. At this moment, very weak biosignals can be detected on the surface of the skin. HAL catches these signals through a sensor attached on the skin of the wearer. Based on the signals obtained, the power unit is controlled to move the joint unitedly with the wearer's muscle movement, enabling to support the wearer's daily activities.
The system was designed with physical rehabilitation and people with permanent disabilities in mind, but it will also be used for heavy labor at factories, rescue support at disaster sites, and the entertainment field. So it may be comparable to the system Raytheon is developing. But at least this one doesn't look like a heap of scrap metal. It looks like an iPod. And what do we know about iPods? That's right -- they don't work after your wife puts them through the wash. So, logically, neither will this suit.
One more picture of the thing in action after the jump.
May 19 2008 Vegeta From Dragon Ball Untooned
Despite my penchant for getting high and watching cartoons, I've never been into the Dragon Ball franchise. Although I may go see the live-action movie if I can sneak into the theater and throw moistened gummy bears at the screen while children cry. That could be fun. So yeah, here's Vegeta from the series in untooned form. Does he look good? I have no idea, I don't even know who Vegeta is. At first I thought he was a vegetarian sandwich at the local Cajun restaurant (UPDATE: turns out that's a vegelleta). Regardless, I think we can all agree on one thing -- my widow's peak puts his to shame. Seriously, ask anyone.
Vegeta Real [deviantart]
Thanks Tytus, lets me and you get matching dragonskin suits. Then we won't just be ballin', we'll be dragonballin'.
May 19 2008 South Korea To Build Robot-Themed Parks By 2013, Destruction Of Human Race Ensues
I question how a robot-themed amusement park is going to complement the future Seoul Eco-Commune of 2026, but whatever, they didn't ask for my opinion. Besides, if the robot parks are a success, Korea won't need an Eco-Commune in 2026 because everyone will be dead. Robotic destruction prophecies aside, the South Korean government plans to build two robot-themed parks near Seoul by 2013. The $1.6 billion venture is all part of a program to position the country as the world's robotic mecca. Other initiatives include placing a robot in every household by 2020 and a recently drafted Robot Ethics Code, which lays down the law as to what constitutes robotic abuse, etc. Yes, I'm being serious.
The government of South Korea is drawing up a code of ethics to prevent human abuse of robots--and vice versa.
The new charter is part of an effort to establish ground rules for human interaction with robots in the future."Imagine if some people treat androids as if the machines were their wives," Hye-Young Park of the ministry's robot team told the AFP news agency.
Hye-Young, I have no idea what in the hell you're trying to get at. Are you saying that treating robots that way would be a good thing or a bad thing? I mean it's not like I want to have sex with them, I just want somebody who can cook my eggs over-easy for once.
A picture of a chick and a robot having a slap fight after the jump.
May 19 2008 Now That's Crabby: Half Life 2 Head-Crab Hat
This may be as old as the hills, I honestly have no idea. But if it is there's nobody to blame but yourself, for not sending me the tip earlier. So yeah, marinate on that little knowledge nugget for a minute. Anyway, a loyal reader did send the tip, and here they are -- Half Life 2 Head-Crab (aka head-humper) Hats. Made out of 100% head-crab, the $30 hats are guaranteed to turn you into a lifeless zombie (see picture, above). I just ordered one and whenever I wear it I'm going to drool a lot and pretend I'm a zombie. That's going to be funny isn't it? No, it's not. Say, did I ever tell you about the crabs I got from a toothless hooker in Baltimore? $80 for a whole bushel of jumbo Maryland blues. Freaking great deal.
Several more pictures of the hat after the jump.
Continue Reading " Now That's Crabby: Half Life 2 Head-Crab Hat "
May 19 2008 Dude Undresses Chick With Heavy Machinery
This is a video of some guy undressing a chick with a mechanical digger. I'm petitioning to make it an Olympic sport. It was apparently on some Italian variety show and at first I thought they were using a mannequin. But they're definitely not, it's a real chick (hence the lifelike picture there). At the end of the video she's only wearing underwear and a camisole top or something, so this may be considered a little NSFW. Unless you work for a construction company, in which case this should be required viewing. Anyway, the guy completes the task in just over four minutes, which was pretty impressive. But I could have done it in three -- with a bulldozer.
Hit the jump for the slightly NSFW video.
Continue Reading " Dude Undresses Chick With Heavy Machinery "
