Apr 25 2008Final Proof: Robotic Takeover Is Imminent
I know I've been going off on a "robots are gonna kill us all" tirade lately, but quite frankly, that's because they are. So I'll just offer this last piece of evidence and let it rest for awhile. Introducing the forest fire prevention robot by Jordan Guelde (that sick, robot sympathizing bastard). The unit was designed to go in and remove (read: cut the everliving hell out of by way of giant spinning blades) trees surrounding a forest fire so it can't spread. To me it looks like it was designed to kill every last human being on the face of the planet. But what do I know? I only have a doctorate in robotic technology from the University of Outer Damn Space. And no, you can't see my diploma -- it's holographic, you'd probably try to steal it.
A ton more pictures of the killing machine after the jump. Oh, and by the way, the robot was actually designed for entertainment, so we might actually be safer than I initially made it seem. Psyche! We're effed.
Forest Fire "Clear Cut" Robot [yankodesign]
Thanks to Leigh and Shawn, both of whom would make great additions to my elite force of robot ass-kickers, for the tips
Reader Comments
1. Rod - April 25, 2008 11:22 AM
Finally a robot idea I can get behind, and by get behind I mean show submission and point out where the remaining survivors are hidden.
2. damn luddites - April 25, 2008 11:28 AM
it looks like it's only about 6 inches tall. couldn't we just get people with big feet to step on them?
3. Scott - April 25, 2008 11:54 AM
They could hide behind the sofa until dark....Yes, dark! *insert maniacal laugh here*.
In other news: they switched our free spring water with this crappy purified water! Don't think I don't know the difference I thought but was too afraid to say out loud.
Blast you Hinckley Springs and your purified drinking water!! Blast you all to hell!!
4. #6 - April 25, 2008 11:57 AM
Don't worry this is just giving you an idea of what the real ones will be like. The much larger ones that will be programmed to terminate human rebels. It looks like a Invid from the robotech had sex with a Black & Decker buzzsaw, but it is cool looking!
5. Jeezy - April 25, 2008 12:01 PM
These are not bad renderings. I can't wait to buy this toy for my kid next year.
6. SmokingGirl - April 25, 2008 12:02 PM
Ugh. *head to desk* Why?
Can't we go back to the way things were? You know, R2-D2 trashcans, Mario sheets, Bantha slippers.
Memo to all: we are not in the robot apocalypse. *sigh*
7. MoMan - April 25, 2008 12:06 PM
Yup....just made a human mess in my pants. Tonight's nightmare forecast calls for a dose of being chased through the woods by GiantbuzzsawIwilleatyourdreams Overlord (Which I will call it till the sadist who invented it gives me a name to associate with robot antichrist) with Robotic BigDogs tracking and me crying like a little schoolgirl......forest fire prevention my ass
8. jassclef - April 25, 2008 12:13 PM
Ladies and Gentlemen! Allow me to introduce you to the bastard child of ED-209 and Ed Gein!
...ED-WTFOMGBBQ...
9. Angel - April 25, 2008 12:30 PM
It probably could kick Aibos little tail, and that mostly because of the razor (both the gigant version and the miniature) but cmon, it doesnt really has a practical use and it cost a fortune
10. stuey - April 25, 2008 12:43 PM
@2, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm at work and tried not to attract attention to my laughter....FAILED
11. Shoes - April 25, 2008 12:52 PM
Time to kiss our collective asses goodbye.
I can't be the only one that's imagining that old movie, Overdrive, right about now.... Bastards. We have to kill all these robotics people and kill them now! Lest their creations kill us!
12. damn luddites - April 25, 2008 12:58 PM
@ Jeezy - "These are not bad renderings."
yeah, and they're not bad for scale models either
http://www.coroflot.com/public/individual_set.asp?name=Jordan+Guelde&sort_by=1&c=1&set_id=165583&individual_id=182568
13. Scott - April 25, 2008 1:02 PM
SG, you just can't stop with the Bantha slippers, can you? Well, I will defend to the death your right to mention them in every post from now until....I get tired of doing it.
14. Caramida - April 25, 2008 1:16 PM
Where's Yoshimi when we need her?!
15. wiinja - April 25, 2008 1:40 PM
i must say, the "we're all gonna die!" tagged posts are my favorites
16. Meaty_Urologist - April 25, 2008 1:57 PM
Maybe this is my Y-chromosome speaking here, but why on earth do they show a close-up of this things crotch in pic #5?
17. SmokingGirl - April 25, 2008 2:51 PM
Scott, those slippers were the best thing that was ever posted on this site. And those slippers were denied the joy of being on my feet. Why was that, you may ask? Because Lucas is a douche, that's why. *sobs* I'll never have those slippers...*sobs harder*
18. SlowMonkey - April 25, 2008 2:54 PM
I must have a landspeeder to hunt them through that forest! The salvation of mankind depends on my having a landspeeder.
19. Daniel Shankalnd II - April 25, 2008 6:11 PM
I am the Co designer on this independent study, the other version of the concept can be seen at coroflot.com/dbs2. Both Robots share many common parts, and were designed as a pair. The above renderings (with gray backgrounds) were built in Alias and Rendered in Hypershot.
20. Cyberwulf - April 26, 2008 3:40 AM
F***... better redouble my efforts at building my zap gun, and better make it pierce armour...
21. pickle - April 26, 2008 10:45 PM
hahaaaaa, you are so funny sometimes you almost make me choke to death on my food, which I enjoy. I enjoy it far more than having my head ripped off and replaced with that robotic head in .02 seconds when this f***ing thing busts through my living room wall.
22. jon - January 31, 2009 4:59 AM
I never saved your site but I always end up back here and fascinated with your posts. Know what that means? It means you are super awesome.