Apr 25 2008Where Do I Sign?: This Chick Will Do You If You're A Virgin And Swear By Net Neutrality
Warning: This is kind of risque. If your children are reading Geekologie over your shoulder then you should probably let them so they grow up to be the awesomest kids ever.
Tanya Devereaux is some chick that claims she'll do every virgin that takes an oath of internet neutrality.
I will make love with every virgin who defends the Internet. Certain ISP's are planning to limit internet access in a way that infringes upon internet freedom or 'net neutrality'. Description of Services The services consist of Tania performing sexual intercourse with the applicant, the form and style of the performance will be discussed prior to the act, Tania tries to allow as much freedom as possible in this area but she does reserve the right to decline suggestions. Tania covers all her personal expenses, including travel. Any sort of recording (video, audio or photographs) of the performance is allowed for non-commercial use. Tania adheres to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 30 minutes, no exceptions will be made under any circumstance.
Wow, then she goes on about some rules of conduct (which I have posted in their entirety after the jump), of which one particularly caught my eye: "If anywhere along the process, it becomes clear that the applicant is not a virgin, Tania reserves the right to terminate all activity." YES, I'M IN!! I've been having sex for well over a decade now and I guarantee there is no way in hell she'd ever think I have any experience.
Hit the jump for the full terms of service and an uncensored pic (still no nipple though).
Terms of Service
1. Acceptance of Terms
Tania Derveaux provides performance of sexual intercourse (Services) to those who request them, subject to the following Terms of Service ("TOS"). Your use of the Services in whole or in part constitutes your binding acceptance of these TOS. If you do not agree to these TOS, you should not use the Services. Some Services may be subject to additional posted rules, policies and terms. When you use those Services, you and Tania shall be subject to those additional conditions, which are incorporated by reference into these TOS (and, consequently, form part of your agreement with her).
2. Description of Services
The services consist of Tania performing sexual intercourse with the applicant, the form and style of the performance will be discussed prior to the act, Tania tries to allow as much freedom as possible in this area but she does reserve the right to decline suggestions. Tania covers all her personal expenses, including travel. Any sort of recording (video, audio or photographs) of the performance is allowed for non-commercial use. Tania adheres to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 30 minutes, no exceptions will be made under any circumstance.
3. General Requirements and Rules of Conduct
Services will only be provided to those who meet the following requirements:
* applicants must be 18yrs old or above
* condom must be used, except if the applicant prefers to release his semen upon Tania's body without any oral or vaginal contact
* Anal sex is negotiable, although Tania will cease the performance immediately if any form of 'surprise buttsex' occurs
* multiple participants are not allowed, but applicants are entitled to have an audience observe the performance
* if anywhere along the process, it becomes clear that the applicant is not a virgin, Tania reserves the right to terminate all activity
* applicant must be able to provide sufficient evidence that clearly shows he has been defending net neutrality (eg. a print-out of a forum post, a link to a vlog)
* applicant agrees that in the event of the applicant infringing upon Terms of Service during the process of the act, Tania is not responsible for any genital injury that the applicant may suffer
* Tania may deny service for hygiene reasons
Don't Stay A Virgin
via
Sexy Lady Offers to Harvest Virginity of Net Neutrality-Suppording Nerds [gizmodo]
Reader Comments
1. Keiko - April 25, 2008 3:22 PM
...
2. Doogie Howser - April 25, 2008 3:23 PM
I'm all in...
3. Zapple - April 25, 2008 3:32 PM
This is the same woman who was offering free blow jobs to all of the applicants. In the end she sent e-mails to people with another woman pretending to give oral sex. It was pretty funny.
4. Ok - April 25, 2008 3:39 PM
FAKE BOOBS
5. Anon - April 25, 2008 3:43 PM
It is and she's also going to commit suicide (hopefully) in 12 days. Look it up.
It's fake like her. She pulls these stunts for publicity then doesn't deliver on what she offers. Like a woman and her vows.
Ignore it. She's an attention whore and thats it.
6. Jeezy - April 25, 2008 4:11 PM
Just sad. Why would you even post this. It's obviously fake. Fake and stupid. Go get laid the real way, virgins. Pay a whore!
7. jason - April 25, 2008 4:14 PM
"Suprise buttsex" ROFL
8. Anon - April 25, 2008 4:15 PM
But jeezy she is a whore and will do it for free, even though its fake.
