Apr 18 2008Jet Car Driver: Must Be Handsome, Charming
Ed Shadle and Keith Zanghi are two nutjobs that want to break the 800 mph land speed record in the US. To achieve such a breakneck speed they've built the North American Eagle -- a jet car powered by a 1957 Lockheed F-104 Starfighter's 42,500 horsepower engine. The damn thing eats 160 gallons of fuel a minute and costs $16,000 in gas every run. Now I can think of better ways to spend my money, but whatever, I have no record-breaking dreams.
Now the couple is having trouble finding sponsors because no one is interested in two old codgers that built a rocket car, they want a handsome, charismatic daredevil. So now the team is looking for one. You must be between the ages of 20-40, and photogenic. Death wish preferred, but not required. If you want to give it a go send a 400-word email to landspeedracing@gmail.com explaining why you're the man for the job, and attach a photo. Now here's a great idea -- how about getting a woman to drive it? That'll certainly garner some publicity. Think about what Danica Patrick did for racing. I can honestly say I had never masturbated to an IndyCar event before she started. Now I'll even do it to a Nascar Truck Series race. What was my point here? Oh right, a woman. I love women.
Just to give you an idea of how touch with reality these two guys are, Shadle told the Times Online, "It's a lot of fun to drive, but if my age is stopping us getting sponsors, we have to remove that barrier. We'll put some hotshot in the driving seat who looks like Robert Redford and see how that works." Wow, Shadle, wow. The last time I checked (which was 30 seconds ago), Robert Redford was 71 and had a grandfatherly look about him. Not sure that's the look sponsors were going for. Unless, of course, you were referring to Redford in 1969's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. In which case I loved his mustache in that movie. Wish I could grow one like that, I'd sell rides.
Driver wanted for jet car: must be young, fearless, good looking [dvice]
Reader Comments
1. Dustin - April 18, 2008 5:18 PM
I hope they can wait 5 years for me to turn 20.
2. Dustin - April 18, 2008 5:19 PM
eh, who am I kidding, they probably have 2 or 3 months left till death gets to them first.
3. Rick - April 18, 2008 5:20 PM
I would totally do that. Maybe I should send him an email.
4. Amy - April 18, 2008 5:30 PM
This really irks me that this thing wastes as much gas as it does and only so some old guys can try to get hard over something again. Really irritates me.
5. wiinja - April 18, 2008 6:58 PM
Robert Redford, eh
why not hit up that spry fox Burt Reynolds?
...speaking of moustaches
6. SmokingGirl - April 18, 2008 7:38 PM
I...ahhhh...blah. I've got nothing. Dream big, guys, dream big.
Oh, and if they want to spend that kind of money on gas, then good for them. I don't know how a gas guzzler could actually irk someone, but apparently I'm not Amy.
And another thing...can this thing catch fire and push a cart or check vital signs for the seasoned citizens? If no, then I'm highly disappointed. If yes, then sweet!
7. poop - April 18, 2008 7:57 PM
i'd drive it.
8. DaBA - April 18, 2008 8:54 PM
What a bunch of a-holes. I hope they die in a $16,000 fireball.
9. This Guy - April 18, 2008 10:50 PM
Eh, hippies. I say go for it. I'm sick of this eco BS.
10. Scott - April 18, 2008 11:50 PM
To put minds at ease, they are most likely using an alcohol based fuel that has nothing to do with gasoline.
On the lighter side I expected some phallic humor. Ahhh, the disappointment! Do I have to run this whole jigger up in here?
11. poop - April 18, 2008 11:51 PM
the gods of opec just jismed all over their own faces
12. SmokingGirl - April 19, 2008 10:34 AM
The car is an obvious phallus, so the jokes would just be pointless.
BTW, just to clear up any confusion, I love the phallus. I think the phallus is an amazing and beautiful thing. So I am not a phallus-hater, nor do I want the phallocracy to stop.
I just wanted to take this time to share my feelings on all things phallic.
That's my public service announcement for the day. Carry on.
13. SlowMonkey - April 19, 2008 11:20 AM
I can imagine how it outruns the Highway Patrol but how does it change lanes?
14. James - April 19, 2008 11:34 AM
Yeeaaaaah..... because jet engines usually run on gasoline.
Does it still count as "making a rocket car" when it looks like all these old farts did was take the wings off the Starfighter?
15. Fred - April 19, 2008 7:59 PM
Hahaha, what a bunch of haters. This is fantastic. Truth is we will all be dead and gone soon enough, so who cares what the kids inherit. Thats their problem. hahahaha
16. Garoo - April 20, 2008 1:44 AM
The bumpersticker reads "My other dong is disappointing".
17. buzz_clik - April 20, 2008 7:48 PM
@12 - Love is a phallacy, apparently.
18. Scott - April 21, 2008 10:24 AM
SG, you do realize that people are starting to talk....Actually I am starting to talk about the red bra, maybe a garter belt and some red stockings or white stockings and red high heels.
19. daguz - April 21, 2008 10:53 AM
Just because something is pointy does not mean it is phallic. I mean that is like saying a parachute is like a big vagina flapping in the wind.
They are pointed or not pointed for a purpose.
20. An Observer - April 21, 2008 11:10 AM
#10 Scott- This is a jet engine-powered car. That means kerosene, not alcohol of any kind.
This isn't a homemade car with an F-104's engine; it's simply an entire F-104 Starfighter with the wings cut off and some high speed wheels added.
Good luck to them. The world needs more insane people like this.
21. SmokingGirl - April 21, 2008 11:12 AM
A parachute is not indicative of a vagina...however, a tunnel is.
Freud anyone?
22. bagduz - April 21, 2008 12:58 PM
#19 does that mean my penis is aerodynamic, then? the next time i go running i will go naked. and aroused.