Apr 10 2008Paintball Turret Will Keep Kids Off Your Lawn

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The EMT Wireless Paintball Sentry Turret is just what I need to keep those damn neighborhood kids off my lawn and out of my flowerbeds.


The $1959 setup includes the paintball turret, a substantial tripod base, CO2 tanks, a color CCD camera with video transmitter and a wireless remote with a nice little 3.5-inch monitor (or a 7.5-inch upgrade pictured above) so you can aim at your unsuspecting victims. The controller's joysticks pan and tilt the turret, and can fire up to 400 paintballs with the push of a button. The whole rig runs on rechargeable batteries and CO2, so you can use it anywhere (although there is a slight up-charge for weatherproofing).

You can even upgrade to a high-res camera, big-screen goggles, and a larger ball hopper. Holy hellfire do I need one of these. Just think of all the fun you could have with those religious zealots that come by trying to pass off their literature. Just kidding, I wouldn't shoot them. I like to see the expressions on their faces when I answer the door pantless with a beer in one hand and my girlfriend's ass in the other. "Ooh, sorry, looks like we caught you at a bad time, we'll just leave this pamphlet here by the door." "Hey honey, show them that trick you do to pick up the dollars when you're stripping."

remote-controlled paintball turret is ready for action [technabob]

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Reader Comments

Holy Crap that's sweet!

No one will get near the flag with this baby on our side!

could I USB it into my home computer... so I could use it from work?

All my hopes and dreams have now come true...

Great, now I get to spend paintball time sitting next to my sentry, riddled with paranoia and shooting my own teammates in the face because I think they might be spies coming to sap my shit.

f***ing awesome! Anti-personnel paint guns! This leaves my hands free for the camera!

Life is good, there is a god.

Personally, I like to leap out the window naked and singing badly out of tune when people try to hock some shitty cult on me. That seems to work.

And about the turret. MUST HAVE.

Id sap it.

Now those pesky kids will stay off my lawn! Hey! I know your mother!

it's not the kids on my lawn i'm worried about - it's the wankers that keep breaking into my car...

HOLY CRAP!!! Now the damn kids will never kick there ball on my yard again. My life is complite.

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