9. bobby bo bo - April 25, 2008 4:38 PM
Is that the chick from band camp?
10. Justified Male - April 25, 2008 4:50 PM
This is fake?
WELL THEN FUCK NET NEUTRALITY
11. JonnieThunder - April 25, 2008 5:00 PM
I know this girl, she promised me she would leave after i was done giving her a golden shower. Then she ended up ordering pizza and being like "i can't leave I'm waiting for food." Dummy
12. jesse - April 25, 2008 5:17 PM
Sounds like the commenters on here are disgruntled virgins who have already applied.
Try posting this on The Superficial. I'm sure everyone there would rip her a new asshole for not coming through with the removal of their collective virginities.
13. sharpie - April 25, 2008 5:24 PM
id hit it.
14. Ok - April 25, 2008 5:29 PM
id hit it too
15. Anon - April 25, 2008 5:34 PM
Sounds like jesse is jealous that no-one even desperate virgins want her/his vagina.
16. the thompson - April 25, 2008 5:35 PM
damn, I was goig to ask if almost getting laid counts... damn whiskey dick
17. jesse - April 25, 2008 5:46 PM
Well, if I wasn't right about everyone. At least I know I'm right about "Anon".
18. Anon - April 25, 2008 6:19 PM
And me, you.
If you don't like the comments on here and the superficial go elsewhere.
Better yet clean up down there and stop acting like your so superior.
Like your the only one who can pass judgement on posters yet still be exempt yourself.
Your clearly insecure so go away and get some help
19. jesse - April 25, 2008 6:50 PM
With every butthurt comment you post about me, you only solidify my point.
"What?! He said I'm a virgin?! Everyone will find out if I don't defend myself!"
Boo hoo. If you weren't so insecure yourself, you wouldn't find it necessary to put up such a defense.
20. Anon - April 25, 2008 7:07 PM
Really? is that why you think I commented on you?
Let me ask you this. Does the room go quiet when you enter?
Does the conversation stop when you sit at the table.
I commented on you because you felt the need to come on here and criticise everyone. Why?
Because your the one who's insecure.
She's seeking attention (something you can probably relate to) by pulling these stunts including the blog she has where she will commit suicide in 12 days. Whats your thoughts on that miss high and mighty?
Does that offend your superior morals?
I commented on you because your a moron. Everytime you reply you prove that.
Think what you want your opinion doesn't matter but i hope it keeps you warm at night in your cold empty bed.
If you start being nice to people they will stop avoiding you.
Stop ruining everyones fun.
I've hit a nerve with you and i'm happy. Keep up your viral and over-inflated sense of self-belief because nothing anyone says will get through to and know that when people are with you and laughing it's not with you but because of you.
Let people have a good time and if you can't bugger off.
21. Butts - April 25, 2008 7:35 PM
No, bobby bo bo, that is not Alyson Hannigan.
22. jesse - April 25, 2008 7:44 PM
Alright. This is the last time I'm going to waste my time on you.
Maybe instead of telling other people to quit taking shit so seriously, why don't you step back and take a look at yourself for a change? Since when can't you come on a board like this and give someone shit for something without them getting all teary eyed about it?
You hit a nerve with me? You made it apparent that I'm the one who did the "nerve hitting" when you started crying about my comments. I'm not trying to prove anything you haven't already proven in this drawn out waste of finger strength, which I wouldn't even be participating in if it weren't a Friday afternoon and I didn't have shit else to do at work.
So, instead of tossing around accusations of insecurity and false superiority, why don't you just keep your mouth shut, or learn how to take a joke instead of trying to tear people down because you can't handle the fact that someone, somewhere might think something less of you.
I, for one, couldn't give a shit less what you think about me. But I will not tolerate ignorance when it comes to someone taking the shit I say the wrong way. Especially when it turns into this back and forth blog comment bullshit. Maybe a "If being a virgin means I get a chance with her, then so be it", would have been a more suitable answer. Instead you took it like someone was trying to condescend your manhood, which is what people that don't have enough confidence in themselves to know some stupid comment on a blog wouldn't mean anything more than a fly's fart in the wind.
I'm all for people having fun on these sites, which is why I originally said what I said. I would have been more than happy to trade jabs with someone so long as they didn't get all butthurt like you did. Fuck off kind sir, fuck off indeed.
23. hahah - April 25, 2008 7:58 PM
Jesse and Anon and fucking losers hahahaha. Seriously, theres nothing more lame than arguing with a stranger over the internet for no reason. hahah its funny to me how borning their lives must be
24. berlinmassive - April 25, 2008 7:58 PM
[img]http://innerslacker.com/images/argue091204.jpg[/img]
25. jesse - April 25, 2008 8:00 PM
#23
Haha, you have no idea the extent of how boring my life can be.
26. Anon - April 25, 2008 8:12 PM
I, for one, couldn't give a shit less what you think about me. But I will not tolerate ignorance when it comes to someone taking the shit I say the wrong way.
Lousy hypocrite
Isn't that what you did and then passed judgement on everyone.
Instead you took it like someone was trying to condescend your manhood.
No that was more assumptions from you. By the way original comeback, Get it from cosmo?
Fuck off kind sir, fuck off indeed
Again acting superior but your natural pig ignorance shines through.
And finally
instead of tossing around accusations of insecurity and false superiority, why don't you just keep your mouth shut, or learn how to take a joke instead of trying to tear people down because you can't handle the fact that someone, somewhere might think something less of you.
You should listen to your own advice.
All you've said is it was a joke cant you take a joke but you couldn't.
Get over yourself and stop judging everyone and join in with the general consensus or once again...
Bugger off.
And stop being so sensitive. If you can "joke" (criticise) about other people then you should be able to take a joke yourself, yet your comments show otherwise.I'm sure you see it another way but you commented on the posters here and the superficial then started crying (boo hoo i believe) when I did it back but you claim I'm the one who cant take a joke!?!
Lousy hypocrite.
27. Anon - April 25, 2008 8:13 PM
#23 I have to say the same as jesse on that
28. SmokingGirl - April 25, 2008 8:53 PM
Apparently virginity, and the underlying hope of being laid, brings out the inner sanctimonious and self-righteous preacher that hides like a cavernous void of their otherwise whole and purified selves. How dood...
Thankfully I haven't had to deal with said leecherous preacher in many, many years. And there inlies my superiority with which I am quite content with. *lites a cigg* It's nice to know that virgins have access to the internet...and that they're not afraid to hit "enter" with posts that show their obvious lack of substance.
29. Scott - April 25, 2008 9:12 PM
What she said.
30. Berzerker - April 25, 2008 9:16 PM
Athene is gonna love this publicity
31. Chase - April 25, 2008 10:15 PM
i think anon makes a better argument than jesse
GO ANON!!!!!
32. SkittlePie - April 25, 2008 10:32 PM
Damn, Jesse did hit a nerve indeed. QQ more virgins.
33. CEASYS.COM - April 25, 2008 11:13 PM
WHY POST HERE WHEN YOU CAN POST WITH CEASYS!
34. wooly - April 25, 2008 11:23 PM
VIRGIN RAGE
35. Jenocyde - April 25, 2008 11:31 PM
This is the hot chick from those 'athene' videos...that retarded guy that thinks he's the king of WoW.
Although apparently, him, her, and everybody else are a member of a drama troupe from somewhere in europe, and they do all these publicity stunts.
I kinda figured those videos couldn't be real....why the hell else would a chick that hot put up with that douche-fag's shit, unless she was seriously retarded?!
36. fag - April 26, 2008 12:24 AM
i think this might be seriously at least a year behind
37. dale - April 26, 2008 1:14 AM
I think sex with yourself still makes you a virgin.
38. shaneekwa - April 26, 2008 3:08 AM
....anon and jesse both need to get laid......
39. judge - April 26, 2008 4:25 AM
I say Anon and Jesse should kiss, make up, and have taped sex with an episode of 'surprise buttsecks'.
All in favor?
40. Goldi - April 26, 2008 5:29 AM
is that wow in the background?
41. Tominato - April 26, 2008 8:52 AM
HAHA that is WoW int he background good eye goldi
42. brian - April 26, 2008 1:05 PM
sex is stupid, anyways
43. Sev - April 26, 2008 6:54 PM
@ 42- Are you ghey??
44. Kevin - April 26, 2008 9:46 PM
Totally fake. She won't do it.
45. guate6 - April 27, 2008 2:48 AM
Yes, it is fake, shw won't do it. She had another promise like this a while ago and it didn't happen.
Jesse & Anon are the same person, just making two "people" argue, for the sake of attention. One of them did say their life was boring, so why not.
46. pastey - April 28, 2008 12:17 AM
the video in her site is pretty interesting...if you have an iota of an iq to speak of.
47. Elios - April 28, 2008 12:20 AM
Virgin!? Aww man!
Guess i'm out of the game.
48. ham - April 28, 2008 10:30 AM
are those pubes beneath the sign?
49. Josh Hofstad - April 28, 2008 9:09 PM
I got 2 friends that are virgins. Thier ages are 16 (which is age of consent in my state), would this be negotiable?
50. gelgash - April 28, 2008 11:02 PM
i'm with anon, don't bash things on the internet if you don't like it. there is no need to bash anything unless it is truly worthless and/or stolen from another site. but honestly, both of you, grow up and quit bickering like children.
51. kvo - April 30, 2008 3:15 PM
well i have 25 years and i'm a vrigin that is incredible i know, but is true, call me Tanya i want to be with you.
52. corndogg - May 1, 2008 2:07 PM
wow thats athene's bitch.
53. COLD_SNAP - May 1, 2008 5:50 PM
http://www.b9board.com/viewtopic.php?t=464191
54. Smooooock - May 2, 2008 4:10 AM
BULLSHIT!!!!
LOOOOOOOL
LOL
LOOOOOOOL
THIS IS ONLY BULLSHIT !! SHE CAN'T FUCK ALL VIRGINS LOL IS IMPOSIBLE an pay the travel to everyplace??
LMAO
55. DANIEL - May 3, 2008 1:56 PM
NO ENTIENDO MUY BIEN TU PUNTO PERO ESTAS INCREIBLE Y ME ENCANTARIA HACERLO CONTIGO YO ME APUNTO NENA SOLO DIME QUE FIRMAR UN BESO BYE
56. eduardo - May 6, 2008 6:21 PM
Chingao xD, pss yo me apunto mija. I´m in to defend Internet´s neutrality jaja.
57. SCHADENFRAUDE - May 7, 2008 3:09 PM
You are reallly funny, and all the guys than have hope to fuck with you are really really stupids. Even if you will do it you don´t have money! LOL
58. pablo - May 7, 2008 4:30 PM
YO TAMBIEN ME APUNTO MAMACITA!!! NO TE LA VAS ACABAR!!!VIVA MEXICO CABRONES!!!!
59. pablo - May 7, 2008 4:39 PM
por cierto hasta creen q esta mamacita se cogera a toda la bola de calientes que entramos en esta pendejada!!!!
esta vieja si que mamó!!!!
pero bueno si viene a mi casa ay les cuento luego!!!!
60. Pako - May 10, 2008 1:44 PM
Pues no entendí
muy bien pero a ver
qu roio la verdad si creo
que hay muchisimos que
no hacen otra cosa que estar enfrente de la compu
y no creo que con todos lo haga
61. javie - May 11, 2008 6:14 PM
yo tmb!!!!
62. Ruben - May 11, 2008 7:56 PM
hi im ruben i very interesed on you propposed please contactme!!
or send me your e mail.
63. p1mpu4lif3 - May 12, 2008 8:29 AM
translate plz lol look at all you im sooo high lmao you guy/girls r so funny keep it up
64. p1mpu4lif3 - May 12, 2008 8:41 AM
and too all the dumbasses out there tryin to get this girl lol DONT shes MINE!!! HA HA HA HAAA
65. Pablo Fernando Gomez - May 21, 2008 12:27 PM
hi I live in Mexico city I pay your travel , How do it money its necesary?
66. darkstar42970 - July 26, 2008 3:20 PM
fake...shes the g/f of a moron on youtube by the name athene and in one of em actually talks about this crap hes a tool shes hot
67. caleb - August 9, 2008 8:09 PM
anon rules jesse sucks
68. JOSUE - August 11, 2008 12:13 PM
SABES YO PIENSO LO MISMO LA RED DEVE SER LIBRE Y LA INFO, TAMBIEN
69. bass - September 12, 2008 11:07 AM
hells to the yes=]]]
70. Jank Hands - September 23, 2008 9:11 PM
I say anon fucks jesse.
Anon gets his anger out
Jesse gets the cock he so despratly needs in his ass
and I will go beat off to WoW Porn.
Every Body Wins.
Cheers.